Disclaimer: None of the characters in Ranma 1/2 belong to me. They were
created by Rumiko Takahashi, and she deserves full credit for them. The
characters that have never appeared in Ranma 1/2 ARE mine.
Master of Ki
By Leif Johnson
http://www.geocities.com/leif_wj
CHAPTER 4
Thyme paced back and forth across the Tendo yard, pointing a stick at an
instructional board. "This is known as the Magic Vacuum," he stated,
pointing at a picture of a glass bottle.
"Isn't it a jar?" Ranma asked, confused.
Thyme smacked him over the head with the stick. "Of course! It sucks up
magic like a vacuum."
"Wait, isn't it an ancient artifact?" Ranma inquired.
"Of course!" Thyme answered matter-of-factly.
"Then why is it named after a modern item?" Ranma asked, folding his
arms across his chest.
"Anyway, it was last seen here in Japan, but the team looking for it had
it stolen from them," Thyme continued, ignoring Ranma and pointing at a
picture of a bunch of woeful Musk warriors. Ranma shook his head.
"Who stole it?" Kijo asked.
"No one knows his name, but we do have a picture." So saying, Thyme
flipped to the next page, which showed a picture of a small man with a
big head, half a head of hair, a small mustache, two horns, and a forked
tongue.
"Hey..." Ranma said, starting.
"Of course it would be that dirty old freak," Ryoga grumbled.
Kijo scratched his head. "You know, he kinda looks like Hap-" He
suddenly clamped his hand over his mouth and glanced around rapidly,
sweat practically flying from his brow.
"You know him?" Ranma asked, raising his eyebrows.
"NOOOOO!!!" Kijo screamed, his eyes suddenly turning bloodshot. He
looked around crazily, then took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.
"I mean, no, why do you ask?" he offered pathetically, smiling
sheepishly.
"Right, sure," Ranma said, not convinced, but didn't say anything else.
Ryoga, however, was more blunt.
"When did you meet him?" he asked curiously.
"Eh heh, heh, uh, uhm... er... I..." Kijo informingly answered. Ranma
rolled his eyes, but his curiosity was piqued.
"What, did he do something to you, too?" Seeing Kijo's frightened look,
he ventured, "Did he give you a Jusenkyo curse?"
Kijo shook his head rapidly, then took several very, very deep and very,
very ragged breaths. Ryoga smacked him on the back repeatedly, causing
Kijo to worry that his jaw was no longer connected to the rest of his
skull.
"I'm..." *thwack* "f..." *whack* "fi..." *thump* "I'M FINE ALREADY!" he
yelled, knocking Ryoga backwards. "Whatta ya tryin' ta do, break my back
or something?!"
"Aren't you supposed to do that when someone's choking?" Ryoga asked,
confused.
"NO!" Kijo yelled, his face turning red. "And that was HAGGARD
BREATHING!!"
"Well? How did you meet up with the old goat, anyway?" Ranma persisted.
"I'm telling you, I've never MET Happosai!" Kijo shrieked, his voice
shrill.
"Yeah," Ranma said, rolling his eyes, "we're really convinced now."
"Someone call my name?" Happosai asked, bounding over the wall with a
sack of lingerie over his shoulder.
"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Kijo shrieked, bolting off. Directly into the
wall.
"Okay, you old freak," Ranma growled, picking up Happosai, "What'd you
do to him?" Happosai innocently glanced at the boy imbedded in the wall,
then looked up at Ranma with puppy-dog-eyes.
"Who, me? How could you accuse such an INNOCE-" Ranma stomped him into
the ground before he could finish.
"Hey, Thyme," he said, gesturing to the fallen freak, "stand here for a
minute."
***
"Come on, Kijo, we just wanna know."
"GET BACK! I'LL NEVER TALK! ANTS TAKE YOUR EYES!" Kijo's own eyes were
bulging out of his sockets as a bit of foam dripped from the corners of
his mouth.
Ryoga sighed dejectedly. "He's gone completely crazy."
"You're probably right," Ranma agreed.
"Should he really be tied up?" Thyme asked. Kijo currently had 18 feet
of chain, 12 feet of rope, and 30 feet of 80 lb. Test fishing line
holding him to a boulder.
"Well, I wouldn't let a madman run loose in the streets," Ranma said
wisely, nodding his head. Suddenly he glanced at Happosai and coughed.
"What?" Happosai growled in an irritated manner. "Don't look at me like
that! YOU haven't just had your head reshaped into a breakfast sausage!"
He rubbed his badly bruised noggin for emphasis.
Thyme grumbled something unintelligible as he applied more salve to his
foot. "Nobody told me he was carrying bombs," he muttered, reaching for
the bandages.
"NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!! GET THOSE PLIERS AWAY!! KILL ME NOW!"
"This is really frustrating," Ryoga groused. "He's starting to get on my
nerves."
"Well, since HE'S obviously not going to tell us anything," Thyme said,
jabbing his thumb at Kijo, "I say we ask him." He pointed an accusing
finger at Happosai, who angrily lobbed a bomb at him. Thyme smacked in
aside.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!! MY NOSE IS GOING
TO IMPLODE!"
"Shut UP already!" Ryoga snarled, knocking Kijo unconscious.
"Thanks," Ranma muttered, snatching Happosai as he tried to sneak away.
"Now, old freak, what did you do to him?"
Happosai tossed Ranma aside and looked intently at Kijo's still form. He
circled him slowly clockwise, then counterclockwise, then closed his
eyes. Suddenly, his eyes snapped open. "Ah, yes, I remember!" he
exclaimed, smacking his fist into the palm of his other hand.
"What?" Ranma asked excitedly.
"I almost forgot," Happosai said, reaching into his pocket. "I got a new
bra for you, Ranma."
Ranma grabbed Thyme by that ankles and slammed him on Happosai.
"Hey!" Thyme shouted indignantly, kicking Ranma into the ceiling.
Ryoga peeled Happosai off the floor and folded him into an origami swan.
"Hey, that's pretty cool," Ranma said, peering down at it. Thyme nodded
his head in agreement. Kijo drooled.
"INFIEDELS!" Happosai shouted, leaping away to avoid the explosions he
left behind. He turned towards Kijo and announced, "I found the boy
years ago, in rags, wandering down the streets. Being the compassionate
sort, I asked him if he was lost. He told me how his parents had died
long ago, and how he was living on his own, at a tender age of five!
Naturally, I took him under my wing and trained him in the fine arts of
battle."
"LIAR!" Kijo shouted, snapping his head up. "I never saw you until I was
10!"
"At least he's somewhat rational," Thyme muttered.
"I found him being chased by a crowd of girls," Kijo explained. "I hit
him with a ki blast. After that, he was always following me, insisting
that I let him train me. Finally, I gave in. Then began my closest
experience to hell."
