And here's the draft of AMD 5. C&C till Shuma dies.
Enjoy.
=======================================================================
Adulthood of a Modern Dynasty
Chapter 5: A Mammoth Battle
Ranma 1/2 characters/situations created and copyright by Rumiko
Takahashi/Shogakukan/Kitty/Fuji/Viz - Used without permission
Adulthood of a Modern Dynasty series created, written, and
copyright 2000 by Jim Lazar
An ongoing series set after the end of the Ranma 1/2 manga and anime.
For maximum enjoyment of this fanfic series, please read my Childhood of
Modern Dynasty series before reading Adulthood.
E-mail comments and/or criticisms to: mailto:jimlazar@animeprime.com
Make sure to check out my Modern Dynasty website for
all released AMD stories, graphics files, and other information:
http://www.animeprime.com/ff/md
=======================================================================
September 2-3, 2005 - India
A young girl around ten years old skipped though the woods towards
her secret lake, clutching a bouquet of wild flowers in her hand. Her
simple, yet pretty, dress bounced along with her. The yellows of the
dress accenting her dark skin perfectly.
She smiled as the lake came into view and quickly made her way to
the waiting water. She paused a few meters from the shore when she
noticed a man wearing dirty robes hunched over the edge of the lake.
"My mommy said not to drink from the lake," the girl said in Hindi.
The man stopped scooping water into his mouth at hearing her voice,
but didn't respond or turn around.
"The river water is better." The little girl looked to the north
where the river fed into the lake.
The man didn't respond.
"Want to smell my flowers, mister?" The little girl stepped forward
and held out the flowers she had collected on the way to the lake.
The man slowly turned around part way, revealing his handsome Asian
features to the girl. "Energy," he said in a very crude form of the
girl's language.
The girl misunderstood the comment. "No, they're flowers. You smell
them." The girl demonstrated by sniffing the flowers and then held them
out towards the man again.
The man leaned forward and sniffed the flowers, revealing the rest
of his face to the girl.
The girl flinched at first, but then looked closely at the figure's
half-male and half-female face. "You look funny."
The man was surprised at the calm reaction from the little girl.
Everyone else he had come across since his rebirth had screamed and run
in terror. Of course, the screaming ended once he had caught them and
drained the life from them to replenish his severely depleted energy
reserves. "Energy." Reaching for the little girl, he was thankful that
he wouldn't have to expend any energy to collect hers.
"You're a girl too, mister!!" The girl pulled one of the flowers
from her bouquet and put it behind the girl side's ear. "You're
pretty!!"
The figure put her hand to the female side of her head and smiled.
"My name is Anthy, what's yours?"
"My name is Shuma." He reached a hand out towards Anthy. "And I
need something from you-" He smiled. "-Anthy."
-A- -M- -D-
The next day after washing her body in the lake, Shuma sat naked
on the shore and combed her formerly tangled hair using the brush the
little girl had with her the day before. "I'm pretty."
She shook her shoulder length hair as she stood up and walked over
to the robes that she had cleaned and hung up to dry. She fingered one
of the white robes she usually wore under her black cloak. Finding it
dry, she slipped it off the tree branch it was hanging on and then
wrapped it around her teenage body. She picked a flower and put it
behind her ear as she strolled down the lake's shore.
She found Anthy on the edge of the lake near the river. "Well,
hello."
Anthy looked up and smiled. "Hi, Shuma!!"
Shuma smiled. "Do I look pretty?"
"Sure do." Anthy looked into the woods. "Come on, she's nice."
Shuma followed her gaze and saw about a dozen kids--who ranged in
age anywhere from half of Anthy's age to their early teens--huddled
behind trees and bushes, all staring at her. "Well, hello."
Various cries of amazement, fright, and curiosity emanated from the
kids when they saw Shuma's split face.
"Come on out," Anthy said, motioning to her friends. Slowly, they
started to come forward and look closely at Shuma.
One of the older boys, reached out and touched Shuma's single
breast through the white robe. "She's got a real boob!"
"Like you would know it by touch," one of the older girls remarked.
The little group started asking question after question, which went
unanswered.
After several minutes, Shuma turned towards Anthy. "Are these all
your friends?"
"Yeah... except for Raj. He's a baby and wouldn't come."
"Well then-" Shuma reached his hand towards the nearest kid.
"-thank you all for coming."
Cries of terror echoed across the forest, but there was no one
there to hear them.
-A- -M- -D-
September 3, 2005 -Nerima, Japan
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear
Ayami!!" The assembled friends, family and guests all sang and clapped
in the large Tendo/Saotome dojo.
Ayami giggled and looked at the four candles on her cake. "Hiryu
Shtoen Ha!!" she screamed.
Akane eyes went wide and her head snapped towards Ranma. "You
didn't!!"
Ranma smiled. "Nope, but I told her to say that just to freak you
out."
Akane's glared turned into an amused smiled. "Brat."
After Ayami blew out the candles with her breath in lieu of a cold
chi-based tornado, they cut the cake and divided it amongst the guests,
which were mostly family members and close friends.
As the last piece was handed out the roof caved in, sending dust
everywhere. A man carrying a woman and two children crashed to the
floor. "Where the heck are we now!!"
A little boy giggled. "Daddy said heck!"
"Better than hell!" the newly arrived girl said.
A young woman scolded her daughter. "Shhhh... Subuta, you shouldn't
use that word."
Akane smiled as the dust settled around the newcomers. "Hi, Ryoga."
"Glad you could drop in, pal." Ranko remarked dryly as she looked
up at the hole in the roof.
Ryoga smiled nervously as he helped Akari to her feet. "Sorry about
the entrance."
Akari smiled at her husband and then straightened the twin pigtails
on their almost three-year-old daughter, who had her eyes and Ryoga's
ears.
Ryoga dusted his almost four year-old son off, who had his father's
nose. "Plleezz... leggo of Daddy's nozze," Ryoga wheezed.
Ranma laughed. "You should have seen the entrance that Yukiko made
the last time she visited with her husband and two kids." He held his
hands out wide. "Hundreds of Amazons all over the place."
Ryoga nodded. "I heard about that on the news." He smirked. "Amazon
fan club convention, indeed."
Ranma smiled proudly. "That cover has worked so far."
"And Nabiki made a killing selling cheap T-shirts." Ranko remarked.
"Hey, I gave Nipplering a cut for modeling them," Nabiki insisted as
she brushed the dust off Mousse.
"And the Amazon wet T-shirt competition?" Ranko asked, accusingly.
"I needed some capital to start Tendo Enterprises, okay?" Nabiki
smirked at the huge windfall that contest had been. <A couple more like
that and I won't need my IPO after all.>
Akane smiled at Akari. "You're looking good."
Akari smiled. "Thanks." She scanned the dojo, which included all
the Tendos, Onos, and Saotomes except for Genma, Nodoka and their
youngest son who were still on their training trip. A number of Amazons
were there too. "Oh... did we interrupt something?"
Akane smiled. "Ayami's third birthday party. We sent you an
invitation."
Akari's eyes widened. "Great! That's what we were trying to find."
She looked at her husband. "Nice job, honey."
Ryoga smiled nervously. "Well... Tonkatsu helped."
Akari laughed and explained for everyone. "Little Tonkatsu is
getting pretty good at keeping his father from getting lost."
"Daddy get lost a lot!" little Tonkatsu blurted.
Akane chuckled.
Akari brushed the dust of her skirt. "Sorry about the entrance, but
Ryoga won't let me walk further than our front door in my condition."
She patted her belly.
Akane smiled. "Another one on the way, huh?"
Akari nodded. "Yes, it seems like every time our prized sow gets
pregnant, so do I."
Ranma laughed at hearing that. "Are you sure that Ryoga's not
fooling around on you?"
Akari chuckled.
"Are you saying I'd cheat on my lovely wife with a pig?!" Ryoga
shouted.
"Yeah."
"Ranma, prepare to die!!"
The birthday party quickly turned into a battle royal. The kids
quickly took sides, mostly along family lines. Well, Ranko was cheering
for Ryoga, but she's not a kid.
Akane shook her head sadly. <My husbands are such children
sometimes.> She looked at Akari. "Sorry about this."
Akane smiled sweetly. "It's okay, my husband could use a good
workout."
Akari gasped when she saw Ukyo and a line of bassinets. "Oh my..."
As the battle raged around her, Akari strolled over to Ukyo and her
babies. "Do you mind?"
Ukyo smiled and shook her head. "Be my guest."
Akari paused to let her husband fly by and crash into the nearby
wall before she bent down and picked up the little potbellied pig
sitting by the bassinets. "Oh, he's so cute!" She pulled the pig into
her bosom and hugged him tightly.
