Subject: [FFML] [FANFIC] [RANMA/SLAYERS] Slayers Nibunnoichi Part the Second
From: Aaron Bergman
Date: 10/12/2000, 7:47 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

 
 

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-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: Slnib2.txt
-- Desc: Slnib2.txt

	Zelgadis was depressed. This was nothing new.

	He was depressed because another so-called 'cure' had failed to 
meet his expectations. This was also nothing new.

	It had turned his stone skin a rather delicate shade of violet.

	This was both new and annoying.

	He wasn't going to let it get to him. Oh no. Not even the 
comment he'd gotten from the alchemist ("At least it's better than 
blue, eh boy?") or the come-on from the alchemist's apprentice would 
burst his aura of cool control.

	He hadn't destroyed their tower out of rage, but out of a sense 
of responsibility and aesthetics. 

	Or so he had told himself.

	Which left him with violet skin, sitting in a Zefelian tavern, 
wondering if his chimera metabolism would let him get drunk. Rip-
roaring, stone-bending (if you'll pardon the pun) drunk.

	Someone tapped his shoulder. "Excuse me, sir, but do you know 
the way to the Tendou dojo?"

	Without turning around, Zelgadis said, "No. Buzz off."

	The unseen speaker presumably buzzed. Zelgadis couldn't care 
less. Then a little boy slid into the only other chair his table had.

	The kid smiled. "Hey mister, you look pretty down. What's 
wrong?"

	"Buzz off, kid."

	The kid smiled even wider. "Could it have somethin' to do with
your skin, mister?"

	Short of physical violence, Zelgadis didn't see any way to make
this kid buzz, so he settled for the next best thing: short, annoying 
answers. "Yes."

	Then the kid did something strange. Reaching into a belt pouch,
he pulled a little paper packet out. The boy ripped it open, dumped the
powdery contents into a cup of water that had sat, untouched, in front 
of Zelgadis for several minutes, then tossed the contents onto the 
chimera.

	He changed. His skin grew soft for the first time in years, 
actually able to feel the whisper of cloth against bare skin! Zelgadis
reached out and touched the table, unbelieving. A sliver from the wood
drove itself into his fingertip. It was real!

	The kid grinned and left, placing the empty paper packet on 
the table. Zelgadis, too caught up in the simplest of all senses, 
touch, did nothing to stop his benefactor. The boy disappeared into the 
crowd before Zelgadis, suddenly too filled with joy to hold himself any 
longer, jumped out of his seat and shouted, "I'M HUMAN!!!!!"

	This was a bad idea. He knocked over a waitress that was 
carrying several bowls of hot soup. They spilled all over the human-
turned-chimera-turned-human, and he reverted to being a simple human-
turned-chimera. 

	Zelgadis ran his unfeeling fingers over the table he'd been 
seated at, oblivious to the hot soup staining his clothing. Sitting 
down heavily, he put his head in his arms and started weeping. Of all 
the cruel pranks for the gods to play...

	He raised his head, looking for the little boy. Seeing only the 
packet the kid had dumped into the water, Zelgadis picked it up and 
started reading it. "Japanese Cursed Spring of Drowned Man, dehydrated. 
Located in..."


Slayers NIBUNNOICHI
PART THE SECOND
COINCIDENCE UNFOLDS


	Xelloss stepped out of the dreary tavern, back to his 'normal' 
(purple-haired priest) form and glad of it. "The things I do for L-sama...
oh well, I guess that _was_ a pretty good prank. And it'll only get 
better."

	"What are _you_ doing here, Xelloss-san? And what are you 
mumbling to yourself about?"

	Xelloss literally jumped seven feet, ran headfirst into the 
tavern's sign, then dropped headfirst onto the ground. Amelia knelt 
beside him and said concernedly, "Oh, I'm sorry? Are you hurt?"

	Xelloss stood up. "I'm fine, just fine! But poor Zel-kun 
isn't."

	"Oh no!" Amelia's left hand covered her mouth in a classic 
gesture of surprise. 

	Xelloss, seeing a way to get rid of Amelia, quickly added, 
"Yes. Someone evil has played a cruel prank on him, and he's inside 
this tavern about to drown his woes in alcohol!"

