I'm posting this for Kaiton. He would really like some C&C about this fic, email him at kaiton@banet.net
The Wandering Saotome was originally meant to be a very long oneshot, but Kaiton has decided to make it into a series. The fic that I previously posted is now the prologue.
The Wandering Saotome part 2
By Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton
"Japanese"
[Thoughts]
<Chinese>
(Footnotes or Author's commentary)
---Nerima, Tendo Dojo---
Genma lay sprawled on the porch as an overflowing gutter drenched him in
sheets of icy rainwater. If the poor fool had been naturally asleep he would
have awoken, but as his sleep was 'forced' by his wayward son's force-stick, he
could not feel the rain as it sloshed over his form. His glasses fell to the
koi pond below, a fat calico with long whiskers nibbling on a bow. As soon as
the clock had struck twelve it had begun to pour, great gouts of cold water that
soaked the grass and overflowed the gutters.
Inside, behind the ceramic outer doors, Soun Tendo sat across from Ranma,
Kasumi at his side, as the youth informed them on the horrible events leading to
his rescue at the Mount. Ranma had grown steadily angrier with Genma, seething
as he watched the idiot drenched outside. Only Kasumi's forceful discouragement
saved the fat martial artist. Pak sat in the corner, it's red LED eyes
following the conversation and recording the expressions and astral patterns of
the Tendos as they spoke.
"You say that Genma left you in China?" Soun stubbed out his cigarette,
one more joining the pile cluttered in the ashtray. "I can't believe such a
story son, my friend would never allow such a thing!"
"But father, isn't this the same Genma Saotome who took his son on a
training journey at an early age, away from his mother, never writing to the
woman, and sending his bills to our house?" Kasumi sweetly said, bubbling with
happiness, no matter the subject. "I'd believe poor Ranma's story more than
that idiot's."
"Kasumi! Don't speak of your father's acquaintances like that! Genma is
a good friend, we both served under the master!" Soun stood stoically to the
window, legs positioned as his raised a fist and gazed out at the non existent
sundown, tears streaming from his eyes. "I will never ever forget!"
[What is this man talking about? Forget what?] Ranma shook his head,
hoping to never know exactly what the man was talking about. Pak jumped onto
the table, legs folded underneath, as a black hold materialized an inch over his
back shell. "Pak! Open the portal to Teh Sthlhu!" A shimmering cone of light
exploded outwards from Pak's back, a whirling dervish of colored sparkles and
pinpricks of green. "Kasumi? Would you like to go for a ride?" Soun wept
incoherently as Genma slid down into the mud of the yard. "I'll show you what I
meant when I said 'another dimension.'" Killer smile at maximum, it was just a
matter of time before Kasumi gave in to his charm.
A rose blush spreading warmth throughout her cheeks, Kasumi nodded, smoothing
out her yellow housedress and laying her lacy apron over the couch. "I'd love
to Ranma." She gave him a smile in return, white teeth sparkling in the glow of
the fluorescent lighting. "Oh my! Will father be coming with us?"
"I think he's a bit preoccupied right now." Ranma said dryly.
"Alright then, I suppose I have enough time before Akane and Nabiki get
home. Will this take long?" She grasped his offered hand, her foot
disappearing into the colorful void of the gateway.
"As long as you'd like it to." He clutched her arms, lowering her down
until her feet touched the ground. "Do you feel that?" She blushed as if he'd
been speaking of his warm hands wrapped underneath her sleeves, barely touching
her chest. "I'm going to let you go now, just roll with it, the portal isn't
far off the ground." Underneath her bare feet she could feel the soft blades of
grass still moist with morning dew; it seemed impossible, yet here she was, body
halfway beyond the floor, a heavenly young man grasping her bosom and lowering
her to another world. She had to make sure it wasn't a dream.
The soft landing on a cool meadow was enough to convince her.
