Date: Fri, 27 Oct 2000 10:23:26 -0700 (PDT)
From: Thryth <thrythlind@yahoo.com>
Subject: [Ranma][Fusion][Alt] MA&M: 3rd Edition [3]
To: Fan Fiction Mailing List <ffml@fanfic.html>
Part 3: I Hate Men...
*******
"Court?" Ranma repeated blandly, not
believing
what he had just heard. "Are you crazy?"
"Well, we ARE going to be staying a while,"
Genma noted.
"Yeah, and they require attendance from at
least some members of the named families," Nabiki
explained. "Akane and I both attend. We'll see you
there. Unless you want people to start asking why
you
don't attend."
Ranma turned to the girl dressed in simple,
but
well made, court gown, and tried to find what
brought
on that last comment. As expected, he ran into a
wall
around her surface thoughts. Though the phrase "how
much" wasn't quite what he was expecting.
"Nabiki, wait!" Akane called out. She was
dressed much more practically, wearing an engraved
suit of leather armor. A well made warhammer sung
from a belt loop at her side. "I'll go with you!"
"Of course," Nabiki smiled. "But let's wait
for Ranma so we can show him the way." Akane turned
to look at the sourly glaring young man.
"Can't he find Furinkan Hall himself," she
asked irritably. "It isn't exactly hard to do."
"Now, now, how would it look for us to avoid
him like that?" Nabiki asked. "Hmm?"
"I'm here you know," Ranma muttered under his
breath.
*******
Akane glared once up at Ranma, where he was
walking along the canal wall, as if he couldn't be
bothered with the ground like anyone normal. The
way
he kept glancing into the sky confirmed that for
her.
As if he could really fly.
Ranma glanced back a moment and scratched his
head, Nabiki was trailing behind them. It didn't
seem
like she was doing more than idly watching the
scenery
as they walked along, but that alone bothered him.
He
wasn't certain what kind of Metallium she was,
Xellos'
priesthood ranged the gamut of morallity, their
patron
being more concerned with knowledge and intrigue
than
anything else. The one constant was that they
schemed.
"We're not going to get married, you know!"
Akane said under her breath, so that her sister
couldn't hear.
"Hey, I didn't agree to it either," Ranma
said.
"So don't crowd me at the court," Akane said.
"Yeah, like I want to hang around an
berserker
like you," Ranma insisted. Akane growled and reared
her warhammer back to get ready to toss it. The
weapon never left her hand, however, as Ranma's
father
appeared out of nowhere to smack him on the head.
"Pop, what do you..." Ranma started.
"You're in no position to be choosy about
women!" Genma shouted, Nabiki arched an eyebrow at
the
comment. "Listen, Ranma, I'll only tell you this
once...." Genma was cut off as his son swept his
feet
out from under him. The older man fell straight
down
to the canal.
~I'm in a better position to be choosy than
anybody else, you idiot,~ Ranma thought as he
watched
his father fall. He stared down at the panda and
snickered. "What's wrong Pop, weren't you going to
say something?"
The panda leaped up from the canal to the top
of the wall eliciting a quick scramble from Akane
and
Ranma. Nabiki had already calmly stepped away from
the probable region of battle. The giant panda
swiped
at his son, who easily dodged back, landing lightly
several yards away from a chagrinned panda.
"Feeling a little heavy, Pop?" Ranma asked as
an old woman was washing her walk a few feet away.
"More so than usual, anyway." That was when a
splash
of water covered him. The half-demon looked down,
at
least the trigger spell worked.
"Nabiki!" Akane shouted at her sister.
"A little flat footed yourself, aren't you
Ranma?" the elder Tendo snickered, though she wasn't
too happy. She'd been hoping to catch Ranma
not-changing.
"How's he...she....err Ranma supposed to show
up like that!" Akane demanded.
"What's wrong with this?" Ranma asked. Then
mentally slapped her forehead. ~Oh, that's right.~
"Well, you can't really go to court as woman,
can you," Nabiki said. "Those clothes are bad
enough
as it is. I suppose we have no choice though, where
could we find hot water in time. Can't introduce
Akane's new fiancee as a woman either."
"Uh, she's a priestess of Ryoko," Ranma
pointed
out.
"What does that mean!" Akane demanded.
