This is an idea spawned by a minific contest challenge to explain one of
the mysteries of Pokemon. I suppose that simply by writing a spamfic, I
am inviting MSTs as well as the usual C&C... as long as it's
sufficiently humorous, feel free to tear the story apart. ^_^ I won't
take offense.
Jane by Nidoking
The two ladies sitting at the bus stop leaped up as the trainers
passed them.
�Prepare for trouble!� shouted one.
�And while you�re at it, make it double!� added the other.
Ash sighed. �Don�t you have any other trainers to terrorize?�
Jessie smacked him on the head. �Don�t interrupt our motto!�
�Why not?� protested Ash. �We�ve heard it every day for the past
year! Just for once, can�t we dispense with the motto and get right to
�We�re blasting off again?��
�To tell you the truth, I�m not very fond of the motto either,� said
James.
Jessie hit him with her fan. �Nobody asked you!�
�Well, I�m not waiting around for you to finish,� said Misty.
�Staryu, come out!�
�Heya!� shouted Staryu.
�Staryu, show them your Geyser attack!�
James cringed. �Not the Geyser attack! Please!�
Jessie nudged him with her elbow. �James, just get on with the
plan!�
James sighed and pulled a small metal box out of his dress. �This is
your only warning, twerp. Hand over the Pikachu or we�ll let you have
this box.�
�Pikachu, Thundershock!� commanded Ash.
�Pika, CHU!� shouted Pikachu, blasting Team Rocket with a powerful
electric bolt.
When the electricity faded, Team Rocket stood completely unaffected
by the blast. �Is that the best you can do?� asked Jessie. �This box
draws in Pikachu�s electricity and turns it into destructive power.
Watch!� James pointed the box at Staryu, and a bolt of electricity shot
out, frying the Water type.
�Staryu, return!� shouted Misty. �None of my Pokemon will be able to
stand up to that box!�
�I can handle it!� shouted Ash. �Go Charizard!�
�I don�t think that�s a good idea, Ash,� warned Tracey.
�Charizard, Flamethrower!� Charizard sat down and scratched its head
with a claw. �Come on Charizard, help me out!�
�Dat Charizard is useless!� said Meowth.
�Char?� asked Charizard, staring at Meowth.
�Umm... nice Charizard?� tried Meowth.
�CHAR!� shouted Charizard, blasting Team Rocket with a massive flame
attack.
�This box doesn�t conduct flames very well,� said James. �My dress
is ruined!�
Jessie smacked him on the head. �You�re not supposed to care about
the dress! It�s just a disguise so we could get close to the Pikachu!�
�Charizard, Tail Whip!� ordered Ash. This time, Charizard responded
happily, catching Team Rocket with its tail and sending them...
�Blasting off again!�
�Way to go, Charizard!� cheered Ash. Charizard flamed him, then
settled down for a nap.
�One of these days, I�m sure he�ll learn some kind of lesson from
this,� remarked Tracey.
*************************************************
�Another day, another defeat,� moaned Jessie as she opened the door
to the apartment.
�At least we still have the box,� said James. �We could try again
tomorrow.�
�I�m too tired to think about that right now,� replied Jessie. �I�m
going to sleep.� Meowth bounded into the bedroom after her.
James closed the bedroom door. �She�s turned in early tonight,�
James thought to himself. �I can call home!� He sat in front of the
videophone and dialed a number that only he would recognize.
�Hello?� asked the woman who answered. �Who is this?�
�Mother, it�s me,� began James.
�I don�t know what you�re talking about!� insisted the woman. �I don
�t have a son!�
�I�m sorry,� said James. �I must have the wrong number.� The woman
hung up. �Or I forgot to take care of an important detail first.� He
made his way to the bathroom to take a warm shower while he reflected on
his life. True, he�d lied to Jessie about his parents, but how else
could he hide his secret? Even his real parents didn�t know about it. He
sighed. Life was like that sometimes. There was that urge to let his
loved ones know, but something in the back of his mind told him that
they would make his life a nightmare if they knew. So far, he�d been
able to keep his secret well, but the only way to do that was to
completely change the way he thought and acted.
Drying off, he seated himself in front of the phone again and hit
the redial button.
The same woman answered. �Why, hello dear! I haven�t had the chance
to speak with you in a while.�
�I�m sorry about that,� he said, brushing the tangles out of his
long golden hair. �Work has kept me pretty busy.�
�Jane, you know I worry about you and that job of yours. I�ve asked
about you, but the company says they�ve never heard of you!�
�It�s a secret organization,� James/Jane pointed out. �They can�t
just give out details about their employees.� Not to mention they really
don�t know about Jane, he added to himself.
�I know, dear, but I�m your mother! You really should come and visit
sometime.�
�I will, mother. I love you.�
�I love you too, Jane. Goodbye.� Jane hung up and returned to the
bathroom to take a cold shower. She�d never forget that fateful field
trip to China, when she�d fallen into one of those springs at that
place... what was it called again? Jinsinko? Jusenkyo?
�Oh, be careful miss!� the tour guide had shouted as she fell in.
�Is very bad you fall in Nannichuan, Spring of Drowned Man! There very
tragic story of young man who drown in spring 500 year ago. Now anyone
who fall in spring take body of a man.�
The guide had been kind enough to explain the mechanics of the curse
to Jane, and even gave her some hot water to change her back into a girl
before sending her home. But her childhood had been a disaster as she
was forced to avoid cold water or risk exposing her secret. As she grew
up, she found herself spending more and more time as a man and
masquerading as her own boyfriend whenever her parents caught her in her
cursed form. Finally, when she went out into the world, she decided to
take the identity of a man, because hot water was far easier to avoid
than cold water. She�d become rather used to her male form, but still
enjoyed being able to dress as a woman, even if it was only for a short
while.
In male form and clothing once again, James made his way to the
bedroom and slipped into the bed next to Jessie. �James?� asked Jessie.
�Do you ever want to do anything other than sleep at night?�
�Not particularly,� replied James. Jessie smacked him in the head,
then sighed with despair and fell asleep. With his arm around her, James
followed suit. One day, she would find out why he�d been rejecting her
advances all these years; but for now, he�d remain in her dreams as
James.
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Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" where we make things up as we go
along, whether they make sense or badger.
JOHNNY BRAVO: *sigh* The only woman I ever really loved... and she's
gone. I wonder if I'll ever get over - Hey! Nuggets!
JACKIE CHAN: Oh, sorry. I broke your spy camera! (pause) SPY CAMERA?!
My webpage: http://www.rose-hulman.edu/~katinamp