About time I got to this.
Le canard a la Pekin
'The Pecking Canary'. Nice title. Ain't it great how five years of German
has allowed me to translate the title so easily?
====================
The lunch rush had ended, and the best ramen house in Nerima stood
empty for the moment.
Ironically, it was an 'International House of Pancakes.'
It had been a tough and long lunch. The persistence of the male
Japanese libido never ceased to amaze Shampoo, and she'd been forced
to bend three different pieces of rebar into pretzels, one each for
three different crowds, to get them to quit trying to pinch her
rear... or other parts best left unmentioned,
like her grandmother's rear.
not that it would keep
them at bay for long. It wasn't good for business to pound on paying
customers, and running that gauntlet for three hours without release
had left her tense and irritable.
Hopefully they at least tip well for the eye-candy. :)
The tinkle of the front door bell
'jingle' sounds better to me. I get the image of someone taking a leak when
you say 'tinkle'
"I can't BELIEVE he ate all THREE of them, and didn't leave ANY for
the rest of us!" Shampoo could hear Akane and two others sit down,
chairs scraping against the tiled floor.
Well, Soun's a greedy bastard that way.
Shampoo stuck her head out of the kitchen. <Gack!> It was the whole
gaggle of Tendou sisters, but no Ranma. *Sigh.* Ranma could pinch
her rear anytime he wanted... and other places, too.
But not her grandmother's rear. Mousse's rear she supposed she could let
slide, though.
"Now, Akane," Kasumi smoothly said, "I'm sure Ranma-kun had good
reason for being so hungry, and he did say he was sorry. He does get
a lot of exercise, you know. Besides, if he hadn't eaten them,
Saotome-no-ojisama certainly would have." There was just the
slightest hint of disapproval in Kasumi's voice.
She'd have to spank Genma on general principles later.
Out of excuses to delay, Shampoo strode out of the kitchen to see
Akane and Nabiki looking at Kasumi with half-lidded eyes.
"Shampoo take order now?" The lethal Amazon flipped open her pastel
order pad.
and drove her pencil through Nabiki's eye. (You did say she was lethal :P)
"I can't imagine what the reason for being so hungry could be. No
one's attacked in days."
Bit wordy. I'd shorten it to. "I can't imagine why he was so hungry. No
one's...'
Akane sniffed and opened her menu.
"Maybe he just really likes duck," Nabiki offered, opening her own
menu. "I like duck."
"Well, so do *I*, but THREE whole ducks?! I mean, honestly!"
Shampoo: Shampoo agree. From the size of Akane thighs, it no look like she
eat more than two ducks for every meal.
Kasumi: Now that was a rude thing to say.
Shampoo: Shampoo sorry.
Kasumi: You're right about it, of course, but it was still a rude thing to
say.
Akane: Hey!
"They did have a very savory aroma," Kasumi observed.
"Yeah, and they weren't cheap, either." Nabiki set her menu down,
frowning.
If she's frowning I take it she hasn't gotten her sisters to agree to pay
for the bill here. :)
"There's nothing quite like a well-cooked Peking Duck," Kasumi said.
"Shampoo like duck." She then jumped, wondering why she'd even tried
to join the conversation.
Wouldn't be much of a fic if she didn't. :)
The Tendou sisters blinked at her, and then as one, turned to look
at Mousse. Mousse was frozen in mid-table wipe, trying to decide if
what Shampoo had said was good or bad for him.
Bad, stupid. :)
Shampoo rolled her eyes. "Tendou Akane? What your order?"
Akane: Leave Ranma alone?
Shampoo: No have that on menu. But nice try
Shampoo momentarily drifted away on dreamy thoughts of Akane wed to
Mousse, leaving Shampoo to comfort Ranma after having been rejected
by the kitchen destroyer. <Aiyaa! It's perfect!>
Well, only if you place some 'Veils Over Others' Eyes'.
Hell, no, that wasn't a plug. Stop being paranoid. Nobody likes a paranoid.
Especially the people out to get them.
"Akane like duck?" Shampoo interrupted Akane's explanation, much to
the latter's annoyance. "Shampoo give Akane Mousse for free."
Akane: No thanks. I like my hair just fine. But nice try.
Cologne was surprised at just how much fun living in Nerima could
be. She smiled as the conversation in the dining area started up
again.
Heh.
"Well," Akane offered, "I guess we'll just have to take your word
for that, then. No duck? Are you sure?"
