You might consider moving the scene where the box opens and Akane reads
the books until a little later in the fic. Since I don't know what
you've got in mind, I can't be sure, but it seems like you might be
falling into the trap of going into your backstory before the readers
have a reason to want to learn about it. Once we see a little of your
version of Ranma doing things and having an effect on the present-day
story, we'll be more likely to want to know about his past.
## Good point. I wasn't completely satisfied with my first draft anyway.
One minor point is that you might want to be clearer on how large the
box is. When it showed up I imagined it as breadbox-sized -- but then it
was rather jarring when Akane started pulling book after book out of it.
## This was intentional, but I will fix. Like, have Akane wonder how so
much junk gets packed in there.
All in all, it looks interesting so far, and I'm looking forward to
seeing more of it.
## Good!
Leif Johnson
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