***
"What's taking him so long?" a young Kijo pondered, tapping his foot and
glancing at the door the old man had entered. Suddenly, the door flew
open and Happosai pulled him in.
"Just wait here, boy, and you'll receive your training soon," he said
before leaping out the window. Kijo looked around at the room, and his
eyes widened when he saw it was littered with lingerie. "Hurry!" he
heard Happosai call from outside. "There's an underwear thief in the
locker room!"
*A what?* he thought, confused. Suddenly, the door burst open and a
crowd of angry girls glared down at him. *Oh, no.*
"I want you to take as much as you can carry from that restaurant, or
you don't eat for a week!"
Kijo managed to steal plenty of food, as well as receive several
bruises, but not quite enough to satisfy Happosai's demand, which was
exactly equal to infinity minus one.
"What? Don't tell me that that hurts!"
Kijo whimpered from inside the contraption. He was surrounded by a web
of sticks and wires, any of which would trigger a huge amount of stones
to rain down on him should he so much as touch them. Meanwhile, Happosai
was pelting him with a never-ending supply of hot coals. "How much more
can you take? Hm? Well? Ooh, that must be painful!"
"Faster! I know you can pull this thing faster!" Happosai cackled from
his perch on top of a large cart which Kijo was frantically pulling. A
furious horde of villagers pursued them with pitchforks and rakes. Sweat
dripped from his brow, and his tongue lolled out of his mouth as he
panted heavily. Finally, he collapsed. "Oh well!" Happosai said with a
shrug, and leapt off the cart with a barrel of sake and a chunk of meat.
"Deal with them, okay?" Kijo whimpered and closed his eyes.
***
Ranma angrily slammed Thyme on top of Happosai again. "Will you STOP
that?!" Thyme shouted.
"Jeez, you old freak, he was only TEN when you did that?" Ranma
exclaimed.
Happosai stood up and shook his head. "He had a lot of potential, and I
burdened myself with the task of bringing it out of him. What did you
expect? Me to pamper him?"
Ranma grumbled something under his breath. Kijo cleared his throat
noisily. All signs of madness were gone, replaced by hate. And fear. "As
I was saying," he continued. "It all ended one day..."
***
Happosai gleefully stood in front of his latest creation, which was
truly a masterpiece. It stood roughly twenty feet tall, and had a small
room inside it that was viewable through the entryway. A mess of wires,
steel bars, and pipes snaked around its outside. The training manual had
stated that this technique would bring out a student's greatest ability.
Which was exactly what Happosai wanted.
Kijo stood off to the side, feeling truly terrified. The master's newest
training machine seemed to promise great amounts of pain.
Happosai beckoned Kijo closer, who hesitantly walked up with shaky
knees. Happosai jabbed at a few pressure points on Kijo while looking at
the manual, then tossed him into the entry of the machine. He began
flipping a few levers on a panel at the front. Metal bars slammed down
in the entry so that Happosai could view what happened, and so Kijo
couldn't escape. A strange gas poured out of a tank. Happosai quickly
donned a gas mask, a huge grin on his face.
***
Kijo felt the pressure points hit him like gunshots, and felt something
surge through him, something that scared him. Then, the gas entered his
nostrils, and his throat, and his mind did a somersault. He cried out in
terror as primal fear poured from his mind into every part of his body.
Whips, logs, and other blunt objects began swinging and jabbing and
twirling in every direction, immediately striking him down. The pain
felt incredibly amplified. But, he wasn't safe from them on the floor.
There was nowhere safe. Every square inch of space had something
blocking it, and he was bludgeoned helplessly. He screamed again as the
combination of unexplained fear and pain overpowered him.
The fear soon became tangible, however. He desperately wished it hadn't.
He could see his parents. They were gone. Forever. Locked in endless
torment. And pulling him down with them. There was Happosai. He was
Evil. He was the cause of all suffering, such suffering. Kijo was
damned. Damned. Life was over, death was impossible. There was only
torment. Nothing but torment. Endless pain. A scream unlike any he had
ever imagined burst from his lips. It rang with a terror so deep it
would have inspired sympathy in the cruelest of demons. He wished for an
end, a release, an escape from the torment...
And found it. He didn't know what it was, but it had to be better than
what he felt now. Anything could.
He remembered nothing more.
***
Happosai looked on apprehensively. All the boy had done was scream. How
was that supposed to teach a student? He absently flipped the book to
the next page.
*WARNING! Students taught this may not survive! In fact, we have had
only one report of this working in the past three hundred years! In this
rare case, the master was killed! It's bad either way! Do not attempt
this!*
Happosai shrugged and slapped the book shut. Just a little exaggeration,
right? His head snapped up as a new scream came from Kijo. It was unlike
anything he had ever heard before. He saw that blood dripped from his
mouth where he had sunk his teeth into his lips and tongue, and tears
practically poured from his eyes. Then, something changed.
All the features in Kijo's eyes blanked out. They looked no different,
but when one looked at them, they would find it impossible to
distinguish the pupils from the irises from the white. They would also
most likely forget that they were even looking at eyes, rather than
portals to nowhere.
The eyes still held the torment, but it was mixed with an incredible
rage. They were also glowing white.
Kijo hunched over, then his head flew backwards, his mouth opened in a
scream. The entire machine he was locked in crumbled and exploded,
leaving him standing with his legs wide, hunched over, and his hands
tensed up like claws.
Happosai grinned, his eyes wide. This was it! This was the Heart of the
Forgotten Soul!
Kijo leapt forward, his fingers outstretched, and sunk his hands into
the soil where Happosai had previously been standing. Happosai landed a
safe distance away and watched as the soil surrounding Kijo in a large
circle erupted. He wasted no time in turning on Happosai and charging
him, his arms flying out in all directions. Happosai launched himself
away and landed a good distance behind where Kijo stood. He blinked as
he noticed that the pipe he had struck Kijo with as he distanced himself
had crumbled.
Then, as one, geysers of soil erupted all over, nearby trees shattered,
and small plants flew from the ground and exploded like small, harmless
fireworks. Happosai stepped back, amazed. This was Kijo's full
potential? If this was true, he could train him to become the greatest
martial artist in the land, under him, of course. He was forced to
concentrate on the battle at hand as Kijo rushed him again.
Happosai leapt away again, but dropped several Happo-Fire Bursts behind.
He watched as the explosion carried Kijo into the air, then saw him
swing his arms down at him desperately. Kijo launched downwards at an
insane speed, surprising Happosai and giving him no time to dodge.
He heard and felt the soil eruption around him, and then he saw Kijo's
face. It was the closest he had ever come to being truly afraid.
It was his eyes that scared him the most. They had the look of someone
who wanted to destroy the planet in a single blow, and most likely
could. He could see hate, rage, despair, death, life, and terror all in
those eyes. To his surprise, tears still poured down Kijo's face.
Kijo pulled back his hand, as if he were about to poke him with all of
his fingers instead of punch him, and screamed. Happosai noticed, out of
the corner of his eye, that the nearby foliage was immediately uprooted.