Ukyo was a little stunned that Akari hadn't come over to see her
babies, like all the other guests had when they first arrived. Then she
realized that Akari raised champion sumo pigs, so would be more inclined
to notice the pig instead of the sextuplets. Of course, there was one
thing special about this particular pig. "Um... Akari, that's my
husband."
Akari stopped just before kissing the pig on the snout. "Huh?"
"One of Sanma's curses is a pig."
Akari pulled the pig away and noticed the red swirl pattern on his
back. "Oh... sorry. I just couldn't resist."
Ukyo smiled. "Ryoga's not pig enough for you?"
Akari blushed. "More than enough."
"What was that?" Ryoga shouted as he kicked Ranma across the room
to the delight of Ranko.
And to the dismay of the birthday girl. "Don't lose, Daddy!"
Ranma hopped back to his feet from where he had crashed. "Ranma
Saotome never loses!!"
After several more Ranma and Ryoga shaped indentions were made in
the dojo's concrete walls, Akane declared the match a tie when the first
chi ball appeared.
"You never let me have any fun," Ranma grumbled.
"It's always fun until someone gets hit with a stray chi ball."
Ranma smiled nervously. "Yeah... Ryoga never did have much
control."
"What was that?!" Ryoga shouted.
Akari patted her husband's hand to settle him down. "Calm down,
honey."
Once the party settled down again, Nabiki cleared her throat and
looked at Ayami. "May I?"
Ayami nodded. "Go for it, Auntie!"
Akane looked between her daughter and sister and wondered what they
were scheming.
Nabiki took Mousse's hand and then at her friends and family. "I
have an announcement, which Ayami has so thoughtfully allowed me to make
on her special day." She looked at Mousse and smiled. "Mousse and I are
going to get married."
Ranma rolled his eyes. "Yeah.. yeah... we know."
Ranko nodded. "You keep saying that all the time. It's really not a
big deal anymore."
Nabiki continued. "A week from Sunday."
Ranma and Ranko's jaws dropped open.
Akane smiled and slid over to Nabiki. "It's about time," she said
as she hugged her sister.
Kasumi was the next in the hugging line after giving Shiruko to
Tofu to hold. "Congratulations. When is the baby due?"
Nabiki smirked. "Maybe about nine months."
Hearing this, Soun was having difficulty deciding what to do. He
was losing his last daughter to marriage, but had already come to terms
with that eventuality years earlier when Kasumi and Akane got married.
<I'm surprised it took them this long, actually>. Like Kasumi, his first
reaction was that she had gotten herself pregnant, but 'nine months'
meant she wasn't currently pregnant and was just planning on having kids
after they got married. <Well, my girls would never do something like
that without being married.> Apparently, he was still ignoring the
timing of Yohachi's birth mere seconds after Ranma and Akane were
married in the Monolith by Ukyo..
Soun suddenly realized everyone was staring at him. "What is it?"
Nabiki slid over and put he hand to her father's forehead. "Are you
okay, Daddy?"
"Yes, I'm fine." Soun pulled Nabiki into a hug. "Congratulations."
He looked at Mousse. "You take good care of my daughter, you hear?"
Mousse nodded. "Yes, Father."
Nabiki pulled away and smiled. "Thank you, Daddy."
Hinako looked at Soun, concerned. "I want to have a baby!"
Soun fainted.
Little Hinako smiled. "Yaaaaaay! For a second there, I thought he
was having a stroke or something when he took the news so calmly." She
started to jump around like the child she looked like.
More congratulations were spread around until Ayami suddenly
decided she wasn't getting enough attention, despite saying it was okay
for Nabiki to tell everyone her news at the party. "Time for my
presents!"
Akane smiled. "Ayami, it's not polite to ask for them like that.
Bossy girls don't get presents."
"Oh... sorry..."
Akane kissed her daughter's forehead. "That's okay."
"So can I get my presents now, PLEASE?"
Akane sighed. <Well, that's a little better.>
-A- -M- -D-
After the party ended, Ukyo pulled a baby off her left nipple.
"Next!"
Nabiki took the baby from Ukyo, burped her, and put her into one of
the many cribs in the room. Then she picked up another baby and handed
it to Ukyo, who immediately positioned the small girl next to her left
nipple.
The baby on her right nipple pulled away and started fidgeting.
"Seto is done too."
Nabiki nodded and took the baby, exchanging him for a girl. "You
guys do this every day?"
"Several times a day, actually."
"Hmmmm... maybe I should wait a bit longer." Nabiki glanced at the
stain on her shoulder where one of the babies had spit up earlier.
Ukyo shook her head. "The joy of motherhood more than makes up for
the occasional mess." The baby girl on her left nipple chose that moment
to throw up on her skirt. Ukyo grabbed a towel and cleaned her daughter
and lap up. "Well... most of the time, it does."
Nabiki laughed.
Akane and Ranko rushed in, undoing their shirts.
"Sorry we're late," Akane said. "The dojo was a mess after the
party."
Ukyo looked up from her two daughters. "That's okay, we're just
finishing."
"Oh..."
Ukyo noticed the disappointed tone in Akane and Ranko's voices.
"Don't worry, it won't be long until they're hungry again."
Right on cue, the first baby in the bow of cribs started to cry.
Nabiki walked down to the end of the row of cribs and checked the
crying baby. She looked up at Ranko. "Would you like to do the honors?"
Ranko nodded as she stepped forward and took the baby.
"He's not hungry."
The smell reached Ranko's nose just as the words left Nabiki's
mouth. "Ewww..." She saw Nabiki disappear out the door. "Nabiki!"
Akane chuckled. "Where are the other kids?"
Ukyo looked up from her babies. "They're playing with Ryoga."
Yohachi's cry was heard from outside. "Here piggy!!"
"I'd better make sure they aren't hurting him." Akane turned to
leave, but Ukyo's next comment stopped her.
"I'm sure Ryoga can handle a few little kids, he's pretty rugged."
"Well..."
-A- -M- -D-
Ryoga squealed loudly as Daiji tackled him near the dojo.
"No fair, I almost had him!" Yohachi complained as he jumped onto
Daiji, who was on top of the pig, of course.
Ayami hopped onto the pile next, followed by Tonkatsu, Subuta, and
Moyashi.
Ryoga squealed louder.
Soun looked down from the dojo's roof where he was repairing the
hole. "Play nice, kids." He turned back to the roof. <I should have made
the roof out of thicker metal.> Using a large mallet he had borrowed
from Akane, he started to pound the sheet metal back into the shape it
was in before Ryoga and his family had crashed through it.
Ayami looked up from the pile. "Okay, Grandpa!"
"He's getting away!!" Yohachi cried out as he saw a black blur
shoot away.
Daiji and Yohachi shrugged off the other kids and took off after
their quarry. Some of the other neighborhood kids who were at the party
followed.
Tonkatsu and Subuta were right on their heels, but suddenly
screeched to a halt and looked around the yard.
Ayami bumped into Subuta. "What's wrong?"
Tonkatsu looked at his sister. "That not Daddy."
Subuta shook her head and scanned the yard. "Behind bush!!"
As his children spotted him, Ryoga squealed and shot out of his
hiding spot. <So much for Sanma's master plan to keep the kids
entertained.> Then a thought occurred to his paranoid little pig brain
as he fled the area. <Sanma wouldn't set me up, would he?>
Ayami started to follow Ryoga's kids, but stopped when she heard
a sob from behind her. "What's wrong?"
Moyashi rubbed his tear filled eyes. "I hurt my leg." He indicated
his knee, which had a long scrape on it.
Ayami looked at his knee. "It's just a scratch."
"It hurts!!"
"You're a boy, aren't you?"
"Yeah..." Moyashi sniffled.
"Well, boys shouldn't cry." Ayami repeated something she'd heard
her dad and Papa-chan say many times to Yohachi and sometimes Daiji.
"But my knee."
Ayami sighed and bent over the boy. "It's just a scratch..."
"But it hurts!"
Ayami turned around and crouched down. "Come on..."
Moyashi sniffled and hopped on the small girl's back. "You sure you
can hold me?"
"Yeah..." Ayami stood up and walked slowly towards the house with
him on her back.
-A- -M- -D-
In the kitchen, Ayami sat on the counter next to Moyashi and looked
on as Kasumi put a big bandage on her son's knee.
"There, all better." Kasumi kissed Moyashi's forehead and turned to
return the bandage box to the Tendo's first aid room, which originally
was half of the pantry. Although the number of injuries had decreased
since Kenage and his parents had gone on their training trip, accidents
did still happen in the Tendo household. Frequently.
"See, I told you it wasn't a big deal!" Ayami chirped, smiling.
Moyashi smiled and wrapped his arms around Ayami. "Thank you!"
