Subject: [FFML] Re: [FFML][Fanfic][R1/2] Quantum Destinies 13
From: "DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net>
Date: 9/23/2000, 1:33 AM
To: "Steven Thesken" <sthesken@earthlink.net>
CC: <ffml@fanfic.com>

Continuing:


Ghost Sweeper Manami Minami

Cute. It's odd how you can have a recurring charcter that is instrumental to
the plot in mulitiple chapters and still neglect to give their full name.

 frowned a bit as she concentrated upon her
reflection in her bedroom mirror.  Today was an important day for her,
her first day attending classes at the Imperial Academy, so she wanted
to present just the right image.  She stood nude,

Well, that's one way to go about it, at least as far as guys are concerned
:)

 save for a slender
pair of pale pink panties, contemplating her appearance with mild
distaste.  The few extra kilograms of mass she carried upon her frame
had long distressed her, but they stubbornly resisted diets and her
occasional short-lived efforts at exercise.

Yeah. She's no exercise nut. Calls most fighting 'Martial Arts Crap' and is
quite content to let magic play a role in her life.


If Minami would have taken the time to ask the average boy's honest
opinion of her appearance, then the young Ghost Sweeper might have been
surprised to hear herself called 'cute.'  She did not think of herself
that way and was often very critical of her visual appeal,

Like most women.

This tendency came to the fore most often whenever she was confused
with fellow Ghost Sweeper Reiko Mikami, who Minami (she disliked using
her first name at all) considered to be nothing more than a mercenary,
self-promoting relic past her prime.

And to her face too (Minami liked to live dangerously. ^_^)


On the other hand, Minami looked up to Ayaka Kisaragi, yet another
fellow Ghost Sweeper.

Sure, she was a lush of loose morals, but hey, guys dug chicks like that.

 Of course, this was despite her now being far
past her prime for such things as well, at least as far as a girl
Minami's age was concerned.  Why, Kisaragi-sensei was only just a few
years shy of thirty!

About time to retire to the old folks home then. :)

 That was ancient!  Still, regardless of that,
Ayaka was a woman who epitomized the image of a beautiful, ghostbusting
priestess in Minami's eyes.

Except when she was really trashed and would accidently banish herself when
trying to ward spirits. But hey, everyone was entitled to a few mistakes.


Having lived a life that revolved around magic, Minami possessed powers
capable of blasting a demon or other sort of evil denizen

'sorts of denizens' (sounds better to me)

 > when her own dedication and self-proclaimed perseverance at diets and
exercise had failed to give her the sexy body that she yearned to have,
she turned to magic.

Hey, I would too.


The young Ghost Sweeper's thoughts darkened.  If the boys training at
the Academy shared similar tendencies to those of their Institute
compatriots, then they were likely enamored of trim-bodied bimbos with
room-temperature IQ's.

And like most women don't like them big and stupid too. :)

 At the Institute, Minami's rivals for the boys
attentions had been the unfairly attractive, so-called 'magical girls'
that populated a portion of the female ranks there.

Hehehe. Yeah. I can see where she would feel outclassed my fuku clad high
schoolers.

While she knew
they were a publicity project on the part of the Institute, an attempt
to mainstream Mobius' activities in order to get more funding,

Attractive scantily clad young women do tend to make one less cautious about
the group that's backing them.

having
to compete with them for the boys attentions hurt.  Even her Gosunkugi
seemed to have some brain-dead bimbo or muscle-headed jock girl that he
liked better than her,

And wouldn't Akane like that little title given to her? :)

How could a bright and intelligent girl like herself, who was
admittedly somewhat less glamorous and gorgeous than some fuku-clad
superheroine with long legs, compete with the likes of a bimbo like
Sailor V?  It just wasn't fair, but at least there weren't any more of
her type around.  A team of Sailor Scouts would have sent Minami into a
state of deep depression.

Heh. Nice little joke.

If she closed her eyes and remembered, Minami could still hear the
unintentionally-cutting remarks from Rei, bubbling on endlessly about
her new fianc�, Tenchi Masaki.

Don't think I've seen that particular match up before.