	Amelia gasped. "You mean.... He might become an alcoholic?"

	Rather than wonder how Amelia's Wonder Brain had jumped to this 
conclusion, Xelloss simply said, "Yes."

	Amelia didn't waste any time. Nearly ripping the door off its 
hinges, she plunged bravely into the pit of a tavern, calling out 
Zelgadis's name. Xelloss chuckled. "Works every time." That's when he 
felt a tap on his spirit, a sure sign that someone powerful wanted to 
talk with him. Since Zelas-Metallum had been 'convinced' to give up his 
services, that could only mean one thing: the Lord of Nightmares. He 
sighed and prepared to dive into the Sea of Chaos.

				****

	Zelgadis bellied up to the bar, the picture of dejection. The 
poster-child of misery. The used dishrag of Fate. At least, that's how 
he felt, which wasn't actually that far from the truth.

	"Bartender?"

	The bartender didn't look up from the glass he was always 
polishing. "Yes?"

	"What do you have for someone who's just been taunted by the 
gods themselves?"

	"Hemlock with a twist." Then, he added, "Unless you mean that 
as a figure of speech, friend. Then I'd recommend Brew."

	"Make mine a double."

	Brew is infamous among Zefelian adventurers, because of both 
its simplicity and its lethality. It was also one of the _many_ reasons 
that Zefelians were better at adventuring than others, because to drink
brew took iron will (the color and the smoking drive off lesser men), 
strong control over the gag reflex (for some reason, most people try to 
throw up when they first smell the stuff), and near-superhuman 
constitution (otherwise you _will_ die.)

	As I have already stated, the basic recipe is simple. Take 
every kind of hard alcohol available. Pour half of each bottle into a 
barrel. Add hydrochloric acid for flavor. Depending on what Zefelian 
village you're in (each village has its own mix of Brew, and jealously 
guards the recipe), food coloring of the green, pink, or dingy brown 
variety may be added as well, just to give the drink a truly vile 
appearance. When served, drop in dry ice (magically preserved by local 
wizards for traditions' sake) to give it that smoking, threatening 
ambiance demanded by all true lovers of Brew.

	Oh, did I forget to mention that it's served in mugs?

	When that mug plopped down in front of him, Zelgadis didn't 
even blink. Some might wonder if he even bothered to look at it as he 
brought the mug to his lips and tilted his head back, chugging for all 
he was worth. A welcome cloud descended on his mind, obscuring his 
anger at... well, everything that had happened recently.

	"NOOOOO!!!! I am too late!" 

	All the anger that had just departed returned full-force. 
Zelgadis set down the mug and turned around, blinking unsteadily at the 
girl standing there. "Wh- Amelia? What are you doin' here?"

	Amelia reached behind Zelgadis and grabbed the mug from the 
bar. She dumped what little was left out, not noticing as the contents 
ate a hole in the wooden floor. "Saving you from the perils of drink, 
Zelgadis-san! Uh... what happened to your skin?" she added.

	Zelgadis wobbled as he stood up, towering menacingly over the 
princess of Justice. "Nothin' I wanna talk about. An' what makes you 
think I need saving, huh?"

	"Well, Xelloss said..." 

	After grabbing up his second mug (he did ask for a double), 
Zelgadis wobbled his way back to the table. "You listened to that 
double-crossing Mazoku trickster cheat? Well, that figures."

	Amelia followed him to his table, genuinely worried. "What do 
you mean, Zelgadis-san?"

	Zelgadis took another slug of Brew, then, his tongue loosened, 
said, "A bubble-brained little idiot like you would believe anything 
anyone says." After that, he tilted the mug upward and drained it down 
to the dregs.

	With those simple words, Amelia's heart shattered. Trying to 
keep up a brave face, she said, voice quavering, "Do you mean that?"

	Zelgadis's head hit the table. The bartender walked up to the 
table and picked up the empty mug. After checking the inside carefully 
then testing the unconscious chimera for a pulse just as carefully, he 
pronounced with great dignity, "He drained one and three quarters of a 
mug without dying. He holds the new record!"

	The bar erupted into shouts and cheers, which roused the 
chimera. After looking around for a moment, he saw Amelia sitting 
across from him. "Amelia-san? When did you get here?" Then he noticed 
the bartender standing above him. "What happened?"