As Kijo swung his hand towards Happosai's face, the air in front of his
palm seemed to collapse on itself repeatedly.
Happosai knew nothing more.
***
Ranma, Ryoga, and Thyme all turned as one to the boy strapped down to
the boulder. Kijo had a shocked expression on his face. His jaw worked a
little, then he shouted, "You're lying! You little goat, you're lying!"
Happosai sadly shook his head. "Nope, it's the honest-to-bra truth."
"The what?" Thyme asked, scratching his head, then smacked a fist into
his palm. "Oh yeah, I was supposed to get that jar!" He spun on Happosai
and jabbed a finger at him. "You! Return what you have stolen from the
Musk!"
"Musk? I don't smell any," Happosai said, looking around and sniffing.
"No, you idiot, I mean the Musk Dynasty!" Thyme growled.
"A musky what?" Happosai asked with an obviously confused expression on
his face.
Thyme snarled and held up the signboard with the Magic Vacuum drawn on
it. "The JAR, stupid!" he shouted.
"That's a dynasty?" Happosai asked scoffingly.
"NO! THAT'S WHAT YOU STOLE!!" Thyme screamed, spittle flying from his
mouth.
"Oh, you mean this?" Happosai asked innocently, holding a glass bottle
up.
Thyme gaped at him for a minute, then muttered to himself, "Easier than
I thought." He cracked his knuckles and glared down at Happosai through
narrowed eyes. "Alright, midget, now I will-"
Happosai casually flipped Thyme into the air with a bored expression on
his face. "Annoying inse-" He was cut off by Thyme's vertical return.
"AAAAUUUGGGHHH!!" Soun shouted, popping up. "Look at the floor!" Ranma
peered down into the crater.
"Did he die?" he asked hopefully. Soun brightened up upon hearing this
and jumped down to make sure.
"Master! You're not alive, are you?"
Ranma glanced briefly at Soun flying through the roof before sighing in
a disappointed manner. "Guess he lived."
Happosai bounded out holding the jar over his head. "You'll never get
it! Whatever it is! NYAH HAHAHAHAAAA!!" he shouted, sticking out his
tongue. Ranma booted him into a wall and snatched the jar.
"No way, old man, this thing's MINE!" he cried, leaping away. He was
stopped as Ryoga's umbrella smashed him upside the head.
"Not so fast, Ranma!" he growled, grabbing it from him.
"Hey!" Thyme shouted, grabbing Ryoga's ankles and slamming him into the
ground. "It belongs to me- I mean, the Musk!"
"Somebody untie me!" Kijo shouted mournfully, but was ignored.
***
"Finally..." Ranma muttered, gazing down at the precious bottle in his
hands. Thyme pulled himself over and flopped down on Ranma's toe. Ranma
immediately jumped up and started howling. "AAUUUGGHHH! GET OFF! GET
OFF!"
Thyme snatched the bottle and started to open it, but Ranma tossed him
out the door, where he smacked into Kijo's boulder, shattering it, and
sending them both into the pond. Ranma reached out for the bottle as it
spun through the air...
"Eh?" Genma said questioningly as the bottle fell into his hands. "Is
that... sake?" he asked no one in particular as he examined the liquid
inside the bottle. He shrugged and quickly popped the cork out. A
strange light erupted from the bottle and enveloped Genma before
disappearing back inside. Genma blinked at it, then replaced the cork.
"Must be sour."
He tossed it in Ranma's direction and ambled out of the room. Ranma
blinked. Thyme blinked. Ryoga groaned. Happosai waved at an airplane.
Ranma picked up the bottle and looked at its contents. The liquid was
sloshing around on its own, and an image began to form inside. A swirl
of black and white soon became.... a panda?
"HEY!" he shouted, jumping up. "He didn't get... cured, did he?" His
question was followed by faint noises from the kitchen:
*Splash* "Oops! I'm so sorry, Mis....ter... Sao... tome?"
"WOOHOO!!"
Ranma quickly tore the cork out of the neck. "NO! WAIT!" Thyme shouted,
too late. A blinding flash, and Ranma stood there with an eager
expression on his face. Slapping the cork back where it belonged, he
grabbed a nearby flower vase and upturned it over his head. Looking down
and seeing no breasts, he emitted a shout of... not quite joy.
"GROWF!"
"I tried," Thyme said, shrugging, then glanced down at the floor. "Man,
this is a pretty strong foundation..." *CRACK!* "Oh well." A sign
smacked him upside the head. He looked up to see an angry panda glaring
at him and waving signs around.
[WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!]
"You took his curse. It was sucked up by the bottle, now it's yours,"
Thyme explained, standing up.
[What about my other curse? The girl one?] Ranma asked with his signs.
Thyme responded by handing him the bottle. Ranma looked into it and saw,
to his surprise, the smoky image of a young girl floating in a spring.
[So that means that if I open it again...] He quickly yanked the top
off.
There was an invisible flash of light, followed by a silent loud noise,
combined with a nonexistent rush of power. All in all, a fancy way of
saying that nothing happened.
[I hate my life.] Ranma dropped gracelessly to the floor.
Just then, Ryoga quickly woke up, and saw the jar sitting unguarded on
the floor. He instantly leapt for it and tore the top off, shouting,
"I'm free of my curse!" After the light disappeared, he eagerly dumped a
glass of cold water on his head. He blinked and let out a whoop of joy
at realizing that he was human. Then he noticed Genma, in panda form,
stare at him for a second, then burst into laughter. He slowly looked
down at himself. Two large mounds of flesh looked back up at him. Two
large, firm, soft, round....
He dropped to the floor like a brick, albeit quite a feminine one, blood
trickling from his nose.
Ranma, still chuckling, poured water on himself from a kettle. "Well,
now I don't have to worry about that curse anymore..." he said happily,
then frowned. "So, it gives the curse inside to whoever opens it, but
you can't open it twice. And Pop is cured, so if he opened it now, it
would be empty. Which means," he concluded, standing up, "that I could
open it, and be cured!"
He didn't notice Ryoga come to, who happened to hear the whole thing.
*Ah HA,* he thought. *THAT'S the secret.* "So if my curse is in there
now, then the next person who opens it will get it," he said aloud. He
suddenly heard someone gasp. Whirling around, he found himself staring
into Akane's deep, beautiful eyes. He also observed that she held the
jay in one hand, and the cork in the other.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" he shrieked, jumping
backwards. As he did so, he bumped against a table, which held a flower
vase on its top. It swayed precariously for a second, then splashed its
contents all over Akane's head.
Ryoga stared in terror, horror, and fear at the small black piglet. *My
secret is out. Akane knows I'm P-chan. She has my curse. She knows I'm
P-chan. I'm dead. I'm very dead.*
Ranma smirked and dumped some hot water over the piglet's head, turning
the other way as he did so. Ryoga didn't think to look away, and soon
found him staring at... a very flat, unfeminine chest.
