Subject: [FFML] [FFML][Utena] Directions
From: "Alex Gray" <hitomi@ndirect.co.uk>
Date: 11/9/2000, 11:33 AM
To: "ffml" <ffml@fanfic.com>

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This story is dedicated to a special friend.



Assume all usual legal disclaimers etc...





Cheers



Alex



============================================

E-mail - mailto:hitomi@ndirect.co.uk

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============================================



*******************************************************

Revolutionary Girl Utena



The characters and concepts of Chiho Saito are used without

permission. Other original characters are copyright of Alexander Gray



This story maybe freely distributed as long as this section is also

referenced and the author is quoted.



This story is dedicated to Gillian who is embracing her own new

direction.

*******************************************************



Directions

----------



    I looked in the mirror of the cheap hotel room in which I had

stayed the night, and gave a small sigh. It had been nigh on two years

now. Two years in which I had been wandering the worn roads of this

world searching for the one I had sworn myself to find no matter what

the cost. Twenty-four months of forlorn hope and dogged determination

with which I had nothing but failure to show for it. How much longer

would it be? How much longer would I have to wander through the

shadows of this world until I found the one I had sworn myself to? I

just did not know, I just did not know.



    I gave another small sigh and returned to the task of packing what

little belongings I had left in the world back into my small battered

suitcase. I looked at it for a moment. It says a lot about the state

of a person when all they have left in the world is just a suitcase,

but I no longer cared. I was who I was. The only person that mattered

to me was somewhere out there, lost in the world at large, and this

case would be all I had until the day I found her.



    My small traveling companion made a soft sleepy sound from the bed

and I turned to watch her, a small smile on my face. Apart from my

promised, this little one was the only person who had ever genuinely

cared about how I felt. And I loved her almost as strongly as the one

I was searching for. It sadden me to see how hard the traveling had

been on her. She was not as young as she had once been, and unlike

myself, was far more susceptible to the ills of the road. However, she

bore it with a strength of character that frankly amazed me. As each

fruitless day went by she was always there with that same old cheerful

face that had come to mean so much to me. Sometimes I wondered if she

was as committed to my quest as I was, but I knew better than to ask

her such a silly question. Over the many years of our association the

two of us had built up a quiet understanding that transcended

language. I knew she was happy with my decision to undertake this

quest of redemption and let it go at that.



    I continued to stare at her for several minutes before she  sensed

my presence and woke up. She opened her burnished golden eyes and

stared at me almost as if questioning if I was all right. I smiled and

stretched out my hand to give her a nose a small touch. "Good morning,

sleepy-head," I said. "How are you? Are you hungry?"



    At the mention of food she immediately opened her eyes and sat up.

I giggled, she was always the same, no matter where we went - hungry.

Walking over to the other side of the room I pulled out a few items

left from the shopping I had done the previous night and handed them

over to her. As per usual, she ripped them straight from my hand and

fell on them like a ravenous lion. I smiled - at least somethings will

always be constant in my life I thought as I returned to packing.



    The two of us left the small room almost half an hour later. The

sun had just risen above the horizon and I was anxious to get started.

I paid the hotel bill with my brother's credit card, and ignoring the

odd glances that the old woman behind the counter gave my companion, I

left to catch the morning bus that would take us to our next

destination. I had no idea if my promised would be there, but it was

as good a place as any to restart the search. And besides, the small

town we were heading for was the hub of communication for this entire

area. So maybe, just maybe, I might pick up some useful rumor that

would point me to where I should go next.



    "Come on," I said to my companion and held out my hand so that she

could more easily climb up to my shoulder. "Maybe this time we will be

lucky, eh?"



    "Errr..." was my companion's only reply and I smiled. She was

always like this first thing in the morning.



    "Have faith," I replied and making sure that she was secure I

picked up my suitcase and headed off for the small bus stop. I had

checked for traveling times last night, so I knew that the wait would

not be for long. Or, at least, I hoped it would not be. In this part

of the world you could never take anything for granted.



    As I got closer to the stop I was slightly surprised to see that

someone was already there. When I had crossed the entrance and was

preparing to sit myself down the figure looked up at me. My heart

jumped wildly as I caught sight of the color of her hair. It was the

same as my promised! Was this... My excitement rapidly turned to

bitter disappointment as I saw that her hair was an even richer red

than that of my engaged. The girl looked at me intensely for a moment,

and then she smiled and gave me a nod.



    "Good morning," she said.



    I smiled politely back at her and then carefully sat down. I put

aside the bitter disappointment that I felt, and helped my companion

to settle down onto one of the small seats. The girl gave my companion

a quick glance, and then oddly, nodded at her, almost as if she where

acknowledging the presence of another person. That simple uncalled for

action on the girl's part warmed me to her instantly. It was rare for

another person to be willing to treat my companion as an equal.



    "Are you waiting for the bus as well?" I asked in a feeble attempt

to try and strike up a conversation. Even after two years I was still

a novice at small talk, and my first few sentences were always the

weakest.



    "Possibly," the girl said curiously. "I haven't quite made up my

mind in which direction I want to go yet."



    "Oh," I replied not certain how to respond to that. "But this bus

only goes one way."



    "So many possibilities," the girl continued as if she had not

heard my comment at all. "Always so many possibilities, and always so

difficult to chose the path to take." She stared blankly ahead at the

risen sun and I had the distinct feeling that she had already

forgotten all about me. And so, I did the only thing I could -  I sat

back down and waited for the bus.



    The silence continued for about five minutes or so before the girl

suddenly swiveled around and looked at me, hard.



