Evenin' Fellas,
At 06:53 PM 10/2/00 -0500, you wrote:
Feeling refreshed after her morning bath, Akane smoothed her
hair. It was the last step in readying herself for a perfect day. The
sun was shining, all was quiet, and already she could smell Kasumi's
hot, fresh breakfast on the table downstairs. So downstairs she ran, her
uniform skirt swishing.
Oh no! Akane is Martha Stewart!
"Good morning, Daddy!" she said to her father, kissing him on
the cheek. "What a beautiful morning."
And she is in Sesame Street!
"Good morning, Akane," her father replied, grinning broadly as
he tapped out his cigarette, set down his newspaper, and turned toward
the food. "Kasumi," he called toward the kitchen, "that smells
delicious."
Kasumi walks in the front door to find everyone's mouth agape. "Then
who's in the kitchen?"
Ranma walks out carrying a large platter of pancakes, scrambled eggs,
bacon, hash browns and toast, "Kasumi told me she had a doctor's
appointment this morning so I thought you all might want to try some
stuff Pops and I had while training in America."
"Good morning," Kasumi said. "Grr, fuck you, fuck you. Did you
sleep well?"
Tourette's Syndrome? My friend's brother had that- among other things.
The only difference I remember is that he would mumble and it would get
louder and louder until he sort of exploded with, "SHIT!"
Which also reminds me of a recent Greg Bear novel I read called Slant
where, among other things, this scientist gave herself Tourettes to
increase her creativity.
KASUMI'S SYNDROME
A cardboard take-out box rested in her left hand. The
okonomiyaki inside was inscribed with a passionate little love-note:
*Akane, meet me at Ucchan's at 2:00 tomorrow. Ryoga.* Well, okay, maybe
Is that am or pm?
She wished she didn't have to resort to such extremes. If only
things had turned out differently. If only Ran-chan and his father had
taken her with them all those years ago. The two of them would have
grown up to be the perfect couple... always supportive of one another,
anticipating each other's every need, never ever insulting or arguing.
If only that misbegotten father of his hadn't ruined everything.
Has there been a story where Genma did take her along but then Ranma
and Ukyou came to feel more like brother and sister than a couple?
The take I remember was Kasumi going with Genma so Ranma and Akane
were blase about each other.
A woman wearing a kitchen apron opened the door. Her
neatly-bound ponytail fell over her shoulder as her head turned. "Hello!
Good afternoon!" the woman said brightly. All in all, she looked like
someone's idealized dream of the pretty young homemaker. Mr. Tendo
must've robbed the cradle, Ukyo thought. Or maybe his wife was older
than she seemed; she'd pretty much have to be to have a daughter as old
as Akane.
Ukyou thinks Kasumi is Soun's wife. Okay, for a second I was thinking
she knew the family and Soun's wife was still alive.
"Oh, duh." Ukyo slapped herself on the forehead. Of course! "My
fault, sorry." The woman had just been giving her name! Being called
Fucking Ass Bitch was certainly weird, but for a family that had a
daughter as violent as Akane, it wasn't that unbelievable.
Now there's a leap and a half. Did her education, like Ranma's,
suffer from ten years of training for vengence? I've heard the orignal
Japanese had her sounding a bit like a redneck...
Mr. Tendo eyed her warily. "Uh, I'd rather you didn't."
Wouldn't he think to explain? Or is it a Japanese thing to make
like it doesn't exist?
Strange, Ukyo thought. Had she said something wrong?
"Really? Oh dear. Fuck you! How strange. I wonder why I don't
remember?"
"There!" Ukyo glared at her. "You just said it again!"
I'm not positive on the details of Tourette's but don't they realize
they're saying it?
"Thrown...." Ukyo's train of thought derailed, spinning around a
hundred and eighty degrees and landing with all of its wheels on the
track. "Thrown out? Of the Tendos?" His engagement to Akane ended,
forcing him out into the cold... right into the waiting arms of his
eternally faithful cute fiancee.
That bitch who got him thrown out in the first place. . .
"That poor girl out there is suffering from Tourette's
Syndrome."
Heh.
Kasumi flashed a clandestine smile at her father. "Poor girl."
"Indeed." Soun nodded, with sympathy in his eyes.
Staring at the two of them for a moment, Ranma shrugged and went
back to his food. Sometimes he was almost glad that he had no idea what
was going on.
THE END
Thanks go to Megane 6.7 for looking over a (very) incomplete
version of this, and to the FFIRC for the semi-weekly Writing Hours
during which much of this was completed. As you've probably noticed,
this isn't my usual fare. This was as unusual for me to write as it
probably was for you to read. :) Liked it or hated it, if you've read
the whole thing I'd like to hear anything you have to say.
I'm not sure what to think, actually. I'm fairly sure that even if
Kasumi didn't realize she was swearing... she would know she had
Tourettes- hence the pills. She isn't _that_ oblivious. I understand
the Japanese inclination to hide imperfection, or whatever, but as
we've seen with the series- this family is really laid back and
accepting. If not that, they would be used to public reaction around
Kasumi and would shield her from it, i.e. keep her at home, or keep
others away - keep Ukyou in the room with Tendo in stead of Kasumi...
As for the humor, well, I only really laughed at the end when Kasumi
came to the wrong conclusion about Ukyou.
Warr
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- The Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland