Subject: [FFML] Re: [Fanfic][R1/2] Pastpresent - Ash and Water
From: Vincent Seifert
Date: 11/16/2000, 1:14 AM
To: Susan Doenime
CC: ffml@fanfic.com



Woohoo!  I knew there was a reason I got up this morning.  :)

 

Note to new readers - this will all make limited sense without reading the

previous installments, located at:

http://www.thekeep.org/~mike/pastpresent.html



But they're worth the read, honest! ^_^



What she said.  *nodnod*



All comments strictly my opinion, and offered in good spirit.



------------------------------------------------------------

Pastpresent

by Susan Doenime

R1/2 characters and backstory are the creations and property of Takahashi

Rumiko. Used without permission. No challenge to copyrights should be

inferred or taken.

------------------------------------------------------------

Pastpresent homepage at: http://www.thekeep.org/~mike/pastpresent.html

------------------------------------------------------------



Pastpresent 8 - Ash and Water



		Soun? Well, that, I think, was the biggest change. 

	We fought like cats and dogs back in the old days, 

	although we did have our moments of cooperation. After 

	Laos, the cooperation grew stronger and the competition 

	slackened.



{This will ring bells with Ranma, I guess; it certainly does with me, as

the same sort of thing happens with all of Ranma's adversaries who hang

around long enough... same stuff, different generation.}



		Why? I'm not entirely sure. I think the trip had a lot 

	to do with it. And, too, there was an incident shortly 

	afterward that it seems everyone but me was involved in. 



{I like this concept. There aren't any Ranma 1/2 stories that don't

feature Ranma prominently, so it's intriguing that an episode like this

would occur even in a tale that is, according to Genma, at least, his

own...}



		I got most of the story later. It's amazing, really, 

	how little things shape our lives...



{I don't think Ranma would be amazed at all, somehow.  :) }



	With one final sigh - a long, deep, melodramatic one - he 

quickly glanced around to find the source of the sobbing. It 

seemed to be coming from a girl in a pink and white dress, 

sitting dejectedly on a bench and bawling her eyes out.



{My first thought was some ancestor of Shiratori Azusa.  :) }



	He hurried over; chivalrous brain neurons buzzing



{I'd use a comma there myself...}

 

frantically. "Excuse me, Miss? Miss? Can I help you?"



	A lost cat. Soun's heart melted into a puddle of vaguely 

protective male goo. "Now now," he said, trying to sound at



{suggest} "Now, now,"

 

once firm and sympathetic. "Crying won't help. When did you 

lose, ah, Neko-chan?"



	With that in mind, he started making his way back 

towards the Tendo estate, pausing now and then to call Neko-

chan's name. If he was going to be searching for the next few 

days, it would be wise to gather equipment. A net, perhaps, and 

a portable teakettle, and perhaps a tent, and catnip, and felt 

cat toys, and possibly bearers to carry the equipment...



{How... feudal.  Nice image.  :) }



	He was so wrapped up in planning the expedition that he 

almost didn't notice the young woman marching towards him 

with determined step.



with a determined {?}



	"Can I help you?" he asked, noting with mild curiosity the 

sledgehammer she was carrying over one shoulder.



{Hmmm... if it were a giant meat tenderizer, she'd fit right in with a

later generation of combat-food-service practitioners. :) }



	Soun examined her a bit more closely. Her garb did look 

more rural than usual; tough, baggy monpe trousers and a



{I'd use a colon there...}

 

blouse of soft leather. She was muscular; not in the stocky 

sort of way that Kiri and Genma were, but more of a wiry build 

like his own. And, of course, there was that sledgehammer... "Is 

the, ah, hammer for whoever you're looking for?"



	"Hmm? Oh, yes." She looked somewhat embarrassed.



	"Who is it, if I might ask? I don't mean to be rude, but if 

some violent ruffian is requiring women to chase him with 

hammers, the matter needs to be corrected."