	The bartender took out his glass again and started polishing. 
"Not much. You gulped some down, started talking to the little lady 
here, then passed out."

	"You mean I was only out for two minutes?" At the bartender's 
solemn nod, Zelgadis punched the table. "I should have known I wouldn't 
be able to get drunk."

	"Did you mean what you said?" Amelia's voice trembled as she 
spoke. 

	Which confused the hell out of Zelgadis. Feeling like Gourry 
for a brief moment, he said, "What I said? What did I say?"

	Rather than respond, she burst into tears. Zelgadis was left 
out of his depth. Up to this point, most of his experience with females 
(approximately one-half) had come from Lina Inverse herself. THE Lina 
Inverse. As you might imagine, this hadn't taught him much about how to 
deal with feminine tears. Quite a bit of the rest had come from the 
girl sitting in front of him, but Zelgadis had never seen Amelia cry 
like this. 

	Zelgadis, not knowing what to do, got up and sat next to her, 
putting a comforting arm around her. She shrugged it off, then stood up.
"Knowing what you really think of me, I'm afraid that I can no longer 
continue holding romantic feelings for you. It would just be wrong. Can 
we still be friends?"

	"What? Of course we're friends, Amelia, what would make you 
think otherwise?" Zelgadis was bewildered, a perfectly understandable 
state.

	The whole room fell into silence. Then, the room resounded with 
the sound of a door hitting a wall. 

	"WHERE IS THE TENDOU DO... ah, hehe, sorry." Amelia (and 
everyone else in the room) turned to the man with the bandanna, who 
stood in the storage room door. The man put one hand behind his head 
and started laughing nervously. "Am I interrupting something?"

	Zelgadis heard a sigh from the girl sitting next to him, and he 
turned his attention back to Amelia. She was sitting with both hands 
under her chin, staring with stars in her eyes at the man with the 
bandanna. "Oh, he's soooo cute..."

	This made Zelgadis feel very uncomfortable and angry, for 
reasons he refused to examine. _She sure cheered up fast..._ "Amelia-san, 
we don't even know who he is. For all we know, he could be a bandit."

	Amelia turned to the chimera, shocked to her core. "No, say it 
isn't so! Well then, it is my duty as a Champion of Justice to turn him 
from his evil ways!" She moved quickly over to where the bandanna'd man 
was walking aimlessly around the tables, and seized one of his arms. 
She dragged him back to the table.

	Zelgadis felt as confused as the man looked, but shrugged and 
took life for what it was. "I'm Zelgadis Graywords. Pleasure to meet 
you."

	The man sat down. "My name is Ryouga Hibiki."

	Amelia plopped down in a chair between them. "And I'm Amelia 
Wil Tesla de Saillune. Are you a bandit?"

	Ryouga looked at her, befuddled. "No, I'm a wandering martial 
artist. Why do you ask?"

	Amelia winked at Zelgadis, which furthered his discomfort. "No 
reason..." 

	Zelgadis decided, right then and there, to _never_ try to 
comprehend what had happened in the last few minutes. Thinking about 
Amelia's motivations made his head hurt anyway, so he figured she'd get 
over whatever was bugging her and tell him what happened, or maybe Lina 
would be able to drag it out of her the next time they all got together. 
"Amelia, have you ever heard of a place called 'Japan'?"

	Amelia shrugged. "No, can't say that I have." Ryouga, however, 
perked up. 

	"I'm from Japan!"

	Zelgadis turned to him, suddenly ready to forgive him anything. 
"You are? Great! How do we get there?"

	Ryouga put one hand behind his head and laughed nervously. 
"It's, uh, hehe, funny you should mention that..."

				****

	The Sea of Chaos laughed after Xelloss departed. "It's all 
going according to plan!"

	Jusenkyou, who had remained hidden while the Mazoku was 
speaking, asked His roommate, "Do You think that maybe We are involving
Ourselves in Our world overmuch?"

	"What makes You say that?"

	"Look at Yourself." The Sea of Chaos did so.

	"And?"

	"You're in a body, without any puny mortals around!"