"Man, why didn't you tell me sooner?" Kijo grumbled, quickly slipping
his clothes back on. "Now I've got an even worse curse." He glanced up
at Ryoga. "What the hell's wrong with you?"
"Gasp... pant... wheeze... Oh, nothing.... pant... wheeze.." Ryoga
insisted, slapping his chest in a vain attempt to get his heart started
again. Ranma boggled at Kijo, then picked up the bottle. The image of
Akane floating in a spring appeared, then faded away.
"You're cursed with the spring of drowned Akane?" he asked, raising his
eyebrows.
"Well, I was," Kijo answered. "But now I'm a frickin' pig."
"But there's more to it," Ranma started to say, but was interrupted by
Happosai's return.
"Miss me?" he laughed, snatching the bottle away. "Now I'm thirsty, so
bugger off!" Cackling, he yanked the cork out. After the light faded
away, he blinked and replaced the cork. He noticed that he had gained
about four feet in height. He looked incredulously at the bottle and
asked, "What the heck are you ingrates trying to feed me, anyway?"
"Oh NO!" Ranma shouted, pointing at Happosai.
"Now HE'S got the spring of drowned Ak-" Kijo started, but Ryoga slapped
a hand over his mouth.
"SHH!" he shushed.
"What's that? Spring of drowned what?" Happosai asked, tipping a glass
of water over his head. After the transformation, he looked down at
himself. Two large mounds of flesh looked back up at him. Two large,
firm, soft, round.... "WOOHOO!!" she shouted, leaping into the air. "Now
I have complete control over Akane's body!"
Just then, Thyme dashed up and snatched the bottle. "Stop messing around
with it! It's dangerous!" As he spoke, he yanked the top off. After the
light faded away, he sighed in relief, feeling as if a ten-ton weight
had been lifted off of his shoulders. Which, actually, it had. Then, he
noticed the stares. He looked down at himself slowly. He didn't have to
look far.
"I'm a MIDGET!" he shouted angrily. Ranma, Kijo, Ryoga, burst into
laughter. Happosai squeezed her breasts.
Genma skipped into the room right then.
"I'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcured!" he sang merrily.
***
In the kitchen, Kasumi's hand slipped, and she cut the tip of her finger
ever so slightly. A pot fell to the floor with a clang, and the steam
coming out of the rice-cooker assumed the shape of Robin William's head.
"Bad omens," she muttered, reaching for the band-aids.
***
When the action had ceased, the dojo was a mess. Holes in the floor,
ceiling, and walls were everywhere. Happosai, Genma, Ranma, Ryoga,
Thyme, and Kijo all were lying on the floor in a heap, unconscious.
Mousse had shown up sometime, and was lying in the bottom of a crater.
Ranma groaned and sat up. He was at the top of the pile, and rolled off.
He observed that he was in Akane's form. He glanced into the crater and
saw a small pig poke its head out of Mousse's robes. Ryoga grumbled
something unintelligible and crawled out from under the pile, as a girl.
A duck jumped up and splashed itself with a nearby kettle, turning into
Happosai. Thyme sat up, seemingly curse-free. Genma tottered to his full
height, which happened to be roughly two feet. They all blinked, and
stared at each other.
"The bottle! Where is it?" Ryoga shouted, swiveling her head from side
to side.
Thyme sighed to himself. "Ahh... free of my burden..." he muttered
happily. Ranma dumped the water on himself, turning human. Then he got a
look at Genma, and burst out laughing.
"Quiet son! Have you no respect for your elders?!" Genma shouted, and
bit Ranma's ankle.
Mousse, now human, grabbed Ranma's shirt. "What is the meaning of all
this?" he demanded. Ranma brushed his hands off.
"Just some hocus-porkus, Mousse, nothing to worry about," he answered
nonchalantly. Mousse growled and launched a barrage of chains at him.
"How dare you insult me in such a manner, Saotome!" he shouted angrily.
Happosai looked down evilly at Genma's shrunken form, and jabbed a
finger at him, accompanied by an evil speech. "Eeeheeheeeheeehee hee heh
heh haaa...."
Kijo blinked, finding himself spread-eagle on the floor. And unable to
move. In fact, he felt downright crushed. "Hey guys?" he called,
receiving no answer. "Help?"
Everyone stopped what they were doing when they heard Thyme's chuckle.
He stood in a hole in the wall, holding the bottle in his hand. "I don't
need this anymore, but I imagine you all do!" He smirked, then leapt
over the wall.
"Hey, get back here!" Happosai shouted, running after him. "I want
Akane's form!"
"Oh no you don't!" Ranma shouted, stomping on his head and jumping over
the wall. The rest of the crowd immediately followed. Save Kijo.
"Heavy, dammit...." he groaned, struggling to get up. He blinked as he
saw Thyme sneak back in the dojo. He glanced around, then picked up his
shoe, which he had dropped. "Hey!" Kijo yelled as he turned to leave.
"What?" Thyme asked, turning around.
"Give me the jar!" Kijo demanded, squirming helplessly. Thyme looked
down at him, then laughed.
"Ah, so you've got my old curse, eh? Well, too bad for you. I lived with
it for 16 years, so don't complain to ME about it." He smirked and held
up the jay. "If you want it, take it." Kijo growled and stopped
struggling.
"If you insist..." he muttered, clenching his fists. Suddenly, a flash
of light surrounded him, and he leapt to his feet. All his clothing,
except for his boxers, had been burnt away, and he stood with a fire in
his eyes. Then he abruptly fell on his butt. Thyme laughed.
"No matter how little you wear, it still weighs an enormous amount. Too
bad!" Thyme said, chuckling.
"No matter..." Kijo growled, then flung his hand toward Thyme, and a red
rope of energy swung forward, smacking his wrist. He cried out and
dropped the bottle. Kijo lunged forward, barely managing to grab it. He
yanked the top off and felt the flash of energy pass over him.
As he triumphantly replaced the cork, Thyme suddenly shot his fist
forward, shattering the bottle. Kijo watched in shock as the strange
liquid poured all over his lap. Thyme smirked.
"No hope for you now," he said, stepping back. "When you are touched
with the liquid from the Vacuum, you are given an unalterable,
unchangeable curse. In most cases, it is hideous luck, but there are
others. And, with it destroyed, there's no way you can get rid of it."
Kijo stared down at his hands, which were covered in the sticky fluid.
His clothing curse was gone, he observed. But what of the new curse? An
incurable one? How would he deal with that? "You... bastard..." he
muttered, standing up slowly. "I challenge you!" he shouted, jabbing a
finger at him. "One week from now, at the stadium at Furinkan High!"
Thyme smiled at the challenge, and turned his back. "I'll be there."
Just then, the rest of the gang leapt back over the wall.
"There he is!"
"Get him!"