"He has a point, Akane," Nabiki said rubbing
her temples. "Though that reminder did give me a
painful image of you and the other resident Masaaki
clerics."
"EWWWW!" Akane shivered.
"And do you really want to add a new
demographic to the morning fun?" Nabiki added as
Akane
twitched.
"Listen, I'll just present myself tomorrow,"
Ranma interrupted, the conversation was making her
hungry.
"No you won't," Akane snapped. "I'm not
going
to have a honorless vagabond about my family's
monastery. Master Tofu is just up the way, we can
get
hot water there."
*******
Ranma peeked around the carved column
advertising the healer's services as Akane asked for
hot water.
"Well, this is a wonderful way to start the
day," Nabiki said dry pan. "So, are you feeling
fine,
Saotome? The...curse not giving you any trouble?"
Ranma continued leaning against the column and
turned
to face the other Tendo girl.
"Why wouldn't I feel fine?" Ranma asked. She
glanced around for something that could cause
discomfort. There was nothing in the air, and the
only magic she could see were some strong protection
from evil spells about the clinic.
"I was just curious," Nabiki said, smirking.
"Never met a shape changer before." ~Well, he's
either not evil, or not a true Outsider. I'll have
to
run another tes...~ Both teens froze when a pair of
bony hands clasped their shoulders. Turning around
they saw a bleached white skull staring at them.
"AHHH!!!" they both screamed before moving.
A
black nimbus had started to form around Ranma's
hands
as Nabiki brandished her holy symbol in an attempt
to
rebuke the undead creature. Both actions fizzled as
they saw the man holding the inert skeleton. The
man
did seem to notice the nature of power Ranma was
drawing on though.
"Oh pardon me," the man said in a friendly
tone. "Nothing to worry about ladies, just me and
Betty."
"Master Tofu..." Nabiki growled.
"Ranma, here's the hot..." Akane said, coming
around the corner.
"Well, Akane!" Tofu welcomed her.
"Oh," Akane gasped as her tone voice suddenly
became much lighter. "Master!"
"Um...Good Morning!" She set the kettle of
hot
water on her currently female fiancee's head.
"Good morning to you," the tall man said, bow
himself and his skeleton as the younger Tendo bowed
as
well. Ranma looked from Akane to the healer and
back
again. Nabiki herself watched Ranma as the redhead
stood up straight and walked around a corner with
the
kettle.
~Was that...disappointment I saw?~ Nabiki
asked
herself, she was already bored with the usual
tension
between Akane and Tofu.
"You haven't been by lately," Tofu said. "No
new injuries?"
"No sir," Akane said timidly. "I mean, I
haven't been doing anything that would..."
"Interesting," Ranma said as the now male
martial artist listened from around the corner. He
had almost forgotten to use the water, a point that
was emphasized as Nabiki started talking to his
side.
"You realize that even if you find a way out
of
an engagement with Akane," Nabiki started. "That
you'd be saddled on my other sister or I."
"We'll see about that," Ranma hmphed.
*******
"So who was that?" Ranma asked as they
continued on the way to Furinkan Hall.
"Master Tofu," Akane said. "The local
healer."
"And general pest for an honest Metallium,"
Nabiki added with a touch of fond irritation. The
middle girl was falling behind again.
"He's mastered some martial arts and magic
too,
hasn't he," Ranma added.
"Huh? How could you tell?" Akane asked.
"Yeah, I'm wondering that too," Nabiki
admitted.
~I never even felt him coming,~ Ranma thought
to himself. ~Its like he wasn't even there.~ He
didn't actually answer though.
"He is truly very good," Akane said. "But he
doesn't look like he'd be, does he? Ever since I
was
little, he's taken care of my injuries." Ranma
hopped
off the wall and started running by Akane. Nabiki
started to pick up her pace to keep up, but couldn't
help but to fall behind the other two.
"So," Ranma said. "Isn't he a man?"
"Yes, so?" Akane asked curiously.
"I thought you said you hate men!" Ranma
answered back. Akane glanced down and considered
that. That's when Ranma felt the presence of magic
building, he glanced over at the priestess and saw
her
hands weaving an intricate pattern as they ran. The
red glow of Ryoko's power flashed brightly once
before
she started talking.
