Good stuff first....
Overall, I've found this story interesting and kept following it.
However, the "Tendos Strike Back" story arc has been disappointing to
me. Mostly because of the treatment of the Tendou family and their
allies, who come across as cardboard villains. While it's
understandable that the folks from the future (including an amnesiac
Ranma) treat them that way, the story shouldn't.
Part of it, I think, is that it's *easy* to condemn prejudices you
don't share. Once you slap the label of "bigot" on a character, you
don't have to think about whatever other feelings and emotions they
might have. They're just bad people. Strangely enough, just the
reasoning bigots use.
In the Asuka meets Genma & Nodoka scene, I desperately wanted Nodoka
to ask, "You really think it's that simple? That anyone who believes
differently than you do should give it up just because it is
inconvenient?"
To go back for a moment to the story that inspired this and several
others, Doenime's "Poison", it's not just a story about a prejudiced
bitch dumping Ranma at the altar over a triviality.
It's a story told by a young woman who has done a horrible thing, the
opposite of what she wanted to do, because she was led to believe
that her entire family would be destroyed if she didn't. Akane has
to find a way to rationalize that she did the right thing. If not,
then she threw away love, happiness and friendship--for nothing.
[Has anyone ever done a story where Akane decides to marry Ranma
anyways and damn the social repercussions?]
The scene in Alternate Future where Akane finally catches up to Ranma
comes off as fanfic cliche. C'mon now...Akane knows perfectly well
that Ranma can and will hit girls, including her, when he thinks he
needs to. She knows perfectly well he's several levels above her in
martial arts skill. And she "knows" that he's now traveling with
someone who's willing to cripple unarmed civilians out of spite.
So akane is not going to be rushing Ranma with the joke mallet in the
inane belief he's not capable of defending himself. She'd be rushing
him with a real weapon or barehanded out of fury and a justified
feeling that he won't listen to reason.
In summary, even though it was kind of cool to see Misato going
commando, this story arc could have used a little less "action" and a
lot more introspection and conversation.
I know you're going to be busy for a long time (best of luck in
Bosnia) and it is a hassle to rewrite entire story arcs, so please at
least have the folks from the future face the possibility that their
own prejudices caused them to misunderstand the circumstances in an
upcoming chapter.
Keep writing,
SKJAM!
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Calendar - Get organized for the holidays!
http://calendar.yahoo.com/