"Where's the bottle?!"
"I want Akane's bodyyyy!!!"
Kijo ignored them all, stalking off to find some clothes.
End chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
Thyme paced back and forth across the Tendo yard, pointing a stick at an
instructional board. "This is known as the Magic Vacuum," he stated,
pointing at a picture of a glass bottle.
"Isn't it a jar?" Ranma asked, confused.
Thyme smacked him over the head with the stick. "Of course! It sucks up
magic like a vacuum."
"Wait, isn't it an ancient artifact?" Ranma inquired.
"Of course!" Thyme answered matter-of-factly.
"Then why is it named after a modern item?" Ranma asked, folding his
arms across his chest.
"Anyway, it was last seen here in Japan, but the team looking for it had
it stolen from them," Thyme continued, ignoring Ranma and pointing at a
picture of a bunch of woeful Musk warriors. Ranma shook his head.
"Who stole it?" Kijo asked.
"No one knows his name, but we do have a picture." So saying, Thyme
flipped to the next page, which showed a picture of a small man with a
big head, half a head of hair, a small mustache, two horns, and a forked
tongue.
"Hey..." Ranma said, starting.
"Of course it would be that dirty old freak," Ryoga grumbled.
Kijo scratched his head. "You know, he kinda looks like Hap-" He
suddenly clamped his hand over his mouth and glanced around rapidly,
sweat practically flying from his brow.
"You know him?" Ranma asked, raising his eyebrows.
"NOOOOO!!!" Kijo screamed, his eyes suddenly turning bloodshot. He
looked around crazily, then took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.
"I mean, no, why do you ask?" he offered pathetically, smiling
sheepishly.
"Right, sure," Ranma said, not convinced, but didn't say anything else.
Ryoga, however, was more blunt.
"When did you meet him?" he asked curiously.
"Eh heh, heh, uh, uhm... er... I..." Kijo informingly answered. Ranma
rolled his eyes, but his curiosity was piqued.
"What, did he do something to you, too?" Seeing Kijo's frightened look,
he ventured, "Did he give you a Jusenkyo curse?"
Kijo shook his head rapidly, then took several very, very deep and very,
very ragged breaths. Ryoga smacked him on the back repeatedly, causing
Kijo to worry that his jaw was no longer connected to the rest of his
skull.
"I'm..." *thwack* "f..." *whack* "fi..." *thump* "I'M FINE ALREADY!" he
yelled, knocking Ryoga backwards. "Whatta ya tryin' ta do, break my back
or something?!"
"Aren't you supposed to do that when someone's choking?" Ryoga asked,
confused.
"NO!" Kijo yelled, his face turning red. "And that was HAGGARD
BREATHING!!"
"Well? How did you meet up with the old goat, anyway?" Ranma persisted.
"I'm telling you, I've never MET Happosai!" Kijo shrieked, his voice
shrill.
"Yeah," Ranma said, rolling his eyes, "we're really convinced now."
"Someone call my name?" Happosai asked, bounding over the wall with a
sack of lingerie over his shoulder.
"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Kijo shrieked, bolting off. Directly into the
wall.
"Okay, you old freak," Ranma growled, picking up Happosai, "What'd you
do to him?" Happosai innocently glanced at the boy imbedded in the wall,
then looked up at Ranma with puppy-dog-eyes.
"Who, me? How could you accuse such an INNOCE-" Ranma stomped him into
the ground before he could finish.
"Hey, Thyme," he said, gesturing to the fallen freak, "stand here for a
minute."
***
"Come on, Kijo, we just wanna know."
"GET BACK! I'LL NEVER TALK! ANTS TAKE YOUR EYES!" Kijo's own eyes were
bulging out of his sockets as a bit of foam dripped from the corners of
his mouth.
Ryoga sighed dejectedly. "He's gone completely crazy."
"You're probably right," Ranma agreed.
"Should he really be tied up?" Thyme asked. Kijo currently had 18 feet
of chain, 12 feet of rope, and 30 feet of 80 lb. Test fishing line
holding him to a boulder.
"Well, I wouldn't let a madman run loose in the streets," Ranma said
wisely, nodding his head. Suddenly he glanced at Happosai and coughed.
"What?" Happosai growled in an irritated manner. "Don't look at me like
that! YOU haven't just had your head reshaped into a breakfast sausage!"
He rubbed his badly bruised noggin for emphasis.
Thyme grumbled something unintelligible as he applied more salve to his
foot. "Nobody told me he was carrying bombs," he muttered, reaching for
the bandages.
"NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!! GET THOSE PLIERS AWAY!! KILL ME NOW!"
"This is really frustrating," Ryoga groused. "He's starting to get on my
nerves."
"Well, since HE'S obviously not going to tell us anything," Thyme said,
jabbing his thumb at Kijo, "I say we ask him." He pointed an accusing
finger at Happosai, who angrily lobbed a bomb at him. Thyme smacked in
aside.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!! MY NOSE IS GOING
TO IMPLODE!"
"Shut UP already!" Ryoga snarled, knocking Kijo unconscious.
"Thanks," Ranma muttered, snatching Happosai as he tried to sneak away.
"Now, old freak, what did you do to him?"
Happosai tossed Ranma aside and looked intently at Kijo's still form. He
circled him slowly clockwise, then counterclockwise, then closed his
eyes. Suddenly, his eyes snapped open. "Ah, yes, I remember!" he
exclaimed, smacking his fist into the palm of his other hand.
"What?" Ranma asked excitedly.
"I almost forgot," Happosai said, reaching into his pocket. "I got a new
bra for you, Ranma."
Ranma grabbed Thyme by that ankles and slammed him on Happosai.
"Hey!" Thyme shouted indignantly, kicking Ranma into the ceiling.
Ryoga peeled Happosai off the floor and folded him into an origami swan.
"Hey, that's pretty cool," Ranma said, peering down at it. Thyme nodded
his head in agreement. Kijo drooled.
"INFIEDELS!" Happosai shouted, leaping away to avoid the explosions he
left behind. He turned towards Kijo and announced, "I found the boy
years ago, in rags, wandering down the streets. Being the compassionate
sort, I asked him if he was lost. He told me how his parents had died
long ago, and how he was living on his own, at a tender age of five!
Naturally, I took him under my wing and trained him in the fine arts of
battle."
"LIAR!" Kijo shouted, snapping his head up. "I never saw you until I was
10!"
"At least he's somewhat rational," Thyme muttered.
"I found him being chased by a crowd of girls," Kijo explained. "I hit
him with a ki blast. After that, he was always following me, insisting
that I let him train me. Finally, I gave in. Then began my closest
experience to hell."
***
"What's taking him so long?" a young Kijo pondered, tapping his foot and
glancing at the door the old man had entered. Suddenly, the door flew
open and Happosai pulled him in.
