And here it is just as I sent C+C on one of your older things:
Experimenting with my style again:
$Hey, cool. I need to try that excuse sometime.
Actually I'm being sincere, for a change.
Words said unthinkingly, spontaneous in nature as they form from the
cacophony of thoughts that make up the mind and emerge almost instantly
from
the mouth. When 'restraint' is a word that is difficult to pronounce, and
certainly not understood, never will one know honesty in a truer form.
$Kids can be so cruel.
Yep. Unthinkingly so.
"I'm not surprised. I wouldn't wanna marry her."
$Kid2:Yes, but you don't count. You're gay.
Kid1: No I'm not! Take that back you faggot!
Kid2: Make me, gayboy!
Kid1: I'll show you, I'll get every girl in the world!
And thus, Ataru's quest begins.
Hehehehe. Decent parody of this, horribly enough. A pity Ukyou has more to
work with than Ataru. :)
"Some guy ran off with her dowry."
$Kid2: Dowwy? What's that?
Kid1: I dunno, I think it's some kind of doll.
^_^
Adults have the benefit of experience, learning from past pains and
forging
armor to protect themselves from those insults whose wicked barbs dig
deeper
and reach into places that no physical weapon could ever touch. Though no
matter how strong and mighty the armor is, it can always be destroyed by a
single word employed in just the right place at just the right time.
Flawed
creatures are incapable of creating perfect things.
$That's not entirely true. Perfect obliviousness is proof against any
sort
of insult. Perfect obliviousness does require effort to maintain,
however.
True. Most such people become executives in corperations, though.
"No one's ever going to want to marry her."
$Considering that she's going to turn into a coniving little bitch,
probably not.
Well, not too many of the Ranma cast are ideal marriage material,
truthfully.
Ah, the wonderful era of growing up that all are forced to enjoy/suffer
through.
$Others have already pointed out the problem with this sentance.
Have changed it since.
"He probably didn't like her okonomiyaki."
$Heh, they probably said that one in the canon R1/2.
Not sure. But it would fit with a young child's pattern of logic.
Over and over again and again, words expressed in a variety of different
ways but with identical meanings.
"I think he didn't like her."
Children are so blessed with an infinite capacity for talk.
$So are adults.
Yes. But moreso with children. Some of the adults learn to reign themselves
in. One or two for sure.
"You know, with the way she dresses and acts, I bet she's not even a real
girl."
$Well, you know...
Shh. That's my idea for the next fic. :)
"I'll show everyone!"
$Show us your tits!
So you vote for the 'Ukyou: World Class Stripper' option as well, eh?
A yawn found itself escaping Ranma's lips. In response, the young man
began
twirling a pencil around between his fingers and forced himself to at
least
try to listen to the droning voice of his homeroom teacher. It would not
have been so difficult if the man could talk in anything other than a
monotone that would have bored a fire into extinguishing itself.
$Teach countless unresponsive kids for half your life and see how
enthusiastic you are.
Sad but true.
About the only time the teacher raised his voice was to send someone out
into the hall; a situation Ranma had found himself experiencing all too
many
times in the past. He vowed if fate was going to have him holding a couple
of buckets again, it was not going to be because he dozed off in class.
$Oh, no. It'd be for a good reason, like beating the crap out of Kuno in
class.
Exactly.
Looking over his shoulder, he noticed Akane steal a glance in his
direction,
then look back towards the front of the class, her interest obviously
piqued. The pencil was placed back upon the desk as he returned his
attention to the front of the class.
$Apparently, even a pencil loses its charm after a while.
Yep, or so I've judged from personal observations.
Ranma was surprised to see the teacher seem almost nervous as he looked to
the open door that led to the hallway, then nod his head towards someone
just out of sight from the position Ranma had in his seat. Taking a deep
breath of air, the teacher adjusted his tie and said in a loud, unusually
authoritative voice,
$By which he vainly hopes to impress the new girl with his manly
authority.
Yep. :)
The figure passed through the doorway and into the classroom itself,
coming
into view for all to see. She moved slowly, but with a graceful, fluid
motion that suggested she were gliding across the tiled floor instead of
merely walking across it.
$And then they saw the skateboard.
Heh
the students in the room at ease. Her features were attractive, very much
so, with just the right amount of make-up applied to just the right places
to make her seem beautiful without being unattainable. Even through her
school uniform, it was obvious her body was appealing, while being neither
voluptuous nor plain. Her allure was almost palpable, emanating from a
combination of her physical features, posture, and the warm smile she
carried into the room.
$RandomRabidFanboy: At last! Someone is writing Ukyo-sama in character!
Hehehe. Been listening to Gary again, eh? :)
As her half-lidded gaze poured over the students, every male in the room
became convinced that for one, brief moment, he was the complete center of
attention this newcomer had to offer.
$all the attention, I think.
Hmm. Prefer it the way I have. Sounds better to me.
Nearly every man in the room found his heart beat just a little faster,
and
basic, primal urges called out to prove themselves worthy of this new
girl's
attention.
$Student1: Uhg! Me big man! Watch me push this pipsqueak around!
Not that far off, horribly enough. I know I've wanted to preen for the
attention of an attractive woman when they enter my presence.
For most of the girls, the response was to shoot the newcomer glares
either
of hostility, both warded and open, or looks of awe.
