"No matter where you go, there you are."
-Buckaroo Bonzai
-Warhammer (ICQ#: 72406436)
http://www.geocities.com/teknos.geo/
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-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: SLG5MST.txt
[Aboard the Gotter...oh, you know the rest! Let's face it, Warhammer would
make a poor dictator and we all know it.]
WH: (looks at the previous sentence) Isn't that a bit harsh?
Sal: I don't know. It seems pretty accurate to me.
Commander Dawn: Sorry, sir. But I'm afraid I have to agree with the
Kharusian here.
WH: Why?
Dawn: Well, for one thing, your face is too friendly. You don't offend
people out of anger too often. Your eyebrows arc softly, as opposed to
jutting inward.
Sal: (smiles) And on top of that, you blush in the most adorable way.
WH: I do not!! I'm a mean, scary, evil, not nice bad guy who makes you want
to give back those library books back that you never returned in the fifth
grade!
Sal & Dawn: ... (a few seconds later) BWA HA HA HA HA!!!
(Half an hour of continuous laughter later...)
WH: ... buncha meanies...
Sal: (Trying to calm down, but can't) You know *chuckle* I don't think I'll
be able to MST for this... (starts laughing again.)
Dawn: Sorry sir... but it looks like you need some substitutes for us this
time.
(Both exit.)
WH: Ok, have it your way... well, let's see which original and established
characters I can use this time... Iczer-6! Come here, please...
[A young boy, around 12 or 13 years old(appearance wise), runs in. His skin
is as pale as Rei Ayanami's, his hair's a deep bronze, his body-suit's light
green, the armor about his person matches his hair. Despite his youth, he
has a long pony-tail, reaching to his knees.]
Iczer-6: Yessir?!
WH: Could you help me MST this one?
Iczer-6: (Tilts head and wonders) Does that mean that I have to skip on my
chores again, like I did while brother-5?
WH: (Sweatdrops)
Other voice: Not too quick on the uptake, is he?
(Both turn to see Saito Hajime from Ruroni Kenshin walk in, dressed in his
police uniform, katana at his side. For those who don't know, he's a tall,
evil faced, samurai who fights just as good, if not better than, Kenshin.
He's smug, very tactful, and has got the ability to back up whatever he
says.)
WH: What are you doing here?
Saito: Official business. I heard that there was some sort of dictator
around in this area. My discipline of 'Aku, Soku, Zan'(Slay Evil Fast,
respectively) demands that I destroy him. (Takes a single look at WH and
turns around) Obviously my contacts were mistaken, there's no dictator here.
WH: *VEINPOP*
Iczer 6: He is right. You don't look like a dictationer...
WH: (half crying, half enraged) Then why are you still here?
Saito: Because I've never tried this MST thing before. Might be amusing...
Iczer-6: Oh, it's lots of fun, sir! You'll like it.
Saito: We'll see... (ignites cigarette, but the dampening field puts it out.
He glares at WH, who only sticks his tongue out and holds up the 'No Smoking
on the premises' sign.)
[Andrew sits at a table, working on a Gundam model kit. He takes one part
of the model and puts it into place. The rest of the model immediately
falls to pieces]
Andrew: %&$%/@#$*((*&^!!!!!
Saito: Aho.
Iczer-6: (shocked) That's mean.
Saito: (Evil Smirk) I know.
[Ruri and Duo enter]
Ruri: So THIS is what you've been doing instead of writing your stories.
Andrew: Uh... well, this and watching tapes.
Duo: And it ain't even my Gundam you're doing a kit of! Not to mention
that you couldn't get it together properly to save yourself.
Iczer-6: Why are these people so mean?
WH: Because they can be. Need I say more?
Andrew: HEY!
Ruri: Well, we have to MST the next chapter of Shara's Last Gift.
Andrew: Got anyone lined up?
Ruri: Of course. I knew I couldn't rely on you to do it.
Duo: And Ruri let me have a choice, too!
[Presses a button, and a boy the same age as Duo appears, wearing a green
tank top and black spandex shorts]
Relena [off-screen]: Heeeeeee-rooooooo!!!!!
