Script for Baka Yaro (Semi-final Version)
Written by The Ryo-nator and Kenji Miyazawa
This story is exceedingly cheezy and rips off of many
fine anime and manga. It was posted here on the FFML a
long while back and I hope that you'll enjoy reading
it. Keep in mind that Kenji and I wrote this in 1997
and reworked it quite a bit since. But it is still a
draft. The bugs can be worked out with your help. Send
us C&C so we can make this a great work of literature.
Ryo - "baka1997@yahoo.com"
I haven't read this since Aug 31, 2000 ^_^
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Standard Disclaimer: Baka Yaro is owned by Fallout
Studios(tm). If you steal our stuff, Kenji will hunt
you down with his battle axe. Some cameos may appear
and we don't claim ownership of them. Please don't sue
us! We're too pathetic. Besides, immitation is the
best form of flattery. Right?
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STORY 01: The Cycle Begins
Chapter 1- Setting the Pace
The camera pans around the streets of a small suburb
in Tokyo, Japan. The camera stops and centers on a
house of substantial size. A wooden sign that reads
"Kyosuke Dojo" can be clearly seen. Voices can be
heard just inside the wall. A boy is standing in front
of the sign, with a large backpack on. He is wearing
a worn white martial arts gi without sleeves. His
unruly black hair and clothing mark him as a wanderer.
Boy: *Yep, this is the place. At last, the Kyosuke
dojo.* I'll be the best martial artist in the world
after I train under this guy.
Voice: Better than the mighty Kirin? Ha!
Inconceivable!
The boy looks up to see a large teenage male with a
bag of groceries in hand.
Large boy: Ha! Thou seemest hungry. Perhaps a knuckle
sandwich will quench thy hunger.
Boy: God I hate crappy puns. (clutches his stomach)
The larger boy is about to attack when a woman's
scream is heard.
Voice: Do I hear a fight?
The three are suddenly covered in a shadow as a figure
leaps through the air and lands in front of them. The
youth is smaller than both of the combatants are. He
looks at them menacingly with shadows over his face.
The shadows move and it is revealed that he has a
large goofy grn on. It is alsao revealed that he has
a pair of panties on his head. He carries a large pack
with porno mags and various women's underwear sticking
out.
Yet another voice: Stop you pervert!!
Boy: Wha--?
All of them turn to see another boy with a yard long
braid and a bamboo sword, who advances on the pervert.
The boy is wearing a chinese outfit and a maoist cap.
While handsome, he looks almost feminine.
Boy with sword: How dare you--
The gate to the dojo opens and an old man in a martial
arts gi is standing before them.
Old man: What is going on here?
Boy: Are you master Kyosuke?
Old man: The same.
All of them stop and turn to him, bowing at the same
time.
All: I have come to train under--
They all look at each other.
Kyo: Well, I would love to train all of you, but
family tradition requires me to only train two
students. And I'm already training my grandson,
Hiroshi, so only one of you will be able to train.
Large boy: In that case, the obvious choice is the
mighty Kirin!
Pervert: Who?
Boy: Woah, wait a minute, It'll be me!
Swordsman: For what?
Kyo: Woah, woah! Before you guys beat the crap out of
each other, I think I need some introductions.
Boy: My name is Shin Hideoshi, heir to the Hideoshi
family dojo.
Large boy: The mighty Kirin Oda is pleased to meet
you.
Swordsman: My name is... uhhh... oh yeah. Tatchi
Kotobuki... I think.
Pervert: Ryo at your service. I have come to train
under you.
Shin: No you're not.
Shin cracks his knuckles as the four advace towards
each other. Suddenly several female voices are heard
yelling.
Girl1: Pervert! Give us our panties back!
Girl2: Hey! Who is that cute guy in the white?
Shin looks around.
Shin: Hey! Where's Ryo? AHHHHHHHHH!!!
Shin runs directly into a wall as a mass of women
surge toward him. He shakes his head, then smashes
through it and collapses. The women sprint through
the alley. After they pass, Ryo sticks his head out
of a garbage can that looks far too small to fit him.
He is videotaping the girls running from behind with a
mini-camcorder. Shin staggers to his feet and shakes
his head. Kyosuke is holding a bottle of sake and
watching with intrest.
Kyo: A little shy around girls, eh?
Shin attempts to attack, but falls to the ground
halfway there.
Tatchi: (to Ryo) I got half a mind to deliver you to
those girls bound and gagged.
Ryo: You don't have half a mind period.
Kyo: I think you'd better all come inside.
(Blackout. Cut to inside dojo 15 minutes later. Shin
looks like hell with bruises and bandages. The girl is
in the kitchen.)
Kyo: (Holding a bottle of sake, red-faced) As you know
I am the best martial artist in the world...
Shin: (Whispers) And he's modest, too.
Kyo: ...people throughout Japan and the rest of the
world have come to train under me. I would love to
train them all but tradition and family law require
that I only train two people at once... (Continues
mumbling while Ryo thinks...)
Ryo: *Gee, how interesting, I wonder if he knows that
no-one is listening.* (Sees the stack of porno
magazines on the chair.) *Wow! Look at all of those
women! That guy has a better porno collection then I
do!*
Ryo starts drooling, The rest are half asleep. Shin
scratches the back of his head, Kirin yawns.)
Kyo: So as you see, it was in 1969 that we--
Ryo starts panting.
Tatchi: Uhh... aren't we here for a reason? What was
it again?
Kyo: Are you guys listening?
Tatchi: Uhh.. could you run that by me again?
Everyone gives Tatchi an "If looks could kill" glare.
Tatchi: Ummm... Hehe, never mind.
Shin: This is all exceedingly interesting (Yawns) but
when are we going to start training?
Kyo: As I said, I can only pick one of you to train
here. Who's it gonna be?
They are interrupted as a young woman enters the room
with tea.
Kyo: Allow me to introduce my lovely granddaughter
Azusa. Which unnya wants to marryer?
Azusa: You're drunk again, grandfather.
Kyo: That's enuff, you gobactathe kitchen.
As Azusa passes Ryo, he casually grabs her ass.
Before Tatchi's sword is halfway out, Ryo is knocked
to the ground by a massive hammer wielded by Azusa.
Kyo: So anyway, who's it gonna be? Who's gonna train
here?
Everyone looks at each other.
Kirin: I think the obvious choice is Kirin the
Magnificent!!!
Shin: Will you stop glorifying yourself you
insignificant bastard! It's gonna be me!!
Ryo: Shut up!! I'm going to be training here!!!
Tatchi: What are we talking about again?
Shin: It's obvious we should leave him out, he can't
even remember why he's here!
Tatchi: Hey!!
Kirin: Let us take this outside.
All race outside to tha backyard and get into a
square, facing each other.
Kirin: Kirin is going to teach you miserable curs a
lesson you'll never forget!!
Shin: Quit your yappin' you arrogant piece of crap!
Ryo: I'm gonna take you both out, then go back inside
and... hehe...(Pictures Azusa in his head)
Tatchi: Lets get to it!! (Draws sword)
Shin: Finally! So far, every fight in the manga has
been interrupted. We finally actually get to fight!!
All get into battle stances. Tatchi takes a swing at
Kirin, who easily dodges but gets kicked in the back
by Shin. Kirin gets up and punches at Ryo, who
effortlessly dodges the punch, flips, and kicks Kirin
into a conveniently placed pond. Ryo laughs, then
finds a conveniently placed boulder atop his head,
thrown by a very wet Kirin. Tatchi is busy dodging
Shin's punches and kicks, with no time to take a
return strike with his sword. He takes a few swings
and gets punched in the jaw. Kirin and Ryo are busy
attacking each other with a flurry of punches and
kicks. Shin appears behind them, and smacks their
heads together. They recover and attack Shin
savagely. Kirin manages a kick to the stomach,
doubling Shin over.
Ryo: FIELD GOAL KICK!!!
Ryo backs up and punts Shin high in the air, over the
wall and into the neighbors yard. Scene cuts to
neighbors yard. A middle aged man comes out, sets up a
lawn chair and umbrella and pulls out a bottle.
Man: Ahhh! Mango juice!!
The man is immediately slammed into by Shin, who gets
up, and jumps over the fence screaming "I'll get
you!!" Juice is spilled all over the lawn, The man is
folded up in the chair.
All four fighters are sweating and breathing hard but
decide to keep fighting. They all jump together and
fight in a cloud of smoke for about fifteen seconds,
cloud moves all over the yard.
Ryo: None of you are gonna stop me. Hahahahaha!
Ryo tosses out some grenades which explode before
anyone can get away, Ryo included. White out for a few
seconds. There is a large crater taking up most of the
screen, all four fighters are lying in it, unconscious
and blackened. Kyo's grandson, a boy a little younger
than them, starts laughing uncontrollably.