$And beings how most of the fanservice here is for those who like Ukyo,
none of them were looks of lust.
Not that sort of fic. :p
Instincts cried out that this new student was someone to either be feared
or
emulated, and each female reacted accordingly to her own instincts. The
newcomer's own gaze was that of open innocence, as though evaluating each
person with an open mind.
$Suggest replacing the first open with guileless (*snort*).
Yes. Definitely like that.
For her part, Akane found herself put on edge by the appearance of the new
girl. A bit of jealousy at how... feminine, she seemed, when compared to
Akane's own admittedly somewhat tomboyish demeanor, plagued her. It wasn't
$Don't need 'own'.
Hmm. Okay.
like Kasumi's own somewhat standard Japanese housewife appearance, which
Akane had never tried to imitate. This new person radiated something
different, and Akane reluctantly admitted some part of her wished she was
more feminine in the newcomer's manner.
$I should hope not. There're enough heartless women in this world as
there
is.
Well, maybe Akane could find the middle ground by learning how to move
slinkily without losing heart. :)
Guilt followed on the heels of jealousy. Akane quickly squashed those
feelings of distrust and tried looking at the new girl with a more
positive
attitude. She was new and probably needed friends. Just so long as she
didn't try to cozy up to Ranma, like far too many other girls had already
done.
$Look at it this way, Akane. If he falls for it, he deserves what he
gets.
Ah ha! So you're a 'blame the victim' type of person, eh? :)
Time seemed to stretch into an eternity as the girl finally bowed with a
grace that made nearly every man in the room want to stand and bow back,
though all remained in their seats.
$Clearly, no one obeys that teacher at all. I distinctly remember him
telling them to stand for the new student.
Good point. Will change.
At last she spoke. "Greetings. My name is Ukyou Kuonji. It's a pleasure to
meet you all."
Of all the men in the room, only Ranma had remained impassive to the
girl's
appearance.
$But he's oblivious. That's a normal reaction.
Yep. He's immune to most conventional forms of seduction. Hence Ukyo's
probably going to have a problem.
"It can't be," Ranma murmured under his breath. Memories conflicted with
one
another at what was supposedly 'known' and the obvious evidence before his
eyes.
$He couldn't have been more confused than if Ryoga had shown up wearing a
nice green dress and an obvious lack of underpants.
Heh. Am playing around with an idea of an alt-uni Ranma getting his hand on
a wish object and wishing that all of the people in his life that are
causing him problems 'go someplace else'. They get shunted to the 'real'
Ranmaverse without realizing it and cause appropriate havoc. Among them is
the real Ranma meeting an alternate version of Ryouga where the latter is
actually a girl that wants his head for standing her up for their 'date' in
the backlot when they were kids.
Familiarity hammered at his memory as he carefully looked the newcomer
over,
trying to reconcile the image of a boy from his youth with the obvious
symbol of femininity before him. Perhaps it was nothing more than a
coincidence; it was the only explanation that made sense.
$Mystery over, he promptly went back to pencil twirling, leaving Ukyo to
wonder just where she went wrong.
Hehehe. Cute
The teacher closed his mouth as he realized he was staring at the new
girl.
Again. He knew his reaction was highly improper, the girl was less than
half
his age, but he was still a man. "There is a seat next to Miss Tendou over
there." He pointed towards the empty chair and desk. "Please be seated and
we'll begin class."
$Heh, he just wanted to watch her walk away.
Yep. Devious, he is.
Ranma's jaw dropped low enough to almost hit his desk. He paled slightly
as
he mouthed barely audibly, "Ucchan?"
$Squeaked would have conveyed the same impression much more easily.
Hmm. Maybe. Will consider
Through the sudden haze of anger that formed when Ranma was looking
slack-jawed at the newcomer, Akane would have sworn that, for the briefest
of moments, Ukyou's smile went from heartwarming to feral, but then it
disappeared so quickly that the youngest Tendou daughter was certain she
had
made a mistake. Besides, there were more important things to worry about,
like why Ranma was acting as much of a jerk as every other guy in the
room.
$Usually he was a bigger jerk. Akane wondered if he was sick.
Hehe. She's not that bad.
And for Ukyou, who felt her heart skip a beat at Ranma's obvious attention
towards her, she knew that things were about to come full circle at last.
$Err, how? Is she going to steal his dowry and leave him crying on the
side of the road?
Could be. It would fit for a revenge plot, yet?
She wondered to whose soul Heaven should have mercy.
$DB's.
Well, that goes without saying.
All I have written out so far. Let me know what you think
$Righto. Heh, this lack of an easily accessable computer isn't slowing me
down at all.
Yeah. Not too shabby.
Well, so far it's kind of short. I take it that you're going to leave it
serious, but the occasional humor couldn't hurt.
Defintiely the former. We'll see about the keeping some humor in it.
I personally didn't care
for the writing stye in the first part, but it seemed okay. I'm a
whitebread kind of guy, I guess. Anything else I'll just have to wait and
see.
Sure thing.
Finish Old Aquaintance!
Going to start further work on it tomorrow. It's next on my 'to do' list.
C&C ya next chapter.
Thanks. Will try to get to 'Two Types of Liars' in the future. Thanks a lot
for the comments.
D.B. Sommer