Shampoo: Akane can eat Mousse if she that desperate for it. He probably
enjoy it. He act like no one go down on him for years.
Akane smirked at having elicited a slip of annoyance from Shampoo
and turned back to her menu. "Well, hang on a minute. I gotta read
tha menu."
Kasumi's eyes peered reprovingly from over the top of her own menu.
"Speech, Akane."
Speech? What's that supposed to mean?
"*I* don't have a problem with duck. What's YOUR problem with
duck?!"
"Shampoo no have problem with DUCK!
Shampoo pulled out a sword. "But Akane going to have all the 'duck' she can
handle if she no place order soon and Shampoo start swinging at head."
Shampoo steamed at Akane, but nodded. "Is BIRD! ALL is bird!" She
raised her abused order pad and smiled thinly. "So, one garlic
chicken for Naaa-biii-kiii?"
Nabiki cocked an eyebrow at Shampoo's pronunciation,
Considering how everyone butchers Shampoo's name, Nabiki's got nothing to
gripe about. :)
"Ranma really likes duck," Akane said on a long shot, wondering if
she could goad Shampoo into anything further. She succeeded.
"FINE! Airen want duck?! Airen go marry MOUSSE!"
And somewhere in Nerima, Ranma looked over the koi rod he had finally
rediscovered. All he had to do now would be to 'Cast a Second Line in the
Sea' and Mousse would finally be his at last.
"HEY!" Mousse finally had to comment.
Kasumi: But it would certainly settle some issues around here. Might raise a
few others, though.
"... ... Shampoo not say that. Nope. Is old Joketsuzoku technique.
Make you THINK you hear that."
Heh
The pencil in Shampoo's hand snapped in two. "Then TAKE MOUSSE OR
ORDER SOMETHING ON MENU!"
"You donn't
don't
have to SHOUT IT!" Akane rejoined, genuinely miffed.
"WHAT... What you want, then?! Mousse or food?! Yes?!"
Akane blinked and looked at the blind boy, who was blinking back at
her. "Mousse?" she said querulously. "Why would I--"
Well, he's one of the few guys around that puts no demands on you or craves
your attention, therefore gaining the least of your ire. Hey, it could work.
:)
"What?!" Mousse was still trying to assimilate the strange
conversation.
That might take a while.
"But, Shampoo!"
"Look, you bimbo!" Akane growled.
That was it. Shampoo decided to let her have it. "< And somehow is it my
fault plebians such as yourselves are reduced to speaking solely in your own
inherent barbaric tongue rather than learning a civilized language that is
spoken by nearly a sixth of the world? Why must it be that I am set upon by
the vast forces of this universe, nay, impaled by the daggers of humanity's
ignorance and am forced to employ a language that holds no interest for one
as incredibly beautiful as the sea, nay, as the stars themsel-->"
Her diatribe was cut short by a thrown pan that connected with the back of
her head. Cologne poked her head from out fo the kitchen. "How many times
must I tell you to speak in Japanese? By all the gods child, you're worse
than Kunou when you use our native tongue. I should have thrown you in the
spring of drowned mute."
"ARGH! I don't WANT Mousse! As a husband OR ingredients!"
"Why not? He make FINE duck-- er, airen for Akane!"
He's a versitile guy.
"PEKING DUCK, DAMN IT!" Akane scowled back.
"TAKE MOUSSE! He go Beijing once!!"
Heh
"ACK!!" Mousse squawked again and plastered himself against the
wall, laid out like a large fowl about to be de-boned.
"Shampoo want TALK to you! You be airen to Akane!"
"HEY!" Akane shouted. "That's NOT what I MEANT!!"
But that's what you're going to get. :)
"Guys sunbathe topless, and I'm a guy,"
A guy with big knockers, but still a guy.
she grumbled to herself.
<Too bad Tendou-san doesn't see it that way...> But she then smiled
as the sun started warming her. There was just something about the
way she felt when sunning in this body that was just so utterly...
pleasant that she wished she could do it completely nude. She
grinned naughtily, but decided not to put name to any other feelings
she might be having.
Especially since this isn't labeled 'Lime' :)
Genma-panda growled and held up a sign. <"For the FIFTH TIME! Quit
ogling my son!"> The panda grumped to himself as the sign flipped
around in time to a noise from his stomach. <"Dratted, ungrateful
boy! Didn't even leave me any duck!">
Heh. Cute.
D.B. Sommer