Heero: Omae o korosu.
Duo [Glomps Heero]: Don't worry about her, Heero. She won't come between
the two of us.
Saito: These boys nowadays, I swear...
Heero [sweatdrop]: Can we save the yaoi stuff until after the MST?
Andrew: Good idea. Who else have you got lined up?
WH: Yes, please.
[Ruri presses a button. A man with bleached hair, dressed in a black
leather trenchcoat, and strongly resembling 80s rocker Billy Idol appears.]
WH: What the?
Ruri: Spike, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Andrew [looking at a sheet of paper]: It says here "Season 2 Spike". What
does that mean?
Spike: [For those unfamiliar with the character, he speaks with a British
accent] For your information, it means that I'm actually a *threat*,
rather than comic relief like I got turned into afterwards. AND DON'T
FORGET IT!
[mutters to himself] I tell you, as soon as I get that bloody Season 4
microchip out of my head, Joss Whedon's gonna know about it.
WH: Ah, so he's a POHME.
Saito: Do have any idea who will get that?
WH: Hey, gotta put a little room for a super obscure joke now and then.
Andrew: Yeah, well... let's just do the MST.
WH: Agreed! And let it be known that all corrections have been done and only
the jokes have been left to make this more readable.
Enemy Beloved
[On the roof of the Space Knight command center, Warhammer sits atop the
highest point of a watchtower.]
WH: In war, the enemy is all around you... and what makes it even worse, is
when the enemy is someone you care for...
[Laughs hysterically as the sun begins to reach through the clouds of
another day's beginning.]
[A beam of sunlight falls on Spike's hand, which catches on fire]
Spike: Bloody hell! [Backs away and douses it]
Iczer-6: *Giggles*
"With all the information we have concerning Lahdam technology, it is safe
to assume that anyone and everyone who is unfortunate to go through the
assimilation process is changed permanently. Everything down to the basic
genetics is changed enough so that they can use anyone who falls into their
trap for whatever purpose they have in mind. Maybe the only way out of
their
web is death... it must be more merciful than to live as one of them."
Andrew: Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
[Spike whacks him]
Spike: You could be a bit more original.
Saito: Agreed.
-Jesse Lockhart, "Lahdam: The Poison of Life" Essay is copyright of
Survivor
Publishing, 2298
WH: That's a Final Fantasy reference mind you...
If it keeps going at this rate,
we're all going to be in trouble."
Duo: Yeah, we gotta save SOME nachos for later.
Iczer-6: Will there be pizza too?
WH: (sweatdrop)
"Also, send Slade and Ms. Corman to the research facility just off the
coast
of western Greenland. Send along Mr. Carter's sister if you need to. They
can use that area for training and even if someone asks us what we're doing
there, we can tell them we needed to retrieve a certain set of plans for
Hertz Z-Tron Enhancement upgrade. We couldn't get it before because of the
war, but since things have quieted down for a while, it should give us the
perfect cover."
Andrew: And, as a certain feline android found out, Z-Tron can also double
as a great hallucinogen! (sp?)
[Nukux2 runs by, laughing hysterically and literally glowing of Z-Tron,
screaming 'USE THE FORCE! USE THE FORCE! Iczer-6 and WH sweatdrop, and Saito
veinpops.]
*****
On the eastern side of the space knight command center, a figure began to
stir among scattered sheets on a bed as the sun started to reach the other
side of that person's room.
Spike [backs away again]: WOULD YOU STOP THAT?
WH: hmmm, Nah!
Knowing that she would not get anywhere by just laying down, she leaned up
and stretched her arms above her head. Tina tried not to let too many
things bother her, but whenever her bones popped from stretching, she
wanted
to throw a fit.
Heero: Don't worry, they go back into place easy enough.
Iczer-6: (Turns to WH) What does he mean by that?
WH: You don't want to know.
Another voice purred, "Indeed it is."
Spike: Oh, just rub it bloody well in, why don't you? I tell you what,
come sunset, I'm gonna...
Saito: (Evil grin) I'll be waiting...
Not at all bothered, Kahn replied, "Even for teachers, there are times when
we must rest to regain our strength."