"Just wait here, boy, and you'll receive your training soon," he said
before leaping out the window. Kijo looked around at the room, and his
eyes widened when he saw it was littered with lingerie. "Hurry!" he
heard Happosai call from outside. "There's an underwear thief in the
locker room!"
*A what?* he thought, confused. Suddenly, the door burst open and a
crowd of angry girls glared down at him. *Oh, no.*
"I want you to take as much as you can carry from that restaurant, or
you don't eat for a week!"
Kijo managed to steal plenty of food, as well as receive several
bruises, but not quite enough to satisfy Happosai's demand, which was
exactly equal to infinity minus one.
"What? Don't tell me that that hurts!"
Kijo whimpered from inside the contraption. He was surrounded by a web
of sticks and wires, any of which would trigger a huge amount of stones
to rain down on him should he so much as touch them. Meanwhile, Happosai
was pelting him with a never-ending supply of hot coals. "How much more
can you take? Hm? Well? Ooh, that must be painful!"
"Faster! I know you can pull this thing faster!" Happosai cackled from
his perch on top of a large cart which Kijo was frantically pulling. A
furious horde of villagers pursued them with pitchforks and rakes. Sweat
dripped from his brow, and his tongue lolled out of his mouth as he
panted heavily. Finally, he collapsed. "Oh well!" Happosai said with a
shrug, and leapt off the cart with a barrel of sake and a chunk of meat.
"Deal with them, okay?" Kijo whimpered and closed his eyes.
***
Ranma angrily slammed Thyme on top of Happosai again. "Will you STOP
that?!" Thyme shouted.
"Jeez, you old freak, he was only TEN when you did that?" Ranma
exclaimed.
Happosai stood up and shook his head. "He had a lot of potential, and I
burdened myself with the task of bringing it out of him. What did you
expect? Me to pamper him?"
Ranma grumbled something under his breath. Kijo cleared his throat
noisily. All signs of madness were gone, replaced by hate. And fear. "As
I was saying," he continued. "It all ended one day..."
***
Happosai gleefully stood in front of his latest creation, which was
truly a masterpiece. It stood roughly twenty feet tall, and had a small
room inside it that was viewable through the entryway. A mess of wires,
steel bars, and pipes snaked around its outside. The training manual had
stated that this technique would bring out a student's greatest ability.
Which was exactly what Happosai wanted.
Kijo stood off to the side, feeling truly terrified. The master's newest
training machine seemed to promise great amounts of pain.
Happosai beckoned Kijo closer, who hesitantly walked up with shaky
knees. Happosai jabbed at a few pressure points on Kijo while looking at
the manual, then tossed him into the entry of the machine. He began
flipping a few levers on a panel at the front. Metal bars slammed down
in the entry so that Happosai could view what happened, and so Kijo
couldn't escape. A strange gas poured out of a tank. Happosai quickly
donned a gas mask, a huge grin on his face.
***
Kijo felt the pressure points hit him like gunshots, and felt something
surge through him, something that scared him. Then, the gas entered his
nostrils, and his throat, and his mind did a somersault. He cried out in
terror as primal fear poured from his mind into every part of his body.
Whips, logs, and other blunt objects began swinging and jabbing and
twirling in every direction, immediately striking him down. The pain
felt incredibly amplified. But, he wasn't safe from them on the floor.
There was nowhere safe. Every square inch of space had something
blocking it, and he was bludgeoned helplessly. He screamed again as the
combination of unexplained fear and pain overpowered him.
The fear soon became tangible, however. He desperately wished it hadn't.
He could see his parents. They were gone. Forever. Locked in endless
torment. And pulling him down with them. There was Happosai. He was
Evil. He was the cause of all suffering, such suffering. Kijo was
damned. Damned. Life was over, death was impossible. There was only
torment. Nothing but torment. Endless pain. A scream unlike any he had
ever imagined burst from his lips. It rang with a terror so deep it
would have inspired sympathy in the cruelest of demons. He wished for an
end, a release, an escape from the torment...
And found it. He didn't know what it was, but it had to be better than
what he felt now. Anything could.
He remembered nothing more.
***
Happosai looked on apprehensively. All the boy had done was scream. How
was that supposed to teach a student? He absently flipped the book to
the next page.
*WARNING! Students taught this may not survive! In fact, we have had
only one report of this working in the past three hundred years! In this
rare case, the master was killed! It's bad either way! Do not attempt
this!*
Happosai shrugged and slapped the book shut. Just a little exaggeration,
right? His head snapped up as a new scream came from Kijo. It was unlike
anything he had ever heard before. He saw that blood dripped from his
mouth where he had sunk his teeth into his lips and tongue, and tears
practically poured from his eyes. Then, something changed.
All the features in Kijo's eyes blanked out. They looked no different,
but when one looked at them, they would find it impossible to
distinguish the pupils from the irises from the white. They would also
most likely forget that they were even looking at eyes, rather than
portals to nowhere.
The eyes still held the torment, but it was mixed with an incredible
rage. They were also glowing white.
Kijo hunched over, then his head flew backwards, his mouth opened in a
scream. The entire machine he was locked in crumbled and exploded,
leaving him standing with his legs wide, hunched over, and his hands
tensed up like claws.
Happosai grinned, his eyes wide. This was it! This was the Heart of the
Forgotten Soul!
Kijo leapt forward, his fingers outstretched, and sunk his hands into
the soil where Happosai had previously been standing. Happosai landed a
safe distance away and watched as the soil surrounding Kijo in a large
circle erupted. He wasted no time in turning on Happosai and charging
him, his arms flying out in all directions. Happosai launched himself
away and landed a good distance behind where Kijo stood. He blinked as
he noticed that the pipe he had struck Kijo with as he distanced himself
had crumbled.
Then, as one, geysers of soil erupted all over, nearby trees shattered,
and small plants flew from the ground and exploded like small, harmless
fireworks. Happosai stepped back, amazed. This was Kijo's full
potential? If this was true, he could train him to become the greatest
martial artist in the land, under him, of course. He was forced to
concentrate on the battle at hand as Kijo rushed him again.
Happosai leapt away again, but dropped several Happo-Fire Bursts behind.
He watched as the explosion carried Kijo into the air, then saw him
swing his arms down at him desperately. Kijo launched downwards at an
insane speed, surprising Happosai and giving him no time to dodge.
He heard and felt the soil eruption around him, and then he saw Kijo's
face. It was the closest he had ever come to being truly afraid.
It was his eyes that scared him the most. They had the look of someone
who wanted to destroy the planet in a single blow, and most likely
could. He could see hate, rage, despair, death, life, and terror all in
those eyes. To his surprise, tears still poured down Kijo's face.
Kijo pulled back his hand, as if he were about to poke him with all of
his fingers instead of punch him, and screamed. Happosai noticed, out of
the corner of his eye, that the nearby foliage was immediately uprooted.
As Kijo swung his hand towards Happosai's face, the air in front of his
palm seemed to collapse on itself repeatedly.