Getting away from the Mobius Institute would be good for other reasons
as well.  Minami looked forward to the fact that, being the only Ghost
Sweeper in residence at the Imperial Academy (an older lady like
Kisaragi-sensei not counting),

And evidently non-affiliated Devil Hunters not counting either. Besides,
isn't Kisaragi supposed to be undercover?

remake her outward image.  Finding that book on a back shelf of the
Institute's library, detailing out all the ways and means of cosmetic
sorcery had been a gift from the heavens for her and her plans.

Heh. And now we'll discover how it is so many sorceresses tend to be
attractive and in good shape despite dedicating their lives to magic.


Enough standing around, thought Minami, quickly calling up the memory
of the spell from the recesses of her mind.  With her arms crossed
before her, she closed her eyes and began to chant, the tips of each of
her index fingers beginning to glow brightly with greenish-white light.

The 'nightlight' spell was one of Minami's favorites.


"In Benten's name, goddess of love and beauty,

Better than 'In Trampy's name, the goddess of hos and sluts' ^_^


 I summon the power to
me," she intoned.  The Ghost Sweeper lifted her hands, reaching above
herself as her chanting became more commanding in tone.  "Let my flesh
be as clay, that I shall craft by my will.  By Benten's grace, I bind
the power to my commands."

Nice wording on that.


Easy does it now, thought Minami, as her gaze swept up and down her
figure.  After all, it just wouldn't do to rush perfection, now would
it?  Despite being slightly overweight, she was already a cute girl,
but she wanted more.  She wanted to be more desirable than merely being
cute, and her magics were about to make it real for her

Cosmetic surgery without the surgeons.

.  She had been
carefully constructing the image she wished to become in her mind for
the last several days, and now she was being equally careful in molding
herself into that form.

Wouldn't do to make a third breast, nope nope nope.


Minami smiled joyously as her waist, hips, and thighs gradually
narrowed, each area of her lower torso losing centimeters off of their
respective circumferences.

Now all she needed was a set of balls and her hermaphrodite look would be
complete.

from being plumply cute into one that would have left many typical
teenaged boys totally bereft of their wits, especially if they ever
witnessed it unclothed like this.  A few more changes and then she
could finish the spell and lock it into place until the next sunrise.

Nice limitation on the spell.

crafting with her flesh.  She was rather proud of the fact that she was
getting better with this particular spell, and it showed in the smile
on her face as she studied her newly-enhanced figure.  She felt the tug
on her powers as her old shape sought to reestablish itself.  She could
not take too much longer, but she still had enough time to complete her
adjustments.

You just know this is going to backfire on her at some point.


Now for the eyes, and then I'm done, Minami thought with pleasure.  She
turned her attention to her face, grateful that nature had already
given her attractive features.  She was still uncertain enough of the
use of her skills with these magics that she did not care to risk
modifying the bone structures of her face.  That was a much more
delicate change than the changes

'change' and 'changes' too close together. I'd change the second to
'alterations'

to her figure, and, if she messed up,
then she

don't think the 'then' in neccesary

would have to begin the spell from scratch all over again.

Minami's eyes glowed slightly, the irises changing to an emerald green.
She experimented a little bit by adding some flecks of gold to the
coloring, staring closely into the reflecting glass.  She could not
wear her glasses during this part of the spell, so she was standing
quite close to the mirror.  She blinked at the sight of her newly
recolored eyes and nodded with satisfaction.

Pity she can't magically correct the eyesight as well.



The young Ghost Sweeper ran her hands through her hair, a playful smile
on her lips, deciding to leave it the rich red color nature had given
her.

I thought in an early chapter she touched it up for Gos's sake. Or is she
now deciding it doesn't need touching up?


"Great goddess of beauty who dwells amidst the heavens," Minami intoned
in a deep voice, her hands sweeping back and forth in front of her body
as her fingers went through mystical gestures with grace and certainty.
Waves of power emanated from her bare skin with each pass.  "I call
upon you to bless this work that I have wrought upon my own flesh, to
anoint your power upon me and seal it upon my form.

I wanna remain a hottie for a while.


