Just Wishful Thinking
By Douglas Helm and "Tuxedo" Will Wolfshohl.
Those characters that are original and the story "Just Wishful Thinking"
are copyrighted (c) 2000 by Douglas Helm and Will Wolfshohl.
This story and our other Sailor Moon stories reside at
http://rivendell.fortunecity.com/traveller/861/
Send comments to: Douglas Helm (
dhelm@log.on.ca) or
"Tuxedo" Will (
wwolfshohl@logicon.com)
Chapter 2 - Family
When Chiba Usagi awoke from unconsciousness, she could hear low voices.
<One of them is Ami,> she concluded, <And the other one is...
Chibi-Usa.> But the child sounded very upset. Carefully she opened her
eyes to find herself where she had awakened that morning. <Kami-sama,
it's all real!> She started to lift her head but winced. "Ow..."
"See Chibi-Usa-chan?" Ami was saying, "She's awake." Chibi-Usa, who had
been standing at the foot of the bed with her head lowered, looked up,
right into her mother's eyes.
A wave of guilt crashed over Usagi as she realized that Chibi-Usa had
not been playing games. <You should've known better!> Usagi chided
herself. "I'm okay, Chibi-Usa-chan, Momo-chan. Come here." Both six year
olds didn't waste any time; they scrambled over the edge of the bed and
down its length. She hugged her children. <Mine at least for now,> she
decided as they hugged her.
"Gomen nasai, Okaa-san," Chibi-Usa apologized sadly as she snuggled
against her mother.
<They're younger; no more than six,> Usagi thought. "It isn't your fault
Usagi," she paused and cleared her throat not used to her slightly lower
voice, "Mommy... Mommy was confused. I'm sorry for yelling at you like
that. Gomen."
"Did ya have a bad dream, Mommy?" Momoko questioned.
"No, sweetheart. I thought Chibi-Usa had been bad. I was wrong." She
regarded both her children and smiled. "You both were very good. And
very quiet too."
"Can we have pancakes?" Chibi-Usa asked hopefully.
Usagi was about to say that Chibi-Usa had had pancakes the day before
but squashed that. <Maybe they didn't.> She couldn't remember when she
thought about it. "Hai. Why don't you go and watch television while
Mommy gets dressed." <Why am I talking like this?> It certainly wasn't
her normal speech pattern.
"Hai!" Chibi-Usa grinned and scrambled off of the bed and out of the
room.
Momoko, however, stayed for a moment and said, "You okay?"
"Hai," Usagi replied before kissing Momoko on the forehead. <This seems
so strange, and yet natural.> She blinked as the little girl reached up,
traced a crescent moon on Usagi's forehead, and then gave the spot a
kiss before bouncing from the bed. After her daughter had left, Usagi
turned her attention to her friend and blinked. <Ami's younger than I
am?!> She had been expecting to see an adult version of Ami but her
friend looked very much as she had the last time Usagi had seen her.
"Are you really all right, Usagi-san?" Ami asked as she came around to
sit on the edge of the bed beside the blonde.
"Hai, I just felt a little dizzy. It's gone now," Usagi replied and then
added, "I'm sorry to bother you, Ami-chan. I know you're busy with
school." Something tickled at the back of her mind so she asked, "How'd
you get here so fast? It can't be that long since I called you."
"No, it wasn't, but then I can move faster in my Senshi form," Ami
explained while tapping some keys on her minicomputer. Usagi hadn't even
seen her friend take it out. "Everything appears to be normal, but I'd
take it slow for the next few hours." Usagi nodded a little. "You did
get a bump on the head but it's not too serious. No concussion."
"Thanks Ami-chan," Usagi said, "Would you like to stay for breakfast?"
"If it wouldn't been too much trouble, Usagi-san," Ami replied, "Mom has
already gone to work."
"Not a problem, I should get..." Usagi was cut off by a crash from the
living room.
"Too late," Ami said with a grin.
- -
As it turned out, the crash had not been anything significant. Some of
Mamoru's thicker books had been accidentally knocked over. As they were
picking them up, Usagi had begun to wonder where Mamoru was. She was
just about to break down and ask one of the girls when the front door
opened.
Usagi felt her heart start to race a little as Mamoru entered the
apartment. He seemed sweaty and was dressed in his jogging clothes but
to Usagi, he was the most beautiful sight in the entire world. Vaguely,
one part of her mind pointed out that she was now a little higher on him
than she typically was.