	"Yeah, so? I like this body. Feels comfortable." The Sea of 
Chaos leveled one golden digit at Jusenkyou. "Who are You to talk? 
You're in a body too!"

	Jusenkyou tugged on His pigtail nervously, then adjusted the 
bandanna that kept the hair out of His eyes. "You see? I didn't even 
decide to accept an avatar, and yet here I am, riding one!"

	The Sea of Chaos shrugged. "So what? As We shape Ourselves,
so Our mortals, through their perceptions, shape Us. It's a simple fact,
old friend, so deal." She looked at the object in Her hands. "Why they 
imagine I carry a shovel around is beyond even My omniscience..."

	Jusenkyou sighed, then looked puzzled for a moment. "You know,
I have the feeling We forgot something."

			****

	Naga came to with a splitting headache. Nothing out of the 
ordinary for her. What was unusual was her surroundings: a magic lab 
she'd rented from a local sorcerer. Her recollection of the last few 
hours was hazy, but she was fairly certain she'd succeeded in her 
experiments.

	"OHOHOHOowowowow!" She clutched her head in agony. "I, Naga the 
White Serpent, have succeeded in walking the dimensions." Then, she 
rubbed her head, deep in thought. "I wonder how I did it. And... who is 
this Ranma-sama I long for?"

			****

	Kodachi came to with a splitting headache. Which was no 
surprise to her, though her recollections of the last few hours were 
hazy. And there was strange knowledge crowding her brain, making it 
feel even more swelled.

	"Ohhhh... my head. It's too dark in here. _Lighting!_" As she 
spoke the word, a ball of light floated from her hand and rose to the 
ceiling, illuminating the whole room. Kodachi stared at her hand in 
surprise.

	"How did I do that? And... who is this 'Lina Inverse' I long to 
compete with?"

			****

	Ranma ran atop the fence next to the canal, trying to reconcile
his own memories. On the one hand, he remembered Tokyo being immense, 
with a nation's worth of people in its own right. On the other, he 
_knew_ that it only had maybe twenty or thirty thousand people in it, 
including all the farming villages surrounding Tokyo proper.

	This could give anyone a headache. What made it worse was 
trying to figure out just what the hell had happened yesterday. Mass 
hallucination?

	Gosunkugi admitted to studying books on Nylarthotep and the 
other Great Old Ones, but denied having anything to do with worshipping 
one. Happosai didn't remember being staked and almost sacrificed, and 
told everyone outright that "It'd take a magician stronger than that 
pathetic weakling to sacrifice me!" Then there had been the whole 
Kodachi/Nagachi thing, but she hadn't even shown herself since 
yesterday. 

	Just how much had changed? How had it changed? With this odd 
double memory, Ranma kept on turning corners, expecting to see 
buildings that weren't there or people that didn't exist. An odd 
fragment from a movie he'd seen recently (_What the hell is a movie?_ 
he wondered absently) popped in his head. In it, the cast of some 
popular show had taken a ride on a turtle's back, ending up in a 
strange place. Maybe that was what had happened to them...

	"Nihao, airen! So good to see you!" Ranma was glomped by a 
purple-haired flurry of Amazon love. Looking around frantically for 
other fiances, he spotted Akane heading his way with fire in her eyes 
and mallet in her hands.

	_Some things haven't changed, I can tell you that much._ He 
spiraled his way into unconsciousness, helped along by a healthy 
beating.

			****

	The door to the Cat Cafe slid open, and Cologne, who was 
manning the counter, looked up. "Welcome."

	The woman standing there brushed her hair out of her eyes and
handed the old woman a sign. "Says help wanted. Need a job."

	Cologne took the sign, bemused by the way this woman, speaking
in a rude and abrupt fashion, nevertheless managed to sound polite. "Do 
you have a resume, young woman?"

	The young woman, rather than answer, simply handed Cologne a 
piece of paper. Cologne scanned it quickly, then handed it back to the 
woman. "Nice to meet you, Inverse-san. It says that Ceipheed, one of 
your references, sleeps inside you. Could I speak to him?"

	The Dragon spoke, and Cologne listened.

			****

	"No, I'm afraid that I can't take your job."

	"What do you mean?!"

