Subject: [FFML] [C&C] Re: [Fanfic][R1/2] Pastpresent - Echoes in Darkness
From: "S. Zoogz Jamison" <zoogz2@hotmail.com>
Date: 11/18/2000, 1:44 AM
To:
CC: "FFML" <ffml@fanfic.com>



  Here goes nothing, it's been ages since I've done this 

last...





Pastpresent 9 - Echoes In Darkness



 If there was any indication that it wasn't as light as 

the rest of the series, this is it...



 > It was not something that revealed itself in a

sudden stroke of lightning. Rather, it was a gradual

awakening, as if from a light doze in a sun that was

rapidly getting too warm for comfort. I was not happy.

There was something fundamentally flawed with how I

was living.



 The simile in this paragraph was one of the best descriptions of 

teenage angst I've heard.



At first, I tried to ignore it. It frightened me for

reasons I could not explain, and my bravery has always

been limited to certain areas in which I excel. I fear I've

seen too much of this side of myself in you to please me,

but no matter. No child will ever be completely to the

liking of his parents, especially where their own

shortcomings are concerned.



Ahh, yes.  Genma, the one to talk about shortcomings...



The Saotome family home was large for a house in

crowded Tokyo. The house itself was only of medium size, but

the garden was large and lavish, protected from the

surrounding area by stone walls.



 You'd be surprised how many of these places abound in the suburbs 

of Tokyo (Nerima being just one example)



The central feature of the garden was a roughly circular

pond, the home of several long-suffering carp. Saotome-sensei

was fond of aerial attacks, and Soun and Genma had wound up

toppling into the pool more often that they cared to admit. The

fish were very agile and rather stressed-out as a result.



Wonder how stressed-out fish really can get...



Both of the two disciples of the master were familiar

with the garden in a way difficult to understand. Saotome-

sensei had raised them both up to favored status on the same

day, and informed them that they would no longer pay him a

weekly teaching fee.



 If I may make a diffident suggestion... might it sound better to write, 

"Both disciples of the master..."



"Money is proper for the lower levels of the Art," he had

told them. "That is fair value. But the inner secrets of the

Saotome-ryuu are more valuable that all the wealth in Japan.

To give me money and think it a fair exchange would be an

insult. If you will be my students, you will give me your

unquestioning obedience. That is a worthy payment! And you

will remind yourselves of this fact by keeping my garden in

order."



 It could be worse... Saotome-sensei could have them waxing 

his cars.  (Wax on, wax off...)



Saotome-sensei demanded that his garden be perfect.

That meant that every blade of grass and every shoot of every

bush had to be exactly the right length, to the millimeter. And

the master could tell instantly if it wasn't.



 Working for people like this really stinks... especially when you're 

not getting paid for it.  And to throw a grocery job in the mix on 

Genma, much less his mother... wow, I wonder how he doesn't 

snap more than just a feeling of slight angst.



 > Genma chuckled sourly. He and Soun, on their own

initiative, had once spent an entire week comparing notes and

pouring over the koans, stories, and spatial relationships of

the elements making up a quarter of the garden. At the end they

had uncovered a sequence of powerful strikes that had since

become a favored attack, a beautifully simple blocking

technique, and a set of relaxation techniques designed for

developing ki. Both of them were firmly convinced that

Saotome-sensei would never have mentioned them.



 They deduced this from the presence of holes or rocks in 

the garden?  Wow, I need me one o' 'dem Japanese gardens!



Worst of all, there were major elements in the garden

that the master had yet to identify or expound on.



Wonder if this includes "carp-fu".



Genma shook his head in disgust. Getting nostalgic for

work he had yet to finish?



 Especially the hot and sweaty kind... Genma certainly has 

changed over the years.



"Yes. No. I don't know." He sighed, frustrated. "I love what

I do here. Learning from Saotome-sensei is such a privilege,

and such a joy... why would I ever want to do anything else? I

don't know anything else! There is nothing else!"



Gee, this sounds familiar...



"You've chosen a bad time to have your personal crisis,

then," the old woman said, smiling slightly. "It started after

you and Soun and Nodoka returned from that trip, didn't it?"



"Yeah." It had. He had felt the first faint stirrings of it on

the plane home. "At first I thought it was just me coming down

from all the excitement, but now..."



 Skirting death can do that to a person... but I see where he's 

coming from.  Time on a plane, especially when one's returning 

home, is a marvelous time to take stock in life and figure out 

what you're heading back to.



"Nonsense," Grandmother Saotome said firmly. "I know

you and Soun. You love nothing better than fighting some

absurdly powerful and dangerous foe or technique. It's not in

you to be afraid of something like that."



