Drumroll, please! And I quote from the author's notes:
"Also, if you read this expecting accurate canon characterization
and such, I reserve the right to mock you openly."
THEY'RE OFF CANON? BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA!!! AAHAHAHAHAA!!! OH, GOD! OHHH, GOD!
THAT'S JUST TOO MUCH!! (rolls around on the floor laughing and coughing up
spittle)
...okay, that was immature. But fun. ^_^ Everybody needs to cut loose once in
awhile, which is why I wrote this in the first place. Now for the *real*
responses:
First thing, Belldandy sounds too much like Jeanie from "I Dream of Jeanie." I
can't see her calling Keiichi "Master" or something like that. And, why
couldn't
you use Urd instead of Bell-chan? Isn't love, sex, and bondage right up her
alley?
Even putting aside the 'It's an elseworlds so they're all kind of different'
issue... because if I used Urd, it wouldn't be the story I wanted to write. It
CAN be done, and would probably be more 'appropriate' but that's too expected.
Too obvious. I set out to write a naughty, absurd story involving Belldandy as
a nymphomaniac. The odd thing is that in #2 (draft available on my website),
Urd's rejected love and romance and is kind of the opposite. Go fig, eh?
I'm going to fanfic hell for this, aren't I? Well, I'm in good company. Scoot
over, Gaffney, I want the window seat...
Second thing is Keiichi is far, far, far shier than you've made him out to be,
and I don't think he'd say he wanted a sex slave right out. If he wanted
Umm... he doesn't want one. He was making fun of Ootaki's chauvanism when he
said that. He wants the precise opposite of one, he wants a storybook romance
involving chocolate and flowers and candlelight and so on. I hope I made this
clear enough that it was all just a big misunderstanding.
something like that, I would have say in a round-about way. Tentatively, and
with more loopholes than a typical tax bill going through the House of
Representatives.
Heh! Cute.
Finally, it looks like you're rushing the pace, causing the action to set up
in
a bang-bang style that tired me out and maybe a little too fast for a romantic
lemon comedy.
Oh, I know. It's intense and fast and slams you upside the head with a crazy
situation without giving one pause for breathing. That's exactly what I was
shooting for; wild spoof style like my earlier work. Breakneck pacing that
breaks necks. Hey, I know it's not to everybody's tastes. Neither is tungsten.
Otherwise, it's a pretty good fic as it stands.
Thanks!