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---
"Ah! My Hentai!"
Episode 3: Angst, Sex, Angst, Sex, and Bitchin' Motorcycles
A lemon by Twoflower based on characters by Fujishima Kosuke
(18 and over only, please: very absurd adult material within
in full defiance of plausibility and common sense.)
http://www.bewareofart.com/ahmyhentai
NOTE: New URL! New URL! New URL!
---
ObDisclaimer: The following story does not even bother to represent a
realistic view of relationships and should be taken as 126% fantasy. But if
you didn't know that already, you're probably the sort who thinks Santa Claus
received all those letters you sent over the years and your pony was just
delayed by the US Postal Service.
Remember, in real life, always make sure you have rough unprotected sex with
multiple drug using partners while sharing needles!
---
God's in His heaven, and all's right with the world.
Except for the occasional bug.
Behold, Yggdrasil. The world tree, the summation of existence, the
virtual representation of the spire around which the world rotates. Of
course, these being modern times, the woody and leafy aspects have been
replaced by crystal memory storage banks, fiber optic networking hubs and a
lovely interface that has an eco-friendly 'Recycling Bin'.
To gaze upon it with mortal eyes is to gaze into the heart of
perfection. The spiraling glass towers extend to infinity and back, mobieus
strips upon which all data in the universe is recorded. Colored lights
twinkle and play off every facet of the class, the optical readers which
transfer the information around the spires, making the tides work and
ensuring the sun rises and making sure Kevin Smith keeps making movies.
Everything good and pure in the universe is parsed and compiled by this
computer, the core Turing Machine of reality. Perpetually calculating, never
tiring, with Yggdrasil on the job it can be said that all's right with the
world.
And, as noted, it does have the occasional bug.
Through the beautiful pillars of data and light, a small furry animal
bounces. It's not really an animal, of course; it's a fluffy and adorable
representation of a minor glitch in the works. For a glitch, it sure is
marketably kawaii... making little squeak-squeak noises as it bounces about,
with big buggy eyes and fluffy rabbit ears and six furry legs. It dashes
this way, it dashes that way, it tries to avoid the mallet of the youngest of
the triad of Norns.
*tok* And a dodge. *tok!* And a slide. *WHOOSH* and it ducks.
"Oooooh!" she squealed in frustrating, balling up her hands under her
chin. "This isn't fair! Hold still, you!"
The colorful white and red plastic hammer whisked through the air four
more times, never finding its mark.
The goddess looked at the bug. The bug, which seemed to taunt her as it
scampered about playfully.
The goddess looked at her hammer, which could probably be bought for six
bucks at K-mart's toy department.
Then the goddess tossed it aside, whipped out a twenty pound steel
sledgehammer, and PASTED the little vermin like a vicious game of whack-a-
mole. The crystal floor cracked slightly as all of Yggdrasil reverberated
with the blow. A wet squelch was heard as the bug's insides turned into its
outsides, eyes bursting from the pressure. The bloody remains splattered on
her Doc Martins boots.
"ROCK!" Skuld of the Norns cheered, headbanging while waving around the
sledgehammer, making a little devil sign with the fingers curled around it.
"I TOTALLY fucked you up, you little bastard! HUH? WHO'S THE GODDESS?
WHO'S THE MUTHAFUCKIN' GODDESS NOW?!?"
She brushed her other hand by the volume control of her MP3 walkman,
jacked Limp Bizkit up to 11 and rocked the hell out, air guitaring around the
holy computer with her hammer in proud warrior victory dance mode.
Let us take a moment to examine the vision of holy purity and absolute
divinity that is Skuld of the Norns.
Wearing heavy black boots that are suitable for everything from a
fifteen mile jog to heavy urban wear, they are capable of rendering men
sterile with a simple five mile per hour strike in the right location. Her
socks are a mismatched pair of gray and black, one rolled higher than the
other since the elastic's about dead in the left one.
She wears loose shorts that were made by taking a pair of jeans and
slashing them at about short-level, then wearing them intensely for a period
of three years until they have so many rips and holes as to make them barely
decent. Fortunately she keeps a ragged red flannel shirt tied around her
waist, acting like sort of a cape that covers the more indecent examples of
denim damage.
A midriff concert t-shirt promoting Slipknot hangs easily off her ample
bosom, and does a terrific job at showing off her navel piercing. She wears
a leather jacket that was probably lifted off the set of Happy Days, given
how battered and faded it is now-a-days. A Palm XXVI hangs out of one pocket
a bit loosely, but given the fact that she carries around a sledgehammer and
has a Get Out of Sin Free card, pickpockets might want to find easier quarry.
Portrait of a typical eighteen year old with emotional issues.
Eighteen?
"But wait," the astute may say out loud, because they like to hear their
own voices. "If you crossindex the mythical lore of the Norns with the
proven knowledge of their familial makeup in present day context, it doesn't
make sense for Skuld to be that old. She should be somewhere around twelve,
right? More into cute fashions and hair bows and painting her nails and
N'Sync!"
It's a good thing this Skuld's headphones are jacked up so high that she
can't hear the astute, because you don't stay astute very long after having
you skull caved in for daring to suggest that she should listen to N'Sync.
Given how long she'd been hunting that damn bug, the one that was
continually raising the ratings on 'Survivor' despite it sucking, she felt
the right to a little celebration. She twirled around a few times, as the
song went to a heavy crescendo, and skidded out on the glass floor on her
knees as she jammed the last power chord on the wooden handle of the
hammer...
...and slid to a halt right in front of her boss. Who was tapping his
foot and had his arms crossed, the universal gesture of 'I'm a little upset
with you, young lady.'
Skuld pulled off her headphones. "Whaddya want?" she asked. "I'm busy
here."
"Yes, I can see that," the god spoke, glancing over to the sizeable dent
in the floor. "You DO realize that you caused another bug by using your
heavy debugging tool, yes?"
"A minor one," Skuld replied, getting back to her feet. Her superior
stood a full foot taller than her, but she had a way of glaring up at him
that said she wasn't going to bow and scrape like the other interns. "I'll
hunt it down in a moment. No big whoop, but that OTHER one was a killer, I
had to bust out the big guns, you know?"
"Skuuuuld-chan..."
Skuld's grip tightened on her hammer. She hated that. Always had...
"You understand that the only reason I have you employed in this sector
is as a parting favor to your oldest sister," the god continued walking over
to inspect a layer of dust on one of the crystal towers, frowning in
distaste. "Perhaps you have very promising programming skills, for one so
young... but your style is, shall we say, unorthodox. This is mission
critical software and WE DON'T DON'T GIVE A FUCK AND WE WON'T EVER GIVE A
FUCK 'TILL YOU YOU GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME AND..."
Skuld nodded along to whatever the god was saying, although she'd turned
her music back on a moment ago to drown him out. It was probably the usual
speech about how important it was to stick to the operating procedures and
follow the usual bug-tracking and removal doctrines and so on, yadda yadda
yadda...
Normally she would act like this just to piss off authority in general
(other than THE Authority above all Authorities, of course). But for this
guy, he got a five star dickhead rating from the young goddess. There had
been bad blood between them for a long time now, quite deserved, since even
if she didn't get along well with her oldest sister, family was still
family... and THIS jerk was the one responsible for Urd's depression--
Skuld thumbed the Pause button.
"What was that again?" she asked.
"I was just saying that your sister Belldandy will be on Earth for a few
decades thanks to a contract she formed," he continued. "Since she'll be
busy for so long, maybe it's a good idea for you to take a few days off and
visit her before we get down to the serious debugging. We still don't know
what's causing this recent wave of errors, and furthermore--"
"DECADES?" Skuld blurted, the word finally sinking in. "Oneesama stuck
with a mortal for...? What're you talking about, Loki?!"
"Oh, she signed off on some contract to be a sex slave to a mortal," the
god sighed. "Tragic, really. I wouldn't mind giving you some time off to
visit--"
He found himself talking to a glass of water and a little note reading
'Be back in a few days! Skuld.' She really could move when properly
motivated, he thought.
Loki laughed softly. A swift exit was to be expected, considering how
close Skuld was to her big sister. And with Skuld gone, he could finally get
his work done in peace and quiet. He left the water in place for her return
access, and clapped twice to summon a few minor choir members to fix the
cracks in the floor.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Peace and quiet...
He'd put his foot down in order to achieve it. The hurt expression on
Belldandy's face had been uncomfortable, but there was no way around it --
while in the bathhouse, he HAD to be alone. That was non-negotiable. No
naked goddesses traipsing in and out wanting to scrub his back / wanting to
kick him out so she could shave her legs. Just the quiet echoing slosh of
water, and his own thoughts.
If living with one goddess was hard, living with TWO was a nightmare.
Thankfully Urd had no interest in his body, except when it was an
inconvenience to something she wanted to do. Never get in the way of Urd's
bathroom time, especially if she had been drinking the previous night and
needed to 'pray to the porcelain false idol', as she called it. Keiichi
learned the hard (and messy) way that she didn't care who was sitting on the
least mighty of thrones when that time came. The very memory made him
queasy...
Urd was a bit of a pain, to tell the truth. Now, ever since the beach
episode Keiichi had been realizing HE was a bit of a pain in the ass as well,
but Urd took the cake on being an annoyance. She nearly exhausted his income
by getting drunk and calling 1-900 psychic hotlines just to mock them! And
all those porno tapes she'd rent with HIS Blockbuster card... odds are six
governments were investigating him by this point. Not that Urd seemed to
enjoy the tapes, she just watched them with the same detached boredom one
would have watching the Learning Channel.
And Belldandy... Belldandy was Belldandy. Prancing around the house in
various states of undress, even with her sister around (who didn't seem to
care), constantly trying to seduce him. She'd even taken to wearing little
French maid outfits that French people would have found distasteful. And
there was that incident where she 'accidentally' handcuffed herself to her
bed and needed him to find the key... which was inside a wax candle that he
had to melt in order to...
The towel floating over Keiichi's lap started to rise.
That was the other problem.
'You can't deny that, Keiichi,' Sayoko had told him when she saw that
very same reaction. 'You DO have a libido somewhere in there whether you
like to admit it or not! Whine all you want, you know it to be true.'
He couldn't deny it anymore. He could take the high road all he wanted
in terms of how he acted, but he was a twentysomething college virgin and his
body had a hankering for a hunk of cheesecake.
Keiichi thought maybe after the whole incident at the beach the healthy
thing to do would be to say, "I acknowledge my sexual desires, but I will Do
The Right Thing and not act on them." By removing his previous loose veil of
denial, however, it only meant that now they came raging to the surface quite
often without any way to ignore them.
Each time he thought too hard about Belldandy's antics, his body would
be helpful and provide a very strong reminder of just what it wanted. He
spent a lot of time around the house with his legs crossed or something in
his lap, just to be on the safe side.
Of course, he WAS alone in the bath now... and he had an understanding
with the girls that he was to be left alone at times like these. Which meant
he had an outlet, even if it came in the form of baby shampoo. (Which also
meant that if anybody DID get a look inside his pants these days after his
many baths, they would be blinded by the light reflected from his thoroughly
cleansed youknow, much like the teeth on that one guy from CHIPs did.)
No helping it, Keiichi thought. Better to relieve the pressure now than
make a mistake later. And so, he cleansed all those dirty little thoughts in
a very dirty way which would have Sigmund Freud shaking his head in dismay
while racking up the therapy bills.