There was a brief flash of white light, and then Minami sensed the
tugging on her powers abruptly release, as

not sure if you need that comma


The young Ghost Sweeper's smile returned briefly to a frown as an old
hurt reared up in the back of her mind, her hand briefly closing into a
dainty fist.  That insensitive, little jerk, Gosunkugi-baka, will see
just what he's missing when I start going out with cute guys at the
Imperial Academy, she grumbled.

Heh. Ranma better watch out, though Minami might be immune to the 'Ranma
Effect'

a date before too much longer.  And you'd better, she thought
venomously, if you know what's good for you.  A disturbing sort of
feminine laugh rose up from deep within Minami to fill her bedroom for
several long moments.

Ah, the classic disturbing anime laugh. Be very, very, wary.



"Well, it's a little small on me," Minami considered.  "But if I know
guys, a little extra up top won't hurt my chances at getting a date.

 As long as you don't turn too fast and accidentily knock them out, no.^_^

Maybe I'll just let them be their normal size when I have to recast the
spell tomorrow."  Studying herself once more in the mirror, she made a
mental note to pick up some more underwear, maybe also

'maybe also' sounds awkward. I think I'd drop 'also'

amount of calf to her eyes.  After her skirt was zipped up, she flopped
down into the chair at her desk and put on her socks, briefly running
her hands up her newly-trimmed calves with obvious delight as she did
so.  Realizing she was almost forgetting something,

'Realizing she had almost forgotten' sounds better to me, but it might be a
style thing.

she opened her desk
drawer and pulled out a small box.  Within it was revealed a platinum
and gold signet ring, engraved with the symbol of the Mobius Institute.
She studied it for several long moments before putting it on, noting
the subtle markings etched upon it to designate her status as a Ghost
Sweeper trainee.

Nice


She could have worn a pin, fastened on the collar of her uniform jacket
like most cadets did, but she preferred the ring.  It had the added
advantage of being functional as well as symbolic, a special
enchantment within it allowing her to transform her clothes into the
traditional robes of her calling whenever she so chose.

And convient too, all right.

She checked it over a second time to make doubly sure that
everything was there and also added a few small wands from her private
collection for good measure, just in case she needed some extra
firepower.  After all, a girl can't be too careful, she thought.

Not if she's within a mile of Ranma, no.


"Good morning, Manami-chan," her mother pleasantly greeted her upon her
arrival in the kitchen.  The matriarch of the Minami family was dressed
in her usual garb as she prepared the last of breakfast, the white and
red robes of a Shinto priestess.  A rustling of newspaper was heard
from the breakfast table, her father's version of a greeting.

How disturbingly normal. Emphasis on 'disturbing'. Something bad is about to
happen, of course.


"Good morning, Mother," said Minami brightly, her attitude dimmed only
slightly at hearing her first name being used.  Perhaps equally as
bothersome, her parents seemed to take no notice of the changes to her
appearance.

Heh. Cute


"Shrine priestess!"

"Holy nun!"

"Shrine priestess!"

"Holy nun!"

"You don't care anything about my feelings, you insensitive lout!  Take
that!"  There was a blast of yellow lightning from one side of the
house.

"You harpy from hell!  My father warned me about taking up with you!
Take this!"  Another gout of lightning, this time in a bright green,
briefly illuminated the other side of the house.

"I'll have you know that I had my pick of men when I was younger, you
ingrate!  Try some of this!"  Purple lightning flashed out through the
windows this time.

Hehehehe. Nice build up to show just how screwed up her famliy is.


                   ******************************

"Dean Fuyutsuki, might I have a moment of your time?"

The Dean turned around to see just who had addressed him, almost
instantly recognizing Cadet Kashuoh standing there before the boy bowed
briefly in greeting.  The three strikingly attractive young women with
him made this particular cadet rather hard to forget, even without the
catlike features they all had.

True. Not many other students have their own herem.


"Well, I am wondering if a rematch against Ohtori might be in order?"
asked Kinnosuke ingenuously.  "As a loyal cadet at this fine
institution, I feel obligated to see that the honor of the Imperial
Academy is restored."

And do something really horrible to Ranma in the process.


"That's true," admitted the Dean, still wondering where this was all
going.

"Then I wish to offer to you the services of my bodyguards for this
honorable endeavor," said Kinnosuke, smiling charmingly.  He gestured
at the three catgirls.  "Pick any one you want, and she'll be Ranma's
sparring partner."