The sun shone brightly in the sky, a clear sky devoid of clouds, and birds
chirped in the faraway trees. Her eyes round as saucers she looked up just as
Ranma fell through the portal, rolling out of her way and coming to a halt a few
steps ahead. It had to be real, her hands were wet from the dew collected on
the blades of green all around her, her dress was soaking with moisture as well,
surely a dream couldn't be this real! Ranma was dusting himself off as she sat
shocked, thanking Pak for choosing the meadow as opposed to his bedroom. Who
knows what kind of problems that would've caused.
"Kasumi? Are you all right?" He took her shaking hand and helped her off
the grass, trailing stray droplets of dew as she went. She seemed to look at
him somewhat fearfully now, her dewy eyes shimmering in the sunlight. Giving
her a reassuring smile her pointed towards the simple-looking stone cottage at
the base of the gently-sloping foothills around them. "Are you up for a little
walk?"
Nodding in the affirmative, she was lead hand-in-hand to his home near the
boarder with the Mystical Ruins and Stupar City, capital of Teh Sthlhu. Even
from twelve miles away the military barracks and sheds which held the CHEPHAROS
battleships(1) could be seen as gray blurs on the end of the green plains. The
Mystical Ruins were home to the Druidic Warlords, a tribe of sorcerers who had
long ago ruled the lands of Teh Sthlhu with their powerful Black magic, after
the arrival of Emperor Maximillian they were all but extinguished. A few still
lived in the shattered remains of their centuried temples, killing those foolish
enough to invade their territory. The Ruins were in the centre of the plains,
reasonably far enough from Ranma's domicile so that he was not bothered by the
murderous old men.
Even if the ruins held their share of dangers so too did Stupar City.
Housing over twelve million sentient life-forms, the city sprawled over thirty
miles in diameter, the centre for commerce and society in the Empire. Shades(2)
and criminals from the city routinely fled towards the Mystical Ruins, hoping
that the soldiers would not follow for fear of the Druids. While it was true
that most times the soldiers fell back, but it was also true that the criminals
never escaped alive from the temples where they hid. Ranma himself had never
seen a Druidic Warlord but had heard tales of famous battles waged against them
by the priestesses of Serenity, caregivers and stress relievers in the Holy
Empire(3). As they had been a cloistered group since time immemorial they knew
all the ancient legends and would share them with you...for a price.
A passing cloud shaded them from the rays of sunlight, a gray splotch on
the lighted plain. Kasumi looked up only to see that the cloud was a dragon
flying overhead, copper wings outstretched and catching the air currents above.
"P-pardon me Ranma...b-but is that a dragon?" The beast seemed to hear her as
red eyes, sunken deep into the scaled hide, burned into her. It was a western-
style dragon, stocky in build and short in neck, very much unlike the
traditional dragons Kasumi remembered from her old children's books. In them,
the dragon was long and serpentine, whiskered and elegant; this one was
fantastic in color and wingspan.
"Yeah. Must've just got back from the Sunken Graveyard." Ranma flashed
an eye to the dragon, as if saying 'don't land now, later' then continued to the
wooden door of his home. From what Kasumi could tell it was female, the obvious
mammary glands on it's chest and utter lack of external sexual organs gave that
much away, but it seemed to be waiting for something, waiting for them to enter
the house. "Mind the door, it likes to hit people on the way in, yeah...the
Sunken Graveyard. It's a place far north where an island nation was sunk by the
Druids thousands of years ago. The dragons supposedly came from that
civilization and journey from all over Teh Sthlhu every year on a pilgrimage to
their 'origin.' Don't let it worry you Kasumi." He held the oaken door for her
then slammed it shut, shaking a bit of dust from the doorframe.
"Oh my! What a large house!" It was true, the living room itself (which
they were standing in) happened to be twice as large as the house had appeared
outside, elaborately decorated by golden murals of Teh Sthlhu history. There
were chairs and cushions she'd never seen before, puffy silks and overstuffed
loungers made from material that shimmered as you walked by it. A short table,
vaguely reminiscent of a kotatsu, sat at the centre of the hodge-podge
upholstery, a varied assortment of breads and fruits adorning it's mirrored
surface. "Is this your house Ranma?" Of course she knew it was, but if she was
going to marry him she'd just like assurances that soon this would all be hers.