Keiichi leaned back in the tub, and took care of business. He tried to
think of some supermodel he saw on TV last night or some babes in a stag film
that Ootaki had brought to the last club meeting (which oddly Hasegawa didn't
mind at all...) but those buxom babelets were little more than fuzzy images
in his mind. Only one image was sharp and detailed, and that was of
Belldandy. Boy, was there a lot of Belldandy imagery to select from; she'd
seen to it that he had a near twenty four hour feed of the stuff...
Belldandy cooking oysters wearing nothing but an apron. Belldandy
dusting the furniture while wearing that little maid suit. Belldandy somehow
changing into a nurse's outfit within seconds of Keiichi asking where the
aspirin was. Belldandy in a catsuit she said she was working on for next
Halloween for some bizarre reason, Belldandy wearing leather gloves and
nothing else in order to clean the oven, Belldandy in her swimsuit at the
beach when she was walking with Keiichi by the sunset...
She was really a nice girl, Keiichi's rather noisy mind spoke up
quietly, while he screwed his eyes shut. If only he could--
The water sloshed a bit more than the wild sloshing it was already
doing. Keiichi opened one eye to see directly up a midriff concert t-shirt,
straight to what was hiding underneath it.
"Oneesama, I'm here!" Skuld announced, looking around. A bathroom?
Strange. "Oneesama? Hello? I got the coordinates right, didn't--"
Keiichi's body picked exactly the wrong time to finish what it started,
and exactly the wrong trajectory.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"You hear that?" Urd asked, leaning back on the couch and swirling some
sake around in her bottle.
Belldandy looked up from collecting the empties. "Hear what, oneesan?"
"Sounded like screaming and yelling and someone shattering bathroom
fixtures with a ball-peen hammer."
"Hmmm... no, I don't think so. Sounded more like a sledgehammer."
"Oh. Must just be my ears," Urd said, wiggling a finger in one.
...both thought about that for a moment.
There was a frantic scrambling as they both tried to get through the
door at the same time.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Eyecatch sequence of a SD-Skuld having sex with an SD-Fred Durst)
Ah! My Hentai is brought to you by the letters L and F, and the number 42.
Not for sale or rent. Contents may be harmful if ingested.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The bath house was already an inch deep in water when the goddesses
arrived. Fixtures had been shattered, porcelain dust hanging in the air in
thick clouds. Jagged bits of what used to be the sinks and bathtub floated
on the surface like tiny ice floes just looking for a ship carrying Leonard
DiCaprio to sink.
Keiichi, who was not used to strange women trying to kill him with big
hammers, cowered in the corner covered in nothing but suds and pleaded for
his life. "ItwasanaccidentI'msorry!" he thusly pleaded.
The young goddess ignored him, raising her hammer 'o might high in the
air. "PERVERT! I'm gonna send you to another dimension! How DARE you--"
"SKULD!"
Her attention flicked from her impending victim to a harried looking
Belldandy. In true bipolar glory, Skuld downshifted from rage to delight,
completely ignoring Keiichi as she ran to embrace her sister. (Dropping the
hammer in the process, so as not to offer a concussion along with the hug.)
Belldandy wobbled a little at the impact, but kept her footing. Urd
simply stood by, leaning in the doorframe and looking vaguely amused.
"ONEESAMA!(*)" Skuld cried out. "I was so worried! I heard that... and
you were... and I came here and...and... that WEIRDO shot his wad on me!!"
* dearest most wonderful and
adored big sister of mine, wai
Kill me now, Keiichi thought, trying to avoid the awkward stares (and
the Curiously Perked Eyebrow of Urd, patent pending). Just send a lightning
bolt from the heavens and... on second thought, that was actually possible
now, he realized. Any thoughts of self-detonation ended right there, coupled
with a small unspoken prayer for mercy.
Belldandy was the first one to break the silence, not sure how best to
handle the situation beyond introductions. "Ah... Keiichi-sama, this is my
sister Skuld. Skuld, this is--"
"Is that the mortal bastard who contracted you to be a sex slave?!"
Skuld demanded to know. She dove forward to grab her hammer, only restrained
by Belldandy keeping a good grip on her arm. "How dare you enslave my
oneesama this way?! I hope you know I pack a chainsaw, pal! I'll skin your
ass raw!!"
"Skuld, please!" Belldandy begged, holding her sister back from
unloading the pain on Keiichi's person. "I can explain! I'm not here against
my will!"
That gave the younger goddess sufficient pause. "What?!"
"I accepted the contract," Belldandy informed. "You have to understand,
Skuld... Keiichi-sama and I--"
"You ACCEPTED it? You accepted a contract like that? What in Heaven's
name were you... dammit. Not here. Come on."
The iron grip on her arm also served as a great way for Skuld to drag
her sister off for a little heart to heart. Things went from loud and
uncomfortable to quiet and uncomfortable quickly, with only the sound of
dripping water to fill the bathhouse.
Keiichi looked at Urd.
Urd looked at Keiichi.
"Nice package," she commented.
Keiichi's hands flew to cover his unit.
"I... think I'd better dry off and get back to work," he suggested.
"Erm. Lot to do, and all. Right."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Meanwhile...
Meanwhile, things were going down in the evil lair of Sayoko's dorm
room. If there was a camera here, it would have a Dutch tilt, much like a
Batman villain's lair. After all, the same plotting and scheming was going
on, even if it was punctuated with lots and lots of hot yuri luvluv.
Oddly, Sayoko was tiring of the constant stream of kinky and
occasionally battery operated lesbian sex. At first it was new and exciting,
and Hasegawa was a surprisingly inventive lover (it's always the quiet ones,
she realized). However, after about seventy eight hours of hot and heavy
lust and carnal exploration, it had become as repetitive as... well, as her
exploits with the boys around campus previously.
So as she relaxed in her dorm bed while being serviced quite
masterfully, she wasn't thinking "Oh kami(*) oh kami yes yes more ooh just
like that yeah that's good," she was thinking "I believe I have the most
uninteresting ceiling in all of Eastern Civilization." * Mick Foley
Plus, she was drifting back to plotting her plan that would destroy the
bond between Keiichi and Belldandy.
"It doesn't make sense," she pondered aloud. "This should be easy. And
yet, I can't think of a guaranteed scheme..."
Hasegawa looked up from her ministrations no minister would approve of.
"Ano?(*)" * wtf?
"Belldandy and Keiichi," Sayoko explained, motioning for her to sit up.
"I must destroy them in order to become popular again!"
"Ah..." Hasegawa started, wiping her chin and looking a bit unsure.
"You know I'd never question anything, mistress..."
"Speak freely," Sayoko ordered, scooting up to sit more properly.
"Why do you want to do that?"
"Why? Because she wouldn't like it."
"So?"
"So that'll make her unhappy!"
"Why is that important?"
"Because it'll make her stop being popular," Sayoko explained. "I have
a very well thought out plan. Step one is to break up Belldandy and Keiichi.
Step three is that she stops being popular. It makes perfect sense!"
"But what's step two?"
"Quiet, slave."
Perhaps working by herself, she would be unable to achieve her goal.
Keiichi had resisted her irresistible charms; he was truly a man capable of
controlling himself. Either that, or...
A wicked smile crossed Sayoko's lips.
"I believe I know who I can work with," she announced. "Get cleaned up
and dressed, Hasegawa-chan. I believe it's time I grant my cousin a little
visit. OOOHOHOHOHHOOO!"
"OOHOOHO!" Hasegawa laughed.
"...I'd rather that you not do that again, Hasegawa. It's gimmick
infringement."
"My apologies, mistress."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Few mortals have seen the inside of Belldandy's bedchambers. This is
partly because the only mortal in the temple was Keiichi, and partly because
it exuded an aura of fierce, tawdry lust that frightened off men (and women)
of lesser courage.
The entire temple had 70's swinging pad atmosphere, but this particular
room laid it on with a spatula the size of Des Moines. Lava lamps were the
only source of light, and they played off the glow in the dark crushed velvet
paintings of naked men (and women) with colored radiosity beyond compare.
Entire shelves were dedicated to Belldandy's sex toy collection, which
included a few choice items thought to have perished with the collapse of
ancient cultures. Some of the fertility idols could probably impregnate you
if you looked too hard at them. Even if you were male.
And yet, Skuld was entirely unsurprised by the decor. After all, it was
pretty tame compared to Belldandy's home upstairs.
"...and that's the story," Belldandy finished, since you're supposed to
say 'And that's the story' to clue people in who didn't hear the whole story
that you just finished a story, specifically 'the' story. "That's why I'm
here, and that's why I'm in this contract. And that's why Keiichi isn't the
menace you think he is."
Skuld weighed it all quite carefully before chucking the scale out the
window. "Putting the male pig aside... Belldandy-oneesama, how could you
enter this contract without fighting it?"
"It's always been my dream, Skuld. You know that. And he's such a
wonderful young man, I--"
"You have any idea how long you're going to be here? Years. Decades!
You'll be an old maid when you finally get back to Heaven!" Skuld protested.
"This is SO unfitting of a goddess, man... it's just... it's just fucked up,
that's what it is. Look, if you're worried about your spotless record, I can
make a few hacks and still keep it looking spotless. With all the bugs in
the system lately, nobody would notice!"
"I said this is about more than the contract, Skuld. Keiichi is...
wonderful," Belldandy said, unable to find a better word. "He's simply
wonderful. He's everything I've ever wished for, even if he has a few issues
to work out, but I'm sure if I keep trying and I keep showing my love, he'll
come around--"
"That's bullshit," Skuld accused. "Mark my words, he's going to be
either a complete pussy, or worse... he'll be like Loki."
"He's not like that--"
"How do you know? Urd didn't clue into what Loki really was until it
was too late. She kept holding on and hoping he'd change, that he'd become
what she was looking for. You could end up doing that, and wasting your life
hoping for something that just ain't THERE, oneesama... and it'll hurt you
just as much as it hurt her! Come on, open your eyes! I can't believe you
could be this... this dense! This is so fucking RIDICULOUS, and... and..."
Skuld halted her tirade. She recognized that look from Belldandy... her
sister pulling back, nervous and frightened. Raising your voice at her
always spooked her a bit, and Skuld's temper could be a little hard to
wrangle when she got passionate about something...
Quickly forcing some calm into her mood, Skuld tried to placate.
"Oneesama... I'm sorry. It's okay, I'm not trying to be mean here. I'm just
worried for you, okay? I know Urd worries too in her own little distant way,
but you and I... we've always been close, right?"
"Yes... yes, we always have," Belldandy said, coming back from her
nervousness.
"Right. And... okay, I guess I'm also a little selfish here, since...
it's lonely up there without you. You and Urd," Skuld added, figuring it was
obligatory. "I don't get along with my idiot boss, and my co-workers think
I'm an irresponsible brat, and I don't really have anything to do with myself
beyond my job... I'm totally alone. Nobody understands me but you. With you
trapped down here, maybe forever, I just... I..."
Skuld rested on her sister's shoulder, as Belldandy pulled her into a
warm, comforting hug. (She sniffled lightly, refusing to allow herself to
really cry; it didn't fit her tough motif, not in the slightest.)
"Shhh," Belldandy whispered. "It's okay, Skuld. I know you're worried
for me, and you're lonely... but you have to have faith. I believe where I
am, what I'm doing, this is all right. This is good. And you don't have to
feel alone... no matter what her future holds, no matter what happens with
Keiichi-sama, I'll always be there for my imoutochan(*)..." * widdle sis
Brushing her hair aside, Belldandy kissed Skuld gently on the forehead.
A caring gesture.