    "Yes?" I asked uncertain what she was after.



    "You're looking for someone, aren't you?" the girl suddenly

announced peering at my face with her intense hazel eyes. "Someone

you've lost."



    I blinked in surprise and took a moment to recover myself.



    "I'm right, aren't I?" the girl smiled as if she had just scored

some kind of major victory. "You have that lost look about you, as if

you are missing something important in your life."



    "Do I?" I asked stupidly. The girl's remark had thrown me off

completely, and I was uncertain what to say.



    "Hmmm," the girl nodded as her eyes seemed to bore into mine. "You

do."



    "Oh..."



    The girl abruptly turned away and resumed her silent vigil,

leaving me more confused than ever. What was she up to?



    "Ahh, excuse me," I tried to get her attention back. "What do..."



    "The bus will be here soon," the girl suddenly interrupted me.

"And I still haven't decided the direction I should take. So many

choices, so many possibilities..."



    "I..."



    "That's easy for you to say," the girl snorted flicking her fringe

away from the front of her eyes. "Your direction is clear. One simple

little journey around the country to find the one you want and poof,

your problems are over. For you, life is extremely simple. It's not so

clear cut in my case."



    "Now wait a minute," I interrupted her before she started to say

more. I was beginning to get angry now. Her words implied that my long

journey was little more than a stroll in the park, and that was

something to which I took great offence. "I don't know who you are," I

continued. "But what gives you the right to pass judgement..."



    "Age," the girl said with an impish grin. "I'm older than you

are."



    I snorted. "You're just a child. You..."



    "I age extremely well," the girl said as her smile turned smug.

"In fact, I've looked this way for about as long as I can remember -

and that is far, far too long."



    "I don't really care how old you think you are," I said angrily.

"That still does not give you the right to say what you said. I have

spent over two years of my life lookin..."



    "And what a waste of time that has been," the girl rudely

interrupted once more. "Two years to find one simple person," she

shook her head in amusement. "Now, that is really pathetic, especially

when you're not even on the right side of the country..." The girl

giggled with amusement, "You are in the east and she is in the west -

absolutely pathetic."



    It took a moment for my brain to process what she had just said.

"The west!" I blurted out. "What do you mean she is in the west?!"



    The girl giggled, but remained silent..



    "Tell me!" I demanded. "What do you mean she is in the west?"



    "Daaa... What the dickens do you think it means?" the girl replied

in an annoyed voice. "I'm talking about your silly little Utena Tenju.

Really, Anthy, for an immortal you can be surprisingly dumb at times."



    My eyes opened with shock and I shot to my feet sending ChuChu

flying to the ground. "Who _are_ you?!" I demanded in disbelief. "How

do you know..."



    "Oh, do shut up," the girl said with a small frown and my voice

suddenly stopped working. I stood there for a moment, my mouth

flapping before I realized what had happened. My hand shot up to my

throat and I looked disbelievingly down at the girl. She was staring

at the sky and ignoring me completely. I took a step forward to try

and...



    "Why it is that you humans always like to turn a simple reply into

a melodrama is quite beyond me at times." She turned and looked back

at me, "Look Anthy, I did not ask you to come here and sit by me, so

why should I be the one to be interrogated by you? It's not very

polite now is it?"



    I did not have a voice to answer her with, so the best I could do

was simply stand there and stare at her with eyes that must have

looked like moons. My usually stoic character had been completely

blown away at the casual, almost ordinary way she had just silenced

me.



    "Oh, silly me," the girl replied. "You can't answer can you."



    "What... Woo..." was about the best I could manage as my voice

suddenly started to work again.



    "Two very good questions," the girl said approvingly. "But I'm

afraid I'm not in the mood to give you any answers at the moment as

this situation is beginning to bore me. The bus will be arriving in 30

seconds, and I think I have decided on a direction in which to

Travel." She looked at me and shrugged, "And that direction does not

involve you I'm afraid, my dear."



    "Utena!" I exclaimed abruptly as the girl started to get up.

"Please! Tell me..."



    "Where she is?" the redhead shrugged. "Yeah, sure, why not? It's

got to be worth a laugh..."



    I suddenly felt faint as a wave of dizziness washed over me. I

reached out to try and catch onto something, but my hand grabbed onto

someone else instead knocking both of us to the ground.



    "Ouch..." I muttered as I tried to get my bearings. What had that

girl just done to me? I moved slightly and someone beneath me groaned.

My eyes flew open as I realized what it was I was sitting on.



    "Sorry!" I exclaimed as I scrambled to my feet. I knew that the

girl had been rude to me, but that still did not mean I could just sit

on her... I froze. My mouth hung slackly down and my brain threatened

to fade out at the impossible sight in front of me. It...



    It...



    "Owww..." the girl complained getting to her feet. "Who the..."



    Jaded green eyes met blue, and a second dumbstruck person stood

facing the first. For a moment, all I could do was simply stand there

looking at the figure I had spent so much time searching for. I did

not even notice that I was now standing in the middle of a busy city.

I was just standing, _staring_ at the impossible site before me.



    "Utena!" I cried out just about the same time as she yelled out my

name and we ran into each other's arms.



    Standing a few feet away the white faced form of the redheaded

girl watched on amused as the two young women started to sob

hysterically. She grinned, and pushing  her red fringe back from her

eyes she stuck her hands back into her jeans and walked off down the

street. She still had her own direction to choose, and no longer had

time to concern herself with this diversion anymore - no matter how

amusing it was...





** END









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