Duo [Tina]: Oky, but how am I gonna clean up all the hairs you're shedding?
WH [Kahn]: Silly girl, it's part of your patience training.
Kahn turned to her again and continued, "You are capable of utilizing the
wind, my dear, but you just have not been shown how yet. That was why you
failed." His voice turned dire as the importance of his lesson increased,
"What you will be able to do is use this only in terms of a defensive
capacity and for the acquisition of knowledge. Should you try and use it
for offense, you will lose the ability just as fast as you have gained it."
Ruri: Thank you, Yoda.
WH: (sobs in the corner) I tried... I tried...
Calmly, the tiger replied, "You will know. The Great Creator Himself gave
you this, along with the rest of all that lives, the ability to discern
between good and evil. When your mind is in harmony with the soul, the
truth shall be made known."
Andrew: Let's test your "discernment", shall we. [Holds up a picture of
Chibi-Usa] Good or evil?
Saito: (stands up, raises his sword, and prepares his Gatotsu stance.)
Aku... Soku... ZAN! (charges and slashes the picture in half.)
Sailor Senshi: WE HEARD THAT!
[Bangcrashpowsmashsplashshockfireballlightningboltmoonbeamshakesubmergescrea
m-deathrebornrevolution]
Saito: (dusts himself off, smirking that he didn't get shot at.)
Tina breathed a small sigh of relief at those words, despite the fact she
had a bit of a hard time trying to comprehend it all. Knowing that Kahn
would be there to help her out also, gradually put her mind at ease.
Sitting on her bed, she waited from him to continue.
"So, what can you recall vividly from your last attempt?"
Duo [Tina]: Somersaulting purple hippopotami!
[Heero pulls a lever, and a purple hippopotamus somersaults into the MSTing
theater, landing on Duo]
Heero: That was Nuku-Nuku on Z-Tron.
Nuku: (walks by to see the Hippos, pales and shrieks) THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!
AHHHH!! (Runs away)
Looking back to him, she answered, "Well, I tried to imagine seeing the air
that made up the wind and tried to move it. But no matter how hard I
tried,
it wouldn't budge."
Kahn sighed and with his head hung low, mumbled something about students
not
being patient. "It's because you tried to force the wind to do what you
wanted."
[Heero holds a gun to Andrew's head]
Heero: No Mexican food jokes.
(Iczer-6 blinks as Saito and WH pull out their respective weapons.)
WH: Agreed.
"Huh?"
"It's because you, like so many I've seen, tried to control the element.
Not
cooperate with it."
"Wait a minute... are you saying..."
"Yes. Nature is not just a rock or a tree, but part of a whole. And when
you try to force something from it, you get nothing in return."
Tina felt the weight of her foolish actions from before fall on her head
like a pile of bricks. "So... how do I... uh, cooperate with the wind?
Give an offering or something?"
Kahn blinked at her answer and stammered, "Who would have thought you would
guess it right!"
Tina's face brightened and she started to jump for joy. "Coolness!"
Duo [surfie voice]: Duuuuuuuuuude!!!!
[Heero gives his Death Glare [TM] to Duo]
WH: (sweatdrops) I get the idea.
She frowned at him, but stood up regardless. "So... how do I get the
wind's
help?"
He raised a paw and pointed to her. "You are aware that in most of nature,
everything has a symbiotic relationship, no?" Tina nodded. "This is no
different. If you wish to gain the assistance of the wind, you must give
it
something first. Your power is what it will accept. Only then, will the
elements be on your side."
"Ok... so how do I do that?"
Andrew [Khan]: You go to a Mexican restaurant, and... [BANG!]
Heero: I warned you.
Iczer-6: That had to hurt.
Saito: But he did have it coming.
Kahn shook his head, "No, because you broke your concentration. Which is
common for anyone starting out. In time you'll be able to do more, but for
now, simply try to make that phenomena last longer than it did."
Tina rolled her eyes backward and groaned, "Oh geez, even after high
school,
I still get homework."
Andrew: I take it she hasn't gone through tertiary education yet. ^_^;;
WH: Nope. Tina's only working for college... or so she says.
