At 05:51 PM 9/29/00, you wrote:

*Insert Standard Disclaimer here*

FWIW, since you haven't labelled your fic, we don't know what that standard disclaimer is.

I'm going to try to not nitpick grammar, unless it's particularly egregious.

The Gate Keeper
Chapter One: The Deal
By Robert Reynolds


        Cerubus was bored out of his mind.  It had been some six hundred years since he was last allowed to visit the mortal realm.  Being the Gatekeeper for Hades was rather dull work now that Heaven and Hell were getting all the followers.  Mortals could be so picky about where they spend the rest of eternity.   Cerubus would have walked out on his post three hundred years ago but he made a vow to Hades that he would stand watch at the gates in exchange for Immortality.  What a stupid deal, It was fun for the first two hundred years but after that it got dull.

        Cerubus watched as that stupid three headed dog walked around the tower again.   Why did everyone think that "HE" was that stupid mutt?  Crazy Greeks, ever since Apollo told that little lie about the dog everyone thinks they can sneak in and out of the underworld without fighting with that damn dog.

If I interpret you right here, there'd be little mistaking; the "stupid three-headed dog" is named Cerberus, and the character would probably know him as Kerberos (in the appropriate Greek characters, of course, which don't come out in ASCII ;).

They forget that Cerubus was a powerful Shaman in his tribe and now he knows so much about magical spells he was able to raise skeletons from the ground.

Keep careful track of tenses here.

 He could even control the very weather itself.   Then again Cerubus was also lonely.  Hades as well as immortality promised him a wife.

Consider "As well as immortality, Hades had promised him a wife.".

  What a liar Hades was.  Cerubus put his hands back into the black robes he always wore and pulled out a small loaf of bread and a piece of dried meat and started to eat as he sat down on the floor of the tower.

I like this commentary on the nature of Hades' "immortality". ;)

        Cerubus snapped his fingers as he thought of an Idea of how he could visit the Mortal world.

No need for capitalization.

The dog started to bark at one of the angels that lived in Heaven.   The angel looked at the three-headed dog and smiled waving it away without fear.  Cerubus stood up from the spot in the floor where he was sitting to eat and tossed the bread at the dog hitting it in the center head.

This is a little misdirecting.  You might want to make it more clear that the angel is approaching Hades; the first sentence implies that he's just wandering around Heaven provoking ancient Greek kunoi.

        "Why hast thou come to this place Angel?", Cerubus called down to the visitor.  The Angel smiled and spread its wings and took off to join Cerubus in the top of the tower.  Cerubus moved back to let the Angel land as he reached into his robes and pulled out a dagger.  "Answer me, thy master hath no reign here."

        "I come in peace dear friend", The angel answered in a sweet melodic tone.
If Cerubus were mortal again he would have fallen to his knees from the calming effect of that voice.  The angel folded its white wings behind its back and found a chair to sit in.  Cerubus was getting angry with his Visitor.  Not even Cerubus sat in a chair he felt that he was unworthy of sitting in a chair.

He felt that who was unworthy of sitting in a chair?  If it's Cerubus who's unworthy, then a) why is he angry, and b) why does he have a chair around?  If it's the angel, you should make this more clear.

        "Why hast thou come?  Thy master is not my master", Cerubus growled as the angel sat there smiling as Cerubus started to pull some more things from his robes.  One day Cerubus thought I

One day, Cerubus thought, I...

would have to try to empty this robe of all this junk.  "Answer me foul Creature!"
        "I have come to see if you would like to join my master.  After all Hades is not as full as it once was.", The Angel smiled as it pulled a small parchment from a small sack.  "My master can grant you anything your heart wants Cerubus, Hades cannot."
        "Thy Master is a lair.  He would try to take my immortality from me.  He has told me so himself. I refuse to become a normal human again.  I have lived to long to just give up and die like some coward."
        "MY MASTER IS NO LAIR"; the Angel stood up and held out the parchment for Cerubus to look at.  Cerubus took the paper and said a word causing it to burst into flames.  The Angel's eyes narrowed as it looked at Cerubus.  "Why did you do that?"

Liar, in both places.  Unless you mean he's a place for beasts to live.

        "Same reason I will turn thee to stone if thou refuse to depart under thy own power."
        "You don't have the power to do that Cerubus I have meet you before three hundred years ago you could hardly cast that simple fire spell", The Angel smiled as it reached into the bag for another paper.  Cerubus was getting annoyed with his visitor and it was starting to show on his face.
        "What was once living from flesh and bone NOW BECOME AS STONE!", Cerubus yelled as the angel looked at him in shock as its body started to turn into a smooth marble form.  Cerubus reached into his robes and pulled out a mace with a large metallic head on the top of the shaft.  The Angel's face was not twisted with pain as its body slowly turned into a statue.  The face twisted into

It wasn't?

a Horrifying mockery of its former beauty showing great pain as the spell finished turning the Angel into a statue.  Cerubus shattered the statue with his mace and tossed the statues head off the Tower nearly hitting the three headed dog in the process.