Heh. Devious little plan. The perfect excuse for the girls to beat up Ranma.


Dean Fuyutsuki blinked, astonished at the thought of using a Genom
synthetic human, a replicant, as a sparring partner for Ranma.  But, in
fact,

I'd drop the 'in fact' as being uneccessary.



"I think Tiger would be the one best suited for this assignment,"

Hmm. Interesting choice.


"I thank you again for the loan of your bodyguard, Kashuoh-san," said
Dean Fuyutsuki.  A faint smile appeared on his face, and he found
himself to be looking forward much more to his meeting with Ranma.  The
catgirl offered up a number of wonderful opportunities.  Her enhanced
strength, speed, and physical durability would be perfect for a
sparring partner for the boy.

A pity the same can't be said about her 'cattiness' ^_^

 "Good day to you now."  He turned and
walked off, Tiger marching along behind him.

When they were once again alone,

'alone once again' flows better to me, but it might be just personal.

"I want him to know pain," Kinnosuke continued softly, "and Tiger will
administer that pain to him in carefully measured doses, all under the
guise of training him.  You see, I want him to grow stronger than he
now is, Lynx, and pain is an excellent teacher.  Defeating him now
would be too quick, too easy.  I want to savor the memory of his fall
for the rest of my life.  Saotome is enhanced, as I am, though my dear
great-grandfather chose to gift me with far superior abilities to those
offered by those inane fools who now run Project Phoenix.  I am faster,
and a more powerful warrior than he will ever become, despite his new
level of skill."

Oh? How did he do that? I thought there was only one kind of Phoenix
process.
Certainly makes him more dangerous, though.


After a moment spent admiring Lynx's features, he continued, "Her
upgraded status is also why I have chosen Nabiki Tendo.  Although she
is admittedly an inferior being when compared to my own abilities, she
is still a most exquisite woman, both intellectually and physically
superior to normal humans.  She will become my consort, the mother of
my future children, and I will be her undisputed lord and master.

Heh. I think Nabby might have something to say about that.

that will be.  I have chosen Ranma to be that opponent, and I will bide
my time and watch him until I judge him to be sufficiently skilled.
Then I will crush him, as well as any other of those sad and pathetic
pretenders to true eugenic supremacy.  When Ranma Saotome is utterly
and completely broken, then I will rightfully claim my beautiful prize
from over the remnants of his beaten body.

Heh. He's a nutcase, but he has a certain style. And I can respect that he
wants something more than an easy win.


"Thanks, Sakura," replied Akane, wiping her face gingerly.  She felt
the glow of her victory fading somewhat, but her body still seemed
charged with excitement right now.  Even so, Akane could hardly wait to
take a long soak in a nice hot bath.

With, Ranma. :)




"Thanks, Akane," said Sakura.  "I know we'll have a wonderful fight
with each other."  The two clasped hands with a firm grip.  It was a
gesture of mutual respect between warriors that other martial artists
at Furinkan used.

As opposed to the bitch slapping that usually went on at the Imperial
Academy



Nabiki noticed Ranma passing by her

Don't think you need 'her' there.

as he entered the campus while she
was conducting some business with a few of her lackeys, several
underclassmen wearing gray uniforms.  She departed from them after
giving out a few last orders.

And her lackies gave a hearty, 'Seig Heil!' in return.


"Care to explain what happened over the weekend, Ranma?" Nabiki asked
as she caught up to him in a few strides.  "I heard you lost your big
fight in under five minutes."  Not to mention the fact that you and
that pink-haired bimbo were doing the Kami knows what in the showers
and at your house, you womanizer, Nabiki thought angrily.

Good thing she didn't get the thinking and speaking bits confused. ^_^


"I didn't _lose_," Ranma growled.

Sure you did, you just didn't lose fair and square.



Standing off to one side, Kyosuke snuck glances at Yohko, glad that
they finally seemed to be on the road to making up.  The Devil Hunter
perplexed him at times, and he wished that she would not get so
jealous.

Sorry, Bub. Nature of the species.