Going along with Tina's comment, he continued with as sinister a grin as he
could. "I also expect you to do better than now, or else I'll be repeating
what I did to you earlier."
"Do you have to?" Tina whined, hoping that he was just joking.
"We'll see, my dear," he said before walking past her and into the shadows.
Sighing, Tina walked over to her bathroom, hoping that this was just her
imagination playing tricks on her again. As soon as she entered, her frown
grew when she saw in the mirror the horrid mess that was her hair. She
never liked looking at herself in the morning because she looked like she
had been through a war zone. She stuck her tongue at her reflection in
disgust and walked into the shower.
Heero: Hn. I don't care if MY hair looks that way.
WH: Well, *I* do! My hair's one of the most important parts.
Saito: ...I refuse to respond.
She looked down to discover that the high hemmed skirt that was part of her
uniform had not anticipated her growth spurt. She moved to the side and
pulled away the shower curtain to reveal her darkest secret!
Andrew: h_h
All others: [Powbiffwhambashsmackkapowpainhurting]
Saito: <Evil smirk>
"AHA! Found it!" Tina announced to no one in particular and whipped out a
pair of black biking tights that would fit her just fine, even when she was
growing. She slipped them on and smiled as much as she could in front of
her mirror. Her anxieties faded and without another word, strode out the
door, more than ready for the Command Bridge.
Heero: Hey, those are MY bike shorts!
Tina: (pointing in Heero's face) Not anymore! A ha ha ha!
WH: Get back in the fic!!
His thoughts were interrupted as another figure walked through the hallway
and waved a hand in front of his face to bring him back to reality. He
blinked in surprise and took a step back to see Starrick Summers was the
one
who woke him up.
Andrew: Starrick? Is that a real name?
WH: No, I had to think of Star as nothing more than a nickname.
Iczer-6: So... does that mean you couldn't think of anything better?
WH: (sobs in the corner)
Star shrugged, "All he said was that he needed to know the location of a
certain building once owned by a working associate of the Solar Moon.
Probably has something there the top brass want, I think."
"Let's hope it's not something the enemy may want as well," he noted.
Andrew: Well, knowing the laws of anime...
WH: Just wait and see, ok?
*****
Staring at the ceiling, Ringo's mind raced over a single memory that had
continued to stay with him since his childhood.
It was the fall of 2083. He was just eight years old at the time.
Spike: He got chased by a clown at his birthday party!
Duo: ...and has been afraid of them ever since!
WH: By none other than Coco the Terrible!!!
Iczer-6: That crazy mime!
A snicker from above the large tree brought his attention from his last
second escape. He looked up to see who would dare laugh at Ringo Noal
Richards.
Ruri: Notice the subtle working-in of a Japanese series element.
WH: Which shows the TB Purists that I'm not a turncoat...
Saito: Nope, just an Aho.
Time and time again he had tried to put the memory of this mystery girl
behind him, but it would not leave him be. The last thing Ringo wanted was
to have something as vague as this keep him from progressing in life.
Andrew: Let me guess. This is gonna be a plot point later on, right?
WH: How'd you guess?
*****
In the infirmary, Harri Carter sat in a chair next to the cot that her only
daughter laid in. Despite her best attempts at explaining the whole
process
of the Teknomen transformations, conversions, and what not, Shara was at a
loss of how to put it in as simple terms as possible.
"So... the armor that they wear... is it part of their body or something?"
Harri inquired.
"Not exactly," Shara answered a bit worried. "The armor itself
materializes
when the matter around the subject is charged and the material it's made of
is pulled from a 'sub-dimensional pocket' of sorts. Then the material
shapes into the armor that they wear."
Andrew: Hands up who understood that.
[Ruri raises her hand]
[Iczer-6 raises his hand.]
Saito: You sure?
Iczer-6: (Nods)
Both mother and daughter sighed. It appeared that it would take a while
before comprehension would set in completely.
"Is it really that hard to understand?" Shara inquired her mother.
A bit exasperated, Harri replied, "For heaven's sake, Shannon, I'm a
doctor,
not a metaphysics professor."
