Warr wrote:
Kasumi smiled and put her hands back in her lap. "All right. My
friend, Mako, has a younger brother about your age. I want you to spend
My friend Mako has -- Kasumi isn't talking directly to her, so...
No, that can be just fine as a weak parenthetical, although it's really
indicating a vocal inflection: "My friend (fractional pause) Mako (rising
tone implying an inquiry about recognition, possibly coupled with an
appropriate facial expression) (fractional pause at assumed confirmation of
recognition) has a younger brother..."
Ranma's angry expression suddenly became uncertain. He thought he
would be able to stand up to her when she started crying.
Uncertain about this sentence... He thought he would be able to stand up
to her until she started crying?
Seems perfectly straightforward to me. Ranma felt he could resist the urge
to cave in if Akane turned on the waterworks. Although, Chris, I'd change the
tense on that just slightly, to "Ranma had thought"; after all, he's reached
the point where he's no longer thinking that, because he *did* cave, contrary
to his expectations.
-- Bob
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Bob Schroeck
http://www.eclipse.net/~rms rms@eclipse.net
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Modern Problems: "The peasants are revolting" is a tautology.
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