You wrote:
Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot
>Chapter 4
WAI!
My feelings on the matter too upon receiving this. :)
>pilot's seat, going
>over the communications panel of the 'Creeper V,' and
>hitting the transmit
>button. "What was that?" All she had caught was something
>about coming over
>to the 'Lovely Angel.'
Hmmm... smells like a missed major opportunity.
Eh? Not sure what you meant by that.
>"Weird," she murmured as she punched the code in the
>control pad that opened
>the Lovely Angel's airlock and proceeded to enter the
>ship. A momentary whim
>caused her to make a quick stop by Kei's quarters. There
>was nothing there,
>save a mess that reminded Iria that no matter now much
>Kei grew up, there
>were still some things that never changed.
:)
But it's true. :)
"Why did you want me to come over to the ship?" She
>proceeded forward,
>wanting to talk to the women face-to-face. Upon moving
>next to the chairs,
>Iria noted that would prove to be a difficult task,
>considering that there
>was nothing but a mangled mess of blood, bone and gore
>where their faces had
>been but hours before.
O_O
Acid based make-up. Gotta be careful not to apply too much.
troubleshooter would play along for a while longer, but
>if things didn't
>turn around soon, she'd start calling the shots. No
>matter what Iria's
>feelings on the matter were. Yuri was a veteran
>troubleshooter with years of
>experience, after all. She had just as much a right to
>run things as the
>older woman did.
Great characterizations in the foregoing passages, DB. Kudos. It's
building tension among the character interactions as well as the
ongoing plot. Nicely done.
Thanks. This is a lot more linear than most of my other longer work. There
are pros and cons to it. Helps concentrate on scene description as well as
characterization, I think.
>
>The Ship
Oh, you're capping all instances. I see.
Yeah. Have mixed feelings about it, though. Was originally going to leave
the ship's physical appearance a mystery for later, but oh well.
>
>If only they would receive an alarm that Zeiram was
>attacking a colony
>somewhere. That would definitely save the day. But there
>was no cry of
>klaxons, at least, not yet.
Hehehehehe.
Tried to keep a little humor running through the fic. Hope it isn't
misplaced.
>The redheaded troubleshooter was certainly up to
>something. Yuri noted that
>Kei had made them stop by a remote world and for a couple
>of hours and went
>down to the surface in a shuttle on a private errand.
>Having no leads on
>Zeiram, there was no reason not to do it. After Kei
>returned, Yuri had
>noticed that among the items she had picked up, there was
>some kind of
>squiggly pet that reminded the raven-haired
>troubleshooter of the 'Many
>Limbed Tentacle Monsters of Phallus Five'.
O_O O_O O_O
Works better than 'The Cavernous Creatures of Vaginasca Three. :)
>Now there had
>been an 'adventure'
>to be certain.
No doubt... :)
Yuri and Kei's report was lacking somewhat on details for that particular
case.
>Yuri hadn't been able to sit down for a week after
>encountering one of the more 'mighty' members of that
>particular species...
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Yuri was also mad that Kei wasn't as sore after the encounter. One of the
few times Yuri was envious of Kei's 'high intensity training' she got from
some of the guys she dated. :)
>with forced
>laughter. She knew Kei had been feeling lonely, but
>surely she wasn't THAT
>lonely.
^_^
I did mention that earlier, first chapter, I think, which feels like an
eterinty ago.
>
>Oh, Kei. You shouldn't have," Iria said, sounding on the
>verge of tears."
>You really, really shouldn't have."
LOL!
An old line. Wasn't sure if it would work.
>"Times like this I'm glad I don't have a stomach
>anymore," Bob said from the
>unit on her wrist.
Must be nice to be nothing but electrons for other reasons, as well.
:)
'Cyber-sex' takes on a whole new meaning. :)
>For a moment Yuri
>thought she could
>see them throb as though the creature was still alive.
Oog. Where's my Pepto?
Don't worry; it tastes like chicken.
>
>That didn't bode well. It was Yuri's understanding that
>the Zyngmotoivich
>possessed one of the dullest senses of taste in the
>universe and their
>digestive system was tough enough to consume any form of
>organic matter
>without a problem.
Heh.
Makes deciding what to eat a whole lot easier.
>Kei pushed her back to the table. "It's just a reflex.
>Klatuu Beasts have
>funky nervous systems. Sometimes they twitch even after
>they've been chewed
>up, so if it feels like something is trying to climb out
>of your throat
>after you've eaten it, don't worry, that's perfectly normal."
Oh, kami! Bleah! :)
It does make for interesting imagery, yes? :)
>Yuri, now quite beyond frightened and settling into
>something akin to
>battlefield shellshock, looked in twisted fascination as
>Kei sucked down a
>huge portion of tentacle, the ropy appendage waving back
>in forth in the air
>as though it were trying to get out of Kei's mouth before
>it was too late.
HAHAHAHAH!!!
Though I did like this better. :)
>
>But at least it got the job done.
Point. ^_^
Gained success for all of the wrong reasons.
>been thrown into
>the middle of a solar storm) later, Iria excused herself
>from the dinner
>table and headed back to the safety her ship. A variety
>of stomach remedies
>awaited her there. She had forgotten just how unsettling
>even a half-serving
>of Klatuu beast could be, and she had been forced to consume two.
Just out of curiosity, are you avoiding the "Klaatu" spelling from
"The Day the Earth Stood Still?" That old black-and-white scifi
classic?
Nope. Never crossed my mind, truth be told.
>typical unimaginative
>title some corporate executive in charge of the
>terraforming operation had
>no doubt named after himself. There were plenty of worlds
>like that.
>'Gorney's Relaxing Spot.' 'Mica's Rich Ore Planetoid.'
>'Disneysystem.' All
>of them stupid.
^_-
Besides, they got rodent problems in Disneysystem.
[snip]
>The two looked at each other, then came to an unspoken,
>immediate, and
>mutual decision.
>
>"Strategic withdrawal!" The cried as one as they ran for it.
Heh.
A smart version of retreating. :)
>
>And then, lighting fast, the face descended.
And thus drawing on the dream sequence at the start.
>
>
>Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
>Definitely a good place to end this one. ^_^
ARGH!!! Heh. Good cliffhanger, man!
Thanks. next chapter is kind of short though. It goes something like:
Zeriam ripped out Iria's throat and killed her, and Kei and Yuri really were
dead beneath the building.
The End.
I confess, not as much a cliffhanger the next time around. :)
As always, a roller-coaster ride, DB. Great fic!
Thanks. Hope to get more before too long, like a couple of weeks. :)
Thanks a lot for the C+C. Always great to see on fics that get a lot less
comments, like this one. Still going to stick with it though, so have no
worries about that.
D.B. Sommer