"Get off!" Ayami spat and pushed Moyashi away from her.
Unfortunately, that caused him to slip from the counter and crash to the
floor.
Kasumi looked around and gasped. "Moyashi, what happened?"
"Ayami pushed me!" Moyashi blurted between sobs.
Kasumi crouched over her son and checked him out. "There, there."
She looked at Ayami. "You shouldn't push other people, Ayami."
"He attacked me first!"
"I just hugged her!"
Kasumi chuckled. "You'll be okay, Moyashi." She stood up and looked
at Ayami. "He was just thanking you."
"I'm sorry..." Ayami looked down at the ground.
Kasumi helped her niece off the counter. "Hug and make up."
Ayami tool a tentative step towards Moyashi and then held out her
hands. "Sorry..."
"S' okay..." Moyashi wrapped his arms around Ayami and squeezed.
Kasumi smiled. Her smile vanished after the hug continued, causing
Ayami to turn blue. "Moyashi!"
"She started it!"
Ayami pushed Moyashi away from her. "Jerk!" Her foot impacted his
stomach a second later.
***********************************************************************
>From the Journal of James Davidson
May 26, 2058
"She always was a violent tomboy."
Ayami--who I had been talking to since I found her in the viewing
room when I arrived to visit Akane this morning--looked to the door and
saw Moyashi standing there. She smirked. "Better a tomboy than a sissy."
Moyashi smiled. "Whatever you say, sir."
Ayami jumped at Moyashi and traded a half dozen kicks and punches
with him, all of which he deflected with ease. The skirmish ended when
Ayami got Moyashi into a big bear hug.
"Heard you were back in the Compound." Moyashi grunted under the
force of the hug. "Sorry I haven't been able to track you down, but I've
been kind of busy..." He glanced towards Akane.
Ayami released hr cousin and nodded her understanding, looking
through the glass at her mother. "Thanks for saving my mother." She
smiled. "Again." She tilted her head. "As usual, I'll treat you to
dinner."
"Homemade?"
"Yeah..."
Moyashi smiled. "You know, you could occasionally make me dinner
without me having to save your mother's life."
Ayami smiled broadly. "I just want to make sure you're motivated."
Moyashi chuckled. "When did this tradition get started anyway?"
"You forgot?" Ayami harrumphed.
"We were pretty young."
***********************************************************************
September 3-4, 2005 - Nerima, Japan
Kasumi looked between her oldest, Ayami, and Ranko. "Are you sure
he won't get hurt?"
Ranko shook her head. "I'll start him slow and make sure Ayami
doesn't get too..." She searched for the right word. "Enthusiastic...
during their training."
"Okay." Kasumi replied, still sounding concerned. She knelt down in
front of Moyashi. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
Moyashi nodded.
"Well, just remember that it's only okay to spar with Ayami during
your training sessions, you shouldn't hit girls otherwise. Okay?"
Moyashi smiled. "Okay, Mommy!"
Kasumi smiled and ruffled her son's hair and slowly left the dojo,
passing Akane who stood in the doorway.
"Not going to stay?" Akane asked as she turned and started walking
beside Kasumi.
"No... I'm worried enough as it is, I don't think I could stand to
watch my baby get hit."
"Yeah... I know the feeling."
Kasumi looked at her youngest sister. "Then why do you let your
kids train so much?"
Akane smiled. "Well in addition to it being our families' heritage,
it helps them work off some of their excess energy." She looked away, as
if recalling fond memories. "Back before Ranma and Ranko started to
train them, Daiji and Yohachi fought constantly and caused a lot of
ruckus. Now..."
Her explanation was cut off when her two oldest ran through the
back yard chasing a pig.
"Come back!!" Yohachi shouted.
His sister jumped over her brother and almost tackled the pig.
Instead she ended up tripping Yohachi.
"Get off me!" Daiji spat, pushing her brother.
"It's your fault!"
"He's getting away!" Daiji shouted.
Kasumi watched the two kids get to their feet and disappeared around
the side of the dojo in pursuit of their quarry. "Poor Ryoga."
Akane smiled. "That's one of P-chan's babies. Q-chan, I think."
Kasumi looked at Akane. "What was that about them burning off their
excess energy?"
Akane laughed. "I said SOME of their excess energy. They were much
worse before."
"I bet you thought things would calm down when Mr. and Mrs. Saotome
took Kenage on the road."
"No, calm is not part of my life. We just have less property damage
now."
A crash was heard in the direction that the kids had chased the
pig.
"I said 'less'."
Kasumi laughed politely. "Have you heard from them since they went
to Singapore?"
"Not yet, but there was a news report of them being fished out of
the Japan Sea when someone opened the wrong porthole on the ship."
Kasumi nodded, as if it didn't surprise her. Considering that they
had been tracking the journey of the two parents and their child
through news reports of disasters and accidents, they were only
surprised when more than two weeks went by without report of some kind
of major property damage. "Well, I'm sure we'll be hearing from them
soon."
"Yeah, they'll need money to get out of trouble again sooner than
later."
Just then, a familiar cry rang out from the dojo. Kasumi took a
step back towards it, but Akane restrained her.
"Moyashi will be alright."
Kasumi nodded, but wasn't convinced.
-A- -M- -D-
Moyashi lay facedown on the dojo floor, his tears pooling on the
wooden floor.
Ayami stood over him, a frown on his face. "I'm sorry."
"It hurts!"
"Don't cry. Do you want some of my ice cream?" Ayami held out the
ice cream cone she was holding.
Moyashi sniffed and looked at Ayami. "Really?"
Ayami nodded. "Yeah... we can share."
Moyashi smiled and got up off the floor, forgetting the kick from
Ayami that had sent him there. "Thanks!"
Ranko looked at his two smiling students, a little worried. <That's
not how the Anything Goes Ice Cream Attack is supposed to work, but I
guess it's okay.>
-A- -M- -D-
"Well, what do you think?" Nabiki asked in the room Ukyo and her
family were staying in. She put an odd looking keyboard down on the
floor and then ran the cable into a small laptop and hit the power
button.
Ukyo looked at the keyboard, which was an off-the-shelf ergonomic
keyboard that had been cut into four pieces to rearrange the keys, that
had been relabeled with 'White Out' and magic markers. Instead of the
normal Japanese layout, the keys were labeled with a mixture of odd
symbols. They were also upside down from the normal orientation of the
keyboard. This would allow the operator to type from the former 'top' of
the keyboard where the curve allowed easy access to more keys for a
smaller typist.
Ukyo looked up after examining the keyboard. "How does it work?"
"Pretty much like a normal keyboard, but the symbols have been
designed to be quickly recognizable to an animal's eyes," Nabiki
explained. "The laptop translates the keystrokes into Japanese and
displays them on the screen." She pointed at a small square LCD display
that was positioned on the 'top' of the keyboard so someone opposite the
operator could read it. The panel was held in placed by several strips
of duct tape, making the whole setup look very primitive, which it was.
"It'll take a bit of time to teach Sanma the symbols, but..." She paused
to consider if she should reveal the designer's name or not. <It's not
important.> "My classmate says it's a very simple layout and vocabulary.
He's doing his computer science thesis on keyboard input methods, so
this project is right up his alley."
"Well, thank him for us."
"I will, but he owed me a favor anyway so he wasn't exactly doing
it for free."
"We'll repay you someday."
Nabiki shook her head. "Don't worry about it. Call it a late
wedding present."
<Ah ha! She's hinting about her own wedding present. I'll have to
talk to Sanma about that later.> Ukyo smiled when she realized that she
could really do that now. "Thanks. Since Sanma can't write in many of
his forms, it'll be nice to be able to talk to him again."
Nabiki smiled. "Well, to tell you the truth, it was Mousse's idea.
I guess he knows how it feels to be stuck in a animal's body without
being able to communicate and wanted to find a way to help."
"Thank him for me as well then." Ukyo looked around. "Where is he
anyway?"
"The guys are giving him a bachelor party."
Ukyo smirked. "Do you think they got him a stripper?"
Nabiki struck a pose. "Ha!! He doesn't need another woman as long
as he has me!"
-A- -M- -D-
At the bar the guys had picked to have the bachelor party, Mousse's
eyes suddenly went wide when the stripper stepped out of a lace teddie.
"Ack!!" he gasped as she started to gyrate in front of his bloodshot
eyes.
Ranko slapped Mousse on the back. "Go for it! This is your last
chance!"
"Are you crazy?!" Mousse replied without removing his eyes from the
stripper.
Ranma laughed. "Ha! I knew he'd love her!"
Ryoga shrugged. "What's the big deal?" He looked at Sanma, who was
sitting on the table and munching on some truffles. "You don't get
turned on by other animals, do you?"