After a few moments, she then kissed Skuld lightly on the lips. That
kiss lasted much longer, as Skuld started to slip the leather jacket off her
shoulders...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Building a motorcycle from scratch takes focus, discipline, and careful
attention to detail. After recent events, Keiichi had little focus, had lost
all his discipline, and was being careless. He was just too rattled to get
back to work, no matter how hard he tried.
Not that skipping the work was an option. Tamiya and Ootaki had saddled
him with the entire job of preparing the bike for tomorrow's season opening
races, and he'd be up all night regardless of how fast he worked or how much
he stalled. Perhaps taking this break was only a silent murmuring protest at
his treatment. Or maybe he was just thirsty.
He slumped past Urd, who was ensconced on the couch as usual. Urd gave
a little wave, while keeping her eyes on the pay-per-view movie she was
watching on Keiichi's credit line.
He opened the fridge, and found the last can of soda. Pressing it to
his forehead to cool off a bit, he fetched an individually wrapped Twinkie,
and closed the door.
He walked past the slightly ajar door to Belldandy's room, where she was
busy making love to her sister, and returned to work.
Or would have, if the former hadn't distracted him completely from the
latter.
The door was only open a crack, but he'd walked up to it at the perfect
angle to see everything. 'Everything' meaning, to wit, EVERYTHING.
Skuld was laid back on the futon in the center of the room, grasping at
the quilts with both hands as she squirmed and writhed... while Belldandy
nuzzled up next to her, showering her sister's neck with light kisses. Their
legs were intertwined in a way that made it hard to tell what leg belonged to
which woman, while Belldandy's hand was pressed firmly at the nexus of
Skuld's thighs... moaning escaping from the younger woman's lips with each
pumping stroke of the wrist, locked into a loop of arching her back and going
flat, lifting from the sweat-soaked futon and dropping back to it...
Stroking her leg up and down against Skuld's, Belldandy was content to
pleasure her sister, using her other arm to fondle that nicely rounded chest,
teasing each nipple, as the two rocked towards--
He was staring, wasn't he? Keiichi forced himself to jerk his eyes away
from the scene as he felt all the blood rushing to his heads. Dazed and
confused, long having since dropped his Twinkie, he staggered back into the
living room.
"............" he explained.
Urd looked up from filing her nails. "Problem, Keiichi?"
"B... Beee.... Belldandy..." Keiichi started... and snapped an
accusatory pointing hand towards the door. "Belldandy and Skuld are--!
They're--!"
"Going at it like minks?" Urd suggested, returning to her manicure.
"!!!!" Keiichi punctuated.
"They've always been very close," Urd explained, glancing back to him.
"Hey, you gonna eat that Twinkie? I could use a sugar rush about now. GOD,
it's boring around here sometimes..."
"They're--! They're--!!"
"Do you have a point to make, or do you just like talking in sentence
fragments?" Urd asked, getting a little irritated.
"I... I can't believe they're doing that!" Keiichi said, finally
uttering a full line of dialogue. "I mean... that's so disgusting! They're
sisters, for crying out loud!"
Quietly, ever so quietly, Urd set the nail file down. "Disgusting, is
it...?"
"Well, of course! I know Belldandy's a pervert, but man, I didn't think
she was that sick. She--"
"Where the hell do you get off calling her a sick, disgusting pervert?"
Urd spoke softly, but without moving a single muscle other than her lips.
"Hmmm? Is it your righteous side that jerks off in the bath that's talking
now? Or maybe the old softie romantic in you that wants a woman who cooks
and cleans and sits in an ivory tower having constant candlelit dinners with
you?"
All the fire drained out of Keiichi's spirit. "Uh... I didn't mean to
imply that, err--"
"Yes, actually, you did," Urd spoke, rising to stand intimidatingly
taller than Keiichi. "You never want to imply it, you never want to say it
directly to her face, but you despise my sister, don't you? You like some
things about her, sure, but you despise those little bits that don't fit your
ideal world. So she's close to Skuld, and they've got their own way of
expressing how they feel. So what? So what if that doesn't mesh with your
dream chick? You know, Keiichi, I've been letting you slide because I'd
hoped you'd come around on your own or that she'll realize what you really
are... you want to talk disgust? You disgust ME."
Keiichi shirked under that gaze, feeling quite tiny. "...uh..."
"I got tough news for you, kid: real women don't work like that," Urd
continued. "I hate it when men project what they think I should be onto the
real me. Nobody belongs on a pedestal! People are strange little creatures,
mortal or immortal. They do what they feel, they're guided by their hearts
more often than their heads, and it's judgmental little bastards like you
that make them feel awful for just trying to be themselves. You know how
much my sister has been torn up inside because you refuse to make the attempt
at understanding who she really is? You know how depressed she's been these
last few weeks? She....."
The goddess fell silent... before turning her back on the boy.
"Forget it. I'm not getting into this right now; you're more trouble
than you're worth," she decided. "I'm outta here."
Operating on pure involuntary instinct, Keiichi's distant voice chimed
in. "Where are you going?"
"A bar, I guess. Somewhere else," she said, walking to the door and
fetching her overcoat. "Get back to work, assemble your tricycle, and keep
dreaming of your nonexistent perfect woman."
The door didn't slam behind her, but it really wanted to.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
ang-strom (ngstrm)
n. Abbr. angst, A
A unit of length equal to one hundred-millionth (10-8) of a centimeter, used
especially to specify radiation wavelengths. Also called angstrom unit.
angst
n.
an acute but unspecific feeling of anxiety; usually reserved for
philosophical anxiety about the world or about personal freedom.
It's a little known fact that angst is both a particle and a wave, and
both are tracked by specialized subroutines coded in Yggdrasil. (Ironically,
Skuld was responsible for most of the advanced psychosomatic packet sniffing
algorithms, since logically one who's an expert on dark teenage mood swings
is an ideal designer of analytical tools to study them.)
The Everything Tree is capable of measuring personal depression with a
precision of 0.0001 angstroms, and can cross-reference with trauma and pain
in order to provide the most accurate reflection of personal tragedy
mathematically possible.
There are some who say that this whole quantification process is a load
of rubbish, since the hand of the Lord works in mysterious ways and we can
never truly comprehend the universe down to such a finite level. Any
attempts to do so are merely emotional crutches which make us say "Well,
alright then, we've got this mess sorted out see that we don't. Who's up for
doughnuts?" Of course, these are the sorts of people who have very low
angstrom counts to begin with and don't feel the need to question such
matters, the smarmy bastards.
For purposes of illustration, we will now examine the unbearable
heavyness of being for the three Norns and the young man who accidentally
enslaved one of them. Please note that these counts are unusually high, due
to relative events in the Temple indirectly related to Skuld's arrival (see
index points 45.14, 45.19, and 45.20 for further information.) For
reference, normal people exude 1.0 Angstroms during ordinary daily activity
(due to basic human existential crisis, the aging process, and other
miscellaneous problem points taken on an average value).
Belldandy: 1.24 Angstroms. Although a little worried about Skuld, Belldandy
is otherwise feeling quite happy, basking in the afterglow of the special
relationship she shares with her youngest sister. She's blissfully unaware
of Urd's recent scathing commentary, nor of Keiichi's sinking despair. Her
Angstrom count is equivalent to finding out your pet goldfish died yesterday.
Skuld: 3.48 Angstroms. This is normal for her; being the most emotional of
the three, no matter how hard she tries to be cool and logical, even a
relieving release of sexual tension can't cut her angstroms. Her sister is
in a bad situation, no matter how much she claims to be quite well, and her
mind can't not think about it. Her Angstrom count is equivalent to breaking
up with your longtime boyfriend/girlfriend/animalfriend, and finding out
he/she/it gave all your stuff to the Salvation Army.
Keiichi: 5.14 Angstroms. As he joylessly works on assembling his motorcycle
frame, his mind keeps playing back Urd's words like a broken record or, in
more modern terms, a busted answering machine. Long since wobbling in and
out of denial about his emotions, denial is taking a holiday and leaving him
buck naked to the harsh winter winds of reality while coming up with poetic
metaphors such as this, as the mind is prone to do in a bout of depression.
His Angstrom count is equivalent to having the first six Black Sabbath albums
playing in your head simultaneously.
Urd: 7.58 Angstroms. Having realized that Belldandy and Keiichi are not
headed towards good things and feeling absolutely powerless to stop this, Urd
rocks back and forth like an autistic child in a futile rage of despair.
Taking into account how much she values her family's happiness, this is
equivalent to discovering that you just accidentally pushed the button that
released an airborne Ebola virus into twenty major cities around the world.
Urd's level of Angst is absolutely intolerable for mortals without
intravenous injection of hard drugs. For a goddess, getting completely
sauced will do just as well.
Unfortunately for her, she's about to emit an extra two or three
Angstroms due to an unforeseen encounter.
"Heyy, baby!" Ootaki called out, sliding up alongside Urd. "Don't I
know you from somewhere? Heaven better do a head count, 'cause I think
they're short one angel! Wanna come have a drink with me?"
That wasn't it.
Urd punched the boy across the jaw, regardless.
"Is that a no?" Ootaki asked, his alcohol-addled brain not registering
the wicked left hook just yet.
"I'm having a bad day, kid," Urd said as politely as she could. "Maybe
next time, okay?"
"Fair enough," Ootaki said before collapsing into a little heap of
unconscious agony at Urd's feet.
The situation thus far, Urd thought to herself, since she couldn't keep
herself from mulling over it. Belldandy wants what Keiichi doesn't want who
wants what Belldandy isn't providing. Skuld is pissed at Keiichi and wants
what Belldandy doesn't want. Urd wants what none of them are probably
capable of: to get along and be happy.
And what's more, she just made the situation even worse by dumping all
over Keiichi. Maybe it's best to break up the relationship before they keep
feeling that pain, but the agony from the harsh break is going to hurt just
as bad... and it was all her fault, of course. (No, not ALL her fault, but
it felt better in a bad way to think that it was all her fault. That's how
angst works, and she knew enough about emotions to know that, and to know she
couldn't not think that way because that's the way it works.)
There was only one thing to do.
"Bartender, I'll take another sake(*)," she said, nudging the empty
bottle off the bar, letting it crash on the floor below. "And HOT this time,
none of this lukewarm shit--" * tractor engine
"How hot would you like it?" someone who was not the bartender said.
That was the unforeseen encounter. Urd immediately radiated an extra
three Angstroms. She'd have slugged him like she did to Ootaki, but the
additional depression added a Why-Bother-With-Anything angle to her problems.
"The fuck do you want?" Urd slurred, not looking directly at the god.
"Really, Urd, you have anger issues," Loki chided, also not looking at
the goddess he was sitting next to. "This self-destructive behavior isn't
really helping anyone, especially not yourself. But that's always been your
modus, hasn't it? I kept suggesting you seek help--"
"Like you sought help, Loki?" she asked. "You pranked the universe on
eighty four occasions, killed your own son, and ended up tied in his entrails
underground while your dead wife poured acid in your eyes for eternity."
Loki made a face at the mention of that unpleasantness. "Now, you know
full well that my lawyers were able to settle that out of court as long as I
sought therapy. That was CENTURIES ago, Urd. I'm a well adjusted man now--"
"Well adjusted. Well... adjusted... you fuck. You fucking asshole,"
Urd cursed. "Where do you get off claiming that? You're the one who did
this to me!"
"Did what?" Loki asked. "I really don't see how our relationship led
directly to your current problems. Blowing this all out of proportion,
aren't we? You're the one who decides how to handle life, not me. We're all
responsible for our own emotional states of being. However, I will concede
one point... mistakes were made. Perhaps I didn't approach our affair with
the right mindset, but that's all in the past, isn't it? The first part of
healing is acceptance. Acceptance of mistakes so we can embrace a brighter
future--"
"Get away from me, you freak," Urd grumbled, leaning away from him.
