Moonlit Thoughts
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The characters depicted within are
not mine, and I do not claim any credit for their creation or usage, save
for within this fiction. Monster Rancher is a trademark of Tecmo. Please
do not sue me. Comments, quips, insults and flames should be directed
toward
Platinum_Dragon@usinternet.com.
Feel free to MST this work, but please be kind enough to send me a copy
when you're done.
***
I'm not certain when I first noticed it. If it was when he hit me,
after, before... I'm not sure what it was that set it off, but something
did... And more and more, I find that I can't deny it any longer. Even so,
I'm still struggling to ignore it, trying to brush it aside, as though I
could go on as I was before. Even though I know, in my heart... if I can
truly still claim to have one... that I can't... But I've gone too long
like this to let go so fast. It's too much a part of me, now. It... has
too strong a grip on me, and I know it. I can't let go alone.
The funny thing about it is, he didn't really hit me all that hard.
All for breaking a promise, and he walked right up... well, ran right up and
hit me. Could he have really believed...? No. No, he must have known that
I would break my word. He must have... But for some reason, I can't help
seeing how... how hurt his eyes were when he realized that I'd lied. He
didn't really hit me all that hard; he wouldn't have hit me at all, if I
hadn't let my guard down, but... Some how, my cheek stings still.
It's already been a full day since our 'fight.' It should have stopped
stinging by now, but... I almost think that it hurts more then it did when
he first got me. I know that the bone isn't broken; I healed myself as soon
as I came into my private chambers, but it didn't stop hurting. The red
mark didn't go away either... Why? I don't understand... My healing
should have washed away all traces of it, but my cheek is still red, and it
still hurts... I know that I should just heal it again, instead of asking
why, but... I know, somehow, that the result would be the same. My cheek
would still be red, and it would still hurt, somehow worse then before.
Now that I think about it, the pain only lessened once, for just a
brief time. It was when... when I left that human there after all. What
did he call him? M-something. Mickey? Yes, that was the name. Mickey.
Blue couldn't believe it, when I told him to leave him there... To be
honest, neither could I. I don't even know why I decided to leave him
behind; I just suddenly heard myself telling Big Blue to leave him there.
The clays might have argued, though, if Blue hadn't been there.
My friend... My... only friend. We've been through so much together.
Do you still remember the first time we met, each of us thinking that we'd
been sent to recapture each other after we'd escaped our masters? Do you
still remember the oath we took together, after the dragon, the true slave
tracker, came for us? No... I know that you remember still. The one who
forgot was me. We swore to never be slaves to another... but when I went
to swear to Moo, you followed me without hesitation. I forgot our oath,
even though I knew... even then... somewhere inside, that we would be as
much a slave to him as we ever were to any of those who'd once 'owned' us.
You followed me faithfully, and all that we have to show for it... in the
end... is more years of pain and sorrow.
I'm not sure when I started noticing it. If it was when he hit me;
before; or after... When I first started noticing that I hate life as I am
now far more then I ever did as a slave. At least as a slave I had a reason
to struggle to survive, to fight to keep living... the hope that, someday, I
might free myself or be freed. But now... all that I have is the knowledge
that... I've become what I hated so much, and that worse then that, I've
dragged my friend... my only friend with me. I think... no, I know that
that is part of the reason that my cheek still hurts; that it still bears
the mark of where he hit me.
For his trouble, I threw him down a cliff, but... even now, I can't
make myself feel angry for him hitting me. I don't know why, any more now
then I did then. No, I'm lying to myself. I don't feel angry because I
have nothing to be angry for. He hit me... But he had every right to. I
think that I probably would have been angry if he hadn't. I can remember a
time when promises actually meant something to me, the way they do to him...
I broke my word, and a simple punch was far less then I truly deserve. But
even though I knew that then as well as I know it now, I still blasted him
off the cliff. Why?
That damn word, again and again. Why. I keep coming back to it. I
know some of the answers, but the answer changes every time I run into it,
and every time I run into it, the answer is harder to figure out. Why did I
kill him, for doing something that I know I deserved having done to me?
But... Somehow, I know that he isn't dead. By all rights, he should
be; that fall would kill anything, even, I think, Moo. But I know that he
survived, the same as I know why I didn't fly down to make certain the job
was finished... Because there's something about him... Something that I
saw, when he believed that I would let Mickey go...
I know that I can't get away from what I've become alone... But...
I think...
Maybe...
He can help me....
Strange... But somehow, with that thought... My cheek doesn't hurt so
much anymore, and somehow... I know that the moonlight shining down on my
face now is shining down on unmarked, white skin.
---
The Platinum Dragon
"Great... Just great... Guy shows up looking like a mime from Hell, and you
loose him right out in the open. Well... At least he didn't do that
walking against the wind thing..." Officer Alsbrect, The Crow
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