Sanma shook his little pig head and looked at the female duck that
was still dancing on the stage--well, it was just another table the guys
were calling a stage--in front of the mesmerized Mousse, who was swaying
in time with the duck's gyrations.
Ranko waved his hand in front of Mousse's eyes. "I think he's
drunk."
"Nabiki... your feathers are so... sexy." Mousse's head crashed to
the table, sending a pitcher of beer crashing to the floor.
"Yup, really drunk."
Ryoga looked at Ranma. "Where the hell did you get a duck that
could strip anyway?"
Ranma laughed. "She's from a little carnival that came through town
recently." He smirked at Ryoga. "They had a pig stripper too, if you're
interested."
"Why the hell would I need a pig when I have my sweet Akari?!"
"To satisfy your animal urges, of course."
Ranma was quickly sent crashing across the bar by a well-placed
kick from an irritated pig.
Ryoga smiled at Sanma. "Nice form there. I guess you realize now
how much worse an animal curse is than a human curse, right?"
Sanma squealed his agreement.
"You jerk!!" Ranma called out as he punted the pig into Ryoga's
stomach, who in turn crashed against the bar and was covered in beer.
Cold beer.
Ryoga shook the beer off his snout and snarled at Ranma. Before he
could attack, he found himself lifted into the air on the back of a
large animal. He squealed loudly when he looked down and saw what Sanma
had transformed into.
Mousse looked over at the bar and blinked a few times. "Okay, no
more beer for me..." He crashed to the floor, muttering something about
pink elephants.
The other patrons of the bar screamed in terror as the pink
elephant seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Many of them quickly swore
to give up drinking. The rest ordered another drink and made it a
double.
"A pig riding a pink elephant... yup, time to quit for sure this
time. It was bad enough when I kept seeing that panda come in here, but
this..." a groggy, fat man remarked and then held out a basket towards
the elephant. "Peanut?"
Ranma and Ranko exchanged an amazed look before looking back at
their brother.
"Um... Sanma, you're an elephant," Ranma remarked.
Sanma waved his trunk in front of his eyes. <No shit, Sherlock.
But... how can I be pink?>
Ranko walked over to the elephant. "Wow..." <I'm glad now that the
spring didn't work on me.> She fingered the fine hairs on the elephant's
skin. "Ah!! The pink color is due to these fine red hairs, your skin is
actually gray."
The elephant rolled his eyes. <Oh, that's a big relief.> The floor
suddenly creaked under him. <Uh oh...>
-A- -M- -D-
Nabiki, Akane, Kasumi, Akari, and Ukyo were sitting on the porch
with the babies and watching the other kids play in the garden. Suddenly
the earth shook, causing the water to ripple in the koi pond.
"What the..." Akane gasped
Kasumi looked around. "Earthquake?"
The ground shook again.
Nabiki frowned. "I don't think so."
"Then wha..." Ukyo started to ask, before one of the kids cried
out.
"An elephant!!" Daiji shouted and ran towards the pink elephant,
who was carrying a black pig, a passed out duck, and Akane's husbands on
its back.
Akane took one look at her husbands on the elephant and broke out
laughing. "Where on earth did you get the elephant?"
"My, what a big trunk he has," Kasumi remarked.
Nabiki grinned mischievously and looked under the elephant. "That's
not all that's big."
"Sanma!!" Ukyo shouted. She quickly put Seto into a bassinet and
ran toward her husband.
Ranko frowned. "How did you know?"
"I'd recognize my husband's pe... err... I'd recognize him
anywhere," Ukyo said, blushing.
Ranma slipped off the back of his brother with the duck in his arms
and took a look. "Yeah, it does look the same."
Akane chuckled. "But he's bigger."
Ranma's eye twitched. "I didn't see you complaining last night."
Akane giggled.
Ukyo was stroking the elephant's trunk. "Oh my... well, this is a
new one."
Sanma wrapped his trunk around Ukyo and squeezed his wife
reassuringly.
"Well, so much for that special keyboard I had made for you,"
Nabiki commented looking at the huge hooves of the elephant. She sighed
and retrieved her future husband from Ranma. "Looks like you boys had a
good time."
Ranma smiled nervously. "Yeah, but we're not welcome at that bar
anymore."
Nabiki laughed. "You mean it's still in one piece?"
"Mostly, but we should have picked a bar on the first floor." Ranma
flicked a piece of floor out of his hair.
***********************************************************************
>From the Journal of James Davidson
May 26, 2058
"An... elephant?" I gasped, trying to keep from laughing.
Ayami nodded. "It was great fun having our very own elephant in the
Compound to play with."
Moyashi smirked. "My mom never let US have pets."
"I am not a pet!!"
We looked over to see Sanma standing in the doorway.
Ayami smiled. "No, but you are cute."
"Handsome."
I looked at the small woman in front of me, trying to picture her
as an elephant. A pink elephant. "What's it like to be an elephant?"
Sanma shrugged her shoulders. "I forget."
"I thought an elephant never forgets?"
"Yeah, but I ain't no elephant." Sanma smirked. "Actually, it's not
that bad. No one ever dares to get in my way, all the free peanuts I can
eat, and I can squash dozens of Buyierfei just by sitting on them." He
signed. "It was hard not sleeping in the room with my wife and our
babies though."
"Too big to get into the house, huh?"
"Yeah. They had to get a tent for me." Sanma sighed. "It wasn't bad
until Ranma and Ranko tried to get me to give rides to the neighborhood
kids."
I smiled. "Did you stomp them good?"
"No, it turned out it was for a good cause."
***********************************************************************
September 12-14, 2005 - Nerima, Japan
Nabiki and Mousse's outdoor wedding was rather uneventful. Well, it
would only be considered uneventful if you compared it to Akane's two
successful weddings and the weddings of Ukyo and Kasumi.
But compared to most weddings, it would seem very peculiar. If the
large pink elephant wearing a bow tie and the large number of big
breasted women in full armor didn't make it unusual enough, the best man
turning into a pig and the groom turning into a duck when a sudden
shower drenched them would make it seem very unusual.
To everyone but a Tendo or Saotome, that is.
The bouquet was caught by Nipplering, mostly because no one would
dare get in the large Amazon's way. The fact that she was in full battle
armor and armed to the teeth kept the other single girls from even
trying to grab the bouquet, even the other Amazons.
They decided to use Tendo for their married names since Amazons
traditionally identify their family lineage by reciting all of their
recent ancestors on their mother's side. And Nabiki decided she'd rather
not try to fit 'Nabiki Tendo-Dandruff-Shampoo-Conditioner-Rinse-Repeat'
onto her business cards. Nabiki was surprised when she found out that
Mousse's grandmother was also named Shampoo, but it turned out it was a
common Amazon name. After she found this out, Nabiki spent a good deal
of time teasing Mousse about his lusting after his grandmother.
After the rather modest reception dinner, Mouse and Nabiki Tendo
left on their honeymoon without even telling anyone where they were
going.
-A- -M- -D-
Mousse and Nabiki ran down the deserted beach, naked as the day
they were born. The waves splashed gently against the shore, but Mousse
was staying as far away from them as he could. Being on a deserted
island meant they were all alone, but it also meant that hot water was
hard to come by.
Mousse grabbed his bride's arm and pulled Nabiki down onto the
sand. A kiss here, a stroke there, and soon they were locked in the
throws of passion.
Then the tide came in.
Nabiki found herself with a duck between her breasts. "Oh my." She
suddenly arched her back. "OHHHH MYYYYYY!!"
Not quite 'From Here to Eternity', but what do you expect from a
Tendo who's married to an Amazon who turns into a duck?
In any case, about nine months later Nabiki gave birth to a
bouncing baby girl, who they named Nijiko.
-A- -M- -D-
Back in Nerima on the day after the wedding, Ukyo tore up the loan
letter and then wrapped her arms around Sanma's trunk. "Well, yet
another bank turns us down."
Sanma couldn't speak, of course, but he tried to comfort his wife
as best he could. He ran the tip of his trunk gently down Ukyo's face.
Ukyo relished the touch, but continued on the subject at hand. "Our
savings are nearly gone and with the babies to take care of, I can only
take the cart out for the lunch and dinner rushes."
Sanma slipped his trunk seductively down her neck and eventually
into her blouse.
Ukyo arched her back when the trunk started to massage her breast.
She looked around the tent Sanma had been staying in since his recent
transformation, wary of being seen. "Sanma... we... shouldn't."
Sanma's big eyes blinked, but kept exploring Ukyo's cleavage with
his trunk.
Ukyo gasped as the trunk moved to her nipple. "Sanma..." Her
initial thought was that he was trying to get her mind off their money
problems--and that might have been the case--but feeling of his touch
reminded her of the last time Sanma had touched her like this. "We
haven't really TOUCHED each other since you were Akane, have we?"