                                        *************
        Cerubus walked to the gates of the Dark Castle of Hades with a slight grin on his face he could hear the ancient guards talking about how happy Cerubus looked.

Please clarify this sentence.  He would have had a slight grin on his face if he could have heard them?

  Must be some trouble if Cerubus is smiling like that.  Cerubus stopped in front of the gates looked at the little demon watching the gates of the castle keep.
        "Tell our Master that I wish to see him", Cerubus warmly told the demon.
The Demon looked at Cerubus and shuddered to think what this Immortal human could do to him if he did not listen to him.  The demon ran inside the castle as fast as its little legs would carry it.  A few minutes later a human wearing Dark heavy Armor walked to the Gates.  Cerubus bowed slightly

Hades isn't human.  Perhaps just "a man wearing dark, heavy armor"?

to show respect for Lord Hades.  Hades stood and looked at Cerubus as the little demon came crawling back out to take his place at the gate once more.
        "Why are you here Cerubus?", Hades voice boomed.  Cerubus was unimpressed by his voice now after nine hundred years of service.  Hades saw the smile on the face of Cerubus.

Seems a little short, especially considering that the Greek gods went out of style about seventeen hundred years ago.

        "My Lord, I want to visit the mortal world.  I want a bride."; Cerubus turned a slight shade of red when he said the word bride.  Hades looked at him and wondered if that what he was really after.
        "How long are you going to look for one Cerubus?"
        "I don't know my lord, as long as it takes to find a bride who will want to be immortal with me. "
        "Cerubus you have served me for nine hundred years, I will allow you at least two hundred years to find a bride to be with you.  You may go if you wish"
        "Thank you Lord Hades"

This seems a little improbable to me; the Hades from Greek myths simply wouldn't be this generous, and in fact would probably require Cerubus to participate in several trials in order to let him into the surface world, the length of time allotted being proportional to how well Cerubus performed in the trials.

While it is a minor point, it does bring Hades significantly out of character, and sets a precedent that you might not want to set.

        Cerubus bowed slightly as Hades turned away from him and walked back inside the castle.  The demons looked at one another and turned back to their own works.  Cerubus smiled and walked to the entrance of the Underworld.
Charron was giving him a hard time as he crossed on the ferry.  Cerubus was happy he would get to see what was on the surface world and find himself a bride and see what new magic could be learned.

This feels gratuitous.  Why is Charon giving him a hard time?

                                        ************
        "Ranma Satome!", a woman's voice could be heard screaming.  A young man ran down the street wearing a red shirt and green pants with a rather mean looking woman waving a giant spatula around as it if that was a weapon.
Just when the boy thought he was safe another young woman wearing a school outfit turned around the corner to catch the young boy and pulled him down.

        "Ranma no Baka!"  The second girl screamed into the ear of Ranma.  The first girl just hit him in the head with her spatula.   Ranma sat there wondering what he had done this time to get these two mad at him.  Akane was just mad he would not eat her cooking and with that poison who could blame him?  There was loud boom from behind them in the park, as a large doorway seemed to just appear out of thin air.

Segue here.  The last line of the paragraph has nothing to do with the rest of it.

        Cerubus walked out of the doorway wondering where he was, IT was certainly bright wherever he was.  IT had been two hundred years ago when he last saw the sun.    The trio stood there and looked at this strange man as he stood there looking at the trees and the birds.  He was dressed in strange black robes and wore wire frame glasses that sat at the tip of his nose.  He had a slight smile on his face as he took a deep breath.

        Cerubus pulled out a map from his robe and started to look at it when the two girls shoved Ranma towards him.  Ranma slowly walked up to the man and waved his hands in his face to get his attention.  Cerubus looked up at the young man and smiled.
        "Who are you", Ranma asked with a look in his eyes trying to figure out if this was the guy who taught Moose to hide all that stuff in his robes too.
        "Fetara cerotais combkiena?", The man replied to Ranma.  Ranma looked at him and almost face faulted.  The man snapped his fingers as he pulled a book from his robes and read a few lines out of it and looked at Ranma .
        "Where is this place",  the man spoke clearly so Ranma would understand him.

These two lines are either redundant or unclear.  Is the book one of magic, or is it a phrasebook?  If the first, it should be made clear how the magic works, although you can leave out the fact that it's magic; if the second, then you should either omit the bit about his reading a few lines out of it, or make it clear that he's practicing to himself before he actually says the words to Ranma.

Ranma was suprised that this weird man couls speak japanse so well after talking to him in what sounded like he was speaking how Kuno The Blue Blunder would after he kicked his butt.

Um, what?

All in all, an interesting idea, and one I'm looking forward to seeing more of.  There are some grammar and spelling questions, and I have a little trouble with some of the concepts you're using (especially your depiction of Hades), but I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with it.

-EDG