	Lina Inverse, sorceress extraordinare, was being driven out of 
her mind. she'd spent nearly four hours here on the docks, looking for 
a ship and a captain who'd be willing to take on the possibly dangerous 
task of finding the island of Japan. So far, she'd had no luck.

	"I mean that I won't take your job. I have a lucrative trade 
right here, and I'm not about to give it up for some lousy treasure map 
that's older than dirt. Four out of ten ship's captains die on those 
sorts of trips, you know. statistical fact."

	"I'll give you statistics!" Gourry, afraid Lina was going to 
hurt someone and get them permanently banned from another city, took 
action by grabbing her arms.

	"Come on, Lina, it isn't like they're out to get us."

	She turned a horrible expression on the wandering swordsman. 
Lina slavered as she raved, "Of course they're out to get us! They're 
always out to get us!"

	"Lina, you're getting all pedaroid again."

	Lina calmed down slightly as she said, "Do you mean paranoid?"

	Gourry looked shocked. "Of course not! I'd never imply that you 
do those sorts of things to children!"

	The man the'd been talking to cleared his throat, thereby 
saving Gourry a beating. "If you want to hire a ship, I'd recommend 
that you go to the Mermaid's Tonsils."

	Lina smacked Gourry once on the head in lieu of the pounding 
he'd earned. "Where is it? Is it a wretched hive of scum and villany?"

	The man looked fairly shocked. "Of course not! It's an ice 
cream shop. If you want a wretched hive of scum and villany, I'd 
recommend the Mermaid's Armpit, but I don't think it would do you much 
good."

	"Why do you say that?" Lina asked, genuinely curious.

	"If you are in fact Lina Inverse, Enemy of all Who Live" Gourry
tensed his arms, stopping Lina from going for the throat "then you'd be
more likely to fireball the place then get any help from the pirates 
inside. But they do have a really good salad bar..."

	Gourry started dragging Lina away. "Thanks for all your help. 
See you around!"

	Xelloss waited until they were out of site before reverting to
his normal form. "Well, that worked out splendidly. I just wish I knew
the fullness of L-Sama's plan. Hmm... maybe I should check out this 
'Japan'  place they're looking for transport to. Could be interesting..." 

	He teleported away.


			****

	"Gourry, have you noticed a certain sameness in all the bars
around here?" Gourry had released Lina after a sharp kick to the shin,
and now he was keeping his distance from the still-irate sorceress.

	"What do you mean, Lina?"

	"Well, look at that." She pointed to a sign that was hanging 
overhead. "Mermaid's Right Fin." Then, Lina swung her finger down the 
line of tavern signs. "Mermaid'd Left Fin, Mermaid's Appendectomy Scar, 
Mermaid's Pinky Finger, Mermaid's..." She blushed suddenly. "Well, 
that one's probably a whorehouse."

	Gourry looked on with interest. "Wow, Lina, look at that. I 
wonder how she manages to keep the costume on all day?" He pointed to 
a woman that was leaning out of one of the upper story windows.

	Lina kicked him again. "She's not supposed to keep it on! 
Pervert."

	"Ow!" Gourry pointed, in hopes of distracting her. "There's the
Mermaid's Tonsils!"

			****

	The Keys were happy. The initial stages of the game had gone 
well; perhaps too well, with this discovery of someone who could use 
the power the Keys possessed. Idly wondering what would happen if the 
person carrying them had a smidgen of their power, the Keys decided to 
test Amelia.

			****

	"Well, that's no good." Amelia sat back in her chair, stuffed 
to the brim. After eating in a Zefelian tavern, she had a whole new 
appreciation for where Lina's big appetite had come from. The table was
buried under a small mountain of still-uneaten food, and the other 
patrons were giving the threesome funny looks. "Well, if we could only
find Lina..."

	_KAAAZACK!_ The universe cracked for just a moment, then Ryouga,
Amelia, and Zelgadis disappeared from the tavern, leaving the smell of 
Pine-Sol behind. The bartender looked up from his glass. "Good thing I 
made them pay when I brought their food to the table... learned my 
lesson with that Inverse girl."

	_KAAZZACK!_ The universe cracked for just a moment, then Gourry
and Lina recoiled in surprise as Amelia, Zelgadis, and some guy wearing
a bandanna appeared in front of them, still seated in rather nice 
chairs.