"You won't be embracing anything of mine for aeons, going onto eternity. I
already told you I'd have nothing more to do with you again, so hit the
road!"
"...I came here on business, you realize," Loki spoke, a slight tone of
annoyance creeping into his voice. "A simple matter, but quite key. The
Chibi-Urd you left upstairs is doing well but it lacks your credentials. I
need your authorization to run an advanced archival bugtrack trace."
Urd tried to focus through the waves of rage. "A what?"
"I'm in charge of finding who's responsible for the recent wave of
bugs," Loki informed her. "It's a difficult job for a middle management type
such as myself. Unfortunately, records over a week old aren't available to
my clearance. I need you to open them for me so I can find the first bug,
the root of all these problems."
Judgement is the first thing to go after this much sake.
"If I give you the clearance, will you go away for at least six hundred
years?" Urd asked.
"You have my word."
"Right. That and a quarter will get you a phone call..."
Reaching inside the sleeve of her tastefully fashionable blouse, Urd
withdrew a small silvery spark of light. She let it dance on one finger,
before passing it over to Loki... careful not to actually touch the man's
skin, lest she feel the urge to relieve him of it. (The skin.)
"There. Now, just... go away, Loki," Urd nearly begged, lacking the
energy to get properly angry anymore. "You're not who I wanted to see
tonight. My sister's having problems and... just go away."
"Say no more, I'll take my leave. Give your sister my love," Loki
spoke, with a smile.
"You don't have any to give."
She didn't bother to watch as he faded from view. Hopefully, she'd
never have to look at him again...
A single hand grasped the edge of the bar. It pulled the rest of Ootaki
up next, as he slumped into the other seat next to Urd.
"Hey," Urd greeted, feeling guilty enough to owe the boy an apology.
"Sorry about knocking you out there. I've been having a real bad day."
"I've been thrown from a moving bike more times than I can... than...
I've been hit on the head a lot," Ootaki summarized, eyes having trouble
focusing as he leaned heavily on the bar. "No big deal. Hey... who was that
guy?"
"...you heard us talking?" Urd asked. If this mortal had heard deities
talking, when the general procedure was to keep Heaven's nature a secret...
"Mostly," Ootaki said. "You don't like that guy, huh?"
"If the word 'hate' was inscribed on every blade of grass in field,
it'd... I'd... be ripping off Harlan Ellison. No, I don't like him."
"Seemed okay to me--"
"Yes, he does. He seems okay to everybody. He seemed okay to me, too,"
Urd explained. What the hell, if she was this messed up, she might as well
unload on the kid... "Not just okay, but actually drop dead romantic. And he
was; we had some really great times together. He was always so cool, so
together, so totally in control..."
"Like me, babe!"
"Nooo... not quite," Urd said, shivering slightly, not looking at
anything in particular as her memory spiraled backwards... "He could also
be... very unpleasant. So calmly unpleasant, just as calmly as he could be
pleasant. He could hurt you and do it so reasonably that you felt like it
was your fault in the first place and he was right. Or you'd keep thinking,
he was just having a bad day, it doesn't happen that often, he apologized the
next day and treated me really well so it won't happen again, and then it
would happen again. And again and... and nobody but your sisters would
believe you since he was always so reasonable when they saw him, because they
didn't know that side of him..."
"Wh... hey, waitaminute," Ootaki spoke, thinking back. "Didn't... you
tell me about this guy? When we were at the beach! That's the punk!? I'll
beat the crap out of him for you!"
"It's a nobly savage sentiment, but no," Urd said, pushing her fresh
sake aside. "Nothing can be done about it. I did the only thing I could do;
I broke up with him once I realized he was never going to change... and it
took me over a year to realize that. ...and it might take even longer for
Belldandy to realize that. Unless I'm wrong about him. I don't know. I
just don't know anymore..."
Ootaki draped a comforting arm around Urd's shoulders. "Hey, that's
some heavy stuff, babe. Look, me and my friends are over in the booth there,
pre-celebrating our big race win tomorrow... come on, forget all this. Let's
have a good time. Throw your troubles to the winds and race towards a
brighter tomorrow in the glorious sunset of our... uh... towards the bold
future of the next era of... just come on, it'll be fun."
"I want to," Urd said, surprising herself with the admission. "I really
do. It's better to drink to forget in a care-free way rather than drink to
forget in a depressing way. ...but I think I'd better go home. I gotta talk
to Keiichi again. See if this is really doomed, or if I'm just reading Loki
into him."
"Denied again," Ootaki bemoaned, only hearing the bits relevant to
himself. He slipped from his stool and straightened his leather jacket.
"Hey, you change your mind, I'll be over there. You dig? Or at the Nekomi
Golden Hammer races tomorrow."
Urd pondered that. "I'll be there. But no promises, kid."
"Right on!" Ootaki cheered, pumping a fist in the air. He turned to
walk back to his pals. "YOSH!(*) Onward to victory!" * oosha(@)!
@ doshta doshta(#)!
# raishu($)!
$ rauraurauraurau(%)!
% yayouze! ^_^
Settling up her bill with one of Keiichi's credit cards, Urd pushed away
from the bar. She staggered two steps before realizing this wasn't going to
work, and snapped her fingers, casting a light sobriety spell.
Stabilized, she walked out of the bar just as Sayoko, Hasegawa and a
stranger were walking in. Even if she had noticed, she wouldn't have cared;
more important things were ahead of her.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
To make a gross generalization with no foundation in reality, there are
two kinds of people in this world: those who work to be distracted from their
problems, and those whose problems distract them from work. Keiichi was
discovering much to his horror that he was the latter sort.
The race was a little over twelve hours away, and his bike wasn't nearly
ready. This wasn't like assembling a pup tent on a camping trip, where you
buy some yuppie-compliant kit with easy to follow instructions like Put Tab A
into Slot B -- and if it was, it wouldn't help since putting tabs into slots
was too reminiscent of recent problems.
No, concentrating on Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance while
trying not to think about your relationship issues was impossible for him.
Every few minutes he'd take a measurement or do a calculation, maybe tighten
a bolt or two... but the rest of the time he'd stare into space, mind
wandering all over the interior landscape of emotional issues.
His thinking went like this :
Urd was right. Absolutely right. He knew he was having trouble
accepting Belldandy, even after telling himself at the tail end of their
beach vacation that he'd make a better effort at it. What effort had he
made? He'd redoubled his efforts to avoid making an effort.
But if he did give it a try... would it even work? He wasn't quite sure
how Urd figured it out, but she was right; he was looking for the perfect
woman. And at some level, some rational part of him knew that was
impossible. He kept looking anyway... looking everywhere other than
Belldandy, who disgusted him.
A headache started to build, as he squinted his eyes shut. He didn't
WANT to think that way. It was unbelievably mean, and really vicious -- he
wasn't a mean person, and he shouldn't be judging people like that. He
couldn't avoid judging, however. Belldandy's perversions just didn't mesh up
with...
Or did they? She said when she first got here that somewhere deep
inside, he wanted this. His body kept reminding him with routine stiffies
that he had no real objections. And the whole problem with Skuld might not
have been as intense if he hadn't been busy fantasizing about Belldandy. Or
about Skuld and Belldandy and him and...
That thought forced him to sit back and focus on breathing steadily for
a few moments. Not that he should have gotten quite excited at that stray
thought; it wasn't like him to--
Wait a minute.
It wasn't?
Wasn't he just thinking about his quite physical reaction to all the
come-ons, and was fantasizing actively and thinking about this stuff all over
the place? Now he'd just added Skuld to those thoughts. How did Skuld fit
into this if the problem was his acceptance Belldandy? Why did he get a
woody when Sayoko was seducing him if this was about Belldandy?
Simple: HE was the problem, not them. They weren't even involved.
"Holy crap," Keiichi almost cursed. (Even his epiphanies were mild-
mannered.)
This wasn't as simple as 'him accepting Belldandy', or even 'him looking
for the perfect woman'. HE was the one with the problem, because every time
something sexual popped up, he refused to fully acknowledge enjoying it.
Maybe he could think 'Okay, my body seems to want this' but he'd staunchly
defend his refusal from some high ground regardless.
Belldandy wasn't innately disgusting -- he was the one who was
disgusted, so it was his problem. Urd had said it directly to his face, but
he had been looking at it from the wrong angle, that there wasn't really
something wrong with him.
He had gotten past puberty, right? He'd done the whole thing about
getting the hair where hair was not previously, he'd seen the educational
audio filmstrips, he was knowledgeable about general sexuality. Despite all
that, here he was acting like a kid who was afraid of the cooties.
Belldandy, Urd, Skuld, Sayoko, whoever, whatever... they were just triggers.
He was the gun that denied it was firing. The tree that didn't want to admit
it had fallen in the woods and made a sound. He was the metaphor that
refused to mix.
When you get right down to it, so what if Belldandy and Skuld have a
relationship like that? The inner hentai buried deep within Keiichi's soul
kinda dug girl on girl action; even the sensitive feminine side of him knew
that the two had an emotional bond which ran deep and thus was not a terrible
thing. So what if Belldandy was into tons of kinky sex? The only reason he
hadn't accepted that was because he didn't want to admit he liked the idea in
a raw sort of way. After all, the very first night they met, HE was the one
who gave her a protein shake -- it's not like he rejected her outright.
...and he had actually thought up the term 'protein shake', which was
NOT something Keiichi 'should' think of.
Keiichi stared into space with his jaw a little slack, like someone who
just saw the sailboat in the random dot stereogram. It took a few prods from
Belldandy before he snapped back to reality.
"Wha? Who? Huh? Errr..." Keiichi stumbled, like an engine trying to
turn over on a cold morning. "B-Belldandy?"
"I brought you some tea," Belldandy said, holding up the kettle and a
pair of cups. "It's getting cold out here, and since you're working so late,
you need a little energy."
"Oh! Ah. Thank you," he said, accepting the cup of tea and holding the
cup numbly as she poured. Trying to shift gears from Massive Ponderance to
Everyday Life was like trying to jam the stick from first to fifth gear while
in the middle of a race, and had similar end results. He held his cup for
half a minute before realizing he was supposed to be drinking from it.
Belldandy sipped at her own tea, looking up at the stars.
Keiichi slugged back half his tea like whiskey from a shotglass.
In the distance, a dog barked.
"It's quiet," Keiichi stated obviously.
"Ano?"
"It's quiet. Not too many quiet moments around the temple, really. But
I like the ones I do get. ...I mean, not that I want you to be quiet or
anything, I uh... I just mean..."
"It's okay, Keiichi-sama," Belldandy said with a smile. "I know what
you mean. I like it quiet and peaceful too, really. Um. About my
sister..."
"Huh? Oh, Skuld. Ah... she's not real happy about all this, is she?"
"No... she isn't. She's young, and we're very close sist-- ano, you
spilled your tea."
It's one thing to decide 'From now on, I will fully accept my own
sexuality' and another thing to actually do it after having no practical
practice or training. Keiichi fumbled his cup and caught it before it hit
the ground... then crossed his legs firmly. After all, this was probably not
a good moment to start generously exercising his free sexual will, especially
since he'd have to admit he was spying on them...
"Ah... very close... right," Keiichi said, purging that mental image for
the time being. He offered his cup for a refill. "Go on."
"Uh, hai... I just wanted to say that you don't need to worry about
Skuld. She's just afraid she's going to lose touch with me-- careful, you
almost spilled your tea again-- but she won't. After all, it's not like she
can't visit. My place is here, Keiichi-sama. I want to stay by your side
forever--"
"AHEM."