 Of course, he could admit to himself that he was a little
weak in showing initiative when it came to women, so perhaps a more
possessive one like Yohko was better for him.  And she also had such a
marvelous pair of legs, and the nicest figure, from her training.

Heh. Nice to know he has his priorities.


"Hello, Kasuga-senpai," Minami greeted him from behind.

This probably won't be good for him.



"And who is this, Kasuga-kun?" purred an ominous-sounding voice from
behind him.  "Please, introduce us."

Didn't take long for Yohko to get wind of this.


Kyosuke turned to see Yohko standing right behind him, her eyes tight
with suppressed anger, and he

I'd seperate this into two sentences.

'anger. He was

was amazed at how quietly she could move
when the mood struck her.  He had not even been aware that she had been
watching him that closely.  "Uh," he said in reply, his brain appearing
to have locked up for the moment.

Heh. Typical male reaction.




"Aren't you the one that killed that oni a few weeks back?" asked
Minami.  "The one that was tearing up that restaurant in downtown
Nerima?"

"Pesky critters, aren't they?" Minami found she enjoyed having someone to
'talk shop' with.



Minami was impressed, and an idea occurred to her.  Having a Devil
Hunter to team up with would make her Ghost Sweeping missions a little
easier, especially one with a growing reputation at the Institute like
Yohko Mano had.  Although she normally loathed 'magical girls' with a
passion, Minami could see definite advantages to having some doughty
Devil Hunter around to draw fire, er, join forces with.  And with her
brains combined with Yohko's brawn, they could make an unbeatable pair.

Once Minami makes that spell of hers permenent, anyway.

Oh, you didn't mean that sort of 'pair.' Nevermind, then.


The two girls fell into a conversation, both of them quickly finding a
kindred spirit in the other.  Yohko's initial impression of Minami as
some man-stealing bimbo was dispelled when she was quickly informed by
the other girl that she had no interest in him.  That eased Yohko's
insecurities when it came to boyfriends a little, the last few
relationships she had been involved with having ended... badly.

Death being the easiest way for the poor shmucks to check out. ^_^

was wrong to think you were the one who could carry the honor of this
institution.  Perhaps I should have given that chance to young Nabiki.
I'm sure that Cadet Tendo would not have folded up quite so quickly in
a match against the Tenjo girl."

Or perhaps even quicker, since Utena would have felt more rivallrytowards
her.


"After this meeting is concluded, I'm going to inform your parents that
you will be remaining at the Academy day and night until the time of
your match."

Looks like he wasn't kidding about the training. :)

"Training partner?  Do you mean Nabiki or Kodachi?"

No. Someone worse. Someone much, much, worse.



The side door to the room opened and Ranma blinked at the sight of the
redheaded catgirl standing in the doorframe, not realizing her to be
anything other than a normal girl at first.  His eyes traversed her
body instinctively, starting at her booted feet.  She was tall, almost
taller than Ranma himself was, and broad of shoulder.  Her figure was
nicely proportioned though, her chest endowments balancing out her
build and giving her a noticeably feminine appearance, especially since
her outfit was tailored to emphasize the fullness of her bosom.

Given it was Kinnosuke who dresses his giant 'dolls', it's hardly a
surprise.



"Tiger here is on loan to us from one of your fellow cadets," said the
Dean.  He glanced over at the catgirl.  "Tiger, please introduce
yourself to Cadet Saotome.  I think your beauty has him flustered."

Well, something has him flustered all right. :)


Tiger's ears flattened ever so slightly for a moment, her green eyes
taking on a dangerous cast, before quickly returning to her former
pleasant-appearing state.

Odd reaction. How come?

"An amazing piece of genetic engineering, isn't she?"

ie: She's got a really nice set of knockers. :)

specs in one of the bioengineering journals.  He knew that the catgirl
somatype was especially popular around the world, which was why Genom
(the undisputed leader in the production of humanoid replicants) had
made almost their entire fortune off of the Puma series.  The two-meter
tall, Amazonian catgirls were adored by the rich and powerful as status
symbols.  High-level corporate executives often enjoyed having a Puma
bodyguard/companion as a company perk.

Like having box seats to an LA Lakers game. ^_^


"So did I.  Ranma had best not fail me again, for his sake."