			****

	Jusenkyou raised his head up suddenly, as though he were a 
hound that had caught a scent. "I felt them! My Keys were just used!"

	The Sea of Chaos clapped her hands. "Great! Now, where are 
they?"

	Jusenkyou looked sheepish for a moment. "Uhhh... in one of your
worlds?"

	The Sea of Chaos pulled a three-ton, titanium-reinforced paper
fan from Nowhere and opened a economy-sized bucket of whoopass on Her
roommate. "WE ALREADY KNEW THAT!!!! WHY CAN'T YOU TELL ME MORE?!?!"

	Jusenkyou groaned weakly. "Ohhh, that huurrts... Coach, they're
killin' us out there. Number 38 has it in for me..."

	The Sea of Chaos put away Her fan. "Maybe I overdid it a bit."

	"Owch! You think?!" Jusenkyou stood up slowly. "And to answer
your _question_, the reason I can't tell you more is because the Keys
only gave off a brief burst of energy. Far too brief for me to tell 
where it came from!"

	"Sorry." Jusenkyou looked mollified at Her apology.

	"No problem. Now, what can we do to entertain ourselves until 
they show themselves again?"

			****

	The Mermaid's Tonsils was a fairly nice place, even as far as
ice cream shops go. A dozen or so tables were scattered around the 
room, and there was a stage in the corner where several people sat, 
playing instruments and singing. Not many people were talking. 

	Amelia looked green as the five adventurers stepped into the 
Mermaid's Tonsils. She clutched her stomach as she said, "Oh, I want 
ice cream but the thought of it makes me sick..."

	Lina looked shocked. "Amelia not wanting ice cream? People 
appearing out of nowhere? Zelgadis with purple skin? What is the world
coming to? Which reminds me," she turned to Zelgadis, "why is your skin
purple?"

	Zelgadis grumbled as they found a table, "Failed cure. Don't 
wanna talk about it."

	Lina waved one hand disinterestedly. "Fine by me. So, what does
everyone want?"

	Zelgadis, Amelia, and Ryouga clutched their stomachs. "Couldn't
eat another bite..." they groaned in unison.

	"Whatever. How did you guys get here, anyway?"

	Gourry said brightly, "Maybe some writer couldn't figure out
how to bring us all together, so he just flung you here in violation
of the laws of time and space?"

	Everyone blinked. Gourry shrugged. "Or maybe not."

	A man wearing a star with a crossbow slung at his belt stepped
up to the table. "Watch it there, boy. We got laws about breakin' the
Fourth Wall in this town. I'll let y'all off with a warnin' fer now, 
but one more time and I'l run y'all in." He hitched at his belt and 
went up to the counter. 

	Everyone blinked again. Then, Lina stood up. "Well, I'm gonna
see if they have mint chocolate chip. Gourry, do you want something?"

	"Sure. Vanilla for me." Lina went up to the counter. Standing 
behind it was a man in his forties. 

	He said wearily, "Whaddya want?"

	"One mint chocolate chip cone, one vanilla cone, and a ship's 
captain for hire."

	The man perked up visibly. "Ship's captain? As it happens, I'm
a ship's captain! Jacob Bangle's the name." He dished out the ice cream
as he spoke. "Where do you need to go?"

	"The legendary Lost Restaurant of the Cat!"

	The whole room fell silent as she spoke. The music stopped.
The small crowd hushed. Then, someone said, "Who wants to do some 
karaoke?" Lina turned to the stage, where the previous singer was 
stepping down from the stage. 

	"Ooo! Ooo! I wanna!" Amelia rushed to the stage. She stepped 
up, and Lina turned her attention away. 

	Jacob handed her the cones. "My break's in ten minutes. If you 
wanna stick around, I'd be glad to talk with you!"

	Lina shrugged. "Sure. Why not?" She walked back to the table 
and handed Gourry his ice cream cone. "Here y'go. So, Zelgadis, you 
haven't introduced us yet." She gestured to the man in the bandanna.

	Zelgadis instinctively looked for Amelia, but she was still on 
stage. He grumbled for a moment, then said, "Fine. Lina, Gourry, this 
is Ryouga Hibiki. Ryouga, this is Gourry Gabriev and Lina Inverse."

