And I Don't Know Why
When Father told us he was coming, this faceless boy that one of us
would have to marry, I wasn't at all happy. I'd been going through a
rough spell at school. Every jock and want-to-be at school was trying
to prove he could take me down, "so he could date me". Garbage, of
course. None of them cared about me. It was all about their egos.
They wanted to win the contest, and I wouldn't be anything more than a
trophy they'd won. It made me so furious I could just explode.
I hated what those boys showed me. I hated their need to show off,
their lack of concern for what I thought, the way they looked at my
body in gym class, the way they'd do anything to win; in short, the
immaturity that made them boys and not men. It wasn't just the
jocks, but the jocks were the worst and so I expected the worst from
this new boy. After all, according to my father, he'd been training
in martial arts since the moment he could walk.
So the first thing I did when he showed up was challenge him to a
sparring match. I wanted to take him down a peg, show him that he
couldn't expect to just walk in and lord it over us because he'd gone
to China to train and because he was a boy. It didn't work out
exactly the way I'd planned. Or at all.
He was incredibly good. I managed to tag him a couple of times, but
not solidly and I suspect he let me do it, just so I wouldn't feel
bad. He claimed that he'd just underestimated me and next time he'd
know better.
By the time we trooped back for the meeting between the families I was
seriously reconsidering my position on boys...or at least willing to
make an exception. The announcement of the engagement seemed to
take him off guard but he recovered quickly and announced that there
was a problem that might make him unacceptable. It was then we found
out what that horrible old man had done to him. The curse.
The others were stunned . . . initially repelled. I was sympathetic
and angry at Mr Saotome. Before I knew what was happening, we were
engaged. Go fig. Well, despite his little problem he was the most
mature boy my age I'd ever met, and I never had a chance with Dr. Tofu
anyway.
Of course, he got into a fight with Kuno. That was unavoidable. All
Kuno and Nabiki's fault, he just had to deal with it. He did a lot of
that, dealing with problems created by other people, his father in
particular. A Chinese girl named Shampoo showed up. She wanted
to marry him, and I really couldn't blame her, but I hated her anyway.
Kuno's sister wanted him too, and I _really_ hated her. She was just
plain nasty. A boy named Ryoga appeared at about the same time,
and I hated him too. He was always trying to pick fights with Ranma,
no matter how hard Ranma tried to reason with him. He kept blaming
Ranma for "making his life hell" but so far as I could tell, the thing
that really made his life hell was his sense of direction problem, and
Ranma had nothing to do with that.
Then "P-Chan" showed up; this cute little pig that I immediately
wanted to make into a pet. Ranma put a stop to that in a hurry.
Just as well. If Ranma hadn't warned me, I might have let Ryoga
sleep in my room! I was furious at Ryoga for not trying harder to
let me know he was human.
Still, I had to feel sorry for him. I could imagine what it would be
like to be so tough and then suddenly find yourself helpless, and at
the mercy of others. He was wrong to blame Ranma for his curse
but . . . Well I could see why he was so unhappy and believe me,
I understood that need of his to lash out, It's not like he ever
really hurt Ranma.
So, I played peacemaker. Ryoga was a lot more willing to listen to
reason when it came from me. He'd been standing in Ranma's shadow
for long enough that it came across as condescension when Ranma
tried to make peace. Later on, as things got more serious, Ryoga even
started helping us out. Ranma might not be alive now without Ryoga's
help. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be.
And somewhere along the line, I realised that I didn't love Ranma.
He was my friend. He was my rolemodel. He was my hero.
But I didn't love him and I didn't want to marry him. I wanted to
marry Ryoga. Believe me, that got complicated. After all, how could
I reject Ranma? Family honour said I had to marry him, and nobody
would ever understand why I preferred someone who was . . . well,
kind of unstable and not half so smart or nice.
So, why did I finally marry Ryoga? Well, maybe it's just that Ranma
was _too_ perfect. I'm not perfect. Far from it. Maybe in the end
I wanted someone who I could deal with on equal terms. Or maybe
I just wanted someone who would need me. Ranma didn't need me.
I couldn't do anything for him that he couldn't do better for himself,
or have dozens of girls clamouring to do for him. In the end I needed
to fill a hole in someone's life, and Ranma just didn't have any empty
spaces.
Vertical Horizon, "Everything You Want"
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be
He's says all the right things at exactly the right times
But he means nothing to you and you don't know why