The elephant shook his head.
"Or is it that it's mating season for elephants?"
The elephant let out what could only be considered a chuckle.
"I do miss your touch, Sanma..." Ukyo said as the trunk unbuttoned
her blouse. <He's pretty good with that thing.> A few minutes later the
trunk found its target, causing Ukyo to arch her back again. <Very
good.>
"Sanma! The kids are waiting!!" Ranma's voice called from outside
the tent.
Sanma's head shot up at hearing the shout, dropping Ukyo in the
process.
Ukyo was blushing and breathing heavily as she rebuttoned her
blouse. "Well, you did promise to give them rides and we do need the
money."
The look on the elephant's face could only mean 'why now?'
-A- -M- -D-
Ukyo sat on the porch with Akane and watched her husband walk by
with a dozen screaming neighborhood kids on his back. She couldn't help
but giggle. "I guess when my kids grow up they'll be able to ride their
father like that."
Akane laughed. "The best my husbands can do is horsey rides."
Ukyo laughed and then watched the elephant tromp by again. "I could
probably do without the elephant, but if he can make people happy then
it's not really a curse, is it?"
Akane smiled. "That's a nice way to put it. I'm trying to raise
Daiji to accept her mixed gender, but it's not easy when she has to deal
with other people who won't or can't accept her for who he is."
"Like Ranko?" Ukyo asked, looking over at where Ranko was playing
with Daiji.
"Sort of, but Ranko has learned not to confuse Daiji in regards to
their unique gender issues."
"That's my manly son!!" Ranko called out.
Akane glanced over to see her DAUGHTER put a wreath of flowers on
her father's head. She appended her statement. "Mostly."
Ukyo looked up at the blue sky. "I wonder how my kids will handle
their father's curse?"
Akane shrugged. "Just be honest with them about it."
"Having a father who switches species and genders won't be easy to
explain to their friends."
Akane laughed. "You should have seen Yohachi and Daiji explain the
three of us at the kindergarten's Parents' Day."
Ukyo giggled. "That must have been awkward."
"Not really... despite his faults, Principal Kuno does care for the
kids in his schools."
"I'm a little amazed you'd trust him with your kids."
Akane smiled. "So were we at first, but it's worked out pretty
well."
Ukyo smiled knowingly. "How many of your Amazons do you have
watching them?"
Akane raised an eyebrow. "MY Amazons?"
Ukyo chuckled. "Well, you are their leader." She paused. "So how
many?"
"Well, only two per kid and one for the Principal," Akane admitted.
"Plus the squad watching Tatewaki Kuno, of course."
-A- -M- -D-
Several weeks earlier during the kindergarten's annual Parents'
Day, the Principal gestured to the six member family. "Okay, next keikis
are Yohachi Saotome and Daiji Tendo."
Yohachi looked at Ranma, Akane, and Ranko in turn. "This is my
daddy, my mommy, and Papa-chan."
Ranko smiled nervously.
"And this is our little sister." Yohachi pointed to Ayami, who was
holding onto her mother's leg. "Ayami."
Daiji spoke next, indicating Akane, Ranko, and Ranma in turn. "This
is my daddy, my mommy, and Papa."
It was Akane's turn to smile nervously.
A hand went up.
"Oh, good keiki has question," the Principal said and pointed at
the little boy who had raised his hand. "Go ahead, Junichi."
"How can the pretty woman be a mommy AND a daddy?"
Akane smiled at being called pretty. "Well, it's a very long story.
In the end, all that matters is that we all love our three children."
Another hand went up. "Little Suzuki," the Principal said.
"Do you all change between boys and girls too?" the little girl
asked.
Akane giggled and looked at her two husbands.
Ranma smiled. "Not anymore."
"Nope, but I'm really a man," Ranko remarked.
Some of the kids giggled while other's scratched their heads.
"Now little Daiji and Yohachi have their family picture to show
off." The principal gestured to a large art easel, which had a sheet
covering a large one by two meter poster board on it.
Yohachi reached up and pulled off the sheet and then gestured at
the picture he and Daiji had drawn. First he pointed out the parts he
had drawn, which looked like stick figures for the most part. "This is
Daddy, Mommy, Grandpa, our dog Crybaby, Grandma, and our pigs." He
looked at his sister.
Daiji fidgeted and looked at the mass of kids.
"Come on, Daiji," Yohachi prompted.
Ranko knelt down and put a reassuring hand on her daughter's
shoulder. "Be a brave boy now," she whispered.
Daiji glanced at her mother and nodded. She reached her hand out
towards the parts of the picture she drew, which looked a lot better
than Yohachi's side. "This is... this is my mommy, Uncle Sanma-" She
pointed at a figure that looked like Akane except she was very fat.
"-but now he's a pig instead of looking like my daddy."
The kids all giggled.
Daiji continued. "This is his wife and their six babies." Her arm
moved over to a couple dozen figures dressed in armor. "This is
Nipplering, Deood, Rant, Gstring..."
Various giggles, gasps, and cries to go to the bathroom were heard
as Daiji listed the names of the Amazons that lived in the Compound with
them.
"Who are they?" one boy asked between his attempts to dig something
unmentionable out of his nose.
Akane, Ranma, and Ranko looked nervously at each other.
Daiji blurted her answer. "They're our friends!!"
Akane smiled and ran her hand through her daughter's red hair.
"Yes, they are."
-A- -M- -D-
A couple days after Nabiki and Mousse's wedding, an unusual request
was made.
"And since Ukyo and Sanma proved it could be done, we were
wondering if you could provide the sperm."
Ranma blinked loudly before backpedaling away. "What?!"
"It's such a little thing, we hope you can help us."
"This... this... um... I don't think I'm comfortable with this."
"You have already proven you are a worthy man by impregnating your
wife twice."
Ranma looked between the two women and wondered what they'd do to
him if he turned down their request. "Look, I like you both, but..."
"It is a very honorable tradition for a Amazon man to share his
seed with other Amazons for artificial insemination," Deood remarked,
squeezing her wife's hand.
"Well..." Ranma hesitated, thinking that must be a rather new
tradition for the Amazons. Then he got an image of Rant and Deood using
turkey basters in some ancient Amazon insemination ceremony. He
shuddered.
Rant smiled and tried to remember what the 'Amazon Book of Bending
a Man to Your Will' said worked best in this situation. "We also
consider you the greatest male warrior the Amazon tribe has ever known."
She bent forward and showed some cleavage.
Deood cleared her throat and casually pulled Rant back, trying to
get her wife to remember that Amazon women do not show cleavage to
married men. Unless they are trying to steal them for themselves, of
course.
"Look... I appreciate you asking, but I don't think I'd feel
comfortable doing that." Ranma smiled nervously. "I don't think my wife
would be thrilled either."
"Ah..." Deood nodded her understanding. "The leader keeps her
spermbank on a short leash, we understand."
"What?!" Ranma snapped and stood up straight. "HEY! Nobody tells
Ranma Saotome what to do with his sperm!!"
Rant smiled. "They you'll help us have a baby?!"
"There ain't nothin' Ranma Sao... err..." Ranma faltered as he
realized what he was saying. "Um... well... what I mean is... I don't
think I can." He went into his suave, comforting mode. "I know I'm the
greatest martial artist out there and you Amazons must be desperate to
have children by such a worthy man, but I can't." He flipped his pigtail
off his shoulder and smiled charmingly. "I'm sorry."
Deood and Rant looked sadly at each other and sighed.
Deood looked back at Ranma and spoke casually. "Well, thank you for
your time." She looked at Rant. "Guess we'll have to go to the next name
on our list."
Rant nodded and got up with her wife and walked away, leaving a
slightly perturbed Ranma behind them.
-A- -M- -D-
That night, Ranma lay on a large futon next to Akane, opposite from
Ranko. "And so I had to turn down their request. I know they wanted a
great warrior to be the father, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable
doing that for them."
Akane stared at the ceiling. "Well, that's interesting."
"And I knew you wouldn't feel right about it."
Akane smiled. "Actually, they came to me first and asked, but I
told them it was up to you."
"Huh?"
"Amazon women do not ask other Amazons' husbands for their sperm
without first asking the spermbank's wife."
Ranko started to giggle.
"I'd stop giggling if I was you, Ranko," Ranma growled, causing
Ranko to stop. He looked at Akane. "I'm amazed you didn't turn them down
outright."
"I was going to, but then I thought about Sanma and Ukyo." Akane
reached over and ran her hand through Ranma's hair. "What if they had
asked us the same thing?"
Ranma thought about that for a few moments. "Yeah... but that's a
little different since Sanma and I are a little closer than me and the
Amazons."