All: [Blink, and groan]
Andrew: [Harri] It's worse than that. She's gonna soon be dead, Jim.
Duo [to Heero]: You wanna?
[Heero fires Wing Zero's Double Buster Rifle at Andrew]
Iczer-6: I'm not cleaning that up.
Recalling the news of the mysterious hero that had helped push the invaders
back, she added, "And Ness would have been like that if it weren't for
Ulysses..." She sighed, remembering the fate of her husband before
continuing. "Do you know of anyone else besides Cain who became one of
these things? Do you think Conrad or Katherine might have survived?"
Andrew: [Evil smirk]
Saito: Knowing you, Hammerhead, you'd think they'd want to if they could?
WH: Heh, not really.
Her daughter's eyes widened even more at the revelation. The realization
of
just how much Fritz really cared for her hit her as hard as an oncoming
train. Now, here she was, ready to perish to help save others, when the
only other man she cared for had given his life to save hers. Though it
was
not so, it felt like he had given his life for nothing.
Andrew: Hey, and didn't you say... [SLASH!]
Duo [in Shinigami]: You're not supposed to let on about that!
Iczer-6: What was he talking about?
WH: (Is about to say 'sore wa himitsu' but Saito's katana resting beneath
WH's chin makes him think otherwise.) Uh... you'll see what I mean later on.
"As much as we tried, we were unable to prevent news of Tina's appearance
reaching the rest of the UEG command. Now they're up in arms over the fact
that we've been keeping secrets from them. As much as we would just love
to
let men like Galt in on newer weapons, we had no time for protocol.
Heero: Yeah. About as much as WE'D love to let Treize in on our Gundams.
Duo: Well, Wu Fei might let Trieze in on something else, if you get my
drift.
[Wu Fei enters]
Wu Fei: Maxwell!! KISAMA!!!!
Saito: (gestures Wu Fei to go ahead and beat the snot out of them)
Tina blinked at Jamison's orders. Not too many people were given the order
to lay low for a while. On the bright side, she would be able to improve
on
what she had already. If she was fortunate, her teacher would stop jumping
on her head for good.
Spike: Anf if he's full size when he does it, I'd say it'd take more than
a Panadol to get over.
Duo: In the same way that Blade needs more than Prozac to get over his
depression.
WH: (bouncing around happily) And just wait until the last couple of
chapters. Not even prozac will be able to help.
The commander turned to her and replied in the same manner of speaking.
"In
this laboratory, there's an experimental chip that was being developed
before its budget ran out and it was all abandoned when the war started.
If
we're right, this chip will help the refining process of Z-Tron, resulting
in more potent samples of the element.
Duo: So people will see somersaulting hippopotami in many colors, rather
than simply in purple!
Ruri [yawns]: I think we're running THAT one into the ground by now.
(Nuku x 2 runs by screaming, 'MAKE THEM STOP! MAKE THEM STOP!')
Jamison turned to the three members of his crew and said, "If there's no
further discussion, you'll leave within the hour. Make sure to pack what
you need. Make sure to head to the supply room for food-stuffs that will
last you as you're there."
Spike [Jamison]: And DO keep ensign Yuuki away from there.
WH: Oh come on, she's been able to control herself for quite a while.
Saito: Define 'a while'?
The sound of the door opening brought her back to reality. She leaned up
to
see her brother enter the door and sit by her bed. "What's going on?"
"The commander wants us to lay low for a while.
Andrew: Well, looks like you're gonna keep lying, Shara.
[Everyone else groans and whacks him]
[WH and Co do the same.]
*****
Darkon's eyes flew open as his meditation ended abruptly, the disturbance
was all due to a reoccurring dream that he had for a long time.
All he could see was desolation.
He was standing in the middle of a field of death with countless bodies.
He
had killed them all. All by his hand, they had lost their lives. He was
staring at his blood soaked hands, wondering how it came to be. He felt no
different than what he was before. Nothing from what he could remember had
been changed.
Nevertheless, he had still ended their lives.
