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Title EGO TRIP: World Ranma Part 01
Disclaimer: almost everything here doesn�t belong to me and is copyrighted to
someone that isn�t me. Also don�t sue, as I have nothing to give.
I guess you could say that my story began when I attended college so very long
ago. I had just finished my final and was sitting in the student union bemoaning
my lack of funds and direction when by some chance, some miracle of fate I
happened to glance down at a insignificant scrap of paper and saw it. The thing
that was to make me great it was an ad for a student, more importantly it was a
potential form of revenue. Apparently the occult studies club was in need of a
test subject a person who was willing to risk their life for the enhancement and
betterment of the understanding of how the world worked.
More importantly it mentioned that those brave souls willing to risk their life
for the betterment of humanity would be compensated for their time with a secular
reward of currency. I must admit the prospect of playing an important role for
the betterment of humanity held no appeal to me, after all what had they ever done
for me, the paper stated that all applicants were directed to the occult club
offices located in room 003 and � in the basement of tailor hall, as I undertook
the long and arduous journey (it was at least 50m) I found myself deep in thought
and lulled my self into a Zen like trance on important philosophical topics as how
many licks did it take to get to the middle of a tootsie roll pop, and if a tree
fell in the forest on a mime and nobody was around would he make a sound, abruptly
my musings were cut short when I discovered that I had arrived at my destination �
Tailor 003 � the men�s room � I must confess dear readers that I was somewhat
confused, to say the least, I mean how would you feel if you were on your way to
what must be a defining moment in the reaching of your destiny and you discovered
it would take place in a men�s room � but I Digress swallowing my doubts
And banishing my fears I entered and saw � nothing, the place appeared to be
deserted, deserted that is until I noticed a sign hanging on the door to one of
the stalls, it appeared to be formed out of a three by five notebook card and
written with black crayon in what was obviously suppose to be spooky handwriting
003 �, vowing to my self not to let my courage waver no mater what sight I beheld
within I squared my shoulders and entered to find that it was somehow much larger
within than it appeared from the out side, its grand marble palisades and high
ceilings seemed out of place but who was I to judge, my musings were cut short
when a voice of titanic proportions rocked the room, it was then that I became
aware of the dark figures surrounding me, dressed in robes of all in black their
faces were covered by the hoods which seemed to come down further than was
practical and I reprimanded the lone thought that asked how they were to see,
seeing my inattention the voice spoke again � WHO IS IT THAT DARES TO INVADE THE
SANCTIOM OF THE SACRAD ORDER OF MAGES SWORN TO KNOW ALL SECRETES THAT LESSERS CALL
THE OCCULT WE WHO HAVE STOOD BY FOR MILLENA AND WATCHED AS THE�� here the voice
was cut off by another which sounded quiet, meek, almost � average,
� Maybe he is here for the experiment? �
� DAMN IT JIM WHY DO YOU ALLWAYSE HAVE TO INTERUPT MY DRAMATIC VOICE ROUTINE,
MAYBE HE IS HERE FOR THE EXPEREMENT, MAYBE HE JUST WANTS TO USE THE TOILET, MAYBE
I SHULD TURN DOWN THE VOLUME ON THE LOUD SPEAKER, MAYBE THIS MAYBE THAT I AM TIRED
OF IT � At this time the voices fell in to in comprehensible muttering and I
resolved to enter in my two cents, I knew that to distract the two great voices
that I had to say something awe inspiring, intelligent, and just plain cool, it
worked the voices both fell silent as they were struck with the full might of my
wisdom struck them and the word
�DUCK, � echoed though out the chamber. I winced as once again I found my focus
of the voice�s might.
� YOU HAVE COME TO US OF YOUR OWN FREE WILL AND HAVE BEEN APRAZED OF THE RISKS DO
AGREE TO UNDER TAKE THIS TASK TO FUTHER OUR KNOLEGE AND UNDERSTANDING???� The
first voice boomed out
� y yes � I managed to stammer out � but first wasn�t their some mention of a
monetary reward for carrying out this task for you � my voice grew more confidant
as my thoughts turned to money, after all I had to keep my priorities straight.