Both goddess and 'master' did the glancing over the shoulder thing, as
the youngest goddess approached, tapping her foot and crossing her arms all
annoyed-like.
"Oneesama. Keiichi," she kinda greeted.
"Ah... Skuld-san, hello," Keiichi spoke, giving a weak little wave of
greeting. "How are you?"
Skuld leaned down, and peeeeeered right into Keiichi's eyes. Again,
despite deciding that from now on he'll be accepting of himself and all, he
whimpered inside under the scrutiny of that gaze. (He also began wondering
if his epiphany was worth the paper it wasn't printed on if he wasn't able to
change his life immediately with it.)
"Instead of destroying you I'm gonna let you off with a warning, for
Belldandy's sake," Skuld informed him. "But one mistake, 'Keiichi-sama', and
I can slash your credit rating while hacking you onto the FBI's most wanted
list in less than a minute! Oneesama, I'm going to finish up some coding and
go to bed. I'll be in the guest room."
Stomping away hard enough to splinter a few floorboards, Skuld returned
to her room and slammed the door shut. A hanging picture of Hugh Heffner
slid askew from the impact.
Belldandy sighed, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, Keiichi-sama... I tried
explaining things, but I don't know if she'll ever fully accept us."
"It's okay... I know how she feels," Keiichi said, watching her go.
"But... I think she'll come around eventually. I hope. And I have a kid
sister too, I know how emotional they can get. Um. ...you really love your
sister, don't you?"
"I love all my family, Keiichi-sama."
"No no, I mean... you REALLY love your sister, right?"
"Pardon?" Belldandy said, cocking her head to the side curiously.
"...nevermind," Keiichi said, too itchy to probe further. "Urd's right,
I guess it's not really important..." He switched to a warm smile. "You
should probably get some rest too. I've got a few more hours of work to do
here, and it'd all be pretty boring to sit around watching. Thanks for the
tea, though."
"But don't you need some help installing the twin-engine?" Belldandy
asked, leaning forward to check how tight Keiichi's nuts were. (On the
motorcycle.) "A little extra muscle might help get these bolts in more
firmly. Plus, the casing mounts are going to need load balancing, and that's
easier if you have a spotter."
Keiichi's world upended for the second time tonight. "...what? You
know about this stuff?"
"Oh, I did a little research online after I first got here," she said,
looking quite proud of the fact. "I'd be happy to help. Together, we can win
this race for the Motorcycle Club!"
"You... researched...?"
"Engine mounting and repair, as well as part comparisons from several
major motorcycle magazines on the web. I've always been a quick study. I'll
go get some work clothes on, and we'll get started! This'll be great fun,
Keiichi-sama!"
It was enough to make him laugh out loud. Here he was all wrapped up in
questions of human relations, and now Belldandy the sex goddess was going to
play grease monkey in the conventional sense. She was certainly full of
surprises... and if she really did study this stuff, maybe he could actually
go to bed at a sane hour instead of crawling half dead back to his room...
...kind of like how Urd was, crawling half dead back to the temple. She
lurched along the path from the main gate, pausing as she approached
Keiichi's mini-workshop. Any casual glee he had immediately swapped out for
discomfort.
Keiichi set down his teacup, hunting for the right word to say. Both
tried to avoid each other's eyes.
"Hey," Urd greeted.
"Hey," he returned.
Pause.
"Busy, huh."
"Yeah... race tomorrow."
Pause.
"...dammit. Okay. Fine. Keiichi, I apologize," Urd said, breaking the
dam of silence. "Maybe you've had a long talk coming, but I bit your head
off earlier and I had no right to be that rough with you. There. I said it.
Being so drunk that I've passed through to the other side of sobriety does
wonders for your pride."
Keiichi scratched behind his head. "Actually, Urd--"
"I don't want to make like I hate you having a relationship with my
sister, okay? So don't think that. I just wish... hell, I wish you could
accept what she is, perversions and all. I don't want any more emotional
collapses in my family--"
"URD!" Keiichi half-shouted, unable to really interrupt with force.
"...it's okay. I mean... I heard what you said before. I thought about it
all... it's not Skuld and Belldandy, it's me, just like you said. I've just
got to accept MYSELF so I can accept them. Her. You know."
"Eh?" Urd said, trying to follow Keiichi's bungling admission. "You
mean... you figured it out on your own?"
"With a little goading from you, yeah. Um. Don't worry about being
rough with it... I guess I can be a little thick headed," Keiichi said,
adding a nervous laugh to it as he rubbed a hand behind his head. "So, uh,
I'll do my best and don't worry about stuff."
"'Stuff', huh. I think you may have a ways to go, Keiichi," Urd said as
she sat down next to him. "But hell, any start is a good start... the
realist in me is saying 'wait and see', but okay, I'll call your bluff and
add a little hope to my repertoire. Where's Belldandy, anyway?"
"She's getting changed so we can tackle the bike."
"Is that what you kids are calling it these days?"
Keiichi blushed something fierece. "I meant work on the motorcycle!
...not that there's anything wrong with that, I mean. ...um. Since you're
feeling all open and stuff, can I ask a question?"
"Shoot, kid. It's your nickel."
"Why IS Belldandy a pervert? And, I mean that in the nicest possible
way. It's just that I've been thinking about that sort of thing, you know,
people dealing with their sexuality and all... and I was kinda curious about
her--"
"Internet."
"What?"
"About four years ago, Heaven got its first internet connection," Urd
explained. "That's where Belldandy first heard about sex. Sure, she knew
the biological aspects of creation, saw the educational audio filmstrips and
everything, that's par for course -- but Heaven's not exactly boiling over
with sexual experimentation and exploration, yeah?"
"Not in any of the classical interpretations, no," Keiichi agreed.
"Right. I was the exception to the rule, I guess, because of my...
anyway. That's what woke her up to it. Turns out the sweet innocent
Belldandy was always a pervert on the inside, but didn't realize it. Like
someone who was a natural speaker in a language but hadn't learned the words
yet. Since she's always been big on studying -- literature, non-fiction and
so on -- FAQs on the Kama Sutra and bondage were just another challenge to
her. That damned work ethic of hers made her a nonstop ecchi learning
machine. Hell, she knows more than *I* do! You know what a rimjob is?"
"Uh..."
"Neither did I, until she asked me one day about them and then gave me
an earful of usefully frightening information as well as an offer of a live
demonstration... erm. You know how she keeps trying to seduce you into kinky
hardcore hot and heavy warm and sloppy 'til the cops arrive marathon sexual
daredevilism? That's because this is the first real chance she's had to put
what she learned to good use with someone she loves."
"What, she never did any of this stuff before?" Keiichi asked,
incredulous. "Er.. what about Skuld?"
"Oh, that just started up a year or two ago. Totally different sort of
thing, anyway. Keiichi, she doesn't just wanna get fucked, okay? You can
get sex anywhere, especially if you have the money for it. Belldandy...
she's been specifically waiting for a kind-hearted young man to love her and
care for her and have intense nookie with her. Tag, you're it."
"...gosh," Keiichi expressed. "I'm not sure if I should be proud or
scared out of my wits..."
"I'd suspect a little of both. So... the ball's in your court, kid,"
Urd spoke, as she rose to her feet again. "You serious? You've really come
to terms with this stuff?"
"Mentally, at least," Keiichi said. "I'm still working on the rest."
"It'll have to do," Urd said. "I hope you and Bell work out, since
Bell's got a lot of heart invested in you. But that's really up to you and
her. I can't do a whole lot... maybe I've done all I can do. I'm trusting
you with this, Keiichi. Now... bed. Must go bed. Oyasumi.(*)"
* the little metal things that hold
a skateboard's wheels together
Which is kind of what Skuld said as well, Keiichi realized. He turned
to study the stars as Urd lurched off towards her room... his mind spinning
across everything that had hit him in the last ten minutes. Amazing. Simply
amazing.
But when he faced reality... he realized he had a very short time before
the big race, a lot of work ahead of him, and a couple of sempai who could
make his life a living Jersey if he was too busy having fluffy warm thoughts
and didn't tune the damn engine. He fetched a socket wrench, and got back to
work...
"I'm ready, Keiichi-sama! Let's get working!"
Keiichi turned to greet her... and noted with a kind of practical
sensibility that she did indeed have heavy work gloves on suitable for this
sort of thing. She wasn't wearing anything else, of course.
"...err..."
"I didn't want any of my good clothes to get all oily and messy,"
Belldandy said, padding around to the opposite side of the bike. "Besides, I
was going to take a bath before bed anyway. Now, have you adjusted the
handlebar balancers yet?"
"Actually... no, I haven't," Keiichi said, smiling. "Hold up the bike
and I'll fetch the level."
The steady sound of wrenching and screwing and hammering could be heard
for hours.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Before long, morning had arrived. The darkness of night was replaced
with the piercing glare of the morning light, rising over the hills and trees
surrounding Nekomi Tech. Because either God or the Japanese Traffic
Department have a wicked sense of humor, the road from the temple to the
campus was facing directly to the east, so the burning glare of the sun could
irritate one sleep deprived young man and his completely hungover sempai.
Tamiya's truck rattled as it rolled, in dire need of a tuneup, oil
change, refuelling, change of shock absorbers, scraping of rust, complete
engine replacement and prompt dumping in a junkyard. Because it was still
capable of moving in the general direction you wanted it to go and because
Tamiya was a cheap bastard, Nekomi Tech's Motorcycle Club Funds did not go
towards upgrading their primary transportation.
Keiichi sipped from a thermos of coffee Belldandy made him earlier. He
wasn't as tired as he might have been if he'd had to do the work by his
lonesome, but make no mistake, he was exhausted. Not a good condition to be
repeatedly zipping along at subsonic speeds on what amounted to a two wheeled
deathtrap... although for a deathtrap, it was a damn fine looking one.
"I have to admit, kohai(*), you've done an excellent job," Tamiya spoke
with less burning fury and spirit than usual due to his throbbing headache.
"The bike is a sound piece of work, and will do well in the races!"
* subcreature
"I had some help," Keiichi said, screwing the top back onto the thermos
for now. "We worked on the thing for hours, tweaking, tuning, testing the
motor... tons of fun. I almost wish we could've kept working on it..."
"It wasn't one of the craven dogs from the Auto Club, was it?" Ootaki
asked, his everpresent sunglasses doing a great job of cutting the clare.
"Jeez, no! It was just Belldandy."
"...Belldandy?!" Tamiya asked, pulling his eyes from the road to stare
at Keiichi in shock and nearly wrapping the truck around a telephone pole in
the process. "Sweet, innocent, wonderful Belldandy knows motorcycle
engineering?"
Ootaki grinned madly. "If that's an example of her handiwork, she
should join the club! With that kind of talent, we'd NEVER lose!"
"Uh... I dunno if she'd be the type to hang with grease monkeys all
day," Keiichi mumbled.
Tamiya considered that. "But aren't you a grease monkey? She hangs
with you, right? I mean... you know... HANGS with you?"
Keiichi narrowed his eyes a little. "You're implying something by
sticking extra emphasis on that word, aren't you?"
Ootaki leaned forward, to cut off the conversation between his partner
and his minion. "Yeah, interesting, yeah. Anyway, speaking of Belldandy...
isn't that silver-haired chick her sister?"
"Silver...? You mean Urd?"
"Yeah! Urd. Man, what an exotic name! Foreign babes are always so
HOT... hey, is she single? I mean, she's been able to resist the old Ootaki
charms this long, and I've been turning up the sensitivity and compassion too
but nothing's worked so far..."