"True."
Several silent moments passed until Ranko spoke. "What about me?"
Ranma looked at his sister and co-husband of his wife. "Huh?"
Ranko didn't look away from the ceiling when she replied. "I
think... I think I want to have another baby." She glanced at Ranma as
she finished her statement.
The entire Tendo household was awakened by two screams. Those
belonged to Ranma and Akane.
-A- -M- -D-
"So what was all that commotion about last night?" Ukyo asked as
she rode with Akane, Ranko, and Ranma on top of her husband. The sight
of the four of them on the pink elephant walking down the Nerima streets
caused a lot of passing people to stop and stare. Tourists mostly, since
the people who lived in Nerima didn't think it was that unusual.
Akane chuckled. "Ranko want's Ranma to father another child with
her."
The elephant trumpeted and stopped suddenly, almost throwing his
charges off.
Ukyo held onto the blanket that was tied around her husband's body.
"What?!"
Akane laughed. "Well, I'd be the egg donor, of course, but Ranma
doesn't like the idea."
Ranma--who was sitting behind Akane--nodded and crossed his arms.
"Damn right. That's not a very manly way to get my sister pregnant."
Ukyo almost choked on her tongue and made eye contact with Sanma.
She smirked. "Sanma said pretty much the same thing when we were trying
to get him pregnant."
"Yeah, well... this is different. I'm all man!" Ranma thumped his
chest.
Almost immediately, Sanma thumped the same spot on Ranma's chest
with his trunk. He let out a mighty trumpet of victory as Ranma crashed
to the ground.
Akane shook her head sadly.
Ukyo chuckled and looked at Akane and Ranko. "So, if you can get
the sperm from Ranma, are you going to?"
Ranko blushed and shrugged her shoulders. "We're still thinking
about it, but I have thought about what it would be like to have another
child. What about you two?"
Both Ukyo and the elephant went pale.
Ranko's eyes went wide. "Oh... sorry... didn't mean to bring up a
touchy subject."
Ukyo shook her head. "No... no... it's not." She took a deep
breath. "Considering the expense and everything we went though the first
time, we think six is enough."
The elephant trumpeted his agreement.
"Plus, even staying with you, I can't pull in enough with the cart
to do more than make ends meet."
Akane smirked at the perfect timing of Ukyo's statement. "Take a
look down the street on your left."
"Huh?" Ukyo turned her head and saw a large banner strung between
two light piles. "What the... what does this mean?" she asked, reading
the banner again. It read 'Future home of the new Ucchan's!'
Ranko smiled. "Nothing personal, but we're kicking you out of our
home."
Ukyo's eyes widened. "Wha...."
The elephant was similarly confused, but continued carrying them
towards the lot the banner was hung over. The same lot that where the
old Ucchan's used to stand and that now held the shrine for their lost
children.
Akane tried to explain. "That's why we suggested this little outing
today. We all got together and scraped up some money for a down payment
so you can rebuild Ucchan's."
"But..."
"I didn't want you going back to work at a sleazy soapland again."
Ukyo blushed. "You knew about that?"
Akane nodded. "Um... did you..." She blushed as well. "You know."
"No!!" Ukyo snapped. "Um.. I just advertised the place outside."
She patted her husband's back. "Sanma hated me doing that much." Inside,
Ukyo knew that a part of her also liked being able to show off her body
in the bunny suit. Since it covered her scars, it made her feel good to
be seen as a whole woman. Well, until the men started drooling and
pawing at her, at which point she had to resist the urge to flatten
their head with a oversized cooking utensil.
Akane looked back at the lot where the new Ucchan's would go.
"Anyway... Nabiki setup the loan and all the paperwork before she left
on their honeymoon. Once you decide on the plans, we can break ground."
Ukyo was in tears by the time the elephant stopped in front of the
banner. "This is... this is unbelievable."
The elephant helped his wife off his back and then looked at Akane
and Ranko and made some odd noises.
Akane smiled nervously. "Well, I hope you like it. We were a little
afraid you might not want to stay in Nerima."
Ukyo shook her head. "No... when we first returned for the martial
arts contest we were concerned about how things would be between us, but
you all have been so great to us." She wiped her eyes. "We never
imagined you could forgive us for what we did to you and then to do
this." She gestured towards the banner.
Akane and Ranko slid down Sanma's side, carrying a picnic basket
with them.
"Thanks for nothing, you jerk," Ranma spat as he hobbled up to the
odd group.
Sanma patted Ranma's shoulder with his trunk to apologize.
"Sure, NOW you're nice."
Akane laughed. "Let's have our lunch and talk about the new
Ucchan's, okay?"
Ukyo nodded.
-A- -M- -D-
Ukyo took a sip of her juice. Pushing another bucket of peanuts
over to her husband, she continued the conversation. "That... that's too
much. When you said a down payment I thought ten or twenty percent."
Akane shrugged. "What can I say? You've got a lot of friends
drooling over the chance to once again eat your okonomiyaki at
Ucchan's."
Ukyo suddenly got up and started pacing the small lot. "I don't
know if we can accept this..."
Akane and the others alternately watched Ukyo and ate their
lunches, knowing that she had to make the decision herself. Even Sanma
knew it had to be Ukyo's choice. Ucchan's was her baby and he had spent
much of the last five years with her talking about how to rebuild it
someday.
After tracing the lot's edge several times, Ukyo spoke. "It's too
small. The small size of the old restaurant was never a problem for me,
but for two adults and six kids?" She shook her head. "It'll never work,
we'll have to wait."
Ranma smiled. "Don't forget your huge assed husband." He started to
laugh.
The laughed stopped when Sanma sat down on top of Ranma. Well,
Ranma's laughter stopped; the others started to laugh at the sight of
Ranma wedged into Sanma's butt crack.
Akane shook her head. "They'll never learn."
Ranko took exception to that. "THEY? Ranma's the one who always
does these stupid things."
Akane looked at her first husband and said three words. "The
spaghetti incident."
Ranko gulped and edged away from Akane.
Ukyo started to ask about what the 'spaghetti incident' was, but
then thought better of it. So she started pacing the outline of the lot
again. "As I said, it's too small for us."
Akane smiled knowingly. "Hey, Ukyo?"
"Yeah?"
"See those red sticks?"
Ukyo looked around and say the red sticks that were stuck into the
ground outside the area she had been pacing. "Yeah..."
"Your lot is about twice as big as it used to be since they
realigned the roads," Akane explained. "Those red markers are the
property line now."
The jaws of Ukyo and the elephant dropped. "But... but..." Ukyo
stammered.
"Nabiki checked to make sure. Since you retained the lot for the
shrine while others sold out entirely to the government, you own the
expanded lot in full." Akane spread her arms wide.
"Wow..." Ukyo gasped spinning around.
The elephant gasped as well.
Ranma gasped for air under the elephant's butt.
Ukyo looked at her husband and former fiance. "Sanma, you'd better
get up."
Sanma stood up and tromped over to his wife.
Ranma got shakily to his feet. "Stupid pachyderm."
Ukyo stroked her husband's trunk and looked between the others.
"I'm sorry... I appreciate the thought and all, but we can't accept such
a large gift..."
Ranko gulped down the bite of sandwich she had been chewing. "Well,
a large chunk of it was the prize money from that martial arts
tournament, so it's not really putting us out at all."
Ukyo gasped as she remembered the tournament and her sole reason
for entering it: the prize money. With Sanma pregnant she had done her
best to win it, only to come up short in the final match against Ranko.
"No... you won that tournament. I can't take that money."
Ranko smiled. "The win is enough for me. That money is better spent
on Ucchan's."
Ukyo felt her feelings pulled in more directions than she thought
possible. One, she wanted her restaurant back. Two, she knew that she
didn't win the tournament and didn't earn that prize money. Three, her
father once told her that she should never accept charity--which was one
of the reasons that she ended up engaged to Ranma since he was repayment
for all the okonomiyaki that he and his father stole. Four, she bought
the original Ucchan's with money left to her by her late father and ran
it with her own two hands--something she had taken much pride in. Five,
she didn't want to leave Nerima.
She decided there was only one way she would feel comfortable
taking that money from them. "We can't accept the money as a gift."
Akane and the others frowned, including Sanma.
"But if it was the prize in a challenge match..."
Ranko and Akane exchanged a look and then Ranko spoke. "You're on."
She grinned.
"You have to fight your best though," Ukyo insisted.
"I never throw a fight." Ranko puffed out her chest and cracked her
knuckles. "For any reason."
-A- -M- -D-
A week later, the entire Tendo, Saotome, and Ono families--along
with the entire Nerima Amazon contingent--were assembled in the
Compound's large front yard for the fight of the... well, the biggest
fight in Nerima in almost two weeks. It was the slow part of the year,
after all.