Once again the voice boomed and once again I covered my ears
� AS YOUR REWARD FOR PERFORMING THIS TASK YOU SHALL BE GIVEN OVER THE SUM OF FIVE
DOLLARS. �
� Five dollars are you nuts, not even the largest idiot would risk his life for
such a paltry sum, besides that�s all that the college would give us for this term
and that was only because no one else wanted it � the second voice argued to the
first, the first (lets call him Phloid) answered him
� Don�t worry he wont survive the experiment and then we�ll have both the data and
the money � � but I still � � the first voice began again when unable to contain
myself I interrupted since to me this seemed too good to be true and proudly I
give my response
� Five Bucks All right I�ll do it! � At hearing this the dark figures began to
move closer and surround me when as one they began in a slow methodical chant
after what seamed like forever and was in actuality probably only a few seconds I
began to grow board wishing for something, anything to happen � unfortunately, I
got my wish.
The light began to flicker and the world began to spin, I found my self
experiencing the new sensations of being Abel to taste color and see sound, I am
not ashamed to admit that I screamed, so sure I was that the world was about to
end that I began to make excuses for all of my misdeeds incase their really was a
god, no no really Hades I did slaughter a bull for you, what do you mean you never
got my human sacrifice � damn postal service, of course I got absolved from that,
how was I suppose to know that was holy water, I am convinced that this would have
continued when it all came to a halt and I found myself laying face down on some
of the softest and most confortible
Grass that I have ever had the opportunity to experience, it was nice, so nice in
fact that I immediately fell back to sleep. I awoke later and took stock of my
situation, I appeared to be in a meadow in the middle of a deep forest isolated
from civilization, my possessions included, the clothes on my back my wallet and �
a book, it appeared to be quite old and bound in the old way, its leather cover
was dark and in it I saw that this book had seen many hands, and would see many
more, opening the cover I bore witness to the words that would haunt my destiny
for many years.
So you want to be a Self Insertion Character by Anomalous, swallowing my horror I
did all that I could, considering the situation � I sat down and began reading.
Chapter 1 < The Ranmaverse > in 10 easy to follow steps
Step:
1. Change your name: As in think up a fake one while it may not seem important it
is, what�s in a name � everything, if a mage knows it then he can control you, so
not only does this practice help you hide your true name but it gives you an ultra
cool name to call yourself, I mean after all what did your parents know when they
decided to call you Ira or something. The proper name should, a: strike fear in
the hearts of your enemies, b: sound really cool, and c: define some
characteristic about you, your inner nature or mission or something.
Hmm, I decided that I could live with that and that it was just possible that some
of the arguments could be true but resolved to put it off until I could think of
something appropriate.
2. Learn to be a super insanely powerful martal artist: Lets face it you are a
wimp, everyone in the world is better than you, and if you want to last five
seconds here then you are going to have to learn to defend yourself.
NOTE: Becoming an ultra insanely powerful mage instead of or in addition to
becoming a martial artist is also acceptable.
This was another one of the steps that I did not have a problem with, after all
who doesn�t want to be Abel to leap tall buildings in a single bound and stuff.
3. Fall in a cursed spring: After all everybody�s doing it and you don�t want to
be left out do you do you do you.
Nope, not gonna do it I don�t want to turn in to a small black pig or a panda or a
young girl, this was a definite no no.
4. Train with Ranma and Genma: Learn anything goes, after all it must be fun to
undergo all of those brutal training methods or why wouldn�t you want to
experience such things as pits of starving cats and be pummeled by boulders and be
repedly burned trying to extract chestnuts from a burning fire.
WOW, every sad pathetic fanboy otaku�s dream come true, I couldn�t wait to start.
5. Defeat an amazon (any amazon) in combat: After all who wouldn�t want to have a
loving, compassionate, obsessive, uninhibited, and bouncy girl after you, and as
an added bonus you get to have her great grand mother thrown in with you, it�s a
deal you can�t possibly pass up.
While I wasn�t too inthused about the kiss of life, the prospect of marriage
scared the hell out of me and I resolved to find a way around this one
immediately.
6. Live at the Tendo dojo: Two words, Kasumi�s Cooking, Did I really want to miss
out on such a wonderful experience, and I didn�t think so.
My mouth began watering at the thought, yum.
7. Get a romantic interest: The most common choices are Nabiki and Ukyou, although
you get bonus points if you chose one of the less common ones. This also gives
you multiple fianc�s since you can�t use this as a way to get out of the amazon
rule.
Damn it, Ukyou and Ranma, just went together and Nabiki would sell me, ok
originals Kodatchi is rich but she also has that poison fetish, Kasumi � wonderful
cooking but no, Akane < shudder > Some how I didn�t think that an overwhelming
hatred of your prospective fianc� was a good way to start a relationship and with
that I resolved to do the only thing I could do, Put it off.
8. Help Ranma with his problems: This is your new mission in life, I mean doesn�t
the poor guy deserve a break look at his life. His problems are women problems,
enemy problems, his curse and, a Suicide pact. Solve them and you will have
completed step 8.