"I think you might be better off not trying, sempai. She's not
interested in a relationship right now."
"Bah! I'll simply redouble my efforts," Ootaki declared, sitting back.
"There's just something about her which is so intriguing to me..."
"Because she hasn't punched you in the face yet?"
"Actually, she's already done that. But I think it wasn't anything
personal, just one of those principle things... Urd, huh. Urd-chan. Urd-
sama! I can't get enough of her. She has this amazing grace and style, and
she actually liked how shallow I am. How often does a babe like THAT come
along? She's headed to the race already with her sister, right?"
"Yeah, all three of them are gonna be there," Keiichi replied.
A stunned silence filled the truck. As silent as the engine of the
vehicle would allow, given that it normally sounded like a kitchen stove
rolling down a hill.
"Belldandy and her sister have ANOTHER sister?" Tamiya asked, almost
missing the racetrack driveway due to being stunned for 1d6 rounds.
"Keiichi, I'm disappointed! Here you are living with your own harem and you
didn't tell us? If you have a thing with Belldandy, and Ootaki is working at
a thing with Urd... that leaves one for me!"
His mind immediately imagining what Skuld would do to Tamiya if she
heard that, Keiichi went pale. "Err, sempai, if you don't enjoy concussions
and collapsed lungs, I'd suggest you stop that sort of thinking right now.
Just trust me on this... ah, there they are!"
"Aww, man, she's too young," Tamiya complained, as they pulled up and he
got a good look. "Nuts. Bah! Enough talk of women-folk, we are MEN and we
have a race to win! Ootaki, let's get the bike unloaded."
"Right behind you!" Ootaki declared.
Keiichi opened his door and hopped out, walking over to greet the three
goddesses... who had dressed for the occasion.
For a reason which would be explained in mere moments, Belldandy was
wearing a furry orange bikini with tiger stripes. She had on a headband with
cute fuzzy cat-ears, a red leather collar with a little golden bell, and a
pair of thigh-high furry boots to match. A tail flicked about behind her,
which presumably was just made of felt...
"Nyao!" Belldandy purred, pawing at the air a little. "I'm showing my
school spirit for NEKOmi(*) Tech, Keiichi-sama! Like it?" * ostrich
"It must be cold out here today," Keiichi said as his eyes accidentally
locked on the two weather indicators under Belldandy's bikini, even though he
was feeling extremely warm personally.
"Her eyes are up there, kid," Urd commented, peering over her mirrored
shades and leaning against a bike rack. She tugged at the leather jacket on
her shoulders, which went well with the leather halter top and the leather
caps and the leather boots and the leather gloves. "Figured I'd rock on that
whole Harley Davidson vibe to show my support."
"Uh... you look great too, Urd," Keiichi said politely. "And Skuld!
...err, did you even change your clothes from yesterday?"
"Fuck off," Skuld greeted, her hands in the pockets of her belovely
battered jacket. She fingered something underneath the tattered leather,
almost nervously.
"What's in your pocket?" Keiichi asked, curiously.
"Pain. Want some?" Skuld asked.
"Err, I was just ask--"
*WHAM*.
"Ow! Foot! Foot!" Tamiya cursed, hopping around one-leggedly. "Help!
Critical injury! I need Bactine!"
"Uh... Keiichi?" Ootaki said, peeking out from around the truck. "We
dropped the bike. Sorry. You can patch it up before the first heat, right?
Great. I gotta go submit our entry forms. Tamiya, rest that foot, okay? We
need you in tip top shape! Be back in a jiff."
Kill me now, Keiichi thought. "Sure thing, sempai!" he called as Ootaki
exited stage left... then turned to his partner. "Err. Belldandy, could you
lend a hand? You know the bike better than the others, after all--"
"Not so fast!"
As if there weren't enough people on the scene to confuse easily as to
who was saying what, from around the corner came two people Keiichi really
was not in the mood to see.
Now would be a great time to explain what an Aoshima is.
An Aoshima is the mortal enemy of the Nekomi Tech Motorcycle Club. It
represents all that is flawed and unholy about recreational engineering.
Specifically, it was responsible for forming the Nekomi Tech Auto Club, just
to A) spite them all and B) have a position of ultimate power over others.
It stands about five feet seven inches tall, and is very thin and pale
and neat. It wears stylish Italian clothing and prescription designer
sunglasses that cost more than Tamiya's truck. It's always smiling, usually
because it feels superior to you and wants you to know that it's so amazingly
superior that the staggering gap between you and it is enough to make it
smile constantly to remind you of such things.
It's also a he, and he was now approaching his rivals bearing a full
bouqet of roses, and being tailed by Sayoko Mishima, his cousin.
"Oh. It's you," Keiichi spoke as coldly as his good nature would allow.
"Bell, this is our arch-rival, Aoshima of the Auto Club. I told you about
him last night. And Sayoko, of course."
"Oohohoho," Sayoko lightly laughed, feeling the full laugh was something
you had to build up properly to. "Charmed as usual, Belldandy."
"Sayoko, hello! Aoshima, pleased to meet you!" Belldandy greeted as
nicely as her good nature would allow, bowing politely.
"Ah, my wonderful little darling!" Aoshima chimed, closing his eyes and
clutching the roses to his chest. "How I have waited for this day to show my
love to you! Soon, you will be mine, all mine!"
"...eh?" Keiichi bumbled, confused.
Finally, Tamiya could take no more. Picking up a wrench in order
specifically to throw it down in disgust, he rolled up one sleeve and taunted
Aoshima. "You scoundrel! How dare you violate the sanctity of the noble
Motorcycle Club's pit area? You will pay in suffering!"
"Me? Pay?" Aoshima asked. "But it is you who will pay, Tamiya-kun.
Don't you remember...? I made a bet with you two gentlemen last night. It
was my wonderful cousin Sayoko's idea, of course. You remember last night,
yes, Tamiya-san? That if I win, my darling will join the Auto Club?"
"Last night?" Tamiya asked, scratching his empty head. "Err... I
remember... beer. I remember beer last night. And yeah, you did walk into
that bar! And.... errr. ...gottagetbacktoworkKeiichilater."
Despite his horrible wound, Tamiya managed to limp off faster than most
people could sprint the two hundred yard dash.
"A bet for your 'darling'," Keiichi repeated, getting the drift. He
groaned, and shook his head. "That's nice and all, Aoshima, but making a bet
with Tamiya doesn't mean you get to do something like that without
Belldandy's consent. I see what's really going on here. It's a cute trick,
Sayoko, but--"
"Belldandy?" Aoshima asked, confused. "Who said anything about
Belldandy? I made the bet for you, Keiichi. How I long to hold your petite
but oh so squeezable body against my chest during cold winter nights!"
"............." the petite but oh so squeezable body replied. As did
all others assembled (including than Sayoko, who was just waiting for a good
moment to laugh properly).
"Whoa," Skuld spoke, breaking the silence.
"You see, my cousin finally gave me the strength to come out of the
closet and admit my true heart's desires," Aoshima explained, as he pressed
the bouquet of roses into Keiichi's numb arms. "I've adored your cute little
ass ever since you got to Nekomi Tech, but have kept silent... until now!
Now, at long last, I can win you over to my side!"
"........................" Keiichi continued.
Chuckling lightly, Aoshima pushed up his expensive glasses. "You're not
going to welsh out, are you, Keiichi-chan? Not on an honorable wager between
men?"
"He accepts," Belldandy spoke up immediately.
"................................" Keiichi protested.
"Excellent!" Aoshima spoke, clapping once in delight. He turned with a
swift spin on the heel, and glanced over his shoulder. "Keiichi-chan? I
shall wait for you in my tent covered in chocolate sauce after our victory.
...yes, cousin, you may go ahead. I'm finished."
"Thank you, cousin. Ahem. OOHOHOOHOHOHHOOHHOHHOHOOOO!!!" Sayoko
laughed, pointing and mocking Belldandy. "Ah. I feel SO much better. See
you after the race, 'darling' Keiichi!"
And so, they left.
"....................................." Keiichi spoke, as he waved
farewell like some sort of mechanical warm-waving robot.
Belldandy twirled and stepped in front of Keiichi, arms behind her back
and leaning forward to address him. "It's important to uphold a contract,
even if your superiors made it for you. Don't worry, Keiichi! We can beat
them!"
"...BELLDANDY!" he finally managed to say.
"Ano?"
"This isn't... this... this.... I think my brain is overheating. Excuse
me. Must take time out."
Half-walking, half-stumbling, Keiichi pushed the flap of the Motorcycle
Club's tent open and walked in. Confused, Belldandy followed him.
Urd shook her head in disappointment, as she watched Aoshima's butt sway
as he wandered off. "Damn shame. It's always the cute ones, isn't it,
Skuld? ...hey, where're you going?"
"I'm gonna get a corn dog and find a spot to watch the race," Skuld
said, skipping off. "Byeee!"
"But we've already got box seats!" Urd called... but too late. Leaving
her totally alone. Bored. Alone. Very bored.
Ah, hell, might as well see what that Ootaki boy is up to, she decided.
Nothing better to do.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
All the tents at the racetrack were set up the same; a pit area, a bin
for parts, a rack of tools, a screen for racers to change behind, that sort
of thing. They afforded you enough privacy to work on your bike without
competitors spying on what secret technological trickery you were up to.
They also doubled as good emotional fallout shelters, which Keiichi was in
dire need of.
Of course, Belldandy followed him in, but he was expecting that.
"Keiichi-sama?" she asked, letting the flap drop behind her. "What's
wrong?"
"What's...! What's WRONG?" he asked, shocked. "You don't know?!
Belldandy, I do NOT want to be a wagering chip with... with that guy wanting
THAT with... not that there's anything wrong with it, I mean, I'm not a
prejudiced sort and... err. JEEZ, why did you accept it?"
"Because it's a contract," she said simply.
"It's a ridiculous contract! Why should I keep a ridiculous contract?!"
...and Belldandy actually almost sort of nearly frowned.
"Keiichi... all we have in this world is our word," she spoke. "What we
say and what we do define who we are. It defines how others see us. Now,
your sempai may have been executed poor judgement in giving their word on
this, but it's up to you to redeem them for it."
"To REDEEM..? But they're--! No, I don't want to say they're morons.
They are my friends, but come on, how could something like this have even a
pinch of reality to it?"
"They gave their word," she reminded him. "It's up to you to prove to
Aoshima that not only will you uphold that word, as flawed as it may be, but
you will persevere! That's the only way. I've always believed in a strong
work ethic, Keiichi-sama... that no matter what the situation, there is a
solution, and one should never to back down. I'll never give up. I will
succeed! In my heart I know you're the sort who would never give up either."
"...well, yeah," Keiichi said, not wanting to shout 'I'm a big fat
cowardly loser' or anything of the sort. "But, uh..."
"You were going to win the race anyway, yes?" Belldandy asked, smiling
lightly. "You didn't seem to like that man. I know you wanted to beat his
club."
"Che,(*)" Keiichi spat. "Of course! He's a loudmouthed braggart. He
only started the Auto Club because we wouldn't give him control of the
Motorcycle Club. Maybe it's not a war of bullets and bombs, but it's
definitely a war, and... and I guess you're right, we're going to defeat him.
I was gonna do my best to win anyway..." * che
"Then there is no problem!" Belldandy stated. "You WILL win. I believe
in you, Keiichi. I'm not worried about Aoshima's challenge."