"Daddy!" both Chibi-Usa and Momoko shouted. They dropped the books they
had been picking up and ran towards Mamoru who bent down and scooped
them up. Usagi thought she was almost floating as she walked across the
room.
"Did you have a good run?"
"Hai, Usako," Mamoru answered while leaning forward and giving her a
kiss.
"Daddy, play with us!" Chibi-Usa demanded.
"But Mommy's gonna make us pancakes," Momoko whined. She always helped
her mommy in the kitchen. "'N' Daddy's stinky," she added while
wrinkling her nose up.
Mamoru frowned slightly and said, "Momoko, that's rude." The little girl
murmured an apology. "That's all right... I do need a shower so I can't
play with you right now, Chibi-Usa-chan."
"Why don't you help Ami-chan with these books?" Usagi suggested.
"Okay," Chibi-Usa agreed but she didn't sound too enthusiastic about it.
"And if you're going to help me, Musume," Usagi told Momoko, "We need to
get dressed, ne?" Momoko nodded and headed for her bedroom.
- -
Left alone washing the breakfast dishes, Usagi could feel the panic and
fear return. Outwardly, she appeared calm and content. Inwardly though,
she was scared stiff. She wanted to wail and run to Mamoru and let him
handle the problem. <But this isn't even my Mamoru.> She could feel love
for him. All of the same emotions that she had connected with Mamoru
were still there but there was a subtle difference that she couldn't
quite piece together.
How would Ami handle this? <Logically,> Usagi thought sourly, <But I'm
not logical!> She was emotional and her heart told her that if she
started acting too strangely, she'd end up hurting more people. <I
really blew it this morning.> Although Chibi-Usa had seemed to have
forgiven her, there were people, very important people, counting on her
to figure out what was going on.
<Ami's fifteen... So will the others be fifteen too?> Usagi couldn't see
why not. <Are we fighting a new enemy?> She had kept her ears open for
some indication but neither Ami nor Mamoru mentioned anything. The girls
had been more intent on talking about the anime program they had been
watching on television that morning. <I know the girls are both six. So
that means...> She felt her face heat up as she blushed. <Me and Mamoru,
at sixteen?!>
"Mommy?" Usagi nearly jumped out of her skin at the voice. Turning, she
saw that it was Momoko looking at her. "You not gonna fall down again,
ne?"
"No," Usagi replied and gave her daughter a reassuring smile, "I was
just thinking. Did you want something, Momo-chan?"
"Can I have another drink please, Okaa-san?"
"What would you like?"
"Milk please," Momoko replied. When Usagi refilled her glass, she added,
"Arigato," before turning and leaving the small kitchen.
<I know that we fold the bed away when the girls get dressed in the
morning.> Usagi at first had been puzzled why they just didn't use two
futons instead of the overly large fold-out couch. Now that she thought
about it though, the couch served a dual purpose. Not only was it a bed
but also it was a place for the girls to sit if they liked and thereby
saved space.
<I wonder who's so organized?> Usagi thought as she considered that
while there were the few odd toys scattered about the room, most of them
had been in a toy box; while the room hadn't been completely neat, it
had at least been organized chaos. <And I'm older than Mamoru.> She had
found that out when Chibi-Usa had asked her father.
<I nearly blew it when Luna came in and started talking in front of
Momoko.> It had taken all of her will to stop from reacting surprised.
<I can't even believe I managed not to make that much of a mess,> she
thought as she looked around the kitchen. She felt a little pride in
that fact. Typically, any of her cooking adventures ended with the
kitchen looking like a cyclone had hit it.
<Okay, so what do I do?> Her mind worried about the other Chibi-Usa and
Momoko. Were they okay? What were they doing? <If anything happens to
them, Mom'll kill me.> After finishing her task, Usagi wiped her hands
and entered the small living room to find Mamoru sitting on the floor
with Chibi-Usa and Momoko playing some type of pretend game. She felt
herself return the smile that he gave her. <He's so kawaii...> She gave
a little sigh of contentment. Despite the strange situation she found
herself in, Usagi still felt content.
"Mommy, come 'n' play," Chibi-Usa requested.
"All right," Usagi agreed before moving to sit on the floor with her
family.
- -
"Hmmm... This is nice," Usagi murmured as she curled up on the couch
beside Mamoru. "What are the girls doing?" It was nearly time for lunch.
"Playing I think," Mamoru said as he absently surfed the channels on the
television. "Tomorrow's Monday." The serious nature of his tone made
Usagi push herself up to look at him. "Are you sure about this, Usako?"
