On Tue, 3 Oct 2000 19:03:26 -0400 (EDT) Jason Liao
<jliao@phoenix.Princeton.EDU> writes:
On Tue, 3 Oct 2000, Tangent wrote:
NOTE: in this second section, Chinese dialogue is still
represented like so: "Good morning"; while other languages are
represented like so: <Good morning>. Specific thoughts are
surrounded
by [brackets], and Genma's signs (when he finally starts using
them)
by [[double brackets]].
I used to do this, but have since decided against it because I've
found
it works better to let the reader know that this is happening
through the
story itself. I suppose I have a snowflake's chance in hell of
convincing
you, but thought it would be better to let you know of my opinion.
I'd just like to point out that Tangent's way of doing it is poor
grammar. You should use quotes for any speech or thought that might be
considered 'dialouge'. Doing otherwise just distracts from the story,
besides no one wants to remember a key when they read fanfiction. When
using diffrent languages, thoughts, or other forms of communications.
[Like signs.] just specify. Use phrases like "thought Ranma." or "said
the girl in Chinese." It should be obvious what's going on in your story,
or you need to work on your writing skills anyway. [Just a note, brackets
can be used to indicate an aside note. Like this one! It's not really
used in storytelling though so it shouldn't really come up in
fanfiction.]
Ranma could feel his manhood slipping away as he drowned.
The
water filled her gasping lungs as she tried desperately to find
the
surface of the spring she had fallen into. Everything went dark
for a
moment, and then the water turned hot as she broke the surface.
Kho
Ome was there, adding soup stock, and looking at her with hungry
eyes.
Heh. I liked that scene in the earlier chapter. ^_^
Genma had virtually crammed how to behave like a man down her
throat
for as long as she could remember. But to abandon his only child
just
because she had become a girl? It was beyond her comprehension!
No it isn't. He just told us why Genma left him in the same
paragraph.
<Pop, you baka!> Ranma grumbled through tears of anger and
If < > means Japanese, then why is he still saying 'baka'?
Agreed, if your translating a phrase and specifying a diffrent
language you shouldn't mix words. It should be completely translated.
<snip>
<When I get my hands on her, I'll.I'll.>
First of all, your ellipses should be more than one dot. Secondly,
being
so extrovertive doesn't seem to mesh well with my conceptiaulzation
of
Ranma. Then again, I do have to note that I'm working on an
altverse type
fic that changes his characterization, and that could be clouding
my
perception on this point.
An elipse is three periods like so "..." if you're trying to
break up dialouge for stuttering or something simmilar this is what you
should use.
I'd continue from here, but for the most part I agree with Mr.
Liao. The story seems pretty good so far, I'm enjoying it and I'll keep
an eye on it. You're grasp of the English grammar is far from perfect,
but you do get your point across pretty well, I'm not really complaining
as my own grasp of grammar is not exactly perfect either. Hope you take
the comments with a grain of salt. If you aren't sure about something,
look it up. Don't fall into bad habits just because everyone else on the
list is doing it. Hope to see more of this soon!
Ja ne!
Carrotglace.