"Yeah. It was given to me by the Emperor Max, I...uh...sorta won it in a
bet." He had the good conscience to look sheepish as he explained how he'd
conned the Emperor of all the lands. "He'd wagered that I wouldn't be able to
defeat a dragon that'd been beatin' up his outposts. He bet the house, I bet my
servitude for three years." He noticed the incredulous look his guest gave him.
"Don't look at me that way Kasumi! We were both sorta drunk at the time!
Sensei told me I had to 'loosen up' so he spiked my drink!"
He drank? Well, that certainly was alright once in a while, but she'd
have to make sure it didn't become a habit. Sake or wine with dinner was fine,
or as a nightcap, but excessive drinking she'd not allow in her home. [Oh my!
Where did that come from? Why am I getting so...so...possessive? I do hope I
do not become like Akane!] Ranma watched her shudder slightly.
"Anyway, I won the bet...er...well I won the bet alright? So Max gives me
this cottage right near the Mystical Ruins, but guess what? The damn place is
crawling with Spugorths and Lachta(4)! So I get a team of Serenity's
Priestesses in here to clear out the darkness and webs but of course they want
their payment..." He blushed, not wanting to continue _that_ particular part of
the story, "...it's kinda different...ah...you know?"
She obviously didn't but nodded anyway, she'd get him to tell her later.
"So this whole place is a folded dimensional pocket, that's why the house
is so big inside and so small outside. It was nice of Max to give me a
dimensionally friendly plot of land though." Ranma just cursed himself for
telling her the story. How in Hrothgar's name(5) would she have any idea what
he was talking about? Lowering his head and hitting himself a few times helped,
as did the reassuring smile she flashed him as they sat in the living room. "It
basically comes down to this: if you spread out the actual living space inside
this house it'd be five times bigger than the outside."
She smoothed out her skirt as she sat at the table, marveling at the
exotic foodstuffs laid out before her. They ranged from yellow fruits vaguely
resembling a screaming man's face to orange fruits whose stalks became natural
straws. Ranma withdrew a short, bent-bladed knife from his tunic and began
cutting up the hard-looking cheeses on the wooden platter, ripping a chunk of
dark brown bread, he handed it to her.
"Uh...what time is it, do you know? Akane and Nabiki will be coming home
from school soon and I should start dinner." Kasumi nibbled gingerly at the
sour bread, waiting for him to hand her a piece of the cheese. Honestly, would
it be so bad for her father to order out? She was, after all, eating with her
new fiancZe, it was just so inconvenient at times! "How will we get home?"
"I suppose you mean that now since Pak is not here to transport us how
will we get back? Don't worry Kasumi, I can open the portal any time so you can
still make it home on time. And it's about 74:91 breems past the dawning, or
4:00 p.m. your time." He finished slicing the fruit and cheese for her and
watched her apprehensively begin eating it. He began to chuckle. "Don't worry
Kasumi, I've been eating it for ten years, it won't hurt you." He smiled as she
looked up at him with a few deliony seeds sticking to her face(6). Brushing the
sticky seeds from her face, he didn't notice the blush creeping from her neck.
"Let me show you."
He took her by the hand again, her body becoming uncomfortably accustomed
to his hands on her skin, and walked over to the foyer. Kasumi looked in wonder
at the intricate runes embedded into the iron sheeting of the walls. Patterns
wove and repeated themselves countless times around the hall, but strangely
enough she couldn't seem to recognized where one line ended and another began.
It almost looked...skewed. Ranma took hold of her other hand now, extending
their limbs to form a rough square in the air between them. He began to chant,
words Kasumi could either not hear, or understand; it did have the effect of
opening the space between their arms to her living room, her father still crying
at the porch. The image wavered slightly, his grip on her palms wavering,
shaking as his power and concentration melted, before disappearing altogether.
Winded and sweating, Ranma leaned on Kasumi as they stumbled back into the den.
"Whew...must've...lost power. I gotta remember to eat before I try that
again, my body isn't producing the energy I need to open the portal." He
relaxed on a cushion as Kasumi seemed to space out. It was then that a sweet,
trilling, soprano sang from an adjacent room.