Keiichi sighed. "Belldandy... be realistic. What if something goes
wrong? If I'm really not gonna duck out on this... even if it IS crazy...
that means I have to change clubs. Among... other implied things. Brrr."
"It won't happen. I know it won't. And to make sure it won't, let's
check the bike one last time; odds are a few things rattled out of alignment
on the way down, and it just got worse when they dropped it."
Leaning against the tool rack, Keiichi rubbed his forehead, feeling a
headache coming on. "I wish Tamiya would fix the shocks on his truck...
you're right, we're gonna have damage on top of damage to deal with. But
that's okay. We can handle this. We can DO this."
"That's the spirit!" Belldandy cheered, bouncing a few times... before
remembering something. "Although I don't want to get my new costume dirty,
so you'll have to do the messy work."
"...right. It's okay, I'm used to that around Tamiya and Ootaki,"
Keiichi pointed out, rolling up his sleeves. "Pass the 3/8ths gripley."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Perfect. TOO perfect!
In a short time, Keiichi would be snuggling up to Aoshima, and Belldandy
would be left in the lurch. Even if nothing came of the new budding love,
it'd still put a strain on the two, and eventually her oneesama would give up
this silly mortal and return to heaven!
Skuld skipped around behind the pit row, happy as a manic-obsessive.
Then she realized she was trying to be stealthy, and swapped from gleeful to
Solid Snake. She crept along behind the tents, checking the logos, looking
for the right one...
Here. She crouched down and peeked under the tent canvas, and seeing
nobody, snuck her bad self on in.
She was going to do this anyway just to spite the bastard, but the bet
added artifical sweetener into the mix. Stalking the motorcycle of the
Nekomi Tech Auto Club, she withdrew the object she'd had in her pocket... a
portable Temporal Compressor.
With this added to their engine, their bike would move faster in time
than normal objects would. It would be enough of a speed edge to beat any
driver, let alone Keiichi! Perfect, too perfect--
She ducked behind the bike when she heard noises. Bad form, she
should've been paying more attention instead of congratulating herself
repeatedly... she peeked over the seat of the cycle, to see what was going
on.
'Free Peep Show' was what was going on.
Partially obscured by the changing screen, a nude Sayoko (gleaming quite
nicely with a thin shear of sweat and the dim lighting of the tent) was on
her knees behind a young girl with glasses, pumping at her hips quite
thoroughly with a plastic strap-on dildo.
"Ooooooh!" the girl moaned, rocking back and forth as she was ridden
like a wild stallion, or at least a crazed filly. "Harder, mistress,
harder!"
Go figure, Skuld thought. She briefly considered loitering a bit to
enjoy the show... she hadn't had much nookie lately, and it was a pretty
interesting view. (Belldandy didn't count as 'nookie'... that was something
different to her.) But if she did get caught... actually, if this was a bad
porno, getting caught by these two would be a whole lot of fun, but she had a
mission to accomplish.
Using the moaning and groaning and squealing to mask the quiet whir of
her sonic screwdriver, Skuld began to remove a plate covering the bike's
engine.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Fireworks popped in the sky above Nekomi Tech, because everything is
better with pyro -- even in the midmorning. The brass band played. The fans
cheered. The races were on.
It was the Golden Hammer 500, so called because the trophy was pawned
years ago and someone from the shop club had to make do. Although it was
only the first race of the year, it was like the Superbowl of motorcycle drag
racing... Nekomi Tech's population of engineers, techheads and geeks followed
vehicular sport more than they followed football, and this was just the
ticket to kick off a season of alternative sporting delights.
Of course, the races themselves were pretty straightforward; two bikes
go in, they both go fast, one comes out sooner than the other and thus wins.
You can't ask for a simpler ruleset than that, and watching the bikes go down
the track isn't all that exciting.
What is exciting are the rivalries, the drama, the bad food, the
carnival atmosphere that comes with the Golden Hammer 500. A variety of
booths and tents sell everything from little plastic motorcycles to native
craft work to anime tapes. The whole racing thing is just icing on the cake.
Keiichi's stomach was turning like he'd just eaten an entire cake
covered in Tobasco sauce. The first few heats went okay, all things
considered; he and Belldandy compressed another night's work into about an
hour and the bike was now in near tip-top shape. He'd beaten all his
opponents easily... but they weren't important to the club's goals. Only the
Auto Club's hired gun racer from the professional circuits and their killer
engineering crew were enemies worth conquering.
Tamiya towed the bike back to pit lane after another successful run, and
Keiichi accepted a water bottle from Belldandy. "The bike's handling great
so far," he commented, after swigging a little H2Whoa. "I don't think we'll
need to do any adjustments until after the next run."
"Such amazing craftsmanship!" Tamiya declared, crying manly tears of
joy. "Belldandy, your work is stellar! After Keiichi changes clubs, we'll
have to replace him with you!"
"Oh, Tamiya, you're such a kidder!" Belldandy laughed, not noticing how
pale and shivery Keiichi was. "I'm sure we'll do just fine... Skuld! Hello!
Where have you been?"
"Geffinf foof," Skuld explained, jogging up with a half-eaten corn dog
on a stick. She chewed, swallowed, smiled, and other verbs. "Great race so
far! I can't wait to see what happens next! How long until the showdown?"
"Three more runs to go," Belldandy told her. "We were just--"
"*AND AN AMAZING RECORD IS SET!*" the loudspeakers announced, as the
crowd went ballistic. All eyes panned left to the track... where the Auto
Club's bike was being towed back, driver waving a fist in the air in victory.
"*We've never seen a speed record like that before at Nekomi Tech! What a
crushing victory for the Auto Club!*"
"..." Keiichi spoke, as he read and re-read the time on the scoreboard
to make sure he hadn't suddenly caught glaucoma. "Uh... guys...?"
Skuld did her best not to giggle.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
In a private box, Aoshima was just as surprised. The bike hadn't
performed THAT well before. Was the racer he'd hand-picked for today's event
holding back on him? He'd get a pay cut for that. Unless he won the prize,
of course.
Interest waning, he returned to his issue of Hot Young Studs magazine,
until Sayoko interrupted.
"Have I missed anything?" she asked, adjusting her skirt with one hand
and toweling some sweat off her forehead with the other.
"We're doing exceptionally well, cousin," Aoshima spoke, setting down
the magazine. "Soon, Keiichi-chan will be all mine. I must say, it really
is quite liberating to go public with my sexual orientation. My thanks to
you for helping me see the light. And to think I had to hide all my
Backstreet Boys posters and Playgirl calendars... what a fool I was!"
"Indeed. And this way, Belldandy and Keiichi's relationship is doomed!
OOOHOHOHOHHOO!"
"OOOHOOHHOOO!" Aoshima imitated flawlessly, laughing into the back of
his hand.
Sayoko groaned. "Cousin..?"
"Yes, gimmick infringement, I know," he said, laughing lightly. "This
pleases you so much, it's hard not to be amused by that fact. Why do you
have such an axe to grind against Belldandy, cousin? Is it because she's
more popular and well liked and more desired than you?"
Clenching a fist, Sayoko spoke her answer through gritted her teeth.
"Popular... liked... desired?! She is none of the above compared to me!"
"Yes, yes, whatever. But I still don't quite understand. Didn't you
tell me you 'changed sides' as well? Why would you even want to be more
desired by men than she?" he asked, curious. "It makes little sense. As for
popularity, trust me, it's highly overrated. I'm quite disliked by the
student body simply because, well, I'm a bit of a jerk. I don't mind that.
I revel in it, it gives me strength. I've never understood your strange
fixation on popularity--"
"It's just something I need to DO, cousin," Sayoko grumbled, wishing he
would be quiet.
"Mmm. Well, I suppose I can't argue with it if it's going to lead my
dearest Keiichi into my arms. Come hither, young boy, and become a man!" he
taunted, flexing and rolling his fingers in a classic beckoning gesture.
"How do you do that?" Sayoko asked.
"You must be double jointed. And Hungarian."
"You're neither."
Aoshima sat back, looking disappointed. "For one with such a glorious
laugh, you have no sense of humor, Sayoko."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Race after race went by... Keiichi winning, then the Auto Club bike
beating his score by at least two seconds. His heart rose with each victory
and sank with each new posting of some world record shattering time.
He'd frantically work with the bike, trying to tune it, juice it, get
every last drop of speed he could from it... Belldandy even broke down and
got her bikini a bit smudged so she could help the club prepare for the final
race. The important one.
Before anybody was ready, it was on them. Both bikes were at the
starting line, Keiichi was strapping on his helmet, and it was about to be
decided one way or the other. He glanced over to his rival's racer, and gave
the man a sportsmanlike thumbs up. (In return, Keiichi got the middle
finger.)
"Looks good," Belldandy spoke, standing up and wiping some sweat from
her forehead. "The bike is as ready as it'll ever be."
"Yeah, okay," Keiichi said, slipping his visor down. "Right. Okay."
"What's wrong?"
"Just... nervous, I guess. What if--"
Belldandy put a finger to her lips, cutting him off. "Don't think 'What
if'. Don't believe in chance, Keiichi-sama. Believe in yourself. Your
burning passion. The goddess of victory does not like one so driven to win,
like Aoshima. The goddess of victory smiles on those with burning hearts."
Keiichi looked up. "...really?"
And as he looked up, he got an eyeful of kiss. Just a light one,
leaving a little lipstick on his clear plastic visor, as Belldandy smiled at
him. The crowd whistled and cheered her on, since hey, a hot girl in a
bikini smooching people is a winner in anyone's book.
"Do your best!" she cheered, and skipped off to join her sisters at the
side of the track.
Urd set her empty soda (purchased by Ootaki) aside, and dropped her
voice a bit so as not to be overheard by Keiichi. "Sis?"
"Yes, oneesan?" Belldandy asked, not taking her eyes off her man.
"You know the goddess of victory personally," Urd reminded her. "She
LOVES people who are driven to win. Nothing makes her happier than someone
who's got bloody minded determination to succeed at all costs."
"Yes, well... I didn't want to demoralize him," Belldandy said weakly,
clasping her hands together. "Now start praying."
Skuld laughed, leaning back against the guard rail. "What's the big
deal? So he loses the race and ends up spending time with his arch rival who
has the hots for him. It's no big deal. I've never understood these silly
mortals..."
"Skuld... this is about more than just the bet," Belldandy spoke with
all seriousness.
"I know, there's a trophy involved too."
"It's not the trophy, either. Skuld... Keiichi-sama and I worked
together on that bike last night. This race means so much to him, and I want
the motorcycle we put together with love to be the victor. ...I so rarely
find things that he wants to do with me, and I'm hoping this will help bring
us closer together. But if it ends in defeat and he has to change clubs,
leaving all his friends behind and having to work with someone he doesn't
like... I don't think he's the sort to blame me, but I'll feel like I let him
down."
"...oh," Skuld said, fidgeting slightly. "Well..."
"But I know he can do it," Belldandy added with pride. She waved to
Keiichi, bouncing up and down for encouragement (although it only served to
distract him). "The motorcycle we made is perfect, and he's an excellent
rider! Go for it, Keiichi-sama! Never give up!"
Skuld stuck her hands in her pockets, looking down a bit. "...this
means a lot to you, huh, oneesama..."
"It means the world to me, Skuld."
A world Skuld was about to shatter, just because she didn't like the
guy. What felt like a perfect, TOO perfect plan turned out to be too perfect
after all; it was sneaky and underhanded, which she had no problems with, but
it also was going to hurt the one person in the whole universe Skuld never
wanted to hurt...
