[With acknowledgements to Shady Milkman and Chris Kern, who wrote about
half of this.]
After it was made known to him that he was the cause of numerous voting
problems in the State of Florida, the following interview was recorded
between Chad Kumada and a woman whom sources identified as his
girlfriend:
Chad: Gee, um, I don't know how this could have happened. I was here
sweeping the temple steps on November 7. I've never even been to
Florida. By the way, my name's Yuuichirou.
Rei: ...PREGNANT Chad?!?!?!?!?
Chad: Well, y'see, they've ruled it a mistake; it doesn't count...
Rei: Since WHEN does being PREGNANT not COUNT?!?
Chad: Umm...well, it was just these weak old dudes. Most of those who
had me pushed all the way through, though some left me hanging.