Happosai knew nothing more.
***
Ranma, Ryoga, and Thyme all turned as one to the boy strapped down to
the boulder. Kijo had a shocked expression on his face. His jaw worked a
little, then he shouted, "You're lying! You little goat, you're lying!"
Happosai sadly shook his head. "Nope, it's the honest-to-bra truth."
"The what?" Thyme asked, scratching his head, then smacked a fist into
his palm. "Oh yeah, I was supposed to get that jar!" He spun on Happosai
and jabbed a finger at him. "You! Return what you have stolen from the
Musk!"
"Musk? I don't smell any," Happosai said, looking around and sniffing.
"No, you idiot, I mean the Musk Dynasty!" Thyme growled.
"A musky what?" Happosai asked with an obviously confused expression on
his face.
Thyme snarled and held up the signboard with the Magic Vacuum drawn on
it. "The JAR, stupid!" he shouted.
"That's a dynasty?" Happosai asked scoffingly.
"NO! THAT'S WHAT YOU STOLE!!" Thyme screamed, spittle flying from his
mouth.
"Oh, you mean this?" Happosai asked innocently, holding a glass bottle
up.
Thyme gaped at him for a minute, then muttered to himself, "Easier than
I thought." He cracked his knuckles and glared down at Happosai through
narrowed eyes. "Alright, midget, now I will-"
Happosai casually flipped Thyme into the air with a bored expression on
his face. "Annoying inse-" He was cut off by Thyme's vertical return.
"AAAAUUUGGGHHH!!" Soun shouted, popping up. "Look at the floor!" Ranma
peered down into the crater.
"Did he die?" he asked hopefully. Soun brightened up upon hearing this
and jumped down to make sure.
"Master! You're not alive, are you?"
Ranma glanced briefly at Soun flying through the roof before sighing in
a disappointed manner. "Guess he lived."
Happosai bounded out holding the jar over his head. "You'll never get
it! Whatever it is! NYAH HAHAHAHAAAA!!" he shouted, sticking out his
tongue. Ranma booted him into a wall and snatched the jar.
"No way, old man, this thing's MINE!" he cried, leaping away. He was
stopped as Ryoga's umbrella smashed him upside the head.
"Not so fast, Ranma!" he growled, grabbing it from him.
"Hey!" Thyme shouted, grabbing Ryoga's ankles and slamming him into the
ground. "It belongs to me- I mean, the Musk!"
"Somebody untie me!" Kijo shouted mournfully, but was ignored.
***
"Finally..." Ranma muttered, gazing down at the precious bottle in his
hands. Thyme pulled himself over and flopped down on Ranma's toe. Ranma
immediately jumped up and started howling. "AAUUUGGHHH! GET OFF! GET
OFF!"
Thyme snatched the bottle and started to open it, but Ranma tossed him
out the door, where he smacked into Kijo's boulder, shattering it, and
sending them both into the pond. Ranma reached out for the bottle as it
spun through the air...
"Eh?" Genma said questioningly as the bottle fell into his hands. "Is
that... sake?" he asked no one in particular as he examined the liquid
inside the bottle. He shrugged and quickly popped the cork out. A
strange light erupted from the bottle and enveloped Genma before
disappearing back inside. Genma blinked at it, then replaced the cork.
"Must be sour."
He tossed it in Ranma's direction and ambled out of the room. Ranma
blinked. Thyme blinked. Ryoga groaned. Happosai waved at an airplane.
Ranma picked up the bottle and looked at its contents. The liquid was
sloshing around on its own, and an image began to form inside. A swirl
of black and white soon became.... a panda?
"HEY!" he shouted, jumping up. "He didn't get... cured, did he?" His
question was followed by faint noises from the kitchen:
*Splash* "Oops! I'm so sorry, Mis....ter... Sao... tome?"
"WOOHOO!!"
Ranma quickly tore the cork out of the neck. "NO! WAIT!" Thyme shouted,
too late. A blinding flash, and Ranma stood there with an eager
expression on his face. Slapping the cork back where it belonged, he
grabbed a nearby flower vase and upturned it over his head. Looking down
and seeing no breasts, he emitted a shout of... not quite joy.
"GROWF!"
"I tried," Thyme said, shrugging, then glanced down at the floor. "Man,
this is a pretty strong foundation..." *CRACK!* "Oh well." A sign
smacked him upside the head. He looked up to see an angry panda glaring
at him and waving signs around.
[WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!]
"You took his curse. It was sucked up by the bottle, now it's yours,"
Thyme explained, standing up.
[What about my other curse? The girl one?] Ranma asked with his signs.
Thyme responded by handing him the bottle. Ranma looked into it and saw,
to his surprise, the smoky image of a young girl floating in a spring.
[So that means that if I open it again...] He quickly yanked the top
off.
There was an invisible flash of light, followed by a silent loud noise,
combined with a nonexistent rush of power. All in all, a fancy way of
saying that nothing happened.
[I hate my life.] Ranma dropped gracelessly to the floor.
Just then, Ryoga quickly woke up, and saw the jar sitting unguarded on
the floor. He instantly leapt for it and tore the top off, shouting,
"I'm free of my curse!" After the light disappeared, he eagerly dumped a
glass of cold water on his head. He blinked and let out a whoop of joy
at realizing that he was human. Then he noticed Genma, in panda form,
stare at him for a second, then burst into laughter. He slowly looked
down at himself. Two large mounds of flesh looked back up at him. Two
large, firm, soft, round....
He dropped to the floor like a brick, albeit quite a feminine one, blood
trickling from his nose.
Ranma, still chuckling, poured water on himself from a kettle. "Well,
now I don't have to worry about that curse anymore..." he said happily,
then frowned. "So, it gives the curse inside to whoever opens it, but
you can't open it twice. And Pop is cured, so if he opened it now, it
would be empty. Which means," he concluded, standing up, "that I could
open it, and be cured!"
He didn't notice Ryoga come to, who happened to hear the whole thing.
*Ah HA,* he thought. *THAT'S the secret.* "So if my curse is in there
now, then the next person who opens it will get it," he said aloud. He
suddenly heard someone gasp. Whirling around, he found himself staring
into Akane's deep, beautiful eyes. He also observed that she held the
jay in one hand, and the cork in the other.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" he shrieked, jumping
backwards. As he did so, he bumped against a table, which held a flower
vase on its top. It swayed precariously for a second, then splashed its
contents all over Akane's head.
Ryoga stared in terror, horror, and fear at the small black piglet. *My
secret is out. Akane knows I'm P-chan. She has my curse. She knows I'm
P-chan. I'm dead. I'm very dead.*
Ranma smirked and dumped some hot water over the piglet's head, turning
the other way as he did so. Ryoga didn't think to look away, and soon
found him staring at... a very flat, unfeminine chest.