Shocked as he was, a smile began to develop across his face. Bit by bit, a
chuckle began to grow from his throat. The smile on his face stretched
from
ear to ear. Turning to the face of a dead woman, his laugh only got louder
and louder until it was a full throated and roaring laughter at her
misfortune.
Spike: I'm starting to like this guy already.
Ruri: You would.
WH: Heh.
It did not take long for him to know that all this was nothing more than a
fleeting thrill that demanded to be recreated. Like the affects of an
addicting drug, one could not stop. The only way he could go was higher
with all that he now loved.
Death itself was his mistress. Ever so eager to please her, he took every
step to ensure that she was.
[Duo grins]
Duo: Yeah, man! You go, Shinigami!
Ruri: You can tell he has issues, can't you?
Heero: Yeah.
WH: We have a counselor on the premesis that could help... if he could
survive the process that is.
Izcer-6: You mean that scary version of Shara?
WH: Yep.
That was her pleasure, as it was it his own.
He almost quivered with the thought of being held in the loving embrace of
his mistress, she giving the pleasure that one could experience only once.
Duo: I tried once. Man, they should make sure those self-destruct buttons
work when they put 'em in.
Heero: Mine worked.
Duo: Don't remind me.
Saito: Obviously, it didn't work.
He could hear the cries and pleas of those still living for salvation from
the death of their already miserable lives. Yet, only his mistress could
give them true salvation. Salvation from life. How foolish these humans
were. Believing that some sort of deity could save them when they had
abandoned Him in the first place.
Duo: Lat's test that theory, shall we! [Holds up a cross in front of Spike]
Spike [averts his eyes]: Arrgh! Get that bloody thing away, would you?
WH: (snatches the cross and tapes it onto Spike's face, laughing
maniacally.)
However, when he returned to his mistress, she seemed to have changed to
him. Something was not right. He turned to see that the boy he had just
killed was alive again. Angered once again, Darkon killed the boy again,
leaving him to rot with all the others.
This did not change the new demeanor of his mistress. She was no longer
interested in him anymore, but the boy, who had come back to life once
more,
became the object of her desire. He could not stand being replaced by this
one.
Duo: [ego swell]
[everyone else groans]
Spike: Will SOMEBODY bloody well burst his bubble?
[nobody does]
Spike: You're hopeless, the lot of you. [Grabs the remote and fast
forwards]
Andrew: Hey! That's nice imagery you're skipping through!
WH: (To Duo) You wish it was you, punk. Also, you're all going to find out
who it REALLY is later on.
For now she would have to rest. Being one such as her, concentration in
all
things was vital. However, a rumble that came from her midsection broke
all
that and she fell to her knees and sighed.
Even Kharusians had to eat and there was nothing edible for many light
years, save for the third planet!
Andrew: Is she a relative of Ensign Yuuki then? If she can eat THAT
much...
Saito: Aho, you phrased it wrong.
WH: Just shoot me then! *KABOOM* *CRASH INTO THE WALL*
Iczer-6: Well... that's what he said.
As the Blue Earth flew off into the sky, the same figure that was in the
loading bay earlier that day watched the ship with great interest. Now
that
the cat was away, it was time for the mouse to set a trap.
Ruri: Although I very much doubt this person would think of herself as a
mouse.
Saito: Hopefully, she'll learn her place.
*****
[SNIP the 'how the earth is' part.]
"Ringo. You remember that talk we had when we were playing racquetball?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Well, what you said. It was right. But the problem is how do I tell her?
I want to tell her how I feel, but I want to do it right."
"Ohh, going for gusto aren't we?"
"Stop it Ringo, you know what I'm talking about."
"All right, all right. Well, try doing something that seems out of the
usual, yet still show her what you mean. Understand?"
"I think so... but I'm still unsure."
"Well... how about this..." His voice became a whisper and he leaned in and
told Ness how to do it right in hushed tones. "Got it?"
"Yes."
Duo: However, given how successful Ringo was at trying to crack onto Star
at the start of the series...
Iczer-6: Good point.
Those thoughts made Shara's head slump in shame. Yet the argument was that
she did not want to die when she was all by herself. A rueful smile soon
developed as she mumbled, "Well... I know I'm not going to die alone,
that's
for sure." Recalling the plans she had in mind, she was not going to die
alone, if she could help it.