Kyo: Hiroshi, you shouldn't laugh like that, it isn't
polite.
Hiroshi continues laughing, spewing out phrases such
as "Look at 'em!", "What chumps!" and "Look at 'em
struggle!",
All four fighters get up, no longer blackened, they
look at each other, then look at Hiroshi
threateningly. Hiroshi pays no heed and continues
laughing.
Shin: Shut Up! Dammit!
Ryo: Yeah, what he said.
Hiroshi: DAAAAAAAA HAA HAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hiroshi raises head to see the four fighters advancing
threateningly on him, wipes tears from his eyes and
stands.
Hiroshi: Do you really think you can beat me in your
weakened state? You guys have used all of your
strength on each other, so you don't stand a chance
against me.
Ryo: Let's get him!
Kirin: Kirin will punish this puny weakling!
The four surround the confident young martial artist
and attack in a daze. Hiroshi jumps and kicks Kirin
in the jaw, following it with a punch to the stomach
and a swift kick to the face. He ducks under Shins
punch from behind, Shin punches Kirin instead. Kirin
falls to the ground, unconscious.
Shin (shakes head): Fast little piece of shit.
Tatchi attacks with a blind swing. Hiroshi dodges it
easily. The swing heads for Ryo instead. Ryo dodges,
but curses Tatchi for his clumsiness. Hiroshi kicks
Ryo in the stomach while he is cursing and dodges
Tatchi's sword swing from behind, spinning around and
catching Tatchi in the face with a kick. Shin dives
for Hiroshi, Hiroshi jumps up and lands on Shin's
head, driving Shin's head into the ground. Tatchi and
Ryo both charge at Hiroshi, Hiroshi jumps up and over
the two. They collide, sending both into dreamland.
Stars encircle both combatants heads. Kirin gets up
and looks at Hiroshi, dazed. Hiroshi backs up.
Hiroshi: You woke up pretty quick.
Hiroshi thrusts his hand forwards into Kirin's chest.
Kirin looks down at the point of impact and falls
straight backwards.
Hiroshi: That was it? I didn't even break a sweat!
(Tries to conceal his heavy breathing.)
Hiroshi starts laughing again. The martial arts
master takes him inside, leaving the four fighters
outside, unconscious.
Morning arises, the sun rises over the four
unconscious warriors. Shin takes his head out of the
ground and yawns. All of them rise and rub their
heads.
Tatchi: Where are we? What are we doing? WHY ARE WE
HERE?!?!?
Shin: Shut the hell up.
Kirin: Oh yeah! Kirin cannot believe he lost to that
stupid bastard!!!
Tatchi: Who?
Ryo: Oh yeah!! I have to kill that stupid piece of
shit!! And take his sister... hehe...
Shin: I know, let's kidnap him and knock him out! Then
we can beat him!
Tatchi: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU BASTARDS TALKING
ABOUT?!!!!!
Kirin: Kirin has just the right thing!!
Shin: We'll deal with that little brat!
Tatchi: Beating up a kid? Where's the honor in that?
Kirin pulls out a bottle.
Kirin: This shall knock that youth out cold!
Ryo: Let's do it!!
Tatchi: What are we talking about again?
Ryo: Chalk one more up for Tatchi's memory.
Tatchi: Shut up!! My memory is fine! I won't have
anything to do with this.
Shin: Guys, lets go.
They slip into the dojo and come back out with the kid
tied up and gagged. They take him out in the yard.
Ryo pulls out a candy bar and dumps the liquid on it.
Ryo: Hey kid, want some candy? Eat it!
Ryo force-feeds the chocolate bar to Hiroshi.
Shin: By the way, Ryo, how much did you use?
Ryo: I followed the instructions and gave him a pint.
Shin: WHAAAAAAAAAT?
Kirin: A pint? Kirin thinks that says a "pinch."
They all look at Hiroshi, who has passed out and
turned green.
Ryo: Oops...
Shin: We wanted to knock him out, not kill him.
Kirin: Oh well. One less brat in the world.
Shin: What?! We need to get him to a hospital!
They pick up Hiroshi and carry him to the hospital.
Several days later...
Shin and the others are at the hospital with Master
Kyosuke. He is drunk again and raving about how
dishonorable it is to sneak up on someone and poison
him.
Kyo: It was probably some dishonorable assassin sent
to kill my grandson by poison. Do any of you know who
did this?
All look sheepish and guilty. They mumble "no's"
Shin: Perhaps it was a rival dojo. (Laughs nervously)
Kyo: Well, when I'm done training whoever it is I'm
training, we'll have revenge.
Ryo: Well we all know who that is going to be.
Kirin: Of course. The mighty Kirin will prevail.
(Laughs arrogantly.)
Shin: Get real!! I'm going to win!!
Tatchi: I don't remember why we're fighting, but I'll
do it!!
Tatchi draws sword and all assume battle stance. All
jump into the middle of the room and battle in a dust
cloud.
Kyo: STOP!!!!
They freeze. Shin is holding onto Kirin's neck, Kirin
has fist drawn back to punch Shin.
Ryo has a staff resting on Tatchi's head, Tatchi has
his sword to Ryo's throat. Hiroshi moans. Kyo looks at
them for a moment, then shakes his head.
Kyo: If you are going to do this, do it outside!
Ryo: Let's go!!
Kirin: The mighty Kirin will punish thee!!
All run out the door.
Hiroshi comes to, and is no longer green.
Kyo: Are you all right? Do you need some air? How bout
some alcohol?
Master Kyosuke opens a window. Fighting sounds are
heard once he opens it.
"Take that fiend!" is faintly heard in Kirin's voice.
Kyo: I can't believe they're doing it again.
Hiroshi: Grandpa?
Kyo: Hiroshi? Who did this to you?
Hiroshi: *I shouldn't tell him that I was poisoned by
the guys or else he'll punish me from being caught off
guard so easily by such screw ups.* I didn't see him,
grandpa. He caught me while I was asleep.
Kyo: Damn those rival dojos! (slams bottle down on
table) Let's see how those idiots are doing.
Kyosuke goes to the window and looks out. All of the
fighters are laying on the ground with cans and
garbage all around them. Shin bolts to his feet and
runs away screaming as a mob of women chase him.
Ryo: Why should he have all the luck? (Takes off
running after the women)
Shin runs across again, screaming. Followed by the mob
of women... and Ryo.
Shin: Help me!! What did I do to deserve this?
Scene cuts back to hospital room.
Hiroshi: Are those guys fighting again?
Kyo: Yup. They really want the position.
Scene cuts back to the street. Tatchi and Kirin are
standing up. Shin runs across the screen again, his
shirt torn and in his polka-dot boxer shorts. Mob of
women run by, one women carrying pieces of Shin's
shirt, another with his pants.
Shin: AHHHHH!!! I'm getting tired!!
Everyone laughs at him.
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The four warriors are at dinner with Hiroshi and
Master Kyosuke. They are eating rice. Finally, there
is only one helping of rice left. Ryo reaches for it,
when his hand is smacked by a bamboo sword.
Tatchi: Hands off, buddy, this rice is mine!
Tatchi takes the bowl of rice. Ryo whacks Tatchi with
his staff.
Ryo: Over my dead body!
Shin: That could be arranged, give me that rice.
Kirin: This rice belongs to the mighty Kirin!
Kirin takes the rice bowl and is about to eat it. Shin
punches him in the head and takes it.
Kirin: Unhand that at once you fiend!
All four dive into a battle.
Hiroshi: Do they fight over everything?
Kyo: It appears that way.
Hiroshi calmly reaches into the battle and pulls out
the rice. Ryo is in the middle of hitting Tatchi over
the head with his staff.
Hiroshi: Want some, grandpa? (Holds out the rice.)
Kyo: Nope, you go ahead.
Hiroshi eats some rice and makes a face.
Hiroshi: This rice is cold. Here you go, Furball.
(Throws the bowl of rice down to a little white cat,
who eats it.)
Furball: Meow!
The fighting goes on, oblivious of all other factors.
Hiroshi calmly stands up, wipes his face, and
wordlessly jumps into the battle. Scene cuts to
outside. Door opens and Ryo, Shin, Kirin, and Tatchi
fly outside and land on the ground.
Kyo: Thank you. I was worrying that they would destroy
the house.
Hiroshi: They must be getting better, I'm actually
sweating.
Kyo: (thinking) *Hiroshi only fights them when they
are tired and weakened. At full strength they could
easily beat him.*
Outside...
They all get up and look at the door.
Shin: You know what? We should kill that little kid.
Ryo: Yeah, then two of us will be able to train under
Master Kyosuke.
Kirin: Of course those two will be the benevolent
Kirin and the perverted one.