{It'll seem perfectly natural a generation later, Soun... :) }



	"I"m afraid the family makes a business of raising them 

up," she said, looking somewhat ashamed. "But this one was too 

much even for them. I hate the unholy things, always have, so 

they chose me to track him down and kill him before he 

attracts too much attention."



	"That's horrible!" Soun said, honestly appalled. A clan of 

evil sorcerers, calling up demons, in modern Japan? And 

sending a young woman to hunt down one of their mistakes? 

"Such things shouldn't be allowed!"



	She nodded, head hanging in shame. "I agree, but none of 

them listen to me. They act like I'm some sort of fanatic. And 

there aren't technically any laws against it."



{All this description is so cunningly ambiguous that it simply must be

promoting a horrible misunderstanding.  Suspiciously, I read on. :) }



	"Well, then. Follow me." He set off, his new companion in 

tow, original destination forgotten. Catnip and bearers 

wouldn't be appropriate for demon-hunting.



{Hmmm, maybe not... is the bake-neko around yet?  :) }

 

	The neighborhood started to go steadily downhill as they 

walked; paint peeling and graffiti decorating walls in ever-

increasing amounts. Soun did his best to ignore it; some of his 

friends happened to live here, and so he would forgive the 

excretable conditions for their sake.



{I, um, am not entirely certain, but I think perhaps you might have

meant "execrable"...}



	"It's not really a shrine," Soun replied. "Unless you count 

the worship of money and engine grease.



{Hey, they hold services there. :) }



	"Nah, a bunch of punk monks has closed down the 

Hagetaka in Ant Town. They say it's a source of criminal and 

immoral behavior." She turned to the pack. "Whadaya say, 

people, is it a source of criminal and immoral behavior?"



	"HAI!" they roared back.



{hehe!}

 

	"Damn straight," Kiri said. "And no prayer-chanting 

zealots are gonna keep us from our god-given right to get 

drunk, plan a mugging over a glass of illegal alcohol, and then 

go accidentally maim someone!"



	"Bono smash!" The sound of breaking concrete came from 

the rear of the pack.



	"No, no, Bono not smash quite yet!" Kiri said soothingly. 

"Akuto, keep him under control until we can get him pointed at 

the monks, okay?"



{Now THERE's a tough job.  :) }



	"Yah, 'e's very excited..."



	"Anyway, Soun, we're off to go get blasted at our beloved 

old Hagetaka," Kiri concluded. "And may the kami help the monk 

who gets in our way, coz nothing else will."



{suggest, though I'll admit slurs by their very nature needn't adhere to

rules of anything except maybe onomatopoeia} 'coz



	Soun shook his head, faintly appalled. "Kiritsubo, you are 

an irredeemable brute."



	She blushed. "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever 

said to me, Tendo. Thank you." She waved. "For truth, injustice, 

and alcohol!"



{hehehe!}



	Misuto opened the door seconds later, her slender form 

garbed in her usual blue and yellow and grey kimono. A heap of 

laundry floated in midair behind her, a thick bubble of steam 

surrounding it. As Soun watched, it tumbled over and over 

within the bubble, soapsuds mixing through the clothes and 

steam.



{Whoa.  Nifty.}

 

	"Are you really a kami?" Toriiko asked, sounding 

somewhat dazed.



	"Of course I am. I'm too magnificent to be anything else." 

Misuto struck a pose. "Would you like to worship me?"



{hehehe!}



	The kami beamed. "Well! How sensible of you! In the old 

days, mortals used to come to the kami for help all the time, 

and we would give them dangerous and difficult tasks that 

often resulted in the horrible deaths of..." She noticed their 

expressions, and coughed delicately. "Of course, that was in 

the old days. How can I help you and your woman?"



{I'm not sure why, but for some reason I hear Misuto being voiced by

Takada Yumi rather than Inoue Kikuko. :) }



	"I'm Toriiko," the hammer-wielding girl said. "I'm not his 

woman."



{Well, the day is young... :) }



	The kami seemed to consider that, then shrugged. "Modern 

relationships are so difficult to understand. Especially the 

ones without obvious copulation. I blame the decline of 

traditional moral values."