	Ryouga didn't scream, run, point, shout out "Oh no! It's the 
enemy of all who live!" or any combination of the above, which made him 
a winner in Lina's book. Instead, he said, "Nice to meet you."

	"So, Lina, what kind of a quest are you on this time?"

	Lina rummaged around in her belt pouch for a moment, then 
handed Zelgadis the flyer. "Read it."

	Zelgadis took a moment to puzzle out the runes, then he read 
aloud, "'Come visit Japan this year! Our treasure-packed mountains and 
caverns beckon you! Our warrior masters and magicians are prepared to 
teach the latest in techniques! While you're here, why not stop for a 
meal at the Restaurant of the Cat? We've got the best ramen you'll ever 
taste! Mystic spices cost extra.'"

	Reaching a separate part of the flyer, he read, "'Sail due 
south from Cataman for two days, then turn left at Prayer Gate Rock. 
You can't miss it!'" He looked up at Ryouga. "How accurate is this 
thing?"

	Ryouga shrugged. "Got me."

	At this point, Jacob sat down in one of the two empty chairs. 
"You needed a ship's captain?"

			****

	Two nameless, faceless Mazoku minions were wandering around the 
Kataart Mountains, wondering what a demon could do for fun on a 
Saturday night. For clarity's sake, let's call one "Alpo" and the other 
"Purina."

	"Hey Alpo! You see that?" Purina pointed down into a valley.

	Alpo looked. In this small mountain valley, three men were 
apparently practicing their fighting skills. They leapt and dodged,
struck and parried, and generally made a real racket. Alpo grinned.

	"Well, looks like a little fun to be had, eh?" With that, he 
teleported down into the valley. The three men standing there took 
one look at him and stopped practicing immediately. 

	Alpo stepped forward intimidatingly. "Well well well, looks
like we got a couple of intruders here. What do we do to intruders,
Purina?"

	Purina shrugged. "Dunno. It's been what, three hundred years 
since anyone has dared to go into these mountains?"

	Herb turned to Mint. "Do you know who these guys are?"

	Mint shrugged. "No. They look like they'd put up a pretty good 
fight, though." He looked at Lime, who was standing behind the two 
Mazoku. "They seem to be trying to scare us, though. What say we teach 
them a lesson?"

	Mazoku aren't immune to chi attacks, and Alpo, along with 
Purina, soon lived up to their names.

AUTHOR'S NOTES

	Another chapter done. As of this writing, no one has answered 
the PUN CHALLENGE, so it still stands. I guess that a metaphysical 
cookie just ain't appealing enough, so how about this. I'll tell the 
secret to the first person who can find the most puns inherent in my 
title, "Slayers NIBUNNOICHI." What secret will I reveal, you ask? Well, 
that's a secret.

	Okay, question of the moment is, "What am I thinking, making 
Mazoku vulnerable to chi attacks?!" The answer's pretty simple. Chi is 
using the power of your own spirit to strengthen your attacks and 
defenses. Sounds a lot like shamanism so far, ne? And we all know that 
minor Mazoku are pretty vulnerable to the Ra Tilt, which I am (for 
convenience's sake) stating is equivalent to the Shishi Hokodan and the 
Moko Takashiba. I don't know if Herb, Mint, or Lime are able to pull 
off such powerful attacks, but since they were introduced _after_ Ranma 
and Ryouga learned both of the aforementioned attacks, I figure Rumiko
Takahashi would've given them an equivalent.

	Anyhoo, I'm going to be going offline for about eight weeks or 
so, starting next Sunday, so don't expect a new part for a while. 
However, I'll be storing the present part on a guy's website, so if you 
feel the itch you can always scratch. Don't worry, when I come back, 
I'm comin' back for good. And all will know my name, and all will 
TREMBLE!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

	KZZZAAAAAAPP! 

	Sorry about that folks, seems like Eyewrin my Evil Clone got 
into the file for just a bit... really. Honestly!


Aaron Bergman 
iamfanboy@hotmail.com
"The difficulty, my friends, is not to avoid death, but to 
 avoid unrighteousness; for that runs faster than death."
 -Socrates



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