Ryo: Hey! I'm more than MERELY perverted, okay?
Tatchi: To do what?
Shin: Yo, are we gonna take that from that arrogant
bastard and that perverted freak!
Kirin: Hold thy tounge, retched cur!!
Shin: Hey!! I ain't no retchd whatever you said!!
Kirin: Prepare yourself!!
Shin: We'll do it Tag team style! Tatchi, you're in
first!
Kirin: I shall handle this situation and come to you
if I must perverted one.
Tatchi and Kirin advance to the middle of the yard.
Kick-ass battle music starts playing. Tatchi pulls out
his bamboo sword.
Kirin: Thou shalt be punished!
Tatchi: Let's see what you got you arrogent jerk!!
Kirin: Prepare to defend thyself!
Kirin charges to attack Tatchi. Punches at his head.
Tatchi dodges to the side effortlessly and eventually
jumps behind Kirin, delivering a kick to the side of
Kirin's head. Kirins head is knocked into the ground
but he rises, unharmed. Kirin delivers many punches
and kicks, that are dodged by the swordsman. Tatchi
suddenly falls over, revealing Ryo with his staff
behind him.
Tatchi: Hey! That's cheating!
Ryo: Cry about it Fem-Boy.
Tatchi gets up and starts blocking and dodging punches
from Kirin and staff strikes from Ryo. He begins to
sweat heavily.
Tatchi: Get in here Shin!!
Shin: That would be cheating. I refuse to lower myself
to their level.
Tatchi: I can't dodge these guys forever!!
Tatchi dissapears just as Ryo strikes with his staff,
hitting Kirin instead. Tatchi reappears beside Shin
and tags him. "Your turn" Tatchi says. Shin cracks
his knuckles and jumps in. He lands a punch on the
still staggering Kirin, knocking him over. He staggers
to his feet. Ryo swings his staff at Shin, hitting
him in the back of the leg. Shin backflips over Ryo
and knees him in the kidney. Kirin runs at Shin.
Shin turns in time to recieve a punch in the gut by
Kirin, staggering him. Ryo hits Shin in the other
side with his staff. Kirin lands a punch to the jaw
and a kick to the stomach.
Tatchi: Have you no honor? This is an unfair battle.
Tatchi jumps in just as Ryo raises his staff to
strike. Ryo is tackled by Tatchi.
Tatchi: You're not supposed to be in here you cheater!
You're going to the penalty box!!
Ryo gets up in time to get his staff kicked away and
punched in the jaw. Tatchi jumps back to his corner.
Meanwhile, Shin has recovered and is standing in his
fighting stance. He exchanges blows with Kirin and
catches a jumpkick and throws him to the ground.
Hiroshi, who is watching, yawns.
Hiroshi: This is boring.
Hiroshi stands up and sends a flying kick to Kirin's
head. Kirin flys into a tree, hitting his head, hard.
He falls down, unmoving. Ryo jumps in, grabs Hiroshi
and throws him at a boulder. Hiroshi rebounds off the
rock with his feet and flys back at Ryo. Ryo dodges
the flying kick and Hiroshi lands on his feet. Tatchi
finally jumps in, readies his sword and jumps at
Hiroshi. Tatchi strikes several times, Hiroshi barely
dodges all of them and manages a kick to Tatchi's
genitalia, doubling him over, but Shin comes up behind
Hiroshi and kicks him in the head, sending him flying
into a rock, which he rebounds off of and lands,
slightly staggered. Shin picks up a big boulder and
throws it at Hiroshi.
Hiroshi: Oh yeah?
Hiroshi uses the same open palmed attack as before,
disintegrating the rock and flinging Shin into a tree,
which falls down into the next yard. Cut to the other
yard.
Old Man: Ahhh... Mango juice!!
Old Man is abruptly cut off as the tree hits him and
shatters the bottle of juice. Cut to the battle. Shin
is on the ground, out cold. Ryo punches down at
Hiroshi, who dodges it and kicks Ryo into the air. Ryo
flys out of sight. Tatchi is laying on the ground,
moaning and clutching his manhood. Kirin gets to his
feet.
Kirin: (Rubbing his head) That's it! I'm gonna teach
you a lesson, you little punk!!
Hiroshi: (Stares at Kirin) *He's not speaking in third
person!! It must have been the blow to his head!*
Kirin: *Ahhh.. the bastard's dropped his guard!*
Prepare to die!!!!!
Kirin runs at Hiroshi and punches. Hiroshi manages to
dodge it, but gets pulled into a belly-to-belly
suplex. Hiroshi rolls and staggers to his feet and
Kirin sinks to his knees and passes out from sheer
exaustion with a large bump on his head.
Meanwhile, in east Tokyo, Ryo is running full speed
(which is pretty damn fast.) back towards the dojo
while dodging cars and people.
Ryo: *I'll get that little brat!*
Back at the dojo, Shin has regained his senses and has
assumed his battle stance. He disapears for a second
and reapears in front of Hiroshi and executes a spear.
Hiroshi takes it and knees Shin in the face. Shin
lands and is out cold again. Tatchi staggers to his
feet, using his sword to stablize himself.
Tatchi: I ain't through yet.
Tatchi attacks with renewed strength and manages a few
hits before he too uses all his energy. He falls to
the ground unconcious as well. Hiroshi sighs and looks
at the fallen warriors.
Hiroshi: Well that's all of them.
Ryo: Not exactly little man!! I'm back!
Hiroshi: I thought I got rid of you.
Ryo: Better luck next time kid. Take this!
Hyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
Ryo attacks Hiroshi with a speed that puts anyone to
shame. Hiroshi manages to block about 10% of the
punches and kicks. Hiroshi staggers backward into a
defensive position.
Ryo: Let's end this now Ok? *I don't have much left.
One more attack and I'm through.*
Ryo tosses out grenades. Hiroshi mangages to flip back
and away from the blast. Ryo, however, is too tired
and is hit by his own attack.
The ground explodes and a huge crater is formed with
an unconcious Ryo in it. Hiroshi falls to his knees.
He looks pretty beat up and is breathing hard while
struggling to stay concious.
Hiroshi:* wow! I've never taken such a beating. Those
guys are much stronger than they used to be.*
The next morning everyone wakes up in the dojo. They
seemed to have fully recovered but they are still
depressed with the fact that they lost.
Shin: So damn close.
Kirin: Too true.
Ryo: Yeah.
Tatchi: We won't loose again.
Ryo: You remember?!
Tatchi: How could I forget that battle.
Kyo walks into the room with a huge tray of food.
Everyone's mouths water. Kyo serves the food.
Shin: Where's Hiroshi?
Kyo: Asleep. You boys did quite a number on him. He
barely made it into the house before passing out. You
boys are a lot stronger than when you first arrived.
Also, I'm going to train Hiroshi harder. He seems to
have been slacking off a bit.
Shin: (sarcastically) What was he thinking?
Ryo: (evilly) Yeah. We'll beat some sense into him.
Kyo: Perhaps...
All: All right. Pay back time!
Shin: You do realize that I came closest to beating
the kid.
Kirin: Yeah, right!! The amazing Kirin came closest to
making an end to that delinquent little shit!!
Tatchi: What are we talking about again?
Kirin: Kirin is the greatest warrior of all time!! He
is the king of martial arts!
Ryo: (Whispers to Shin) I think it's about time for
this king to be dethroned.
Shin nods silent agreement. They both get evil grins
on. Kirin is still ranting about how great he is.
Shin: (Whispers to Ryo): Go get the duct tape, I'll
get Kirin. Ready, and... NOW!!
Ryo is seen as a blur going to the drawer and taking
the tape out.
Kirin: What are you--
Shin: Prepare to die you arrogent piece of crap!!!
Shin jumps at Kirin. His punch is blocked and Kirin
punches at Shin, Shin dodges.
Kirin: Curse you you fi--
Kirin is cut off by Ryo putting the duct tape on
Kirins mouth. Ryo then proceeds to wrap it all around
Kirin's head until only the eyes are seen.
Kirin: Mmmmpphhh.. Mph!!
They all pile outside and proceed to fight savagely.
Kyo: Boy did they recover fast. They're already
fighting at almost full strength. You feel like
joining in?
Hiroshi: Oh man. I feel like I've been run over by a
freight train. What? You want me to fight them? Not
now. I'm still recovering.
Kyo: Would that you had their endurance.
Hiroshi: Yeah, well I took 'em all on at once.
Kyo: They also haven't trained under me for seven
years.
Hiroshi: If I was as old as they were, I'd take them
out back and beat them within an inch of their
miserable lives.
Kyo: Well, you're not. So get yourself into the dojo
and train harder than you've ever trained before
because these guys are going to pass you up in skill
if you don't dig down and train. I'll be there in a
minute.