"Hai," Usagi replied, "You deserve that promotion. You worked hard." She
reached out and cupped his chin. Drawing closer, she kissed him and
added, "I know you're worried but this is something we've wanted, ne?"
<Where the heck is this coming from?!?> It was like she had thought this
before but yet, she couldn't ever remember having this discussion with
him.
"Hai," Mamoru replied and then wrapped his arm around her to pull her in
for another kiss that lasted a long moment. "You're so good, Usako.
Looking after the girls can't be easy and I want to help out."
"You worked hard," Usagi stated again with confidence. She felt herself
starting to sink deep into those eyes the way she remembered doing when
suddenly the spell was broken by both children running out and hopping
onto the couch with their parents. Usagi was not amused.
- -
She wished she could feel the same excitement the girls were obviously
feeling as they drove towards the Tsukino home about two that afternoon.
There were too many questions running around in her mind. <What's Shingo
going to be like?> Was he older, or the same age as before? <Does my dad
still think Mamoru's no good?> Usagi was suddenly petrified by the
thought of her father's possible feelings about her husband. <He can't
have been happy when I told them I was pregnant.>
"Girls," Luna chided, cutting into Usagi's thoughts, "Settle down this
minute!" Usagi felt herself smirking at Luna's tone.
"Aw Luna..." Chibi-Usa whined.
"I know you're excited, Chibi-Usa-chan," Luna replied, "But you're
starting to shout."
"Gomen."
"That's all right," Luna said pleasantly. As she continued talking with
the children, Usagi couldn't help but smile.
<Luna's sure good with them,> she thought, <I wonder what it's like
growing up with Luna always around?> She had started relaxing. After
another few moments, the Tsukino home came into sight and Usagi felt the
fear starting to build inside her. <Stop being such a baby!> she told
herself. <This is your parents, not some evil enemy.> She was starting
to get annoyed with herself. <You're fifteen and Sailor Moon. You can
certainly handle any trouble.>
Once they were pulled up along the curb, Mamoru said, "Minna, I'll drop
you off and then go park the car."
"Right," Usagi chirped. Unfastening her seatbelt, she got out and then
folded down the seat so that the girls could climb out. "Wait for me!"
she said sternly when both girls looked like they were going to run to
the front door. Chibi-Usa and Momoko shifted from foot to foot
impatiently as Usagi got the packages they had brought out of the trunk
of the car. "All right, girls, let's go."
No sooner had she said that then both girls took off towards the house
at a dead run. She looked at Mamoru who gave her a large grin. "Close
the door."
"Oh yeah," Usagi said and gave him a sheepish grin. Pushing the door
shut, she turned around to see that the front door of the house was open
now. <Wow, Mom does look older.> It was much but it was noticeable. As
she approached the house, she could hear Chibi-Usa and Momoko talking
excitedly.
"Then Mommy fell down," Chibi-Usa remarked, "It was really scary,
Obaa-san."
"Don't worry. I was just a little dizzy, Mom," Usagi stuttered out as
her mother gave her a concerned look.
"Yeah and Mommy made pancakes, Obaa-san," Momoko added, "They were
really good."
"Who do I hear out there?" Kenji's voice came from within the house.
"OJII-SAN!" both children squealed happily and bounded past their
grandmother and into the house to where their grandfather was waiting.
"Are you sure you're okay, Usagi-chan?"
"Hai," Usagi replied, "I just got a little dizzy." Usagi gave her a
mother a hug and added, "I brought dessert, Mom." Ikuko gave her a
slightly annoyed look before grinning. "Well, I am helping cook, ne?"
Usagi couldn't help but giggle. <I can't believe this.>
Ikuko smiled then, "I'm just lucky you didn't show up with supper like
the last time." Before Usagi could think of something suitably safe to
respond with, Ikuko continued, "Come in, Musume. Mamoru's parking the
car, ne?" Usagi nodded and stepped into the house.
"Where's Shingo?" Usagi asked. <I want to see what he looks like.>
"He isn't here yet," Ikuko replied and then lowering her voice added,
"And he's bringing a `friendī with him, Usagi-chan, so don't tease him
so much."
<Not Mika?> Usagi felt a little saddened by that thought, <I always
thought they made a great couple.> "Oh?"
Instead of elaborating, much to Usagi's annoyance, her mother turned and
called up the stairs, "Mako-chan, Usagi's here!"
