General comments are... this whole fic has been resting on the
technical,
with Elvor's Crusher as a not-too-important antagonist.
True... it's more of a plot advancement than anything else. It's meant
to be a bridge between the first battle between Jellic and Elvor and...
what comes afterwards.
Actually, if one would consider the whole fic's plot carefully, one
would find that
this has all been a soap opera of sorts, with Jellic & Katana.
You're talking about just this chapter, right? I wouldn't say that all
26 chapters focus on this non-relationship!
What surprised me is how Ashley is taking all this... but as you have
explained, this is basically _Jellic's_ hateful quest, so the entire
fic's POV
rests solely and solely on Jellic.
True, I'm not really focusing too much on Ashley's reaction to Katana's
arrival, choosing instead to concentrate on the Jellic/Katana end of the
relationship. Ashley's a little jealous of Katana, but Jellic isn't
paying Katana much attention, you know? As he mentions, he doesn't feel
that way about her any more. So Ashley's just glad that Katana's there
to help them out.
I've been spoiled but such fics as Ammadeau's Kumiko the Demon Girl
and
Krista Perry's Hearts of Ice... as such, the are multiple characters
focused,
much akin to a Russian novel. But in JHQ, the whole action is shifted
solely on
Jellic, with glimpses here and there on the other characters.
True. That's the style that I used when starting the story, and it
wouldn't work very well to change styles in midstory. My own Ranma
fanfics concentrate more on a wider number of characters in the style
you seem to prefer...
I think the problem here is not a lack of character building, but an
excess of development for characters who are more peripheral to the
story I'm trying to tell. I have a tendency when I write (especially
when I plan too far ahead) to introduce new characters who don't fit
into the story. They invariably manage to worm their way into my heart
with their unique personalities and often become more important to the
story than I had originally planned. The amount of involvement of, say,
Arthur (I know how much you like the guy) in the main plot is well more
than I had intended... as far as my original plan goes, he's well
over-developed! More on this later, I think.
Hmmm... I can understand why most readers emphasize on this and
that
(Katana's Hateful Quest... Arthur's just the best... Elvor the lord of
darkness...
Ashley, Jellic-obsessed...) is because Nidoking, you have a great
bunch of
characters. No $hit.
My specialty. *bows politely* I always try to make my characters
interesting (as stated above...), and maybe they become TOO interesting
for their roles in the story.
I still remember Nell and the others... such a shame to see them die.
Now, the
reason why people (or me, anyway) feel that the story is downplayed
because
the character's have sooo much potential to evolve on their own.
I know... I pictured this story as more of a snapshot of Jellic's life
than an all-encompassing portrait of a hero. It would be great to write
a HOI/Shampoo 1/2-sized epic, but I know I don't have the time for that.
My description is generally a bit thin, so I rely entirely on the action
to carry the story as long as it goes. Still... I suppose I just like to
follow the rules of showmanship: Always leave the reader wanting more.
Maybe it doesn't work here... but believe me, I long just as much as the
reader does to see more of the characters. More on that later...
It's definitely like Ranma. Why so many Ranmafics? Takahashi-sama have
created wonderful characters with wonderful potential. You did the
same in
JHQ, so that's why readers like to touch up and connect with the
story... then
again, maybe that's just me. :)
I'm all about characters with potential... I often find myself creating
new plots long after the original story is over and find myself planning
a sequel just so that I can work with the characters again... I'd cite
an example from some anime scripts I wrote, but I don't plan to release
them on this list, since I'm hoping to have them animated someday.
Basically, the first story takes place twenty years before the coming of
a great demon... and once I finished it, I found myself merging scenes
that hadn't made it into the movie into a coherent storyline for a
sequel. In the case of JHQ, it probably wouldn't be a sequel as such...
see below.
Anyway... I'm still looking forward for the story, plotwise... the
reason why
Katana was so upset (what has she done?), and what ultimately becomes
of
Jellic.
Yep. The last few chapters took a very long time to write... I hope the
fact that I'm sending one chapter per day doesn't diminish their effect,
or the effort that I put into them.
Hmmm... you know what I can suggest? After ending JHQ... side stories.
Becuase those characters you made deserve them. ^_^
I would certainly enjoy that... but I won't say more about this yet, for
fear of giving the ending away. Perhaps when I release the Epilogue in 3
days, people will have more to say. I might be persuaded to work on some
side stories if I get some responses.
Looking forward for more,
C. Casta�eda
You'll get it...
- Nidoking
Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" where we make things up as we go
along, whether they make sense or badger.
JOHNNY BRAVO: *sigh* The only woman I ever really loved... and she's
gone. I wonder if I'll ever get over - Hey! Nuggets!
JACKIE CHAN: Oh, sorry. I broke your spy camera! (pause) SPY CAMERA?!
My webpage: http://www.rose-hulman.edu/~katinamp