"Don't worry, sir.  Tiger and I'll have Saotome whipped into shape for
his rematch against the Tenjo girl.

Emphasis on 'whipped'


"Going to bet on the boy again, Coach?"

"How did you-?"  Coach Fujinami stared at the Dean, surprised at his
knowledge of the bet.

Just said 'bet.' I'd use 'wager' here for variation.


"Marrying two women," said the Dean in wonder.  "I know that a man can
have more than one, but I've seen those two together.  How did you ever
keep them from killing each other?"

"I let them sleep with whomever they want," Fujinami explained.


"By marrying both of them," replied Fujinami ruefully.

Heh. That would do it too.

  Perhaps dating
two women at the same time when he had been attending Tokyo University
had not been the smartest thing he could have done with his social
life, but after twenty years of marriage to them, he no longer
regretted it in the slightest.  "I love both of them, and they've since
learned to tolerate each other."

I like that attitude as well. All is not perfect in the 'herem.'


"You're a braver man than I, Coach,"

Braver than me, too. Obviously not as smart, though.

 >
"Leave the two of them in Coach Takami's care," replied the Dean.  "I
want you to focus on Ranma.  A week spent apart from the girls might
help him concentrate.  And I've noticed that they've both been showing
some competitive spirit around each other."

Well, some would call it that. Personally I would call it cat fighting. ^_^


Ranma stared out the window in his class, his eyes tracking Tiger's
progress as she strolled across the campus to the dormitory area.  The
building she was heading towards was brand new, to handle increases in
the number of students housed on campus.  Watching her trim figure
stride along, Ranma was starting to wonder at times if the only other
people in his life would all be female.

He should be so lucky. :P

 He was even beginning to think
that he would welcome the appearance of Ryoga, or maybe even Kuno
showing up more often to harass him.  That would be like a semblance of
having some guy friends, at least.  His mother kept urging Ranma, along
with her annoying efforts at securing for him a wife, to come along
with her to meet her friend Achika's son, Tenchi.  And a month ago, his
father had also suggested he look up the son of an old friend of his,
Makoto Mizuhara, a boy his own age who was studying science at one of
the less prestigious academies in the area,.

drop the comma there



Ranma's head jerked around at the sound of the name.  He stared at the
redhead standing in front of the class and almost leaped out of his
chair.  She _can't_ be a Ghost Sweeper on this timeline, he thought.

*Sigh* You think he would have learned by now.

After all, Ranma was quite different from his own analog on that other
Earth.  Besides, she was thinner and appeared to be in better shape.

Had a better butt, too.

So he forced himself to calm down, but the thought kept running through
his mind, I ain't afraid of no ghosts.

Ouch! Bad one.



Ranma almost fell out of his chair.  Luckily, no one had apparently
noticed.  I do _not_ believe this, he subvocalised.  Who's next to walk
into my life?

A curly-haired Spaniard burst into the room. He leveled a sword at Ranma.
"My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

 >
Minami smiled at the class, her ego exulting in the many interested
looks she was getting from the boys.  She had sensed some odd energies
swirling around the campus, even stronger in this room.  She swiveled
her gaze among the students, quickly noticing one boy (a good-looking
one too, she saw) who seemed to recognize her.  There was something odd
about his spiritual aura though.

>From what? The resonator?


Gosunkugi, seated in the back of the class and enjoying anonymity as
was his preference, blinked and frowned deeply at the sight of the two
looking so intensely at each other.  An odd feeling suffused him, but
he was positive it wasn't jealousy.

He was sure he had no interest in Ranma.

 That would be a betrayal of his
feelings for Akane.  But in ten days was the next new moon.  Then Ranma
Saotome was really going to get it.

Ah, about time Gos made his move. He's been steaming for a while now.


"He's possessed!" Minami suddenly announced, fumbling in her bag for
her pad of o-fuda (anti-evil wards).  She whipped one out, letting a
small portion of her magics charge it with power.  It snapped straight
in her hand, burning with flames that did not consume the paper.  With
a skill born of many hours spent in the target ranges practicing such
maneuvers, she flipped her wrist and the flaming strip of paper sailed
across the room to affix itself to the boy scholar's forehead.