Hiroshi: Okay Grandpa. (Exit)
Kyo: *Man, these guys are really improving fast.
It'll be tough to decide which one is the best. Maybe
I could break tradition and take them all. No, I can't
do that. I'll just have to decide.*
Scene cuts to the fight just as all of them are
beating each other.
Later...
It was a peaceful Monday morning. Of course that peace
lasted until sounds of bitter combat could be heard
from a certain dojo. They were at it again. Shin and
the others woke up at 5 am to practice. Now Kyo had
woken up and was watching them fight.
Kyo:* They do this every morning since they arrived.
They must really want me to train them...*
Master Kyo's thoughts were interrupted by a loud
explosion followed by several yells. Kyo aproaches the
four fighters.
Kyo: How old are you boys?
Tatchi: 16... I think.
Ryo: 16
Kirin: Kirin is 17.
Shin:(looks at the ground) I have no idea.
All: Nani?!
Kyo: You don't know when you were born?
Shin: Nope. I never had birthdays. I spent my entire
childhood training.
Kirin: Oh.
Ryo: Is there anyone who might know? Your parents
maybe?
Shin's eyes narrow and he glares at Ryo.
Shin: (sharply) My parents aren't alive anymore.
Ryo: Sorry
Kyo: Never mind. Have any of you been to school?
All: A little.
Kyo: Well then. I'll have to send you to the high
school.
Everyone's jaws drop.
Shin: W-what?
Ryo: School? You mean like normal people?
Tatchi: Oh man.
Kirin: Kirin does not need schooling. Kirin is a
martial artist.
Shin, Ryo and Tatchi: Yeah! We ain't goin'.
Kyo: If you don't go, I won't train you.
Ryo: (immediatly)Race you guys to school.
Shin: You're on.
All 4 of them rush off towards the school. While Kyo
watches them.
Kyo: I doubt that was a very good idea, but it'll keep
down the damage around here.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shin: I wonder what this new school is going to be
like.
Ryo: I hope it has lots of girls.
Shin: Figures you'd say that. That's just what I don't
need.
Kirin stops suddenly, looking at a large tank being
polished by a man in military garb with a flat top.
Tatchi stumbles into the suddenly unmoving Kirin.
Kirin: Watch where thou art going, cur!
Tatchi: You stopped!
Shin: Now guys, we don't have to fight... oh, wait a
minute, yeah we do!
Kirin: Be silent, knave, thou wilt have thy turn after
Kirin the Great deals with this pest.
Shin: Who are you calling a knave?
Tatchi: Who are you calling a pest?
Ryo: Oh boy! A fight!
Tatchi: Shut up, hentai.
Ryo: Make me Fem-boy.
They all jump into a huge brawl. Ryo and Tatchi are
clashing staff and sword when Kirin grabs Shin by the
waist and throws him into a wall. Shin rebounds off
of the wall and back at Kirin, fist glowing with ki.
Kirin is knocked directly into the tank. The man
looks down at Kirin as he gets up, then at the dent in
his tank.
Man: You... dented my tank!! I just waxed it! You will
all pay!!
They all stop.
Ryo: What's he talking about?
Man: Gunner! Get into the tank!
The man jumps into the tank, followed by a kind of
skinny guy, also in military garb.
Man: Gunner! Man the overhead machine gun! I'll take
control of the main cannon!
Gunner: Sir!
Meanwhile, The others have resumed their fight,
heedless of the twenty ton panzer swiveling to face
their direction.
Man: Preparing to fire the main gun!
There is a flash of light as a shell flies at the
warriors.
Tatchi: What the...
They all dive out of the way as a shell detonates in
their midst.
Man: Damn! Gunner! Take them out!
Gunner: My pleasure!
Gunner swivels the machine gun toward Ryo and begins
firing. Ryo dodges the stream of bullets and runs
along a wall with the stream of bullets following.
Shin and Tatchi hit the deck as the stream passes over
them. Kenzan jumps over the stream and Kirin also
ducks. The stream continues to follow Ryo as the
others prepare to attack.
Ryo: You bastard! What the hell is your problem?!
Ryo jumps at the tank, flipping and spinning in mid
air. He lands a perfect flying kick to Gunner's jaw.
Gunner flies off to the side. Ryo jumps off the tank
andpulls out handfuls of grenades. He rebounds off a
wall back toward the tank, tucking into a flip.
Ryo: Take this!!!!
Ryo drops the grenades right next to the tank and
there is a huge explosion. The tank barrel rolls once
as a result of the explosion and stops. Ryo is
grinning maliciously.
Man: Damn! Lost my gunner and my new wax job in one
shot! I'll see that they all pay dearly!
The main gun swivels and fires three times. All of
them manage to avoid the blasts, but Tatchi is a
little singed. The gun swivels to face Tatchi. A
shell is realeased. With lightning speed, Tatchi
unsheathes his sword, jumps at the tank, and,
impossibly, cuts the shell in half. The two halves
hit a building and explode. Another shell hits at
Kirin's feet, and he is flung back into a wall.
Kirin: That does it, thou hast angered the mighty
Kirin Oda for the last time!!
Kirin leaps at the tank, only to be pummeled back by a
shell to his chest. (Yes, a full tank shot, in the
chest.)
Shin: *Looks like it's up to me.* Hey! Tank guy! Yeah
you! Where the hell do you get off attacking me like
that?!
Shin picks up a rock and throws it at the tank. The
man turns red with anger.
Man: Take this!!
Another shell is fired.
Shin dodges the blast easily. He jumps in front of
Ryo and knocks him into next week. He reaches into
Ryo's shirt and pulls out a double handful of
grenades. He drops the panties that came with them
and hooks the grenades to his belt. He jumps straight
up, and bounces off the wall straight at the tank.
Shin: BURNING KNUCKLE!!
Shin directs the Burning knuckle at the hatch,
knocking it off of it's hinges. Shin swiftly drops
the grenades into the hatch and jumps off. The man
looks at the grenades for a second before madly
scrambling to get out of the tank. Just as he leaves
the tank the explosion sends him flying. The tank is
still whole, but not in too good shape. The man
staggers to his feet in front of a sneering Kirin.
Man: How dare you!!
>From nowhere, he pulls out a pair of automatic assault
rifles and begins spraying bullets at everyone. Kirin
calmly disarms him. The principle pulls out a pistol
and fires about ten times into Kirin's chest. Kirin
takes that as well and hits the man in the stomach
with the handle. He stands up and sees the others
staring at him. He pulls a huge metal plate out from
under his shirt and tosses it away.
Principal: How...
He is cut off as Kirin punches him over the horizon.
He flies toward the horizon, followed by the tank.
Kirin walks back to them, picking badly dented bullets
out of his shirt.
Ryo: So... where were we?
Kirin: Oh yes. Kirin had you all writhing in the
crushing grip of defeat.
Shin: Here we go again...
They jump into the fight again, heedless of the fact
that they were just attacked. Eventually they make
their way to the school...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 2: Grudges and Alliances
Cut to the school. Ryo is already there while the
others are far behind. Ryo takes this moment of peace
to stare at girls.
Ryo: Hello nurse!
The others arrive and try to find the office. They
manage not to fight until they are in front of the
principal's office. The principal hears them and stops
them. He is the 'tank guy' from earlier. He still has
bandages.
Principal: What the hell are you doing?
Tatchi: What's it look like?
Principal: How dare you speak to me like that! I'll
teach you punks a lesson!
The principal gets beaten up pretty badly and the guys
manage to register for school. The bell rings and the
all rush off to their first class.
Scene cuts to Math class. Ryo sits at the back of the
class, Shin sits in the middle. Every girl in the
room follow him with their eyes. The other two take
their seat as well, far away from each other.
Ryo: *Ha! I'm at the back of the class!! I ain't gonna
learn shit here* (out loud) Hahahahaha!!!!!
Everyone looks at him like he's nuts.
Ryo: Oops...
Shin: *Why are all of the girls looking at me that
way? It's like this everywhere. Oh well. This sure is
a boring class.*
Tatchi: *What is this guy talking about? Why am I
here? I don't need school!!*
Kirin: *The great Kirin is above these simple
problems. He must train, not learn!*
Teacher: Mister Hideoshi, would you kindly answer a
problem?
Shin: It's Shin, and sure.
All of the girls in the classroom sigh.
Teacher: (Motions to a coconut) If I were to throw
this coconut at you at 50 kilometers per hour, and you
were 15 meters away, how long would it take for the
coconut to hit you in the head?
Shin: It wouldn't hit me. I would knock it out of the
air before it hit me.
Teacher: It would still hit your fist.
Shin: I could do it without actually touching it.
Teacher: Oh really.
Teacher picks up the coconut and launches it at Shin.
Shin: Burning Knuckle!