	"Of course," Soun agreed tactfully. He wasn't used to 

having to carry the modern point of view in a conversation. 



{She's archaic; Soun's merely old-fashioned.  :) }



	"Kiritsubo has warrior honor?" he asked, somewhat taken 

aback. From what he had seen, Kiri's view of bushido was that 

it was a wonderful thing for other people to have.



	"Of course! Why, at this very moment she's off on a 

valiant crusade to liberate a sacred shrine from a cabal of evil 

monks!"



{Ah, perspective. For a mist goddess, Misuto sure has a black-and-white

view of things... :) }



	"Of course!" Misuto said happily. "With your woma... your 

lov... your acquaintance by your side, you will bravely face the 

ravening claws of the demonic horror, and be torn into small 

pieces. Your blood will mix and flow together towards the sea. 

Such tragedy!" She dabbed gleefully at her eyes. "Oh, I haven't 

seen a good doomed quest in ages!"



	Soun swallowed. "Misuto-san, I am expecting to win."



	"Oh, of course you are," the kami said cheerfully. "It's 

more tragic that way."



{heh!  I just love her dialogue.  I suspect it's a lot of fun to write.}



	"Can you give us a map?" Toriiko asked hesitantly. "I'm 

not very familiar with Tokyo."



	"Oh, I can do better than that," Misuto said proudly. 

"Observe!"



{Or maybe even "Behold!"  I don't think "Lo!" would work, though.  :) }



	Outlines writhed on the stairwell walls. They descended, 

eyes avoiding the black clumps in the corner that resembled, 

but were not, were not charcoal.



{Repetition intentional, I take it?  It works for me...}



	"Misuto-san isn't wrong about these things very often," 

Soun said. Something about the tomb - for that was how it



{suggest} was what it

 

seemed, to him - was making him ill at ease. He supposed it 

was to be expected, with Go-Jigokuoni lurking in the wreckage, 

but it still nagged at him. "Let's have a look outside. If we don't 

find anything, we can go back and consult with the kami again."



	Beyond the street, a pile of rubble rose in a mound. Hands 

rose pleadingly from it, blackened and twisted, flames burning 

from their fingertips. A bomber, olive-drab in color, sat atop 

the heap like a toad on a dunghill, watching them.



	"You're right," Toriiko said. "How strange." She pointed to 

the cockpit, where a cartoon of a sedan decorated the nose. 

"There's writing by that drawing. Can you read English?"



	"I can." He scrambled slightly up the rubble. "Oh. It's.... 

hmm." He frowned, trying to make sense of the words, then 

brightened. "Ah, I see. It's just the name of the aircraft. 'Bock's 

Car.' Perhaps Bock-san was the pilot, and..."



{eeeek. I think I see what's coming... one historical/techie point,

though, in hopes that it won't be blown all out of proportion and

awareness that the story doesn't hinge on it: "Bock's Car" had/has (it's

in a museum someplace, if memory serves) a polished aluminum exterior

rather than being painted olive-drab. "Enola Gay", same thing; all the

B-29s that attacked Japan were uncamouflaged. The B-25s of the much

earlier Doolittle raid were olive drab, though, so maybe the demon is

conflating two different archetypes of "bomber"...}



	Inside, in the pilot's seat, a figure sat, proportions 

subtly wrong. Man shaped, but poorly distributed, as if a wax 



Man-shaped,



doll had been left too long in the sun.



	-i ate what they fed me   i am young   i feasted twice   no 

more   but i wait   i am patient   i will have more feasts and 

larger ones   man bore me   i shall eat him   i ate your mother 

and i ate your father and i ate your sister and one day i will 

eat you too little girl-



{Eeeek.}



	"Oh dear. I can send you back if you like..."



	"NO!" the two hunters screamed in unison.



{Ah, we're back to comedy.  Whew.  :) }



	"Side?" Misuto looked shocked. "I'm a kami, dear. I'm 

supposed to toy with both sides and then deliver a heartfelt 

eulogy over the bodies of the slain. It's in the job description."