Usagi was just starting to wonder what Makoto was doing at her parents'
house when her fifteen year old friend bounded down the stairs.
"Onee-chan!" Makoto called happily and running over, gave her a crushing
hug.
"Konnichiwa Mako-chan," Usagi responded, "How are you?" <Onee-chan???>
"Good, Onee-chan," Makoto replied. She looked like she was going to say
more but Chibi-Usa and Momoko saw her.
"Mako-obachan!" Momoko squeaked happily and running, reached up. When
Makoto bent down, the child gave the teen a large hug.
Chibi-Usa walked over, greeted, "Konnichiwa Mako-obachan," gave her aunt
a hug, and then wandered back to where her grandfather was. That's when
the door opened and Mamoru came in.
"Konnichiwa!" he called.
"Hello Mamoru-kun," Makoto replied. Much to Usagi's relief, Kenji
greeted Mamoru with warmth and soon they disappeared into the living
room.
"Mako-chan, would you go to the store for me?" Ikuko asked.
"Hai, Mom. What do you need?"
<Don't faint!> Usagi told herself sternly, <I thought I had everything
sorted out.> But this was a surprise. "Would you like me to come with
you?" Usagi asked.
"Would you?" Makoto asked. She seemed like she wanted to talk.
"Hai. Momoko, Chibi-Usa, you be good for your sobo."
"Hai!" both children chorused.
"Come on, Chibi-Usa-chan, let's go play," Momoko suggested.
"Yeah!" Chibi-Usa agreed. Usagi let herself sigh a little. It was going
to take a lot more work to figure everything out.
- -
As it turned out, Makoto did want to talk, in particular about a boy she
had met. "I really like him, Onee-chan," she gushed, "And I think he
likes me..."
"What's the problem then?" Usagi asked. <Please let it be something I
can handle.> She didn't know if she really wanted to know but Makoto was
obviously looking towards her for advice. She realized that Makoto
hadn't given an answer. "Mako-chan, I don't mean to pry."
"Please don't be mad but, you are the problem." Usagi blinked. "Gomen, I
didn't mean it that way, Onee-chan," Makoto apologized with such honesty
that Usagi's was surprised. "It's just... Dad doesn't really trust him.
I think he thinks it's like you and Mamoru." Makoto's face colored
although Usagi couldn't decide if it was from anger or embarrassment.
"And you want me to talk to him, ne?" Usagi doubted she could say
anything to change her father's mind.
"No..." Makoto said slowly, "Maybe to Mom though."
"Mom?"
"Yeah, I think Dad believes me when I tell him that we're just going to
a movie or somethin'. But Mom gives me the third degree if I'm late."
Makoto sighed a little and looked at Usagi hopefully, "Onee-chan, I know
Dad is worried about me. But I don't know what to do."
<What do I do?> Usagi thought desperately, <I'm just trying to figure
out what's going on. I don't know all the stuff that went on before.> As
silence dragged out, Makoto seemed to grow even glummer. <What would I
do?> She'd likely sulk and whine to her friends. This brought a smile to
Usagi's face. <Okay so I can't see Makoto doing that.> After another few
moments, she decided, "Mako-chan, just talk to Mom and don't lie. I
don't think it's that she doesn't trust you. I think she just worries
about you." Smiling even more, she continued, "And that's a mother's
privilege."
Makoto smiled at her then. "I'm really lucky to have you, Onee-chan."
"I'm lucky too," Usagi replied and meant it.
By the time they arrived back at the Tsukino home, Shingo had made his
appearance. Usagi was only mildly surprised to see that Shingo was about
six years older, perhaps sixteen, much taller, and more muscular;
although she was mildly disappointed that Shingo's "friend" was not Mika
but another girl that she recognized from her junior high school.
Momoko sulked a little when she was firmly told she could not help with
supper; it didn't last long and soon, she, Chibi-Usa, and Makoto were
quietly playing.
- -
<Okay so he isn't dating her. It's not as if she isn't a nice girl,>
Usagi thought to herself as she helped her mother carry food from the
kitchen to the dining room. <But you'd think I had just told him he'd be
put in front of a firing squad by the way he reacted. I just said I
thought that she made a nice girlfriend.> Grinning, she then thought,
<Mika would be way too young for him now.>
Her one assumption had been right though -- Shingo still lived at home.
This she gleaned by the sounds of Makoto's commentary. Usagi found
herself giggling when the thought occurred to her that Makoto and Shingo
sounded surprisingly like she and Shingo typically did.