Shin punches the coconut which only lights on fire and
is knocked back at the shocked teacher. The teacher
screams in horror as the fireball hits him square in
the chest, flinging him into the blackboard, and
setting him on fire.
Teacher: (Raspy voice) Would you please go to the
principles office?
Everyone stares at Shin as he shrugs and walks out of
the room.
NOTE: To everyone who is reading this, for some reason
that only the Gods themselves know, we began writing
in the past tense after this point. Nothing is
changed, I just didn't feel like rewriting it and
changing the "ed" to "es" in every goddamn sentance.
That is all.
--Kenji Miyazawa
Later that day...
Shin and the others have finally returned home from
high school. All of them looked like they had survived
a bomb blast.
Kyo: Well, how was school?
He recieved dirty looks from all four of them.
Shin: I forgot how much school sucked cause its been
so long.
Ryo: At least all the girls like you, ya lucky
bastard.
Shin: Not my fault. Maybe they'd like you if you
hadn't broken ito their locker room to see 'em change.
Ryo: Fuck you
Shin: You wanna start shit with me?
Ryo: No, I feel like a freight train hit me.
Tatchi: Or a lot of pissed off girls.
Hiroshi: Hard day at school Losers?
Kirin: Damn you!
Kyo: Hiroshi...
Hiroshi: Don't wory gramps. I can take 'em.
Shin: Let us eat first.
Others: Yeah.
Kyo: very well
After their meal, they rushed outside. Hiroshi came
out as well.
Hiroshi: ready to lose again?
Shin: Bring it on bitch!
Hiroshi charged at Shin. He only made it halfway
before Shin knocked him to the ground with uncanny
speed. Shin grinned at him.
Hiroshi: You got lucky
Shin: Again?
Hiroshi charged again and Shin kicked him in the gut.
Shin: Give up?
Hiroshi: You got stronger! How bout the rest of you?
Each of them took a turn to beat up Hiroshi who
promptly passed out.
Kyo: What happened! Hiroshi! You lost! How did you
manage to screw up so...
Shin: He can't hear you.
Ryo: He's passed out
Kyo: Oh, bring him in. Clean youselves up, dinner's at
five. Do whatever untill then.
Shin: Sure
After Hiroshi was put to bed. All of them pondered
what they would do.
Shin: I'm really bored.
Ryo: Yeah
Kirin: Damnation, what to do.
Tatchi: I know, let's fight!
Shin: Works for me. You guys?
Ryo and Kirin: Fine with us.
All four of them square off to fight. Before any of
them move, they hear a voice from next door.
Man: All they do is fight! And destroy my stuff while
they do it! I haven't been able to enjoy a decent beer
for weeks! Do something! You're a martial artist!
Youth: Alright I'll go over there. Jesus Christ!
Man: Now ya lazy punk! If you weren't my nephew I'd
kick your ass.
Youth: Like you could. I'm going now okay?
A figure leaps over the fence into the yard. The boy
appears to be their age and wearing a military jacket
and baggy black pants. He has light blue hair and
green eyes which can barely be seen behind a pair of
sunglasses. He looks a bit irate at the moment.
Youth: You made me have to get up from my meditation.
Now I'll make you pay.
Shin: And who the hell are you?
Youth: I am Sotoyome Kenzan of the Hideoshi School of
Karate! Now, let's begin the asskicking.
Shin: Hideoshi? Yeah right?
Kenzan: You don't believe me? I'll show you!
Shin: Go for it. And don't steal my lines.
Kenzan attacks with a punch which Shin blocks with
ease.
Shin: You never were very strong, were you.
Kenzan: You act as if you know me.
Kenzan keeps attacking. Shin keeps blocking and
dodging as if he knows Kenzan's moves before he
excecutes them.
Shin: I do.
Kenzan: What? Hold still!
Shin: You don't remember me shorty? I'm offended.
Kenzan: Insulting me won't make this any less painful.
I'll pay you back for all of the damage that you
caused with your fighting.
Shin: Who's fighting? By the way...
Kenzan: What?(still attacking to no avail.)
Shin: Wonder how it is that I can anticipate your
every move?
Kenzan: What?!
Ryo: Yeah how? You ain't that good!
Shin: Allow me to re-introduce myself...
Kenzan: I don't care who you are. You're an asshole
for what you did to my uncle.
Shin: Like you really care about him. I am Hideoshi
Shinryu. Master of the Hideoshi School of Karate!
(strikes a dramatic pose, a wind stirs his hair)
Ryo, Tatchi, Kirin and Kyosuke clap. Shin grins.
Kenzan: What? Shin? No way! I refuse to believe it.
Shin: I'll prove it then. Burning Knuckle!
Kenzan is smashed by the attack. And knocked out.
Ryo: hmmmm...
Tatchi: Who the hell is this?
Kirin: Don't know.
Shin: His name is Kenzan Sotoyome. I met him when we
were kids.
Ryo: Oh
Kenzan: (waking up and rising to his feet)Long time no
see dick head. Now we can settle our little dispute.
Shin: Oh yeah. I forgot about that.
Kenzan: After 6 years I get to repay you for that
little stunt you pulled in Hong Kong.
Shin: Heh. You can try.
Kenzan: You won't live past 16.
Ryo: He's 16?
Kenzan: Same as me.
Kyosuke and Hiroshi enter.
Kyo: Kenzan! I haven't seen you since that martial
arts tournament.
Kenzan: Master Kyosuke! Pleasure to see you again.
Kyo: So, your father let you leave his lab?
Kenzan: Yeah, school's out now so he said I could go
to my uncle's house and find you.
Kyo: Just in time too. We are going to move next week.
So why are you here?
Kenzan: I've come to train of course!
Everyone facefaults.
Kyo: Oh God, not now!
Hiroshi: Yeah, those losers want to train too.
Shin: Hey you!
Kenzan: Hahaha Hiroshi. Careful Shin, this kid is
strong.
Shin: I know, but I beat him earlier today
Kenzan: Good, then you may make this a good fight.
Shin: Why not, I was bored anyways
Shin and Kenzan adopt their fighting stances, or
should I say "stance"? They attack each other with the
same attacks for a long while. Kyo watches with morbid
fascination while everyone else wanders away. Everyone
turns back as they hear Shin preparing his hisatsu
waza. He gets halfway through the punch and freezes
for a moment, fist still glowing.
Shin: Do I even need to say it?
Kenzan: Crap!
Shin lets his the Burning Knuckle go. Shin streaks
towards Kenzan who has no time to avoid it. He merely
catches Shin's fist. Ryo's jaw drops.
Ryo: Not even Kirin coulda taken that!
Tatchi: He stopped it with his bare hands.
Kenzan: That trick won't work twice!
Shin: Try this!
Shin charges forward and knocks Kenzan through the
wall into the next yard with a kick to the chin.
Old Man: Dammit boy! What're you doing?
Kenzan: I'm working on it!
Kenzan returns and grounds Shin with a swift kick to
the chest. The two begin another series of punches and
kicks.
Kyo: STOP!!! Dinnertime!
Ryo: Daaananana... (Starts dancing like MC Hammer with
the music in the background. Everyone looks at him
funny for a moment and stampedes into the house.)
Kyo serves masses of food which dissapears instantly.
Kyo brings out more food and everyone devours it. When
only one bowl of rice is left, a battle royal begins
over who gets to eat it. Yells can be heard from a
block away
Voices: "It's mine!!! Unhand that at once you fiend!
Take that you jerk!!!" and so on.
Kyo manages to get everyone outside for a little talk
about manners.
Kyo: I won't have it! You cannot beat the snot out of
each other at every meal!
Shin: Why not?
Ryo: Yeah!
Kirin: Kirin does not need manners! Kirin is a...
Ryo: ...moron!
Kirin: Hey!
Hiroshi: DAAAAA HAAHAA!!
Kyo: You too Hiroshi! I saw you kick Kenzan in the
crotch.
Kenzan punches Hiroshi. And another brawl breaks out.
Kyo just sighs and goes back inside. He stops sudenly
and turns around.
Kyo: By the way. You have school Monday.
Ryo: Were not going.
Kyo: You will if you want to stay here you
freeloaders.
Ryo: Grrrrrrrr.
Later that night...
Everyone save Hiroshi has entered the dojo and gone to
their own corner to sleep.
Ryo: Where's Kenzan going to sleep? This room isn't
big enough and I refuse to sleep near any of you
because it would be sick.
Kenzan: Perhaps if I was a woman.
Ryo: Well you ain't you queer so go home!
Kenzan: I'm no queer! Maybe your homophobia is hiding
your true colors!
Ryo: Why you!
Kenzan: A battle then? To see who's more of a man!
Ryo: You're on 'cause when it comes to peepin' I'm the
most serious man in Japan!
