For most of the time I've been subscribed to this list, I've tended to shy
away from original fics. Then the latest installation of Cranky AnyFic
Comments highly recommended Demon-Girl Kumiko, so I read and enjoyed it.
Therefore, when RoD 5 showed up, I decided to go ahead and read it as well.
So, I've read chapters one through five in one sitting (well, okay, I did have
to go to class between chapters three and four).
A rather enjoyable read, I must say, and I'm looking forward to chapter 6.
However, there are some inconsistencies I feel a need to point out.
In chapter five (which I no longer have; it got lost in the rapid shutdown
necessitated by the distinct possibility of lightning strikes), your character
expresses ignorance at Tuzi's talk of "main character" and "story arc". Yet
in earlier chapters he explicitly references various manga, and seems to be
accepting of his life as a story.
To be specific, in chapter two we have "That's the third gratuitous Ranma 1/2
reference in this part." Your character doesn't question that statement.
In chapter three, he accepts Tuzi's explanation of "plot advancement" for why
she is willing to put up with Ranma's presence when she had expressed such
derision for him before. In that same chapter, he gives Shampoo the ability
to speak English by what amounts authorial fiat--from within the story. More
on this later.
Also, at the end of chapter four, Biles says to him, "Kudos for not copping
out and using the barber from hell as the principal." There may be more, but
those are all I can recall off the top of my head. Don't you think this is
somewhat contradictory with his reaction to the terms "story arc" and "main
character" in chapter five?
About your granting Shampoo the ability to speak English.... I have no real
problem with that, and it is a rather funny scene. The problem comes in when
you look at Ranma, of whom, I believe, it is explicitly stated that he can not
speak that language. Wasn't that one of the classes he was embarrassed about
having the exam scores announced publicly?
Defender of the Light
Elite Mage
Junior Member of the Inner Circle of the Mage's Council
"Contrary to popular opinion, magic and science _do_ mix."
"Of _course_ I cheated. Scientists think magic is cheating, and mages think
most forms of technology are cheating. I use both."
http://nav.to/defender
____________________________________________________________________
Get your own FREE, personal Netscape WebMail account today at http://home.netscape.com/webmail