Ranko walked up to the center of the yard, where Akane and Ranma
waited with Ukyo and her huge husband. Ranko was dressed in a simple gi,
had her red pigtail tied tight, and wore a serious look of her face.
Nearby, Daiji and Yohachi cheered as she appeared, while Ayami was
picking flowers with Moyashi. Ranko looked at Ayami and cleared her
throat.
Ayami looked up from the flowers. "Oh..." She jumped up and shouted
at the top of her tiny lungs. "Go get em, Papa-chan!!" Then she sat down
and continued playing with Moyashi.
Ukyo smiled. "Ready?
Ranko nodded.
Akane looked at Nipplering as she walked over in full battle armor.
"I've asked Nipplering to be the referee."
Nipplering looked between the two groups. "Okay, this is a one on
one fight. Anything goes except causing harm to the spectators or
causing property damage. If there is any interference from spectators, I
will stop the fight and access whatever penalties I see fit. First
person to hurt a spectator or damage a structure will automatically lose
the match."
Ranko frowned, trying to remember the last fight she had when
something didn't get damaged. "That kind of limits what I can do."
Nipplering glared at Ranko. "Those are my rules!"
Ranko cowed back from the tall Amazon's glare. "Ok... ok..."
Nipplering looked around the area. "Okay, then let us begin.
Seconds leave the area and contestants step forward."
Ranko gave her wife a kiss and then stepped forward as Ranma and
Akane went and sat near their kids.
Ukyo kissed Sanma's trunk and then--to the surprise of almost
everyone--walked away towards where her babies were being looked after
by Deeod and Rant, since they wanted some practice.
"Ewwww..." Deood said as she explored the joys of parenthood.
Diaper changes, in this case.
Ranko frowned. "Where are you going?" she asked Ukyo.
Ukyo looked back at Ranko and smiled wickedly. "I'm not fighting."
"Then... who..." Ranko turned her head and focused on the large
elephant, who was smirking. "Uh oh..."
Ukyo smiled. "I never said *I* was going to fight you."
The elephant took a step forward, causing the earth to shake.
"Oh, shit!"
"Papa-chan swore!" Yohachi blurted, giggling.
"Shit... shit... shit..." Daiji repeated until Akane covered her
mouth.
"Daiji, that's not a proper word to use," Akane scolded.
Daiji frowned as Akane removed her hand. "Sorry."
Ayami looked on intently. <I wonder what shit means?>
-A- -M- -D-
Ranko's eyes widened as she saw the huge pink elephant charge at
her. She was also shaking in her shoes, but that was caused by the
tremors caused by the elephant's charge. At least that's her story.
"Don't let him sit on you, Ranko!!" Ranma called out with a shaky
voice caused by the tremors. He was sitting with Akane and their three
kids. All of them were clutching each other to steady themselves from
the tremors caused by the elephant.
"Oh, thanks for the brilliant suggestion, Ranma," Ranko snapped.
She leapt into the air to avoid the elephant's charge, but misjudged how
high Sanma could reach and found her leg snagged by the elephant's
trunk. Accompanied by a rush of wind, she found herself slammed face
first into the ground.
Akane cringed at the savage pounding her husband had just taken.
Dazed, but not beaten, Ranko rolled to the side before the elephant
could sit on her. She sprung to the top of the roof of one of the houses
the Amazons lived in. She took a deep breath and then raced to the other
side of the roof, knowing that Sanma couldn't follow her up here.
But he could throw things. Ranko screeched to a halt, just barely
avoiding a volley of throwing spatulas that the elephant had thrown with
his trunk. Ranko did a back flip to avoid the dozen or so follow-up
spatulas that Sanma had pulled from under the blanket that was tied over
his back and then did an impressive leap off the end of the roof. The
impressive part of her leap ended when she kicked the side of the
elephant with no effect. "Oh... shit."
Sanma turned his head and looked at Ranko as the little redhead
threw punch after punch into his side. <This hurts like hell, but damned
if I'm going to let Ranko know it.> He rolled to the side trying to pin
Ranko under his bulky body. Although Sanma's elephant body was large and
powerful, fast it was not. So Ranko was easily able to get out of the
way in time.
Ranko grinned as her speed propelled her safely out of the
elephant's range. <Got to keep moving.>
And move she did. For the next ten minutes Ranko and Sanma circled
each other. Ranko got in the occasional hit, hoping that they were
having some effect on the large animal. Sanma was trying to tire Ranko
out by keeping her sister off the roofs with her carefully thrown
spatulas.
The audience was following the match with keen interest, knowing
that the two fighters were evenly matched.
When human at least.
None of them really knew what the elephant was capable of.
Including the elephant, since he had never fought as an elephant
until that moment. He had had some practice sessions with his wife in
preparation for the match, but not enough to really get used to the
feeling of moving a ton of flesh with each movement of his body.
Ranko kept up her 'hit and run before my brother the elephant can
sit on me' attacks until she noticed a bruise on the side of the
elephant. <Ah! He IS getting hurt by my attacks; he's just not letting
it show.> Ranko smiled and decided on a plan of attack.
Seconds later she crashed against the side of the one of the large
rocks surrounding the koi pond. A pained grunt erupted from her mouth as
she slid to the ground. <Plan B then.> She sprang to the side as Sanma's
huge hoof descended on her location. As she dodged the elephant's
hooves, Ranko desperately tried to think up 'plan B'.
-A- -M- -D-
Plan B ended up breaking Ranko's right arm.
Ranko clutched her broken arm with the other and dodged the latest
volley of spatulas. <I'd better come up with a plan C.>
Akane was squeezing Ranma's hand so tightly that he was in more
pain than Ranko. "We've... we've got to stop the fight."
Ranma shook his head and pried his hand from Akane's viselike grip.
"No, Ranko'd never forgive us if we did that." He shook his hand. "I'm
sure it's just sprained."
Akane frowned as she looked at how Ranko held her arm. "I'm not so
sure."
Ranma chose not to mention that he meant HIS hand and not Ranko's
arm. <No doubt about Ranko's arm, he must be in incredible pain."
Ranko crashed to the ground and screamed bloody murder. <Plan D had
better work...>
Sanma took a running leap and came down with all four hooves
pointed at Ranko. Unfortunately, that leap took him fifteen seconds to
pull off and Ranko was well out of the way when Sanma landed from his
half-meter high leap. The elephant looked towards where Ranko had
escaped to and saw the huge chi ball a second before it hit his head. He
let out a mighty roar and stumbled backwards.
Ranko's eyes went wide. <It worked!!> She charged up another ball
and aimed it with her good arm. <Sorry, Sanma, but Ranko Tendo never
throws a fight,> she thought as she blasted her brother the elephant
with another ball.
Over in the spectators, a wave of gasps washed over them as the
third chi ball hit the slow moving elephant.
Ukyo looked at Nipplering. "Nipplering, this isn't fair!!"
Nipplering kept her eyes on the combatants. "There was no rule
about chi attacks. As long as there is no property damage or threat to
the spectators, I'll allow it to continue."
Ukyo didn't like that answer and bit her fingers to steady her
nerves. <With his size, Sanma's a sitting duck out there against Ranko's
chi attacks.>
The elephant was trying to avoid the blasts, but Sanma knew he
couldn't move fast enough to avoid them all. <He's pretty desperate if
he has to resort to chi attacks against me.> He scooped up a half dozen
spatulas from their hiding place under the large blanket he had over his
back and flung them in Ranko's direction.
Ranko was a little surprised to see the spatulas glowing with green
energy as they shot towards her. She let the chi ball in her hand fly
and then did a sideways somersault. As the spatulas impacted the ground
and exploded, she was showered with dirt and debris. "Phhhffftttt..."
Ranma looked at Nipplering. "Property damage!"
Nipplering shook her head. "The grass and dirt don't count."
Ranma grumbled something.
Nipplering didn't look away from the battle when she replied. "My
mother may have been called Horsetail, but that does not make me a
horse's a..." Her statement was cut off by Sanma's reaction to Ranko's
next blast.
Ranko was smiling from ear to ear as she circled around Sanma's
back and sent another chi ball right up... well... it hit Sanma in a
very sensitive spot.
The men watching the fight all cringed in sympathy.
Ranma gulped loudly. "Damn... Ranko was a guy too once. How could
he..."
An enraged Sanma did a back flip by instinct in order to crush his
attacker like a bug, but in his elephant form that only resulted in him
twisting to the side. Again he was hit by a chi blast. <Dammit... I'm
going to lose...> He looked around desperately for anything that could
help him. That's when he saw the worried expression on his wife's face.