Kenzan: Just peeping? God you're a wuss.
Ryo: You wanna throw in tit grabbin' then? Fine!
Tatchi: Is that even legal?
Shin: Probably not. All I know is that Kenzan's old
man'll have to bail his son and rival out of prison
for rape.
Kirin: It's too late to stop those fools. They have
already left.
Shin: Oh well. More room in here now.
The next morning:
As Shin, Tatchi and Kirin ready themselves for another
hellish day in school, Ryo and Kenzan return looking
like they were hit with a hammer alot, but smiling.
Shin: You guys fight or something?
Ryo: nope, felt alot of women though.
Kenzan: and looked under their skirts.
Ryo: We barely survived but it was great.
Kenzan: I'm gonna go to school with you guys just so I
can do it all again.
Tatchi: Well, you only live once.
Monday at school...
Shin: Damn, this school is bigger than I thought!
Tatchi: Let's look around. Never know when that might
come in handy.
Ryo: Sure why not. I wanna find the women's dorm
rooms.
Kirin: What is that up ahead.
Kenzan: A big group of people it seems.
Shin: A fight!
The idiot teens rush off to see the fight. It is
actually very one-sided as there are 10 guys stomping
on one student.
Shin: They're just trashing him. That ain't fair. Lets
do something.
Ryo: Yeah, I love fighting. Almost as much as peeping.
Shin and Ryo jump in and trash the punks. One gets
away and calls for back up. Shin and the others ready
themselves for a fight. They are shocked to find 50
gang members charging at them.
Lead Punk: Feel the bite of the Diamondback Gang!
Shin: How cheezy can you get? (Rolls his eyes)
Ryo: Come on, you can come up with a better cliche
than that!
Shin and Co. begin trashing punks when another punk
shows up and calls off the attack.
Shin: Hey, we were having fun. Who are you anyways?
Punk: My name is Katsuyori Iyashima. I'm second in
command of this gang.
Shin: Really? They kinda suck.
Katsuyori: What they lack in strength, they make up in
numbers. There are currently 300 members.
Ryo: Are we gonna fight you now?
Katsuyori: No, all of you against me would be stupid
odds.
Shin: That didn't stop your punks.
Katsuyori: That man was capable of beating them. He
was sloppy and he pissed off our leader.
Kenzan: Who's he?
A wind stirs Katsuyori's hair.
Katsuyori: The God of the Judo World. (Cue thunder)
The ultimate Martial artist (cue thunder) He is Death
personified and my leader(Lightning)
Shin: Oooooooooo, scary...(Eyes get wide and sparkly)
Don't get me started. I don't care how good he is,
I'll beat his punk ass no prob.
Katsuyori: I'll pass that along. Can I have your name?
(Pulls out a notepad and a pen.)
Shin: Shinryu Hideoshi of the Hideoshi School of
Karate.
Katsuyori: Great, you guys look hungry. I own a
beefbowl shop nearby. Food's on me for your fighting
excellent fighting skill.
Kirin: Excellent!
Ryo: Why so nice? We just trashed your goons.
Katsuyori: Just to show that there's no hard feelings.
Ryo: Riiiiiight.
The next day...
It's Tuesday morning, and it's 5 am. Shin and the
others are fighting as usual. Kyosuke steps out and
proposes a tournament. The winner will get to stay,
the losers have to leave and find training and a home
elsewhere. They agree, each thinking that he will win.
MATCH 1:
Ryo and Kenzan advance to the center of a crudely
drawn circle. Kenzan bows, as does Ryo.
Kenzan: Prepare to meet your match, lecher!!
Ryo: Heh, this coming from the guy who hits on
anything with a pulse.
Kenzan: Why you!!
Kenzan attacks with a kick, which Ryo easily dodges.
Kenzan goes all out offensive, punching at Ryo. Ryo
dodges, jumps up and lands behind Kenzan.
Kenzan: Dammit! Hold still! I'm gonna-- (Continues
attacking)
Ryo: (Still dodging.)You know, you leave a big opening
when you fight.
Kenzan: Where?
Ryo: Your MOUTH!
Ryo kicks Kenzan in the jaw, knocking him over.
Kenzan: Ahh! You're gonna pay for that!
Kenzan springs up and connects with a flying kick to
the chest, sending Ryo sprawling.
Ryo: Not bad. Now let's see how you handle my
attacks!
Ryo attacks. Most of the punches hit Kenzan.
Kenzan: Wow. I hardly felt those.
Kenzan attacks again, only to have his moves
countered. Ryo punches, but Kenzan pulls it into a
judo throw, sending Ryo into a tree. Ryo hits the
tree feet first and rebounds, landing on the ground.
Ryo: Your style is much like that of Shin. Too bad I
could beat him with my eyes closed.
Kenzan: Keep in mind that I'm faster and far more
cunning than Shin is.
Ryo: Not saying much, considering Shin's about as
cunning as a bowl of wet liver.
Shin: Why you!!
Shin is forcibly held back by Kyosuke.
Kyosuke: Let it go, Shin! You'll have your turn!
Shin: That bastard! I'm fightin' him next!!
Kenzan: Not likely, considering I'm gonna wipe the
floor with this perverted bastard!
Tatchi: Hey Shin. Where did you meet this guy again?
Shin: Kenzan? I met him when I was 7 I think. I was
training in China with my grampa.
Tatchi: China? I've got family there.
Shin: Really? I might know them. We traveled around
alot. Anyways...
(Start Flashback)
The flashback begins with Shinryu ambushing Kenzan in
the forest, and trying to rob him blind. As he leaves,
Kenzan notices the symbol on Shinryu's shirt which
means 'dragon'. Shinryu takes the '4 eyed boy' to see
his grandfather via the hardest route possible. Kenzan
finally catches up and is introduced to Shin's
grandfather, Shingen who tells Shinryu to beat Kenzan
to a pulp as a test. Kenzan manages to defend himself
but still loses. Shingen lets him stay when he learns
the boy is rich. Shinryu makes fun of his grandfather
and gets hit over the head with a staff.
(End Flashback)
Tatchi: Wow. Your grandfather sounds like Kyosuke.
Shin: He's kind of like him. Kyosuke is nicer and he
doesn't hit me with a stick all of the time. He also
seems more honorable too. But we learned alot from
that old man. That attack, Burning Knuckle, he
invented it.
Tatchi: Really? How do you do it?
Shin: That, is a familly secret. But I can tell you
this. Anyone can learn that trick. It just requires
alot of consentration.
Tatchi:(taking notes)hmm...
Shin: What are you doing?
Tatchi: I don't want to forget this coversation.
Shin: Just don't forget where you put that notebook.
Kirin: They are still fighting.
Shin: Yep, Kenzan and I are about equal it seems. Even
after all these years.
Tatchi: We can't use weapons. That means no sword.
Shin: Can you fight without it?
Kirin: A true martial artist needs no weapons aside
fom his own body.
Tatchi: I do know Chinese Kung-Fu.
Kyo: If you're half as good at Kung-Fu as you are at
Kendo, then you'll be fine.
Tatchi: Thank you sensei
Shin: He ain't your sensei yet. You gotta beat me
first.
The boys turn back to the fight where Ryo now has
Kenzan's glasses, and is dancing around him.
Ryo: Can't see me! Can't see me! Ha ha ha!
Kenzan: You idiot! I can still hear you!
Ryo: Huh?
Kenzan attacks with a kick that Ryo barely dodges, the
blind boy then grabs Ryo's shirt.
Ryo: Hey! Leggo you homo!
Kenzan: I'll close your mouth for good.
Ryo: I think not!
Ryo brings his knee up between Kenzan's legs. Kenzan
grunts in pain and lets Ryo go. Ryo cracks his
knuckles and grins maliciously.
30 seconds later, Ryo is victorious in an un-honorable
sense, but victorious none the less.
MATCH 2:
Both Shin and Tatchi step into the circle. Shin drops
into his stance while Tatchi just stands there, unsure
of what to do. Shin looks surprized, but attacks
anyways with a kick aimed at Tatchi's head.
Tatchi leans back effortlessly to avoid it. Shin
punches but Tatchi evades again. This keeps up for a
good minute until Shin decides to end it with his
special attack.
Shin: Burning Knuckle!
Shin jumps at the long-haired youth with fire
surrounding his fist. Tatchi sidesteps at the last
second and punches Shin in the ribs. Shin falls over
but recovers quickly. He retaliates with a roundhouse
which misses. Shin grins and drops into a new stance.
His body begins to glow with blue light. Sweat beads
on his brow in concentration. Tatchi is just as
cluless as everyone else.
Shin thrusts his hands forward and yells.
Shin: Shinkuu~Ha!