Until Happosai.



"Then the war. He was based in Rabaul, and quickly

became an ace. Nishizawa, Ota, Sakai, Saotome... he was one of

our best. Fighter pilots are not so different from martial

artists."



 Meant to ask about this.  I'm under the assumption that you're 

referring to the young man Minatoko's involved with as "Saotome" 

in this series of names.  I take it that he married her (he's referred 

to as "son-in-law" later) and took her family name?  For some 

strange reason, I was under the impression that taking the wife's 

name wasn't common in Japan...

(boy, it's clumsy for me to refer to him as "young man"...)



 > She shook her head sadly. "Then the tide turned, and the

American planes grew more sophisticated, their pilots more

skilled, their numbers doubling, tripling... there could really be

only one ending. I think the dear young man knew it. We didn't -

because of the censorship, you know. It came as a shock. They

didn't even have a body for us to burn."



Therefore, he probably ended his life as a kamikaze pilot...



Grandmother Saotome shook her head. "Our family has

never been eager to go that route, no matter how wretched or

disgraced our condition. No. She had been a person who lived

for the Art and her husband. He was gone. And so she turned

even more to the Art, discarding... important things as she did.

And it eventually killed her."



 Vengeance without a specific target... yikes.  That's the kind of 

property damage that Ranma can only dream of.



He shook his head. Either he didn't want to, or he was so

afraid of doing so that it amounted to the same thing. And he

wasn't going to let several years work at fending her off go to

waste because of a little bit of angst.



Good to see he has his priorities straight.  =P



"Okay, man, gimme your wallet and..."



Part of Genma's mind watched as he broke the mugger's

arm, dislocated his leg, and sent the ragged man flying into a

concrete wall with a moist crunch. He didn't break his stride.



 The only bit of humor in the whole piece.  Actually, it was 

nice to offset this introspection.



He stopped several minutes later, staring blankly at

another set of steps. Joe's Garage.



 When a person's feeling their lowest, they'll go where the most 

feel welcome... good choice of location.



He looked at the bright lights for a few seconds, suddenly

very much aware of the darkness around him. Then he turned,

and made his way back into the night.



 And Genma realizing that even sticking around here and talking 

to the inhabitants was a good choice as well.  Sometimes the 

internal problems can only be solved internally...



He bent, and began to scrape away at the moss below it.

It looked uneven, ragged the way it was. If he was going to

break Saotome-sensei's instructions, he might as well do an

ascetically pleasing job of it...



Wow... getting on towards twilight, if not nighttime... and to relax 

himself he does yardwork.  He really should figure out that this is 

what he's good at, instead of a grocery job... (maybe public 

sanitation?  ^_^)



What was this? He had heard of similar vaults in old

ninja clan citadels, but the Saotomes were hardly that.

Moreover, he would have thought that the bombing...



The bombing. Genma nodded. Perhaps this had been a

shelter, a hiding place in case the bombs fell or the home

islands were invaded.



Yeah, that's a heck of a hiding place.



A sense of panic overtook him about halfway down. The

moon seemed to leer above him like a cold dead eye, and the

walls suddenly reminded him of a gaping maw. There was

nothing but darkness below...



..foreshadowing?  "Echoes in Darkness" indeed, he's going to 

find something to his liking...

 

He wanted to climb back up. He didn't, though, even as the

panic began to catch and spread. Instead he descended even

faster, the full moon seeming to beam greenly down on him, its

glow outlining him and the dank earth in blues and blacks.



The moon changed personalities in a heartbeat, didn't it?



The knob turned easily under his grip. The door swung

open, and Genma stared. Beyond it was another room, smaller,

with a bed, a writing desk, a sword rack, and a niche for a vase

of wilted flowers.



 Would this be a niche *for* a vase with flowers, or a niche 

*containing* a vase filled with wilting flowers?



Genma lurched up into a sitting position, the sleep

receding like a black tide. There was something... where was

he... what...?



 Beautiful way to set the scene immediately.  Black tide, in 

contrast to cozy room, sets the alarms off in the mind.



"Just me and a lot of dust," he said loudly.



"Glad to hear it," a voice replied.



 "And WHAT have I told you about keeping the garden 

neat?  You're even wasting my light bill, Kasigi!" Saotome-

sensei barked.



"Eep!"



"I was told you were dead. Nodoka was told you were

dead."



She laughed, a painful, tearing sound. In the hollows of

her face, a ruddy glow blazed up, foxfire against the blackness.

"And do you think that is incorrect, disciple of the Saotome-

ryuu?"



There were kami, and things like those in Sumatra. He

had no trouble believing in ghosts. "No."