{So that's how Kasumi stays so calm all the time.  :) }



	Soun frowned slightly, professional interest piqued. He 

was fairly sure that he could take out a team of Kiri and Bono; 

Genma probably could as well. Saotome-sensei would have no 

trouble at all, and Kuonji Inji would undoubtedly be able the

manage it. Those were the only four people in the city he would 



be able to manage

 

	Soun shrugged philosophically. "I suppose morality, 

justice, law, and order will just have to triumph today."



	Yeah. It's horrible," the biker said dejectedly. "The world 



"Yeah.



has really gone to shit when a bunch of decent, hard-working 

criminals like us can't terrorize a devout religious group in 

peace." He brushes away a tear. "This just ain't the Japan my 

father was so proud of."



{heh. These characters are twisted in more directions than a pretzel

factory. :) }



	Soun frowned, thinking. Misuto didn't seen to be much 



didn't seem to {?}



help - their quarry was not supernatural, and hence out of her 

sphere of expertise. "Well, we could continue to search the 



{I would have said "sphere of influence"... isn't that the theological

term?}



city, I suppose. I suspect that will take weeks at the least, 

however. Nerima is a very large ward, and there's no guarantee 

that he won't simply move on to another part of Tokyo, or even 

out of the city altogether." He sighed. "What we really need is 

an authority on abominations like th-"



	"I do know someone who might be able to help," he 

admitted. "An archeologist."



	"Oh, him!" Misuto said eagerly. "Yes, I saw him while 

scrying on your trip. He seemed quite capable."



{Uh oh.  The capable one is NOT the one Soun has in mind...}



	"Scrying?" Soun inquired, frowning. "Is that anything like 

spying?"



	"A bit," the mist kami said cheerfully. "But it's all right 

for me to do it; I have a license. Does Nodoka usually fondle 

Kiritsubo-san, or was it just the heady excitement of the 

voyage?"



{"Yes."  :) }



	The fog thinned away, revealing a kitchen, a well-

appointed spice table, an oven, and a figure in a pink frilly 

'Piyo-Piyo' apron.



{bwahahaha!  Perfect touch.}



	"Oh, good," Kuonji Inji said mildly, reaching into his 

apron and extracting a twin-pronged knife. "Just a 

smokescreen. For a second there I thought my scones were 

burning. Hello, Tendo. Is there any reason I shouldn't kill you?"



{Nice of him to ask, I must say.  :) }



	"He doesn't seem very helpful," Misuto said 

disapprovingly. "You there! If you assist these noble lovers, I 

shall allow you to bask in my divine glory and worship me."



	Inji just stared, for once seeming to be completely at a 

loss for words.



{Yup, that'd do it, all right.  :) }



	The knife, the hand, and Inji's entire upper arm passed 

through Misuto's chest without resistance.



{Vince waves gray cheering fans  :) }



	"This is uncharacteristically decent of you, Kuonji," Soun 

said neutrally.



	"She asked me politely," Kuonji said mildly. "I can be 

quite decent to people who don't cheat me at cards, blow up my 

boat, take my rightful artifacts, and appear uninvited in my 

kitchen with loud Shinto divinities."



{Emininently sensible.  :) }



	He had a point, Soun supposed, although a very small one. 

"Well. Thank you, then."



	"You're welcome," Inji said, opening the oven. A rush of 

warm, scented air wafted out, filling the kitchen with the odor 

of bread and apricots. "Tendo. Don't think I've forgotten about 

Laos. Or about Kasigi. He's earned a special place in my 

heart."



	"I'm sure he'll be delighted to hear it," Soun replied, 

feeling slightly deflated. It was just like Genma to get all the 

really good vendettas. Damn his luck, anyway!



	"You can call us with the information at Nerima 2355, 

Extension Six," Misuto told the archeologist politely. "Please 

don't call after 11, because..."



	"...Kiritsubo will be thoroughly drunk by then, it being a 

Thursday, and why is the information going to her?" Inji 

finished, raising a questioning eyebrow.