[Andrew recalls episode 25, and worries]
WH: (snickers evily and whispers) Just you wait...
She leaned upward to look around to find herself alone with her attacker,
who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.
There with a smug look on her face, was a rather tall, semi-tanned,
Caucasian woman, dressed in what looked like a stolen uniform.
Andrew: Why did it look like it was stolen?
Saito: (To WH again) Aho.
WH: Would you stop that?!
"Nobody important, but that's not the point. The point is that your
boyfriend has been giving us quite a bit of trouble in what we're trying to
do. Also, I find it a sad fact that not even his brother can beat him," the
woman said with a sneer.
Turning around, she touched several keys on the control pad and soon the
container opened. With a sinister grin, she continued, "So, my dear,
you're
going to kill him for us." She turned to the pod, "GET HER!"
*crash*boom*ominousthunder*
However, her escape was compromised as she tripped and fell as a single
tentacle from the pod wrapped itself around her ankle. Now desperate, Star
grabbed at anything she could get her grip on. It was then that the other
woman had walked up to her with the intention of assisting the pod in its
assimilation of her. Kneeling over Star's form, the woman grumbled, "You
know you can't win this one. So why struggle?"
"This is why..." Star growled before swinging her other still-free leg
straight into the woman's face, sending her onto the floor.
Duo: And in several anime, that would be considered cause for a Psychotic
Revenge Trip (TM)
WH: (looks over notes) Hmm, no, not yet anyway.
Sword wiped the drawn blood from her cheek and moved the pod back into the
container from which it came. Yet, she still had one more thing to do
before the subterfuge could be complete.
"So... this is what you've been doing, Sword," a deep voice mumbled as
Darkon's ethereal image appeared on the other side of the room.
Spike [Darkon]: ...playing cubby-pods with the Space Knights.
Iczer-6: [Sword]: (stammers) It's... it's not what you think!
With a cordial bow, Sword answered, "Yes, Master. I've been cultivating a
single pod, accelerating its growth for the sole purpose of assimilating a
human for such an occasion like this."
Suspicion crept into his voice as Darkon continued, "You accelerated its
growth?" Sword nodded. "You realize how haphazard that is?"
Duo: And when you hear something like that, then you KNOW something's
bound to go wrong.
WH: Note how it's the leader who's pointing this out.
When her breathing settled, Darkon walked closer to see that Sword was
changing form. At the moment, Sword's blond hair was starting to darken,
her height was beginning to decrease, and shape of her face was also
changing.
Andrew: Huh? She had black hair in the anime, didn't she?
WH: How was I supposed to know!! (sobs in the corner again)
Not at all concerned, Sword answered, "Nothing to worry, Master. I've
placed several special circuits inside this one to ensure that she does
what
I'm going to tell her. Also, once she does Slade in, I've set the
programming so that once the job is done, she dies. After all, no use in
keeping a rouge around."
Ruri: "Rogue". "Rouge" is the French word for red.
Saito: Aho.
WH: ...must not kill... must not kill...
Saito: As if you could, little man.
Looking back to the unfortunate woman in the pod, Darkon still had doubts
about all this. "Is there any way to escape this programming of yours?"
"No, there's not."
All: SUUUUUURE there isn't.
Iczer-6 [Sword]: There isn't! I'm sure of it!!
Sword's ego shattered and her face paled.
Darkon's dark smile grew. "Don't think you can insult me, Sword. I knew
the very second you intervened for Saber, it was for the sake of trying to
gain my favor." He extended a hand and suddenly, a sharp pain in Sword's
midsection made her convulse and fall to the floor in greater pain than the
change in form did.
Spike: Yeah, the guy's not so stupid. Another reason to like him.
Saito: The Aho certainly made the effort to make sure that he wasn't such at
all.
WH: (grinds teeth)
"Ah! Don't do that! You nearly scared the pants off me!" He snapped,
holding his chest.
Duo: Well, considering the first few episodes, I don't think he'd really
object all that much.