"Ranma dear! Supper's ready!" From what she assumed was the kitchen,
Kasumi saw a short, lithe woman enter from behind half-curtains. "Is your guest
going to be staying for dinner?" She was about Akane's height with coppery
metallic hair and red eyes, twin horns jutted from below her hairline and a
copper tail twitched behind her. She wore a silver bikini with lavender colored
translucent silk spilling from her thong to just above ankle length. It was
obvious she wasn't wearing anything other than the silver clasp below the waist.
"Greetings to you, land-walker. I am Dan-Tae, Princess of the House of Copper
Victory."(7) Wiping her wet hands on a dishtowel, she offered a well-manicured
hand out to her guest.
Kasumi did not feel threatened by the creature as some might think,
intrigued and curious about her relationship with Ranma, certainly, but not
frightened. She smiled at the girl(?) and shook her hand daintily. "Dan-Tae
this is Kasumi Tendo, a fiancZe from my homeworld. Kasumi meet Dan-Tae, the
dragon I stopped to win this house." He looked around nervously, not wanting
Kasumi to freak out when she heard the unusual marital practices of this world.
Of course when Dan-Tae was at home, that meant...
"Ranchan! / Ranchan! / Ranchan!" Three voiced chorused from upstairs,
accompanied by the thumping of three pairs of feet dashing down the stairs.
Kasumi was chatting with Tae so she didn't hear the cry until three naked girls
glomped onto him. Coeffe, Hiwt, and Merac were overjoyed to see their friend
return after so long; a tangle of green, gray and blue limbs tackling Ranma
across the floor. Laughing at the attention, Ranma helped his childhood friends
off the floor and introduced them to Kasumi. The girl in question still had no
pangs of jealousy, just a strange emptiness as she realized they'd all have to
share. Extremely ecchi thoughts concerning a queen-sized bed and a lot of
cooking oil came to mind before she could think, thoughts that would be sure to
haunt her dreams that night.
"Ahem...Kasumi? This is Coeffe, Hiwt and Merac, they were the first
friends I made here." They all smiled broadly and bowed in unison to the
bewildered girl, multicolored strands of hair tangling in the effort. "Don't
worry, they're elemental sprites. They represent Nature, Stone, and Water
respectively." After the introductions were complete Tae ushered them into the
dining room for a hot dinner and they talked long into the night.
One question still plagued Kasumi's mind however, where did she fit in all
this?
---Tendo Dojo, 4:03 p.m.---
Soun had dragged Genma's soggy body in after awhile, deciding that Genma
better be ready when Nodoka comes or there'd be hell to pay. He hadn't even
noticed Kasumi and Ranma's absence until two minutes ago when he'd asked for
help dragging his old friend inside. He felt empty inside now, any time he
remembered training under the master he felt dirty and ashamed afterwards.
Similar to women's reactions to the perverted master of Anything-Goes Martial
Arts.
As such it came as quite a surprise when Ranma and Kasumi appeared out of
nowhere, walking into the dimension as if walking through a doorway. A swirling
mass of bleeding background colors and the shimmering of clear water accompanied
their arrival, a whirlpool of magic until the anomaly itself vomited out his
daughter and her fiancZe. They were laughing, actually laughing; Soun hadn't
heard such beautiful, trilling laughter since his poor wife's demise. His eyes
did noticed where Kasumi's hands were straying as they phased in, trying
desperately to contain his delight at the progress they were making. Why, by
morning they should be man and wife!
"Where have you been Kasumi? Ranma?" Soun tried to pull off the 'strict
father who frowns upon pre-marital sex' act, but ended up crying at the prospect
that by tomorrow the schools would be joined. If only Nabiki and Akane would
find nice boyfriends...
"Ranma was just showing me his house," she paused to burp silently, "and
where he lives. We were just eating dinner father, that's all, really." It
sounded like she desperately wanted to convince him of their innocence. They
probably didn't do anything anyway, so Soun decided to let it go. Ranma sat
next to him and Kasumi opposite, just close enough that Soun could barely smell
the liquor they'd been drinking after dinner, bottles of a special ale Tae's
tribe made since the dawn of time. She had to admit, it was quite good.