A blue-white ball of energy flies from Shin's hands
and slams into the shocked Tatchi, knocking him into
the wall of the yard. He falls face first to the
ground decidedly out cold. Shin drops to his knees,
exausted from the attack.
Kyo: My God. When did you learn that?
Shin: ...from...the old... old man.
Kyo: Shingen's secret attack. I didn't dream that you
could do it as well.
Shin I save it for tough opponents...it's really
tiring.
Ryo jumps up and down. Kirin looks on, bored. Tatchi
is still out. He's in the house in bed. Azusa is
tending to him due to the burns he recieved. Shin gets
to his feet.
Shin: C'mon let's finish this now.
Kirin: Yes, a three-way match is in order.
Ryo: Works for me. It'll take two guys to beat me.
Shin: Shut up.
Kirin: Kirin is more than enough to deal with the
likes of you.
The three step into the makeshift ring and drop to
their respective stances. Kirin charges at Shin. Shin
prepares himself.
Kirin: The vengence of heavan is slow but sure. You
will pay for Kirin's last defeat at your vile ha-...
Ryo: Shut your yap.
Kirin staggers from the kick to the back of his head.
Ryo jumps over him to face Shin.
Ryo: Let's go ladies' man.
Shin: I wouldn't turn my back on Kirin if I were you.
Ryo: Oh! I'm sooooooo scared of him.
Ryo feels arms encircle his waist. He can do nothing
to stop Kirin's Belly to Back Suplex which knocks him
out on contact with the ground.
Kirin spits on his inert form.
Kirin: As well you should perverted one.
Shin: Nice move man.
Kirin: Feh. T'was nothing.
Shin: Here I come.
Shin punches at Kirin but it his hand is grabbed.
Kirin pulls him into a one handed throw. Shin spins in
mid-air and lands on his feet. He is grabbed again and
thrown at the wall. Shin turns and hits it feet first.
He grunts in pain, but manages to spring off and
headbut Kirin in the sternum. Both fighters fall to
the ground. A spectator with black hair gets a weird
look on his face.
Spectator: Why do they always do moves that kill them
both?
Shin manages to rise to his feet as Kirin is counted
out.
Shin does his best victory pose and looks to Kyosuke
for aproval. The master seems to be deep in thought
though.
Kyo:*They are all so good, especialy Hideoshi. I have
one more test though.*
Shin: Master? wha-?
Kyosuke moves to Shin and thrusts out an open hand to
Shin's chest. Shin grunts and falls over to
unconciousness.
That night...
Shin is still out cold from the strike from Master
Kyosuke. The others are eating dinner. They have
bandages their wounds. For once, they eat in peace.
Kenzan: Still, Shin won the tournament. I don't mind
watching you guys living on the street.
Ryo: Shut up. I was distracted. Ego Boy and the Human
Moron teamed up against me.
Tatchi: Just what distracted you again?
Ryo: Shut up Fem boy.
Kirin: Hahahahaha... fem boy... ha ha...ha
Kenzan: Well... I propose a rematch. In one weeks
time.
Ryo: Good. Maybe we can miss school again.
Shin:(entering with a large bruise on his chest) I
won. Why are you still here?
Kyo: This is why.
Kyo shows everyone a note.
Kirin: A challenge?
Kyo: Yes. At the High School tomorrow. Hiroshi doesn't
go there. But you all do. Now, mealtime is over. Go
train together. Shin, Kenzan, stay here a second.
Shin: Huh?
Kenzan: Yes master.
Kyo turns to them with a serious look.
Kyo: This letter is addressed specifically to you two.
I found it outside after your fight. Who is this
person?
Shin: Is there a name?
Kyo: Yes, Lee Hiryu.
Shin and Kenzan: LEE?
Kyo: You do know him then.
Shin: He's here? In Japan?
Kenzan: How'd he find us?
Kyo: who is Lee?
Shin: An asshole who uses Judo.
Kenzan: Very dangerous Judo. He's Akira Hiryu's son.
Kyo: Akira!? I remember him! He was one of my students
a long time ago.
Shin: We used to be his students too. After the
Nationals in Hong Kong.
Kenzan: Lee uses moves that are designed to cripple or
kill his opponents. Not even our skill matches his.
Shin: If Lee's here. I'll bet his brother is too.
Kyo: brother?
Kenzan: Aaron, he's an adult by now. He's even better.
Shit!
Kyo: Very well then. I must teach you our secret
techniques then. I know of Akira's style. You will
win. I trained that man, his style is mine.
Shin: That attack you used against me, was that Defeat
in One Blow?
Kyo: Yes, however, I cannot teach it to anyone outside
of my family.
Shin: Damn! I tried to learn that from him when I was
in Hong Kong.
Kenzan: Aaron knows that attack. He used it to beat
Shin in Hong Kong.
Shin: That's right! I still owe Aaron for that one.
Kyo: I'll teach you two only. Don't tell the others
about this. Meet me outside tomorrow morning at 5.
Kenzan: What about the others, won't they wake up?
Kyo: Don't worry. I'll take care of that.
Shin: Good. Now I gotta deal with Lee and that asshole
gang leader.
Kenzan: Two Judo masters. Hmm. Sounds suspicious. I
wonder if they're related.
Shin: Maybe. I'll leave the smart junk to you.
Kenzan: I gotta check on something at the University.
I'll miss school for a few days.
Shin: You're the only guy in the world who's going to
high school and college at the same time, ya know.
Kyo: It must be tough. I give you my blessing. Return
here safely.
Kenzan: (bows) Thank you master.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Morning at the Kyosuke Residence. Kyo is doing
exercises in the yard. The 4 idiots are asleep in the
dojo. Kyo looks up to see Shin up in the tree watching
him.
Kyo: How long have you been there?
Shin: Ever since you started. You really are good. I
could barely follow your moves.
Kyo: You could actually follow them?
Shin: A little...
Kyo: Where are your idiot friends? Did the drug I gave
them work?
Shin: They ain't my friends and they're still asleep.
Kyo: Good. And you're awake on time.
Shin: I'm used to getting up at this time.
Kyo: Something taught by your grandfather?
Shin: Ya know about him?
Kyo: Yes. I could tell by your style. And your Hisatsu
Waza.
Kyo: You're Shingen Hideoshi's grandson.
Shin: Yep.
Kyo: It flatters me that you think you can learn
something here. Why are you really here?
Shin: Following my father's footsteps I guess.
Kyo: Revenge may seem like a noble goal at first. But
it will consume you.
Shin: What?
Kyo: Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking
about. Your father wouldn't want you to dwell on the
past like this. You need to distract yourself from it.
I may be able to help you there.
Shin:......
Ryo: What ya talkin' bout?
Shin: Ahhhhh! What did you hear?
Ryo: Everything. Tryin to get the master to accept you
huh? While we were asleep. Hahaha. I ain't that dumb.
Kirin: What is this that disturbs the noble slumber of
the great Kirin. Speaketh now or forever hold thy
tongue in thy hands.
Ryo: What the hell are you talking about?
Kirin: The mighty Kirin speaks of--
Ryo: That was a ree-hit-or-ak-ial question.
Kyo: That's "rhetorical".
Ryo: Master! Watch your language! Honestly! A martial
arts master should know how to not swear in front of
his diciples!
Kyosuke backhands him, spinning him around.
Shin: Woah! Just like grandpa! Well, without the
stick. Hey Kirin,... ahem... let us finish the
conflict that we ... hath ... initiatiated yesterday
so that the mighty Shin may kicketh your asseth, ya
putz.
Kirin: Flattery will get you nowhere. En guarde!
Shin: The mighty Shin will layeth the smacketh down on
your candy ass!
Shin attacks with a punch that Kirin effortlessly
grabs. Kirin flips Shin over and slams him into the
ground. Shin bounces, flips and lands on his feet.
Shin: Round two... FIGHT!
Shin leads with a flying kick, aimed at the side of
Kirin's head. Kirin grabs the foot and pulls Shin
into a pile driver. Kirin leaves Shin in the ground,
headfirst.
Kirin: Feh, what good is karate when it can be
countered by professional wrestling moves. Truly it
is folly to challenge the benevolent Kir--
Kirin is cut off when he it hit in the head by the
flat of Tatchi's blade. Kirin's eyes close halfway.
Kirin: That hurt, you know.
Tatchi: Your incoherent babbling woke even ME!
Ryo sneaks behind Tatchi with a ridiculously large
pair of scissors and is about to cut his hair when
Tatchi swings his sword back and hits Ryo in the head.
Ryo: Ow! How did you--
Tatchi spins, his sword returns to his belt in a blur
and Tatchi punches Ryo several times in the gut. The
sword comes out and there is a flash as the tree next
to Tatchi is severed and falls-- directly onto
Kirin... and Ryo. Tatchi then turns his head, just in
time to see Shin's fist implanted into it.
