ffml-bounce@fanfic.com wrote:
It's Halloween! That means it's time for a little comedy! This fic won
second place in the Pokemon Fanfiction Academy Awards comedy category...
not bad, if I do say so myself.
As the name implies, POKENET is a Pokemon/Dragnet crossover, but you
don't need to know anything about Dragnet to understand it. (I sure
don't... I had to find a website just to remember the opening and
closing!)
Chester: Dragnet is a detective thing?
;^,^;;: (Kurama) What are we doing here? This ain't no newbie!
^_^x: (Kenshin) Ohaiyo, minna! (looks at fic) Wai! Script form... perfect!
C: Hey, Nidoking! Here's an MST for ya!
;^,^;;: Script form, Himura-san? (thinks) Is he really _not_ a newbie?
^_^x: Hey, a disclaimer!
C: Oh right... we had enough flack coming from Hans Holm (hi, guy!) to merit this... ok, here it is:
Mystery Science Theater 3000, characters and situations, are property
of and (c) 2000 by Best Brains. Rurouni Kenshin is the property of Nobuhiro Watsuki and various other companies. Yuyu Hakusho is the rightful property of Yoshishiro Togashi, Shueisha, Fuji TV
and St. Pierrot. Don't sue me please, I'm very poor.
Happy now?
<<snippage throughout>>
POKENET � The Big Egg Scramble
NOTE: The story you are about to read is fake. Made-up. Imagined.
Fiction. The names have been changed, not to protect the innocent (is
anyone, truly, deep in their hearts, purely innocent?)
^_^x: (Misty) My Togepi is as innocent as one can get!
(But deep inside the egg pokemon lies an evil so insidious, so malicious, so dastardly that all will feel horrified at this parody of innocence...)
;^_^;;: (Togepi) tsuki?
but because they�
re funnier this way round.
C: (author) An' that's 'coz I say so! (cracks whip)
^_^x: Ah, yes... a fanfic technique called "tell, not show"
;^_^;;: An effective way to get critics and irritate people!
ASH: This is the city. Pewter, I think, although it could be Saffron. I�
ve forgotten. Anyway, I work here. I�m a cop.
BROCK: Private Investigator.
ASH: Right. I�m a Private Investigator.
C: Canon Ash?
^_^x: Worse... dub Ash.
C: Oh.
This case started on a Monday. I
remember that because I was looking forward to the wrestling match that
night. Unfortunately, something was about to interrupt what should have
been a relaxing day...
The telephone rings, and Ash quickly picks it up.
ASH: Ash Wednesday, Private Ear.
BROCK: Private EYE, Ash.
ASH: I know what I mean, Brock. My hearing�s a lot better than my
eyesight.
^_^x: Definitely dub Ash.
C: (nods vigorously)
BROCK: You just don�t get it, do you? They KNOW what company you�re
using, and they�ll call back. Watch a pro at work.
The phone rings, and Brock picks it up.
BROCK: Hello. Yes, I know all about your company. I�m sorry, but we don�
t have a telephone. (hangs up) That will leave them scratching their
heads for a while.
Ash scratches his head.
C: Heh. Apply dubbed Pokemon logic to the situation.
ASH: But the untimely call had interrupted my peaceful morning, and I
began to wish for something to do now that I�d lost my place in counting
the number of holes in the ceiling.
BROCK: Maybe you could learn to hold your internal monologues silently?
ASH: I can�t do that, Brock. I have a responsibility to the readers to
keep them informed of what I�m thinking.
;^_^;;: It's the author's fault... script form. It's another common newbie tendency, next to (shudder) footnotes. I suggest...
C: Sshhh, Kurama! This ain't SLR NP! He ain't a newbie!
;^,^;;: What quacks like a duck...
^.^x: Is a psyduck? (wham boom trash)... sorry, its all these dub-like poke-jokes...
BROCK: You could inform the readers of what you�re thinking with a blank
page!
ASH:
C: Heh. I completely agree.
;^.^;;: You missed a quote there... maybe ellipses would work bet--
C: Shut up!
There is a knock on the door. Ash dives under the desk.
ASH: Tell them the check�s in the mail!
BROCK: Relax, Ash, it�s probably just a client. (shouting) COME IN!
ASH: It was a girl, a redhead, who looked a little familiar to me...
MISTY: Of course I�m familiar to you, Ash! You came to my Gym just last
week asking about a suspect!