"...no, I don't think that's incorrect...." Okay, I think I've parsed 

it correctly.  Took a couple secs though... ^_^;;



"With you? You have come to my place, your mind full of

sweet thoughts and hate and life, and you ask me this?" Her

voice moved to a sibilant hiss. "You are like me, disciple of

Saotome. I can feel your spirit calling."



 The same sibilant hiss of chains sweeping across a stone 

floor... good word-choice.



Genma shuddered. The last thing he wanted was to be like

this thing of shade and smoke. "I've heard about you. You

misused the Art..."



..but mostly smoke.  Heck, she's got the unfiltereds out!



"It is a powerful Art, the basis of my father's form. Once

he was a powerful adept of it, before renouncing it to build his

own style." Minatoko laughed, the sound again making him

cringe. "He would never have taught me it, and once I would

have been happy to learn his pathetic dilution. Weak old man!

He left his scrolls in a bookcase in his study, never thinking

that his daughter might view them without his permission. I

read the works of Master Happosai, the first disciple of Master

Fuhai, and saw their strength. I asked my father to teach me

their Art. He refused."



 Uh-oh.  Unless I missed a chance mention in any of the other 

chapters, this is the first time that Happosai's been mentioned 

by name... had to happen eventually though.  ^_^



"He would have denied me my birthright. Master Fuhai

was willing to teach me. I became his last disciple." She took a

long drag on her cigarette, sending the oily smoke billowing,

leaving her for a second as only two glowing points of red in an

inky sea. "It was hellish, but I learned. The terrible purity of

it... it made what I had learned before look like a child's

frightened flailing. Fuhai-sensei died before he could finish my

training. His heart had grown weak, and I struck him down in

his own hermitage, and claimed the title of Master of the

Musabetsu Kakutou-ryuu for myself."



 She was able to claim that title based on the fact that she beat up 

a withered old man?  On the other hand, Happosai's never really 

been the one to stand on much formality, I guess...

 

She sighed. "I don't believe he even meant to kill me, just

bend me to his will. Stupid, really. I had taken some young

people to use in my Art, and I tried to make use of them when I

realized how much more powerful than me he was. He was

forced to use a terrible attack to stop me. I do not remember

seeing the end of it. A pity. It was very good."



He could have just wanted her laundry bag, if you get right down to it...



"Use up would be more accurate. Their deaths would have

allowed me to defeat him, I believe... it was my focus, you see.

The door that opened my true potential."



 Hmm... Minatoko needed people to die before she focused, but 

the mere threat of anyone's death is usually the way Ranma 

gears up for his battling... "Anything Goes" indeed.  ^_^



He nodded, hesitating. "When Nodoka told those stories, I

wished... I wished that you were my mother too."



 From honoring as a sempai to honoring as a mother.  This 

Genma certainly has a large heart when he wants to.



"Thank you," she said again. "Some memories are best left

in peace."



 And some memories become more peaceful.  I'm curious if 

Nodoka would believe Genma if he ever told her of this 

encounter.



She took the cigarette from her lips, examined it for a

second, and then crushed it between her fingers. Darkness fell,

swift and complete.



 I believed this was a very fitting end to a rather poignant 

conversation.  Kudos.



He returned a few minutes later, then left again, leaving

the new, bright flowers in the vase.



 An eminently good memorial, and even more fitting if I 

believe those flowers to be from the garden of the 

Saotomes...



The melancholy I'd felt vanished after that. It

would return from time to time, periodically, but never

as strong, and  never lasting.



 Nothing like a spirit psychologist to show one the error 

of their ways.



Minatoko's shade knew me too well, I fear. But she

was not right, son. I am not her. And should the memory

of me rise to speak to some future disciple of the

Saotome-ryuu, in a dark night of the soul, it will not be a

twisted thing like her, curled around her empty Art like a

serpent around a ball of thorns.



 Just another comment to say that it's... I dunno, just fitting... that 

the art of Anything Goes is so... well, "anything goes."



C&C, as always, requested.



I hope this was what you were looking for... ^_^



 Overall, I liked the tone of this chapter.  After reading the 

last chapter, and this one, I am even more a fan of this series 

than I was when I read the previous chapters in March.  It's 

nice to see Genma have a soul once in a while... and a soul in 

turmoil even in all of the comedic situations in life is all that 

much richer for the emotions.  Speaking of that, I've seen the 

full range of emotions of this work, and so far they're all great.  



Boy, is another chapter on the way in a day or two?



   --- S. "Zoogz" Jamison





-- .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List---. | Administrators - ffml-admins@fanfic.com | | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@fanfic.com | | Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject | `---http://www.fanfic.com/FFML-FAQ.txt ---'