Shin: Sorry, Master, for the interruption.
Kyo: Allowing your enemies to weaken each other before
stepping in? Good tactic.
Shin: Naw, I just thought it was funny as hell to
watch those bastards beating each other. So, are you
ready to train me yet?
The other three snap to attention, Kirin throws the
tree off of him.
Ryo: Train who?
Kirin: The mighty Kirin will not allow--
Tatchi: Shut the hell up and let's deal with this
arrogant bastard.
All three of them jump Shin and beat the hell out of
him. Kyosuke shakes his head.
Tatchi: My turn to beat Kirin down.
Ryo: Ahh no ya don't! I'm takin' you down and cutting
your hair.
Tatchi: Why you--
Tatchi's sword blurs down in an overhead arc.
Tatchi's eyes widen as his sword stops. Ryo is
holding a staff horizontally, blocking the bamboo
stick.
Ryo: A little faster than you thought, huh?
Ryo turns the staff down so the sword tip is in the
ground he hits Tatchi in the hand, Tatchi whips his
hand away, the handle of the sword is still in his
hand, which is turned away.
Ryo: Awwww, broke your sword?
Ryo picks up the sword and sees that it is hollow.
Ryo: Hollow? Then that must mean--
Tatchi rotates his hand and an elegant katana comes
into view.
Ryo: Shit.
Tatchi attacks, and Ryo manages to deflect the strikes
with his staff. Tatchi is obviously better with his
sword than Ryo is with his staff. Tatchi grins while
Ryo begins to sweat.
Tatchi: Ready to end this?
Ryo is starting to wear down. He then grins as well.
Ryo: You really are good. But... I'm better!
Ryo pulls his staff in half to reveal a chain
connecting the two halves. He uses the chain and wraps
it around Tatchi's sword and smirks. Tatchi isn't so
amused. He effortlessly cuts the chain and continues
his onslaught, shredding Ryo's clothes in the process.
Ryo tosses his useless weapon away and dodges the
sword strikes. Ryo jumps away to a safe distance and
curses. Tatchi grins victoriously.
Tatchi: Give up?
Ryo: No...not yet.
Ryo charges forward and disapears right as Tatchi
brings his sword down. Hitting only air, Tatchi brings
his sword to block. He falls to his knees as he is hit
from behind with a rock. He turns and cuts the next
rock thrown at him in half. This continues for quite
some time. Just as Tatchi blocks one rock, he is hit
by another in the back of the head.
Tatchi: Come out and fight!
Ryo steps out from behind a tree, hands behind his
back. Tatchi stabs at Ryo, who produces a large rock
in each hand and smashes them together on Tatchi's
head just as Tatchi's sword cuts into Ryo's left
shoulder. Both combatants fall to the ground,
clutching their injured areas. Ryo is up first, he
tears off his shirt and wraps it around the cut,
assuming his stance again, with a very, very serious
look on his face. Tatchi stands as well, leaning
heavily on his sword. He shakes his head a few times,
then brings his sword up to its position.
Kyo: ENOUGH! This will end before someone is killed.
Tatchi: Yes, master. (Falls over.)
Ryo: Ha! I... win...
Ryo falls to his knees and passes out.
Kirin: Had that battle progresses any further,
methinks Kotobuki wouldst have met an untimely end.
Shin: I'd have to disagree. Tatchi was looking very
seriously pissed off there.
Kirin: Doubt my prediction, will you?
Shin: I certainly will! What're you gonna do about it
you overgrown chimp?
Kirin: Flattery will get you nowhere.
Kirin grabs Shin by the shirt. Shin punches Kirin in
the face. Kirin goes to use the piledriver, but Shin
hits Kirin in some pressure points along his side.
Kirin drops him and begins cursing in a very
non-elegant manner. Kirin has two huge, nasty looking
bruises in his sides. Kyosuke looks impressed. Kirin
falls to the ground face first and doesn't stir. Shin
walks inside and passes out the instant he gets
inside. Kyosuke shakes his head.
Kyo: *So much for Shin's secret training.*
Two hours later, Tatchi and Ryo are awake and getting
ready for a grueling day at school along with Shin and
Kirin. Azusa is already ready and is waiting for the
group.
Shin: Another day of hell. At least I get to have two
duels to pass the time.
Ryo: Lucky you. I'll just have to make my own fun.
Kirin: And that would be?
Ryo: Sneak in the girls' shower and spy on naked girls
of course.
Tatchi: You sick weirdo. When will you grow up?
Ryo: As soon as you aren't a long-haired fag anymore.
Tatchi unsheathes his sword and begins brandishing it
wildly.
Tatchi: I'll kill you. Today, at the quad at lunch.
Ryo: Is that a challenge?
Tatchi: YES! God you are stupid.
Ryo: Cool. I get a duel too! Nanananananaaa!!
Tatchi: I'm going ahead. See ya.
Ryo: Hey! Don't walk away from me! I ain't done
teasing you! Hey!
Kirin: Another day. Kirin must go to the convenience
store to pick up goods that will ensure his survival
through the hellish ritual known as school.
Kirin goes into the store on the corner, leaving only
Shin and Azusa. Shin is noticably uncomfortable.
Azusa: I never really got to talk to you since you
arrived.
Shin: Oh.
Azusa: I talked to the others, even that sicko Ryo.
Shin: Uh...really?
Azusa: So, where are you from?
Shin: Uh... I used to live in Hong Kong. I trained in
China and Thailand, and Korea too.
Azusa: That's pretty cool.
Shin: (relaxing)Thanks. I like to talk about martial
arts, ya know?
Azusa: Me too. I'm not that good but I do it to keep
in shape.
Shin: Hm. I could train you if you want.
Azusa: Really? That would be cool. Grandpa has been so
busy training Hiroshi after you guys beat him up.
Shin: That, he had coming.
Azusa: I know. He's a real brat.
Shin: Me and the others haven't bothered you have we?
Azusa: No, thanks for asking. Tatchi asked that too.
He's really nice, but a bit absent-minded.
Shin: Yeah.
Azusa: Those guys all have some weird thing. All
except you. You're the normal one of the group.
Shin: Heh. I guess you're right.
Azusa: You're kinda cute too.
Shin: (turning red) Really?
Azusa: The girls at school asked about you yesterday.
They wanted your number.
Shin: (very uncomfortable) He he he. I seem to have
that effect on people. (Loosens collar)
Azusa: Are you okay?
Shin: Oh yeah. No prob. He he he. *God, please get me
out of this situation.*
As if to answer his prayer, a yell is heard from the
school.
Tatchi: Leave them alone you pervert!
Ryo: Oh shut up!
Tatchi: It's obvious they don't like you.
Ryo: How would you know? Oh yeah, it takes one to know
one right?
Tatchi: Why you! DIE!!!!
Tatchi attacks with his kitana. Ryo dodges and runs
away. Tatchi fumes and gives chase.
Girl: That long-haired guy was pretty cute.
Girl2: Yeah. We should follow him.
Meanwhile, some girls have caught sight of Shin and
Azusa.
Girl3: Hey! It's that Hideoshi hunk!
Girl4: Look, Azusa's hogging him all to herself.
Girl3: C'mon girls. Let's get him to go out with us!
Girls: Charge!
Shin has noticed the girls rushing at them. Azusa is
bewildered, but Shin looks for an escape from his
admirers. Not wanting Azusa to get trampled, Shin
scoops her up in his arms and takes off, trying his
best not to notice the beautiful, and well endowed
girl in his arms.
============================================================================
Is it just me? Or do these guys fight a lot?
NEXT: Chapter 3- Fast Break on Two Fronts
Just what will happen to the overly shy, Shin
Hideoshi? His little problem with girls is nothing
compared to his problem with people trying to kill
him, as we will soon see. And Kirin meets up with the
cast of Kevin Smith's "Clerks" on his quest for
Hostess products.
AND: Chapter 4- Out of the Frying Pan and into the
Fire
After escaping his mob of adimirers, Shin does battle
with the god of judo, Lee Hiryu. Can he win over an
opponent who can turn his own attacks against him?
Kenzan makes his return with some startling news. And
just what will Tatchi do if he actually manages to
catch Ryo?
You'll find out if you read the next two chapters
which are on the way. I hope you'll read 'em. Until
next time, I say 'see ya.' Oh yeah, I nearly forgot.
This is coming some day in manga form. I will be
drawing it myself but if you wanna send in a sketch of
what you think a character should look like, I'd
apreciate it as I haven't designed everyone yet.
That's all. I'm done, really. I swear...I'm gonna shut
up now. Look at me shutting up.
Ryo - "baka1997@yahoo.com"
=====
"You lose more in life by holding back. Carpe Diem!!!"-Ryo-
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