Skuld thumbed a control on a small remote in her pocket. The tiny
device planted inside the Auto Club's bike teleported itself back to her
toolkit back at the temple, banished by the click of a button.
"Let's see what this guy's made of, oneesama," she spoke quietly. It
was up to him now.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
'Him' being the one on the bike, about to put his manhood on the line as
well as his pride and his word. And yet, despite the looming threat of the
bet, he only found himself thinking about one thing.
"Belldandy really believes in me," he spoke silently to himself. "She
believes in this bike. I don't want to let her down. ...and I don't want to
be Aoshima's boy-toy, but weirdly, I'm more worried about Bell--"
The lights had already begun to count down towards green. Keiichi
quickly focused his thoughts, and twisted the handles, gassing and prepping
for takeoff.
Red. Red. Red. Red. Yellow. GREEN, go.
It was like a blanking out of all thoughts. Moving on instinct, letting
your skills take control of the cycle... conscious thought wasn't fast enough
to react to the race, not quick enough to make the decisions needed to win.
When to gas, when to ease up, how to handle the steering. Most people
assumed you just floored it and watched what happened, but there was always
more to it than that...
Already halfway down the track. Silence all around him; the helmet
masking out most sound, his mind cutting out the rest so he could
concentrate. He flicked his eyes to his rival, to check position... assuming
he would be well into the lead, the way the Auto Club had been performing
today--
They were neck and neck.
The unbeatable bike was pushing just as hard as he was to win, and they
were neck and neck!
He still had a chance. He could DO this! He twisted the accelerator
hard, knowing that it would burn out the engine, but this being the last and
most important run, they could afford replacement parts after... if it would
hold out long enough to get him to the finish line...
Of course it would. He'd seen to the design of the bike himself. He
and Belldandy's bike.
The finish line was crossed silently, with the Auto Club's bike a full
four feet behind his own. He twisted and slid to a halt into the winner's
box, smoke dragging in twin trails behind him. Very stylish.
Then his ears clicked back online, and his eyes saw the entire
Motorcycle Club descend on him. He was pulled from the bike, held on
shoulders, passed around and then accidentally dumped on his head when they
ran out of crowd to pass him over. He was too excited to worry about back
trauma and popped back up immediately... into Belldandy's arms.
For a change, he didn't feel the need to escape even if the blood was
rushing to his head as she kissed his cheek. Joy flowed like Cherry
Kool-Aid, and everybody was congratulating him left and right, but the first
thing he really noticed... was Skuld smiling a little at him, from the edge
of the crowd, hands in her pockets and approving quietly.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Of course, wherever there's a winner, there's a loser...
For a loser, Aoshima was taking the loss quite well. He tapped the
rolled up gay porno magazine in his hand like a riding crop, frowning
lightly. "An unfortunate run of luck," he commented. "The club will have to
be disciplined for dropping the ball so close to the end..."
"Curse you, Belldandy!!" Sayoko growled, shaking a fist. "She escapes
my clutches again!"
"Indeed she has. And oh, how I'll miss my darling Keiichi-chan!"
Aoshima bemoaned all wistful-like. "I was so looking forward to my prize...
oh well."
"Fear not, cousin! I WILL make him yours! I will--"
"Ehh, it's not important," Aoshima said, tucking the magazine under one
arm and rising to leave.
"--WHAT?!"
"After all, now I can seek my darling Tamiya-chan!" Aoshima spoke,
smiling wryly. "Oh, I just can't help it. There's so many yummy boys out
there, how can I settle on one? Perhaps it's for the best. Thank you for
your help, cousin, but I think I'm confident enough to handle affairs from
here."
Sayoko's jaw sagged like an eighty year old woman's breasts. "But..
but... what about Belldandy and Keiichi?!"
"What about them?" Aoshima asked, glancing across the raceway to the
victory celebration. "They seem happy enough, from what I can see."
"That's BESIDES the point!!"
"Cousin... allow me to be frank," he requested "You're too obsessed.
You have a perfectly wonderful girl out there in the form of Hasegawa, you
still have plenty of power around school, and you don't need those boys
anymore. Many would gladly be in your position... myself included. I'm not
sure why you feel this strange urge to destroy Belldandy when you're doing so
well. But I suppose that's your own lookout, not mine. If you'll excuse me,
I need to go whip my driver into submission for failing me. Thank you so
much for the fun time. Ta ta."
Sayoko stood in silence, as her traitorous cousin left the private box.
She clenched BOTH fists rather than just one, for emphasis. "Damn you,
Belldandy... damn you to..."
...and then she ran out of energy for it. Sighing, she had a seat, to
relax after experiencing all that tension.
Not that she could relax, as Hasegawa popped up, breathing heavily after
running here all the way from the Motorcycle Club's victory dance.
"Mistress?" she asked. "You look so upset! Don't worry. We'll get them
yet--"
"I'm tired, Hasegawa," Saoyoko spoke. "Let us leave this place. I feel
a great melancholy coming on, and will require your services."
"...hai, mistress."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The sun started to sink into the western sky. The audience was
scattered now, the races over; there was still the school fair to enjoy, the
vendors and chefs and other providers of varying entertainments. After all,
the race itself was a minor part of the school celebration.
Excitement had passed since that victory, but Keiichi remained in high
spirits. He was happy. Urd was happy. Belldandy was VERY happy. Even
Skuld seemed vaguely happy in a disinterested apathetic teenage sort of way.
All in all... happy. Wai(*). * deez nuts
"It was a very exciting race, Keiichi-sama! I'm so happy we won!"
Belldandy said for what was probably the fifth time, as she walked along
attached to Keiichi's arm. (He hadn't pulled away once yet, and she wasn't
going to let go if he didn't make her.)
"Yeah... me too, Belldandy," Keiichi agreed. "But the season's not over
yet, we still have plenty more races to win."
"That's okay. I think I'm going to join the Motorcycle Club full time.
You guys could use my help."
"Really?" Keiichi asked, mildly surprised. Wasn't he telling his sempai
that she wasn't the sort to enjoy this...? Then again, she had worked with
him all night... "That's great! Yeah, we're a little understaffed this
year. Especially since Hasegawa seems to be busy a lot lately for some
reason..."
(Skuld whistled innocently at that.)
"Man, I'm beat," Keiichi spoke, stretching out with his free arm. "We
really ought to head back--"
"Ring for your sweetie, sir?"
The group paused, distracted by a student running a jewelry booth.
"Rings and pendants and bracelets a-plenty!" she barked. "Show her you
really care! And you don't even need two month's salary!"
Belldandy's eyes lit up as she studied the small rack of finely crafted
rings. She clasped her hands together in delight at the prospect of having
one. "Kireii!(*) Can I have something, Keiichi-sama?"
* no. 1 sexy purchasable commodity!
"Uhhhh..." Keiichi said, fishing a small wad of bills from his pocket.
"What can I get for this?"
The vendor peered at the cash, sniffing as if she was examining a six
week old tuna fish sandwich. "Plastic," she responded joylessly. "Excuse
me." She turned to harass another passing student who looked like he could
afford something.
"Oh, jeez, Keiichi!" Skuld groaned. "How do you expect to support my
oneesama if you're such a deadbeat? Feh. I'm going home. Baka.(*)"
* ranma saotome
"Could be worse," Urd said, as her sister stomped off. "She might've
given you a high speed vasectomy with her boots. I think she's starting to
warm up to you, Keiichi. I'll catch up with her and get her home, Bell.
SKULD! Wait up!"
"Ah... thanks, Urd," Keiichi thanked. He looked around, hoping to find
something he could afford so as not to look like a total loser... and spotted
Belldandy checking out a funny looking black tent.
"Oh my..." she exclaimed. "It's perfect! Keiichi-sama, can I have that
money?"
"Huh?" he asked. "But it's not enough for a--"
(Your purse feels lighter.)
"Be right back! Wait here!" she ordered, diving into the tent.
What a day.
Keiichi stood back, and watched the setting sun. (Not that he could see
the movement of the sun, and even if he could, it would be... err... eight
minutes? Some amount of time in the past, or something.) A wild, crazy,
unpredictable pair of days... a young goddess hating his guts, getting his
ass chewed out by Urd, finding out Belldandy had learned a hobby just to get
close to him... and it had worked, too.
Yesterday, he was still thinking about how miserable his life was. How
this contract with a goddess was warping everything, how frustrating she
could be. Here he was now with a firm resolution to make it work with her,
and it was all thanks to some screwball logic that dragged him kicking and
screaming into the light of the truth. Unreal, just completely unreal...
You couldn't argue with results, though. Yesterday's strife and sadness
had been replaced by something vaguely like family unity. It felt like a
whole bright new future was open to him... a scary and unknown future, yes,
but one he wasn't gonna run away from anymore...
"Keiichi-sama!"
"That was quick," Keiichi said, looking over as Belldandy emerged.
"What'd you buy?"
"I got some rings!" Belldandy spoke, adding a musical little chime to
the words. "Wanna see?"
Keiichi peered at her hands. "I don't see any..."
She flipped up her bikini top.
".....oh," Keiichi finished.
"They didn't cost too much, but they're much nicer," Belldandy said,
after flipping the bikini back down. "What do you think?"
"I think my nose is bleeding," Keiichi didn't say. Instead, he laughed
and rubbed a hand behind his head. "Ah... they're nice, yeah. Really, they
are. I guess those are more your style, huh?"
"You bet," she said, adding a wink for emphasis. "Hmm. I guess we'd
better get back to the temple now, huh."
"Well... actually, Belldandy, I'd like to talk with you, if you don't
mind."
"Talk? About what, Keiichi-sama?"
"...about that -sama, for starters," he said. "I think the temple can
wait. You want to go get a cup of coffee? Or maybe some ice cream...?"
Belldandy laughed, and strolled on over to him, rolling her hips quite
suggestively as she did so. "Keiichi-sama... are you asking me out on a
daaaate?"
Keiichi backed up a step involuntarily. "Aahhh..."
"I accept!" she said, grasping his hand; a little electric touch
stunning Keiichi and making his cheeks nicely rose. "Let's go!"
"Okaay," he replied with a goofy grin. Definitely a bright future
ahead. Spooky and unknown, but bright.
That's where the scene would end, if it was over.
Instead, a dark figure continued to watch the two, from behind the
piercings and tattoos tent.
He hadn't wanted to interrupt them when they were enjoying the evening,
but if they were truly leaving for some long chat, maybe it'd be for the best
if he did. This is far too important to let linger one moment--
"You're away from your desk, Shinigami."
The God of Death turned quickly... and faced a smiling god, and two
angels backing him up for muscle. The mortals around them saw nothing, of
course. This was a matter for Heavenly bodies only.
If it was possible for Shinigami to feel major emotions, he would feel
rage. "You," he accused lightly, the best he could manage.
"I'm afraid you've left me no choice," Loki spoke sadly, shaking his
head in disappointment. "You could have come to me to confess your sins, but
now you will have to face the full consequences of your actions... you're
under arrest for violating your contractual obligations, hacking Yggdrasil to
cover your modifications, and thus spawning countless errors in reality.
Gentlemen, if you'll please...?"
Shinigami actually frowned; when pushed hard enough, he could push back.
"Loki, you snake--"
He was cut off when the larger of the two angels locked a reality bubble
around him, silencing him with null-time. The other angel grasped the
bubble, and both returned to Heaven with their new prisoner.
Loki paused a moment, to take a deep breath and relax after that...
unpleasant confrontation. A moment to smile a little more.
"And now, to repair the damage you have caused..." he spoke to himself.
"There's so much to do, and so little time. Such a pity."(*)
* TO BE CONTINUED