The faint smell of liquor started the alarms in Soun's head, a chain
reaction that lead to his secret store-houses of ki. Veins began to throb
menacingly on his forehead as his head began to grow, his tongue becoming
forked. Rapidly entering full-on demon head mode, Soun leapt up from the table.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY DAUGHTER RANMA!!!!I HOPE YOU HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR
ALL THIS!!!!"
Ranma and Kasumi sobered almost immediately as he pulled the vibro-stick
from his tunic. With the tell-tale sound of air being compressed, he thrust it
into the forehead of the demon head. A loud pop resounded through the house and
Soun Tendo was once again human.
"Don't worry Mr. Tendo. Kasumi and I just ate dinner is all, we had a
little ale afterwards but that's perfectly acceptable in Teh Sthlhu. Don't
worry." He stowed the vibro-stick back into Pak's storage space, patting the
creature affectionately on the muzzle, it's LED eyes twitching in happiness.
"So when was my Mom supposed to arrive?"
Kasumi smiled shyly at him, as her omnipresent blush deepened under his
scrutiny(phonetic pun intended). "She said that she would be on the three
o'clock train from Juuban, so she should be here in a few minutes."" [It'' so
hard to believe I spent the night talking and laughing with complete strangers
in Teh Sthlhu only to come home two minutes later than when we left! It's just
so confusing, does this mean we could conceivably live forever?]
All at once Genma sprang from the floor, a wild grin plastered on his
face. Dripping water over the floor, he leapt to the corner of the room and
grabbed Pak before springing back to the porch. "Hah! Foolish boy! I was just
feigning unconsciousness to hear your plans, now your magic will be mine!" He
knocked hard on Pak's outercasing, somehow expecting it to open the portal to a
fat, dishonorable martial artist. "Damn you! Open up! I want all the riches!"
Ranma didn't make a move to stop him, seeing Pak's LED optical array go flat-
eyed was enough for him to know that Genma wouldn't get away with it. A
distinct hum began in the beast's throat, a mechanical growl that rose in volume
until various vases were shaking from the vibrations. Genma froze as he
realized that perhaps angering the magical-creature wasn't a good idea, a
breakthrough which came too late as Pak opened it's titanium maw and bit down on
Genma's rather large spare tire.
Kasumi and Ranma shared a laugh as Genma screamed and tried to pry the
metal demon off his girth with a spoon, the trip to Teh Sthlhu seemed to have
calmed Kasumi, made her forget her priorities in this world and indulge herself.
In the broad scheme of things this was something only an extraordinary person
could do, Ranma was far beyond extraordinary he was a free spirit. Soun smiled
faintly as he realized that some part of Ranma's carefree nature had rubbed off
on his daughter.
"We're home!" Nabiki's voice carried from the foyer, almost drowned out
by the howls of pain from Genma and the incessant rattle of the storm gutters
outside.
"What's that noise? Do you hear that?" Akane folded up her umbrella,
sliding it into the rack next to the door. It was almost as if someone was
screaming...
"Whoa. Yeah I do Akane, what do you think it is?" Nabiki's eyes squinted
at the four shadows moving about in the tearoom, three sitting, and one dancing
about with some kind of weird growth on its stomach. "You'd better go check it
out."
Akane opened the door to the tearoom only to facefault as Genma continued to
dance around with a pangolin biting his gut. Nabiki contemplated facefaulting
until her eyes came to rest on their other guest. Her first thought was of
course: [WHAT A HUNK!!!!]
"Will somebody help me!?! Why isn't anyone listening to me!?! Can't you
hear?! Ahh!!!" Genma continued to roll around on the floor, Pak securely
attached to his projecting gut. "Get it off me!! Get it off me!!!"
Soun stood up, dodging Genma as he ran around the room, and gestured to
his daughters that they should sit. "Today I received a postcard from my
friend, Genma Saotome. Years ago we had planned to unite out school of
Anything-Goes Martial Arts, however Genma informed me that his son, Ranma, was
dead."