<I will not lose! Ucchan deserves that restaurant!!>
Ranko could barely feel her broken arm as she savored her come from
behind victory and released another chi ball at Sanma. Her eyes went
wide as the elephant flung off the blanket on his back and tossed it at
her. The blanket burst into flames as the chi ball hit it. Knowing that
Sanma was up to something, Ranko leapt straight up to avoid a charging
elephant.
Instead, she was hit by a large chi ball and crashed to the ground.
"What the..." Smoke rising from her singed clothing, Ranko looked up and
saw Sanma pointing his trunk at her, a chi ball forming at the tip. The
trunk flexed and the chi ball flew at her. "Oh, shhh.... shoot!!"
Instead of correcting her language, Ranko would have been better off
getting out of the way of the chi ball. It hit her broken arm, sending
waves of pain throughout her already tired body.
The crowd--except for the babies of course--jumped to their feet
and gasped as Sanma charged and fired off another chi ball with his
trunk.
Ranma laughed. "Well, there's something I'd never thought I see, a
pink elephant blowing chi balls out of his nose at my sister."
Despite the condition of her husband, Akane couldn't help by
chuckle. "It is a sight," she said as the elephant's trunk contracted
and sent the latest chi ball at Ranko. She cringed as the energy sent
her husband a crashing across the ground. <Please stop, Ranko.>
After the fourth blast, Ranko managed to get to her feet and
stumble out of the path of the fifth and sixth blasts. She circled
around the back of the elephant and fired off a blast of her own, before
tripping over a mound of dirt that was upturned by one of the earlier
spatula blasts. She fell and crashed to the ground, gasping in pain as
her broken arm reminded her that it was still broken.
The elephant couldn't get out of the way of the blast, and ended up
taking it across his side. Sanma gritted his large teeth as the already
sore side was awash in pain. He staggered and tripped over his own feet.
With a large thud, he fell to the ground.
Unfortunately, he fell exactly where Ranko had fallen.
Ranko screamed as she was pressed into the ground by the weight of
the elephant. All thoughts of the fight vanished as she tried to keep
from being crushed. <What does Sanma think he's doing?!>
Sanma's eyes glazed over and his large eyelids flickered. With a
heavy sigh, his eyes closed as he lost his battle to stay conscious.
Ranko heard the snap of one of her bones, not sure which one. She
tried pushing with her good arm, but the heavy flesh that was crushing
her wouldn't budge. <I don't want to die like this!! Crushed to death by
my brother the pink elephant is not a very heroic death for the greatest
martial artist in the world.>
On the other side of the unconscious elephant, most of the adults
were trying to push Sanma off Ranko.
Akane was in tears. "I should have never let that idiot do this..."
Ukyo was pushing right next to her. "Yeah... me neither..."
Seeing they weren't having any luck pushing Sanma from the side,
Ranma looked around. "Let's try pushing from the back end!!"
Everyone agreed and shifted around to the rear of the elephant.
"One... two... three!!" Nipplering shouted and they all pushed the
elephant.
Suddenly, Daiji scuttled over with a pail and tossed some water onto
the elephant. The people pushing the elephant crashed to the ground as
the flesh shrunk away from them.
Ranko found herself able to breathe again and took full advantage of
the fact with several deep breaths. And then a pair of breasts were
pressed against her face, cutting off her breathing again.
"Gaaaaggggkkkk..."
Akane pulled Ranko into a tighter embrace. "Oh, thank goodness
you're okay."
"Gaaaaa...."
"Sanma?" Ukyo asked, holding her now human, female, and naked
husband in her arms. "Sanma?" She patted the side of Sanma's face.
Ayami pushed her way through all the adults and saw Sanma and
Ranko. "Two Papa-chans!!"
Ranma smiled at his youngest and then picked up Daiji. "Why'd you
do that, Daiji?"
Daiji looked at the discarded pail on ground and smiled. "Uncle's
like me so I figured water would change him into something that wouldn't
crush Mommy."
Ranma kissed his daughter's forehead. "That's my smart girl."
-A- -M- -D-
A few days later in the dojo, the students all gasped. "Sensei,
what happened?!"
Ranko smiled from the entrance to the dojo. "I had a little fight
with an elephant." She hobbled over using a cane, trying to keep her
weight off her broken foot and shifting her arm cast slightly. In
addition to the cast on her foot and arm, she had bandages wrapped
around several spots on her arms and legs and a big bandage under her
shirt to hold her three broken ribs in place. All in all, she was in
pretty good condition after almost being crushed by a two-ton elephant.
The oldest boy in the class looked over Ranko's injuries without
even mentally undressing her as he would normally. "Who won?" Kamajirou
asked.
Ranko smirked. "Well, let's just call it a draw."
"What does the elephant look like?" Kamajirou asked.
Ranko smirked. "A lot like me, actually."
"Except I didn't break any bones," a carbon copy--except for the
pigtail's placement--of Ranko said from the doorway. Like Ranko, she had
various bandages wrapped around her, but no casts.
"If you weren't so fat, I'd be in better shape too."
"You're just mad because I was declared the winner."
Ranko frowned. "Only because your fat ass pinned me before you
passed out!!"
Sanma scowled at Ranko and took a step towards her sister. She was
stopped by a hand grabbing her shirt.
"Oh no you don't. No fighting until you're both completely healed,"
Ukyo said from behind Sanma, smiling.
Sanma nodded.
Kamajirou leered at the two redheads. <Hot damn!! Twin redheads...
this is a great dojo!!> He looked at Ukyo. "The brunette's not bad
either."
Ranko looked back at her class and frowned at seeing the perverted
leer on Kamajirou's face. <That kid is nothing but a walking pile of
hormones. Either he's punching someone out or coming onto a girl.> She
thought back to the time she had broken up a fight between Kamajirou and
one of the other students and gotten felt up for her trouble. <Sometimes
both.> "Well, class, since I'm a bit indisposed at the moment and my
brother is teaching a class over in Shinjuku this week, my sister Sanma
will be helping out." She gestured towards Sanma. "Please welcome your
new Sensei."
The students all bowed to Sanma.
Sanma returned the bow, 'accidentally' revealing her sports bra to
the students.
Kamajirou started to drool. The drooling stopped when Sanma flew
through the air and kicked his face.
Sanma landed perfectly. "First lesson: Never let your hormones
distract you."
***********************************************************************
>From the Journal of James Davidson
May 26, 2058
"I never did like that Kamajirou," Sanma muttered as she finished
her story.
"That was a little cruel of you, wasn't it?" I asked. "I mean... he
was just a kid."
Sanma grinned. "Well, Ranko had told me about their troublesome
student before we started. We knew Kamajirou was just looking to learn
how to beat people up."
I raised an eyebrow. "So you beat him up first?"
Sanma smirked. "Well, there are some students that you had to take
the direct approach with if they are to have any chance of learning the
proper martial arts techniques."
I thought back to my classes with Yohachi. "Maybe I should take one
of your courses someday."
Sanma shook his head. "I'm only doing very advanced classes these
days and the techniques I teach aren't defensive."
I paused to ponder that statement and wondered what the Tendo's
would consider a 'very advanced offensive technique'. I was pretty sure
I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of any of them. "I guess I'll
stick to Yohachi's classes then."
Sanma nodded. "Yohachi is a great teacher. I wish I could have half
of his patience when my students screw up."
I gulped. "He didn't tell you about me falling on my butt when I
swung too hard during my class yesterday, did he?"
Sanma shook his head. "Nope, he told me you fell on your ass when
you ignored his instruction to put your weight into the swing."
I gulped. "I didn't want to hurt little Takma... he's just a kid."
Sanma shook his head. "Size doesn't matter. Only the technique."
I looked skeptically at Sanma and remembered 'The Great Ranko vs.
the Elephant fight' that we had just been talking about. "So that's why
Ranko almost beat you, even when you were an elephant?"
Sanma flinched. "No!! I was... was just taking it easy on him. As
it is, I almost killed him." She put her hand nobly on her chest. "If I
hadn't held back, he probably would have been crippled for life."
I nodded, knowing that Sanma was pulling my leg. Probably.
[End - Chapter 5]
Coming soon: Chapter 6: Pregnant Pause
=======================================================================
The real author's (Jim Lazar) notes/ramblings:
I'd like to thank my pre-readers David Johnston, Michael A. Chase, and
Thomas C. Kinnen for helping me find and fix problems with this story.
FFML members xxx and xxx were also helpful in fine tuning this story.
Thank you all. Of course in the end, any mistakes and botched characters
are my fault.
Revision 0.0 - Rough draft began (May 20, 2000)
Revision 0.1 - Rough draft finished (June 28, 2000)
Revision 0.3 - Pre-reader draft (October 8, 2000)
Revision 0.4 - FFML draft (October 22, 2000)