"That's right!" Akane growled. Ranma flinced
away from her as she became obviously more angry.
"I...DESPISE..."
The grand structure of Furinkan Hall came
into
view and Ranma saw a mass of people rushing out
towards them. As the two parties advanced, Ranma
identified a mass of militia warriors charging
toward
them.
"AKANE TENDO'S HERE!!" one of the crowd
shouted.
"Wha-?" Ranma raised his hand to his eyes to
figure out what was going on.
"MEN!!!" Akane completed her rage-filled
declaration.
"Akane!" somebody yelled. "Don't come any
closer! They all want to BEAT you!" Ranma leaped
away away from the crowd as Akane merely plowed
through them.
"Out of my way!" Akane shouted. "I'm late!"
"No, Akane!" "I'll stop you!!" "I won't let
another guy beat! I'll do it myself."
Ranma watched quietly from the outer wall of
the main keep, moderately impressed. He'd never
seen
a true berserker before, much less one further
empowered by martial training and magic.
"Huff, huff, You should huff get inside,"
Nabiki took a breath from where she half-limped to
the
wall under Ranma.
"But...but..." Ranma pointed at the massacre.
"What's wrong with you?"
"I'm, huff, fine," Nabiki paused to lean
against the wall and catch her breath. "And don't
worry about Akane, huff, she does this every day."
As
Nabiki said that, the walking force of destruction
that was Akane flipped back her hair and glanced
about
at her handiwork.
"Ryoko's Gems," she declared. "Every
morning!
What a drag!"
"Truly such a boorish lot," Ranma paused in
his
move to come down from the wall as the new voice
joined in.
"Evidently each of them intends to court you,
Akane," the tall young man said. Ranma noted the
bokken he was holding and the stance. "On the dawn
that he finally defeats you."
"Oh, Sir Kuno," Akane deadpanned, looking
very
weary suddenly. "Good morning."
"And now, Akane Tendo," the young man tossed
the rose he was holding towards her, and brought his
weapon up. "Might you fight with me?" Ranma landed
next to her.
"Man," the pigtailed martial artist said.
"You're popular, aren't you?"
"Stay out of the way," Akane snapped.
"You'll
get hurt."
"This doesn't look like your idea," Ranma
noted. "What's going on?"
"You'll see," Akane said.
"You there!" Kuno shouted, gesturing at Ranma
with his bokken. "You are being quite familiar with
Akane!"
"Tell him, Akane," Ranma said. "Akane?"
"Tell him what?"
""Who are you boor?" Kuno shouted. "Ah! But
is it not the..." A sudden silence descended on the
ranting swordsman.
"Chill, little Kuno, I'm not interested in
speeches right now," Nabiki said dryly as she walked
by. The young woman was fixxing her hair and
checked
her gown to make sure she hadn't wrinkled it. "He's
Akane's new fiancee. Well, I have business to
attend
to, ta! Oh, you can talk now." The swordsman was
staring at the ground and shaking in rage.
"NABIKI!!" Akane screamed. "Why did you tell
him that?!" The retreating girl shrugged off the
demand.
"..accept your engagement to Akane Tendo, you
fiend!!!" Kuno declared mid rant as Nabiki's silence
spell ended.
"Huh, fiend? What do you mean fiend?" Ranma
asked nervously as Kuno ranted on.
"Anyone who would stand between a righteous
paladin of Tenchi Masaki and his true love must be a
fiend," Kuno declared. "A veritable fiend of man,
indeed." The swordsman lunged forward with a slash
at
Kuno that the younger Saotome easily dodged with a
back-flip.
~This guy serves Tenchi?~ Ranma asked himself
as dodged through the air. ~He feels more like a
raving pervert to me. Mom had a word for guys like
this, didn't she...cornucopiea or something like
that.~
"I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of
Furinkan
Hall," the swordsman raised his sword and a bolt of
thunder struck down from the quickly darkening sky.
"Shall keep you from hounding Akane." The swordsman
lunged forward again and attacked.
"Hey!" Ranma dodged to the side as the wooden
sword cleaved through the wall behind him. ~How'd
he
do that, he's not a true paladin, so what?~ "I
ain't
hounding nobody, its an arranged marriage, dork!"