Here we go again. :)



Ayaka took a moment to sense Ranma's aura, but she did not detect
anything really out of the ordinary in him.  His spirit was a rather
strong one, like a torch fire when most people were mere candleflames,
but he was not possessed.

What? She hadn't tried to sense him before? He was her assignment, after
all.

  She sighed, realizing that Minami had just
mistakenly read Ranma as possessed when he was simply a strong soul,
perhaps a very old soul with many lives under its proverbial belt.  The
two sorts of energy patterns were very similar though.

Odd, that.


Ranma blinked, having been too startled by her announcement to even try
dodging out of the way.  He plucked the o-fuda from his face.

He should be getting an intense feeling of Deja vous from his S 1/2
template.



Ranma blinked and slowly turned around to see the sunken-eyed boy, a
bit surprised at never noticing him before,

Gos has that effect on people. :)

 >
"You say one word about what just happened, and I'll make your life a
living hell,"

"Even more than I usually do,'


Ayaka shook her head in bemusement.  When the class had finally settled
back to normal, she began her lecture on the latest chapter in the
textbook, how it was the duty of every citizen to marry and raise law-
abiding children who would further strengthen the Empire.

Ah. Propoganda 101


The place that caught Tiger's attention most was the small gym area,
currently empty of weight machines.  It was large enough that it could
be used for sparring indoors, since the weather at night could get
quite cold and Tiger did not much care for that sort of thing.

What thing? The cold?

 If she
was going to be spending several days beating the stuffings out of
Ranma Saotome, then she wanted to be comfortable while doing it.

Oh, I see.


The catgirl chose one of the rooms on the second floor near the bathing
facilities for her own, setting down her small travel bag on the bed
and ripping off the plastic sheet covering the mattress.  She had
brought it with her to the Academy after Kinnosuke had explained his
plan to her.  It contained enough clothes for a week, mostly underwear
(and Tiger had an admitted fondness for lacy, see-through things),

I can see where her attire is going to become a problem for Ranma. :)



                   *****************************

Ranma stood in his Chinese-style clothes on one side of the mat the
coach had provided, finally done with loosening himself up.  Coach
Fujinami had provided it, having several of the upperclassmen drag the
pieces in here and set them up.  A twelve-meter square of blue padding
now rested in the center of the dining area.

Makes for eating a bit odd. :)


Standing across the mat from Ranma was Tiger, her body clothed in a
light green gi made of tough silk, her namesake animal stitched into
the cloth with golden thread and running around her torso.  She was
currently smiling at him rather unpleasantly, her enlarged canines
clearly visible as she popped her knuckles, her head rolling for a
moment from one side of her shoulders to the other.

Someone's getting ready to indulge herself.




Fujinami clapped his hand over his face and groaned.  If that was the
best that Ranma was going to do, he was going to need something to
drink.

Ranma probably will too.

just right to show off to their best effect her trimly athletic figure,
the length of her well-toned legs, and the fullness of her breasts.
She smiled softly at her reflection as she slowly ran a hand up along
her torso, feeling the solid muscle underlying her very womanly curves,
like warm velvet covering steel.  She was pleased as always with the
striking image staring back at her.  Random memories from the path that
had led her to this point flashed across her mind even as she made
minute adjustments to her outfit.

Time for the flashback sequence. :)


Born a sickly child with a weak constitution, Hinako never would have
imagined at that young of an age

I'd just say 'young age'


Hinako remembered little of those days before her time spent in her new
home, one among nearly a dozen young Japanese, Chinese, and Korean
girls.

No Europeans or Africans?

On her first night there, a nameless figure had given her a
shot, knocking her unconscious.  The next few days or weeks were a hazy
recollection, a period of alternating bouts of painful cramps, severe
nausea, raging fever, and chills.  When all of that finally passed, her
body began changing, growing stronger and healthier than it had ever
been before, and Ninomiya Hinako started her new life.

Hmm. Early experimentation with the Phoenix process, or something else, I
wonder.