Iczer-6: Slade would.
*****
Back on the moon, a large lahdam pod pulsated rapidly in the incubation
chamber, practically bleeding as the occupant inside got even stronger than
he was. Saber screamed as loud as he could as he felt the upgrade begin to
install itself in his body. The red wires within his skin glowed even
brighter then ever as a greater power instilled itself in him.
Through the red lightning and painful surges of strength, Saber growled,
"Just you wait, Slade... the next time we meet will be your last!"
All: Uh-oh...
WH: (Grins impishly)
End of chapter 5
[Warhammer walks quietly from Saber's chamber.]
WH: Well, isn't this just peachy? While the cat's away, the mice will not
only play, but set a trap for the cat.
Spike: Like I said before, though...
WH: Yeah, yeah, I know/
Anyway; for those who read the first edition of this, you will recognize
next to nothing in the chapter. There are a few things from the original
chapter 5, but not too many.
Jamison's scene with Raye is mere foreshadowing for this story and Z-Tron
Dreams. Also, look for more appearances of Sailor Moon characters in this
fic's in upcoming chapters.
Duo: Still wanna be #1 on the SM fans' most wanted list, eh?
WH: And then some!
I am also aware that Tina's little scene is a definite Star Wars reference,
but it's more of the principle behind it is what makes it make sense. You
keep doing good things according to principle and control your passions,
you
learn and grow more, if you act like the people on MTV do, you're going to
be asking for trouble. :P (In answer to any future questions, no, I don't
like MTV as it is now, only as it was in the 80's. Except for Daria, but I
digress.)
Andrew: Yeah, Daria's a cool show. Problem is, it's hardly ever on while
I'm home.
WH: Tape it if you can! It's worth it!
As in earlier chapters, I'm trying to add more and more character
development between Slade and Star. I like them together, but the fact of
the matter is that I need to make them learn to like each other more before
they can love. I read that in the Robotech novels by Jack McKinney,
believe
it or not.
Next, Tina's new style of dress is due because I really don't like the fact
that a lot of women in anime are not given more clothes to cover
themselves.
Call it strange, call it what you will, but character designers have got
to stop thinking with their hormones. And if this hope for common decency
falls upon deaf ears, I care not, for one day, someone will hear me!
*Poses
dramatically*
Spike: Be drowned out by hormone-filled teenagers, more likely.
WH: Well, I don't care how many actually listen. But what I do care about is
the right people getting it. But that's just me.
I'm also having a ball making up stuff for Darkon's home world race's
superstitions, if you couldn't tell already. ^_^ It's also an excuse to
give Darkon a more interesting persona than he had in the anime.
Andrew: Yeah, making up things like that's a lot of fun.
Saito: Yes, let's pretend the aho here has talent.
(Aeris Gainsborgh from Final Fantasy 7 hops, in but she looks evil, due to
her black jacket, gray skirt, and dark green eyes.)
E. Aeris: Oh, Warhammer.
Yes?
E. Aeris: (with a smile) You're ugly, stupid, a loser, and a failure.
You'll never amount to anything and you can't do a thing to change that.
(Bounces off happily)
Andrew: Now, that seems familiar. It might be her that gets into my head
and tells me things like that from time to time.
WH: (sobs in the corner once more)
Darkon: How did she get out early? She's not supposed to be out until
'Cursed Redemption'! Warhammer... Warhammer? (looks about to see that our
author is gone.) Ah... well, just to make sure... all characters, concepts,
ideas, series, events, and what not, belong to their respective owners. And
since WH's just a poor college student, still looking for work and not
getting anything for doing this, he's not worth suing.
[A short time later, we see Warhammer sobbing in the corner, kneeling with
his face in his hands. Shaking his head, Darkon pats him on the head.]
Andrew: Good chapter. I'll be waiting for the next one.
All: See ya!
WH: Thanks and as soon as I can get some time from school and work to do it,
you'll be happy with the end result.
Heero [to Duo]: Now, about that yaoi... [mischievous glint in eyes]
Saito: Nothing but aho are about me. I'm outta here.
Iczer-6: See ya next time!