This was said from Ranma's perch on the side of a
tree. The swordsman paused a moment to stare at the
strange sight before attacking with his sword.
"Blast it!" the swordsman yelled as his
target
dodged again.
"Now hold a moment here!" Ranma shouted as he
landed next to the tree branch, seeming to float to
the ground. "Let me make this perfectly clear!"
"Eh?" suddenly the martial artist's face was
almost rammed into the swordsman's own.
~Astounding,~ Akane declared. ~He was there
before Kuno could blink, and he's still not using
any
magic yet!~
"I ain't after Akane!" Ranma declared
~This guy,~ Kuno paused in his thoughts as he
grudgingly continued. ~Is good.~
"If you want a crazy woman who says 'friends'
one moment," Ranma shouted. "And trys to kill you
the
next, you can have her!"
"Why you, PERVERT!!!" Akane shouted tossing
her
warhammer at the younger warrior.
"Would you stop calling me a p..." Ranma's
demand was cut short as he saw the oncoming
warhammer
and Kuno slashed out.
"Speaking ill of Akane!" Kuno declared. "I
forbid it!" The bokken connected with and sliced
through Akane's hammer, finding no Ranma. Another
crack of thunder split the day as Kuno looked up to
see his opponent, darkened and indistinct against
the
intense light beyond. Ranma's left hand was curled
into a semi-fist with two fingers extended, and he
almost seemed to be hovering in the air.
A wide-eyed Kuno slashed up with his sword as
those two fingers touched his forehead. The rain
started even before Ranma landed. As for how the
battle would have ended up, it was hard to tell. As
Ranma touched down on the ground a hammer formed of
red, blazing energy swung and hammered Kuno into the
air.
"You BROKE my hammer, jerk!" Akane shouted,
arms crossed as she directed the magical hammer to
follow Kuno. She looked over to where her fiancee
had
landed, and eeped as she saw the young woman Ranma
had
become. Leaving her spell to its own devices, she
grabbed the redhead and dragged her away.
*******
"What did you do that for?" Ranma demanded.
"Look at yourself!" Akane explained gesturing
at the breasts.
"Oh, that," Ranma shrugged as if it wasn't
too
important. ~This whole act is going to get very
annoying.~
"Yes, THAT!" Akane snapped. "What was the
deal
with Kuno?"
"Hmph, I would have nailed that poseur in
one..." Ranma started.
"Before you continue, take a look at your
neck," Akane interrupted. Ranma complied and
checked
her neck.
"There's a bruise!" Ranma said, angry. "That
jerk ruined my perfect complexion!! Ohhh, I'm
gonna..."
"Are you sure you're not a girl?" Akane asked
dryly.
"What do you mean?" Ranma asked, confused.
Of
course she was a girl right now, what else did she
look like.
~Just how complete IS that curse?~ Akane
wondered. "Anyway, considering what could have
happened if he actually touched you with that stick,
I'd say it was pretty even, wouldn't you?"
"Oh, I don't know about that," Ranma said,
smirking.
"Let's just go get some hot water," Akane
growled.
~Or at least privacy and a chance to fake
it,~
Ranma mentally added.
*******
Nabiki watched as Kuno examined his forehead
in
the mirror. He had come running into the study
Nabiki
usually habituated, followed closely by Akane's
spirit
hammer. The spell cut off a moment later and Nabiki
had the dubious pleasure of healing the abused
fighter.
"And you're telling me you didn't even feel
him
touching you?" Nabiki gasped. ~Amazing, I REALLY
need
to find out Ranma's motives quickly.~
"Hmph," Kuno said, rubbing the marks on his
forehead. "And here I thought the man was good,
when
he can't even spell!" The man turned to a table and
carved a series of symbols into the table. "It is
spelled THIS way!"
Nabiki looked from the "boofun" on the table
to
the "buffet" on Kuno's head.
"Actually, little-Kuno," Nabiki said. "I
think
he put exactly what he wanted on your head."
=====
"Caffeinated Kender? What's that, a berserk spell?"
-
Tribble, Kender Warrior of the Celestial Kingdom
"God has to have a sense of humor, it's the only
explanation for sex." - my father
"I have to write a how-to paper for class, so I'm
writing a paper on how to be psuedo-evil." - my
brother
http://members.aol.com/thrythlind/snake.html
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