Ranma spoke up at this point. "Clearly the rumors of my demise are
greatly exaggerated."
Soun coughed, glaring at the boy for interrupting him. "Anyway, as you
can see Ranma is here and alive. So, who wants to be his fiancZe?" He smiled,
knowing that if worse came to worst, he would have two out of three.
"Tendo! Tendo! Help meeeeee!!!!!! It's biting my stomach!!!!"
"I'll take him!" Nabiki raised her hand while sneaking a suggestive
glance at Ranma's cute butt as he bent over to taunt his father. "Akane doesn't
like boys and Kasumi's-KASUMI!?!?!" Her eyes bugged out as Kasumi rose and
began to throw herself at him, draping her primly dress all over his arms,
chest, legs...oh! And cute but too!
"Get it offffff!!!!!!! Get it off me!!! Anybody!!! Help me!!!!"
"I'll be glad to take him father, clearly Ranma needs more of a mature
wife, someone who can be with him during the hard times." Completely out of
character for Kasumi, Nabiki thought she saw a suggestive lip-lick as she'd said
'hard times.' Shaking that line of thinking however came yet another visitor at
the door. All present in the room froze, Kasumi in Ranma's arms, Nabiki latched
onto Ranma's arm, Ranma trapped by the Tendo sisters, Akane verbally abusing her
family, Genma writhing in pain, and Soun stoically smoking a cigarette; he knew
to stay out of his daughter's affairs.
"Is anyone home? Genma?" A tall shadow of a woman descended on the
group, a glinting sword wavering in her hand.
One word cut through all those interested in Ranma.
Crap.
---To be continued---
I never imagined this series becoming such a hit! I just thought I'd
dabble in the old 'Ranma in a magical world' genre but I've received so many
responses to just this one body of work that I'll be continuing this as one of
my primary series (along with Evangelical History, Destiny Lost and Where are We
Now). As I'll be creating this world from scratch, most things will be
explained as they are introduced, however, some things will need extra
clarification, that's where my new handy-dandy glossary of Teh Sthlhu comes in!
(1) CHEPHAROS Battleships: These are like flying boats, they patrol the
entirety of Teh Sthlhu and are manned by the military police. Think of the
Roshtarian flying ships from El-Hazard.
(2) Shades: Hired assassins from the Guild of the Shadows, basically a
mercenary group. Shades are biologically engineered creatures that meld with
dark colored objects, making them perfect assassins.
(3) Priestesses of Serenity: Believe in two things, holiness through white
magic and the propagation of their order. These magic users are healers,
doctors, therapists, historians, story tellers, geishas and prostitutes. Since
they are descended from the original practitioners, they believe that
priestesses should only come from the blood of their ancestors, but you can have
a child by an outsider. For some strange reason they only have female children.
Their 'payment' for their services is usually in the form of a one night stand
with the employer. Now you know why Ranma didn't want to tell Kasumi about
the...uh...payment.
(4) Spugorths and Lachta: Typical beings that haunt old, broken down places.
Equivalent to gigantic silverfish and spiders.
(5) Hrothgar: Yes, this _is_ the same Hrothgar that is in Beowulf. He was
brought to Teh Sthlhu by Maximillian to help defeat the Druidic Warlords.
(6) Deliony: A fruit common to the forests surrounding the Mystical Ruins.
Imagine an avocado-shaped fruit with cantaloupe flesh and pomegranate seeds
inside.
(7) Dan-Tae of the House of Copper Victory: A dragon girl of about seventeen.
Those of the House of Copper Victory are copper-colored dragons who fought
against their Druidic Warlord masters during the Great Upheaval. She is the
princess of her tribe and looks very much like the girl from the Dragon Half
OAVs. Different colored hair though.
On a more professional note, if anyone never received an email response to
any question, please re-send the message and I'll try to get through them as
fast as possible.
Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton
Holy Scribe and Second Disciple
The Church of Kasumi and Ranma
Kaiton@banet.net