{Inji really is amazingly clueful. If it weren't for his abysmal

luck, he'd be a much more serious nuisance. :) }

 

	"Necromancy, actually."



	Soun blinked. "Necromancy is a more acceptable field?"



	"Well, you get to wear a lot of cool black clothing, and 

you don't have to clean up and care for a sick freak of nature. 

And dead people have always been a personal interest. But it 

didn't seem to be very socially acceptable either, and my 

teacher was sort of an evil sociopath, so I gave it up."



{I'm trying to figure out how this ties in with the next generation, but

I'm stumped... guess I'll just have to wait for it.  :) }



	It was new, and somewhat ominous. While the garage saw 

all kinds of vehicles pass through it, a bright red van with the 

logo 'PGMALB' in violent yellow letters on the side was 

unusual.



{I'm sure the acronym will be explained shortly... :) }



	"But that's not the worst of it!" Kiri gestured to the group 

of impassive figures in red. "In a rare moment of unity, the, er, 

People's Glorious Marxist Animal Liberation Brigade has come 

to us with an offer to help..."



{Ah. :) }



	Soun choked. THAT was where he had seen them before, in 

the newspaper!



{suggest} before: in



	The Hagetaka nestled deep in the bowels of Ant Town. It 

had been a seaplane carrier, bombed and torpedoed in Tokyo 

Bay, and had been one of the first pieces of scrap to be hauled 

into the junkyard/residential district. The ship was now half-

buried in a mound of debris, which provided both stability and 

camoflague. It was a lively place below decks, with drinks, 



camouflage.



dancing, live music, and a clientele famous in post offices 

around Japan.



{suggest} throughout Japan.



	Soun knew all this, which was why the sight of a prayer 

gate at the entrance to it was almost as disturbing to him as 

to the rest of the horde.



	The bikes slowed. On the deck of the seaplane, saffron-



{Deck of the seaplane, or deck of the seaplane carrier?}



clad figures began appearing.



	A terrified cat streaked out of a hatch, and made a dash 

towards the bikers, who closed ranks around it protectively. 

The monks looked on with an air of smug serenity.



	Kiri motored her way up to the front of the pack, 

dismounted, and glared up at the holy men. "Right! We're here to 

evict you bozos! Get lost, or get dead."



{'bozos'?  Oh, very good.  :) }

 

	Soun looked at Toriiko. "That is not a demon."



	"We've been through this," she mumbled.



	"That is a pig."



{And I'll bet it's a sumo pig, too.  :) }



	Soun's eyes slowly opened and refocused. Kiri, Misuto, 

and Toriiko all stared anxiously down on him.



{<goggle> That's... a very vivid image. I don't suppose that Pastpresent

was originally spawned by the observation that the Tendo sisters have

absolutely nothing in common, was it? :) And I thought my conjectures

about Misuto and Kiritsubo were far-fetched...}



	The girl beamed at him. "Thank you for saving Neko-chan 

from my mean ol' sister, Tendo-san!"



{<Vince facefaults violently>}



		Don't go looking for the demon under the depths of 

	Ant Town. Soun went after it much later in his career, 

	when he was half out of his mind. I do not know if he 

	destroyed it; he returned half dead, and took some time 

	to recover. Whether he did or not, what it represented 

	was always more of a curse than a mere diabolic symbol 

	could ever be. Frightening, when the suffering wrought by 

	mortal man outstrips that of the divine.



{The fission-demon sequence was a bit jarring, but I guess it was

supposed to be... the only story purpose it seemed to serve was to break

up an unrelenting string of merry mayhem. Or maybe it will tie in to a

later story...}



C&C, as always, craved. ^_^



Well, since my regular Wednesday-night anime screening was called off

because one of the participants just gave birth, I was able to attend to

this a day early... hope this is what you were craving. ;)



Thanks for writing and sharing!



Vince Seifert    Fanfic Analyst   FFIRC Frog

Prime:  seifertv@csus.edu

Backup: seifertv@myrealbox.com

Techie: http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/

Fanfic: http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/

Ideas are worth their weight in gold.







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