While still recovering from the last stages of her illness, young
Hinako had been introduced to the woman who would make the next decade
a living hell.  She was a withered, ancient crone who rarely smiled, a
martial arts teacher who was only ever addressed as 'Sensei.'  Hinako
had also been introduced to the man who their teacher only ever called
'Master,' a very tall, dark, and coldly menacing figure.

At last, he returns, for the first time. :)


The group of girls training with Hinako maintained a distance with each
other, viewing their peers as rivals for the rare praise of their
teacher.  And a rough sort of pecking order established itself over
time.  She could remember many nights spent recovering from beatings at
the hands of the other girls, until her own strength and skill finally
grew great enough to bring her up from the bottom of the cadre to the
top.  Pain taught her to be strong, and she used it to force herself to
be better and faster than she had been before.

And above all else, she learned that delinquents must be punished.


When Hinako was thirteen or so, she finally began to mature into a most
strikingly beautiful young woman, and the

again I would break this into two sentences

Woman. The years

Hinako, he taught one that she avoided using much, despite the rush it
gave her, due to the questions it could raise in her present calling.
It was a chi draining ability that left few warriors able to stand
against her, one that added even more strength and speed to her body
while the charge lasted.  The only limitation was that she required a
circle of some sort to act as a focus for her abilities.

The more things change...


Growing up with as little caring human contact as she had, Hinako
treated his infrequent attentions as a form of love.  It gave the
little orphan girl she once was a feeling that someone indeed cared
about her welfare, perhaps even loved her.  It was a pleasant fantasy,
but one she valued highly to maintain her own sanity.  She cultivated a
hope that someday she would meet a man who could indeed love her, but
it was a feeling now deeply buried within her.

More groundwork for the future concerning Hinako and relationships.


Shortly before she turned sixteen, the Master sent all of his young
students back out into the world.  Hinako vaguely remembered the old
woman doing something to her head, somehow blocking memories from her
time growing up.

Not all of them obviously since she's remembering this.


After a time, and a few early, somewhat fumbling mistakes, no male
could resist eventually succumbing to her will.

Except foe one... :)



Hinako frowned at the thought of him, her nominal equal despite over
ten years in age difference between them.  Soun Tendo was one of the
rare men who had proven able to resist her rather considerable feminine
wiles.

and who wasn't gay.


Studying the sensuous beauty of her face reflected in the glass, Hinako
was mildly annoyed to see it marred by her look of anger, and she
smoothed her features with the skills of a consummate natural actress.
My ambitions will not be thwarted by that cold bastard, she thought,
holding her anger beneath the surface.  After all, I deserve to head up
the Security Directorate more than any man.  I've worked hard to get
where I am, sacrificed so much

slept with every guy I could to advance in rank.


required her to play such parts as this from time to time.  It would
have shocked some of her underlings at the Directorate to know, but
there were times when she simply needed to feel the gentle touch of a
man.  There were moments when she needed to just be Hinako Ninomiya,
the flesh and blood woman of passions and desires, and not the mask she
had carefully crafted, called Assistant Director Ninomiya.

Interesting to see that she acknowledges that side of her.

"I've been given a new posting locally," he whispered.  Drawing back,
the face of Gendo Rokubungi became visible.  "I'm to be the new
Headmaster of Furinkan Military Academy.

Oh ho. So he'll have a direct role to play in things.


Over time, their relationship had matured.  It was a casual thing
though, something that waxed and waned with their moods.  After rising
to her present rank, Hinako was amazed at how similar Gendo was to her
new nemesis.

Espcially the hands steepling thing. It really turned her on.


There were other people in their lives, of course.  Gendo had a roving
eye, and Hinako had other men that she cultivated relationships with.
However, when Gendo announced his intentions to marry Yui Ikari, the
woman he claimed to have fallen in love with, Hinako had felt angry.
The girl had been assigned to her section, less

not sure if you need that comma

 than a month after
graduating from the Imperial Academy, so she had taken Yui under her
wing.  Arranging for pictures of Gendo with one of his other women was
child's play.After Yui had received an anonymous batch of photos, the
relationship was off.

Ah, I remember that scene. Cute bringing that in after all of this time.

At last we come to the end. Very nice work. This felt more like a set up
chapter as very little happened outright. Looking forward to seeing what you
have to pull out of your hat next.

D.B. Sommer




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