"Man, why didn't you tell me sooner?" Kijo grumbled, quickly slipping
his clothes back on. "Now I've got an even worse curse." He glanced up
at Ryoga. "What the hell's wrong with you?"
"Gasp... pant... wheeze... Oh, nothing.... pant... wheeze.." Ryoga
insisted, slapping his chest in a vain attempt to get his heart started
again. Ranma boggled at Kijo, then picked up the bottle. The image of
Akane floating in a spring appeared, then faded away.
"You're cursed with the spring of drowned Akane?" he asked, raising his
eyebrows.
"Well, I was," Kijo answered. "But now I'm a frickin' pig."
"But there's more to it," Ranma started to say, but was interrupted by
Happosai's return.
"Miss me?" he laughed, snatching the bottle away. "Now I'm thirsty, so
bugger off!" Cackling, he yanked the cork out. After the light faded
away, he blinked and replaced the cork. He noticed that he had gained
about four feet in height. He looked incredulously at the bottle and
asked, "What the heck are you ingrates trying to feed me, anyway?"
"Oh NO!" Ranma shouted, pointing at Happosai.
"Now HE'S got the spring of drowned Ak-" Kijo started, but Ryoga slapped
a hand over his mouth.
"SHH!" he shushed.
"What's that? Spring of drowned what?" Happosai asked, tipping a glass
of water over his head. After the transformation, he looked down at
himself. Two large mounds of flesh looked back up at him. Two large,
firm, soft, round.... "WOOHOO!!" she shouted, leaping into the air. "Now
I have complete control over Akane's body!"
Just then, Thyme dashed up and snatched the bottle. "Stop messing around
with it! It's dangerous!" As he spoke, he yanked the top off. After the
light faded away, he sighed in relief, feeling as if a ten-ton weight
had been lifted off of his shoulders. Which, actually, it had. Then, he
noticed the stares. He looked down at himself slowly. He didn't have to
look far.
"I'm a MIDGET!" he shouted angrily. Ranma, Kijo, Ryoga, burst into
laughter. Happosai squeezed her breasts.
Genma skipped into the room right then.
"I'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcuredI'mcured!" he sang merrily.
***
In the kitchen, Kasumi's hand slipped, and she cut the tip of her finger
ever so slightly. A pot fell to the floor with a clang, and the steam
coming out of the rice-cooker assumed the shape of Robin William's head.
"Bad omens," she muttered, reaching for the band-aids.
***
When the action had ceased, the dojo was a mess. Holes in the floor,
ceiling, and walls were everywhere. Happosai, Genma, Ranma, Ryoga,
Thyme, and Kijo all were lying on the floor in a heap, unconscious.
Mousse had shown up sometime, and was lying in the bottom of a crater.
Ranma groaned and sat up. He was at the top of the pile, and rolled off.
He observed that he was in Akane's form. He glanced into the crater and
saw a small pig poke its head out of Mousse's robes. Ryoga grumbled
something unintelligible and crawled out from under the pile, as a girl.
A duck jumped up and splashed itself with a nearby kettle, turning into
Happosai. Thyme sat up, seemingly curse-free. Genma tottered to his full
height, which happened to be roughly two feet. They all blinked, and
stared at each other.
"The bottle! Where is it?" Ryoga shouted, swiveling her head from side
to side.
Thyme sighed to himself. "Ahh... free of my burden..." he muttered
happily. Ranma dumped the water on himself, turning human. Then he got a
look at Genma, and burst out laughing.
"Quiet son! Have you no respect for your elders?!" Genma shouted, and
bit Ranma's ankle.
Mousse, now human, grabbed Ranma's shirt. "What is the meaning of all
this?" he demanded. Ranma brushed his hands off.
"Just some hocus-porkus, Mousse, nothing to worry about," he answered
nonchalantly. Mousse growled and launched a barrage of chains at him.
"How dare you insult me in such a manner, Saotome!" he shouted angrily.
Happosai looked down evilly at Genma's shrunken form, and jabbed a
finger at him, accompanied by an evil speech. "Eeeheeheeeheeehee hee heh
heh haaa...."
Kijo blinked, finding himself spread-eagle on the floor. And unable to
move. In fact, he felt downright crushed. "Hey guys?" he called,
receiving no answer. "Help?"
Everyone stopped what they were doing when they heard Thyme's chuckle.
He stood in a hole in the wall, holding the bottle in his hand. "I don't
need this anymore, but I imagine you all do!" He smirked, then leapt
over the wall.
"Hey, get back here!" Happosai shouted, running after him. "I want
Akane's form!"
"Oh no you don't!" Ranma shouted, stomping on his head and jumping over
the wall. The rest of the crowd immediately followed. Save Kijo.
"Heavy, dammit...." he groaned, struggling to get up. He blinked as he
saw Thyme sneak back in the dojo. He glanced around, then picked up his
shoe, which he had dropped. "Hey!" Kijo yelled as he turned to leave.
"What?" Thyme asked, turning around.
"Give me the jar!" Kijo demanded, squirming helplessly. Thyme looked
down at him, then laughed.
"Ah, so you've got my old curse, eh? Well, too bad for you. I lived with
it for 16 years, so don't complain to ME about it." He smirked and held
up the jay. "If you want it, take it." Kijo growled and stopped
struggling.
"If you insist..." he muttered, clenching his fists. Suddenly, a flash
of light surrounded him, and he leapt to his feet. All his clothing,
except for his boxers, had been burnt away, and he stood with a fire in
his eyes. Then he abruptly fell on his butt. Thyme laughed.
"No matter how little you wear, it still weighs an enormous amount. Too
bad!" Thyme said, chuckling.
"No matter..." Kijo growled, then flung his hand toward Thyme, and a red
rope of energy swung forward, smacking his wrist. He cried out and
dropped the bottle. Kijo lunged forward, barely managing to grab it. He
yanked the top off and felt the flash of energy pass over him.
As he triumphantly replaced the cork, Thyme suddenly shot his fist
forward, shattering the bottle. Kijo watched in shock as the strange
liquid poured all over his lap. Thyme smirked.
"No hope for you now," he said, stepping back. "When you are touched
with the liquid from the Vacuum, you are given an unalterable,
unchangeable curse. In most cases, it is hideous luck, but there are
others. And, with it destroyed, there's no way you can get rid of it."
Kijo stared down at his hands, which were covered in the sticky fluid.
His clothing curse was gone, he observed. But what of the new curse? An
incurable one? How would he deal with that? "You... bastard..." he
muttered, standing up slowly. "I challenge you!" he shouted, jabbing a
finger at him. "One week from now, at the stadium at Furinkan High!"
Thyme smiled at the challenge, and turned his back. "I'll be there."
Just then, the rest of the gang leapt back over the wall.
"There he is!"
"Get him!"
"Where's the bottle?!"
"I want Akane's bodyyyy!!!"
Kijo ignored them all, stalking off to find some clothes.
End chapter 4
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