Liked the story. I think I read part 1 a long time ago; now
I've re-read it and parts 2-4 in quick succession. You show
a lot of improvement, IMO, in story-telling in parts 3 & 4:
you take the time to get the characters into and out of non-
trivial and non-derivative situations. These parts seem more...
mature, I guess; worth re-reading.
I also like the whole Soun-Nabiki-allowance thing. Much truer
to the manga than usually done.
"Flight's not till noon, Akane," Nabiki snapped, gingerly
letting her feet touch the floor.
"You know how father is," her sister countered seriously,
selecting a sun dress from the closet and laying on the bed
next to Nabiki. "The closer it gets to ten, the more worried
he'll get that the plane is leaving early without him."
Verisimilitude issue: the time it takes to get from Nerima
to Narita. Both the downtown Nerima to downtown Tokyo train
and the downtown Tokyo to Narita train are not short, and the
flight is international. For a noon flight, they should have
been on their way by 8 am at the latest, I would think.
(Let's see... a few minutes perusal of
http://gojapan.about.com/travel/gojapan
gives a best time one-way train ride from Nerima station to
Narita-Airport station of 1 hour 47 minutes, for 2250 yen per
person, and two train changes. For a noon international flight,
they need to be at Narita at 10 am, meaning leaving Nerima
station at 8:13 in the best case (all trains exactly when the
Tendos need them).
This sort of thing is NOT unique to you by any means, and few
critics on this list seem to care quite as much as I do, but
still...
<SOAPBOX>
People, it's _NOT THAT HARD_ to spend a little time doing the
research over the web to significantly improve the extent to
which your story reflects Japan: geography, customs, etc.
</SOAPBOX>
Wearing his best clothes, i.e. his Chinese army uniform,
Nice. I seldom see this picked up on, but in the mange the
"army" uniform, or Mao jacket and matching pants, IS the one
Ranma seems to wear on "formal" occasions.