ASH: That�s right, I remember now... I was getting a room at the
Cerulean Holiday Inn when some guy in a fancy suit snatched my keys and
drove off in my car!
MISTY: That would have been the valet...
ASH: Yeah, he told us the same story but we beat a confession out of
him. Right, Pikachu?
PIKACHU: Pika?
C: Heh. So far, I'm liking the story. Any sillier and this whole Mst would go defunct.
^_^x: We usually make it a rule not to go silly with silly fics... what's the point, anywho?
;^_^;;: Speaking of which... Nidoking, the thing is that even if I _ignore_ the fact that this is in script, there's that little issue called OOCness coming from your fic. Granted that it's a crossover, but people tend to not care and since this is mainly a pokefic, I would suggest... IYAAAAAHHHH!!! (wham bam crash boom pika jiggly machop)
ASH: Anyone will cave in to shock therapy.
MISTY: Well, I have a problem. My Togepi is gone! I left it outside
while I went into the Pokemart and when I came out, it wasn�t there!
ASH: Oh. You shouldn�t have left it outside then.
BROCK: Pokemon aren�t allowed into the Pokemarts unless they�re inside
Pokeballs. There�s a place to leave your Pokemon that�s supposed to be
safe, but apparently someone stole the Togepi from it.
ASH: Well, that�s too bad. I hope you find it.
Misty hits Ash over the head with a mallet.
C: Heh. Actually, not far from what the real Ash would say, canon or otherwise (who knows?).
MISTY: You idiot! You�re a detective, right? You�re supposed to find my
Togepi!
ASH: Where did you get that mallet from?
Misty hits him over the head again.
MISTY: We don�t have time to ask stupid questions! We have to get out
there right away! Togepi needs me!
BROCK: Yeah, I�ll bet it feels neglected already...
ASH: At least it hasn�t been hit over the head with a mallet since it
was stolen...
Misty hits Ash over the head again.
ASH: My head�s going to ache for hours, you know.
MISTY: That�s not going to affect your sleuthing ability, since there�s
nothing in there anyway!
ASH: Realizing that sitting around the office wasn�t going to get us
anywhere, I quickly made two important decisions. First, I decided to
get into the car and drive over to the Pokemart to investigate...
BROCK: That�s a great idea, Ash!
MISTY: What�s so great about that idea? Even I could have thought of it!
BROCK: Then why do you need Private Investigators?
C: Heh.
^_^x: The stupidest one was the one who made the most sense.
MISTY: Where are you going? The Pokemart is the other way!
ASH: I know that! I need a big running start!
There is a loud crash from inside the car.
BROCK: Wow! That mallet�s even bigger than the car is! How do you do
that?
There is another crash, similar to the first.
^_^x: (Brock) Why, hello, Mi--
(wham)
C: (Ash) The Togepi is as good as--
(wham)
;^_^;;: (Tracey) What am I doi--
(wham)
(random passerby) Dearie, do you know whe--
(wham)
C: This is just gratuitous. Not that that's a bad thing...
Brock and Misty step into the Pokemart. Ash is about to enter, but
stops to look at the sign on the box, then lifts Pikachu onto the box
and enters the Pokemart. From inside...
^_^x: Not that Pikachu was actually had a great influence in the plot...
C: But I feel Pikachu had been downplayed somewhat... where are the Pikachu POVs? What does Pikachu feel about the situation? He could actualy give perspective into the whole situation...
^.^x;: Oro?
C: Just kidding, just kidding ;P
JENNY: This is going to be such a long investigation...
C: Well, it's been a funny read. It doesn't take itself too seriously, hence the script format... but I have to see the whole series to _really_ give out my verdict.
^_^x: Real silly... can't wait for the Team Rocket part (thinks) actually, the whole time Ash and co. were acting very TR-like.
;^_^;;: Aside from the usual questionable plot, horrid script form, and absolutely OOC characters, there is a lot of room for improvement. I would strongly suggest (wham bam bam thang gang sang mang kang rang hang...)
C: Ignore him.
Ja!
C. Casta�eda
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" where we make things up as we go
along, whether they make sense or badger.
JOHNNY BRAVO: *sigh* The only woman I ever really loved... and she's
gone. I wonder if I'll ever get over - Hey! Nuggets!
JACKIE CHAN: Oh, sorry. I broke your spy camera! (pause) SPY CAMERA?!
My webpage: http://www.rose-hulman.edu/~katinamp
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