"Chibi-Usa, Momoko, come sit at the table now," she called out as the
last of the food was placed on the table.
"'Kay!" Chibi-Usa chirped, "Come on, Momo-chan!"
<Chibi-Usa listens to me,> Usagi thought, <And Dad gets along great with
Mamoru.> Makoto's addition to her family had been a bit surprising
although Usagi was happy for it. As they sat down at the table, she felt
pride in her children and her husband. <Now just let me get through this
supper without goofing up!> Usagi prayed, <Please Kami-sama.>
- -
The entrance hall of the Tsukino home was engulfed in a piteous wail;
Usagi for her part tried to ignore it as she put Chibi-Usa's shoes on.
<Did I ever do this?> Usagi thought as. Thankfully, her father was
helping her. <You'd think we were killing her or something.>
"Now, Chibi-Usa-chan," Kenji began gently while firmly doing up one
shoe, "You had a good visit, ne?" Chibi-Usa stopped her wailing to nod
before picking up where she left off. "But now, it's time to go home
and..."
"BUT I DON'T WANNA GO, OJII-SAN!" Chibi-Usa howled at the top of her
lungs.
"Momoko, come and get your shoes on," Mamoru commanded. His daughter did
not come out of the living room though.
"But I'm watchin' TV, Daddy!" Momoko shouted back.
"Momoko, sweetheart, it's time to go home," Ikuko said as she walked
into the living room.
"Usagi-chan," Usagi said softly, "Don't you want to hear a bedtime
story?" Chibi-Usa stopped her protests, sniffled, and looked
questioningly at Usagi. "Mommy or Daddy can't read you a story if you
aren't in your own bed."
"Can I have two stories, Mommy?" Chibi-Usa questioned.
"No, one story," Usagi stated firmly. Chibi-Usa pouted a little so she
added, "And if we get home in time, maybe I'll make you a snack."
"Momoko!" Chibi-Usa shouted, "Hurry Up!" Momoko came running out of the
living room and down the hallway. Usagi stifled the giggle that wanted
to creep out as Mamoru frowned. She remembered her mother using the same
ploy successfully when she was little.
"Bye Ojii-san, Obaa-san," Chibi-Usa chirped, "Bye Mako-obachan!
Shingo-ojichan!" With that, she tried to pull her mother out of the
door.
"Hold on. I have to get my shoes on, Chibi-Usa-chan," Usagi said while
giggling.
"Well, hurry up!" Chibi-Usa huffed out.
"Be nice," Momoko admonished.
"You, get your shoes on," Mamoru directed. His daughter grumbled
something but did as she was told. "Don't speak to your mother that way,
young lady."
"Gomen nasai, Okaa-san," Chibi-Usa said softly with her head bowed.
"That's all right, Chibi-Usa-chan," Usagi declared with a grin while
rumpling her daughter's hair.
- -
As Usagi lay in bed that night, she glanced over at her husband. <Like a
little boy... That's so true.> She had once told Luna that Mamoru looked
like a little boy when he slept. <What do I do, Mamo-chan?> she thought,
<I don't know and I wish I could tell you.> Things had not been bad so
far but Usagi still felt uncomfortable. <Do I risk using the
Ginzuishou?> She didn't know what had happened though and to find that
out, she would have to confide in someone; she just didn't know who.
Carefully sliding from the bed, she left the bedroom and walked to the
girls' room. There in the darkness, she saw the sleeping forms of two
little girls. Chibi-Usa and Momoko each held a stuffed animal. <I can't
let them down,> Usagi thought, <They're counting on me.>
"Something wrong?" came Mamoru's soft voice. He wrapped his arms
comfortingly around her waist.
"No, Mamo-chan," Usagi replied softly and allowed herself to lean back
against him. "I was just thinking what a wonderful day we had."
"Hai, it was," Mamoru agreed, "Come to bed, Usako. It's late and the
girls have school tomorrow."
"I'll be there in a second," Usagi remarked. When he let her go, she
felt a little pang of loss. He lingered though, as if reluctant to leave
her. Turning, she kissed him and said, "I'll be right there." He kissed
her back and turned back towards the bedroom. Slipping into the
bathroom, Usagi turned on the light and blinked at the brightness.
Peering at herself in the mirror, she thought about her situation and
finally declared softly, "If this is who I am, then I'll be her." <At
least, until I can get home.>
End of Chapter 2
Coming next in Chapter 3 - The Past