Since all of Ranma�s problems were due to Genma and Akane, then their pain
suffering and deaths would make the world right heh heh heh, some times I loved my
job.
9. Put everyone in to nice happy relationships: What kind of a sad pathetic fanboy
are you if you don�t have places that you would like to see your favorite couples
be, extra points are given for originality, ie not Shampoo and Musse.
I donna wanna play matchmaker.
10. Leave: You are like the hero in those old westerns, the last thing you do is
leave, this only happens after you have completed the previous 9 steps when you
finish you will be transported to another universe and will have new tasks to
perform, it is only after you complete all tasks in the book that you will have
the power to return home.
An all expence paid trip through anime and others, sometimes life was good.
Background Information: welcome to the Ranmaverse a Takahashi type reality where
martial arts hyjinks and romantic subplots are the norm. You have been placed
into the time line at approximately the time of Ranma�s birth in order to have a
chance at learning enough martial arts so as to be a main character and not sit in
the sidelines after all you are SI now.
To make your transition you have been given several small abilities and
possibilities and it is up to you to maximize them. First off you are now
Immortal in that you do not age, you also possess a learning curve and martial
arts potential that rivals Ranma�s, additionally you may now access and store
items in a small subspace dimension, and lastly have been given the ability to
learn magic.
Hardly believeing my good fortune I immediately set out to find a sensei, after
all how hard could it be?
Osaka, 5 years later
� You said you�d take me with you � tears ran down young Ukyou�s face as her
anguished cry rang out, tripping her heart sunk for she knew that she would never
be able to catch up now. It was then that a miracle occurred, young Ranma was
lifted off the cart as if by the hand of an angel and set down beside her.
� Don�t cry Ucchan, I�m here � Ranma gathered his friend up into a hug and tried
to comfort her, the young boy wiped the tears of his friends face, � what�s wrong
�
� You tried to leave me you jackass, your own fianc�, how could you. � Ranma was
confused hundreds of thoughts swirled in his head chief among them, what�s a
fianc�, deciding to ignore the disturbing thoughts for now he came up with a plan
of action and implemented it.
� Let�s go find your dad, he�ll know what to do. � In the bushes unnoticed to
either child a dark figure collapses agenst a tree, wiping the sweat off his brow
he opens an old looking leather bound and seems to consult a list �
� Well that�s one of his problems gone,� he mused to himself, � only a whole lot
more to go. �
� What�s an engagement and � WHAT DO YOU MEAN UCCHANS A GIRL � Ukyou�s father
winced at the young boy�s outburst. After explaining the principals of what an
engagement was to the young Saotome the three headed off to hunt down the cowardly
bastard known as Genma, It did not take them long to find the Yattai siting on the
side of the road and Looted of everything of obvious value ( 1000 yen in assorted
change ) ( 1 ) It wasn�t difficult to start the business over again, especially
with Ranma and for a while, just for a while it looked as if their would be a
happy ending and a greatly shortened fanfic, but however the bitch known as
destiny had other plans for our young hero and guided her pawn to retake the boy
and return him to his path. Once again tears ran down Ukyou�s face as helplessly
she watched a struggling Ranma being carried off by his father her only confort
was the words he called to her before being knocked
Unconscious. � Ucchan I will find you, we will be together again. �
Elsewhere
A dark figure crept over the grounds of the stately Kuno mansion creeping into the
room of the eldest of the two children he beheld a vast book case and upon
surveying many of the titles he beheld many that proclaimed of the greatness of
the noble class and the need for the pesant class to be dominated but none that
proclaimed the equality of all sighing but not looking surprised he removed a
heavy pack from his shoulders and began removing books from the shelf and
replacing them with those in the pack, his task completed he changed his location
to that of the other child who even at such a young age was surrounded by images
of winning of conquering her competition and of the need to be the best, once
again he removed his pack and prayed silently to himself that this would be
enough. On his way out he thought that it probably wouldn�t and so called
children�s services and had the children�s father arrested and insured that a
responsible person would be placed in charge of their upbringing.( 2 )
Somewhere in China 10 Years later
� Foolish boy don�t you know that this is for your own good � a fat bald man
states to one of his companions.
Glaring at his tormentor the boy replays � shut up Genma, if it weren�t for these
chains I wouldn�t be here right now �
( And now for those confused by this dialog a �. Da ta da da � FLASH BACK )
Scene
Young Ranma trying to escape from Genma only to be cruelly struck down by a savage
blow to the back of his head.
Scene
Genma tying up young Ranma for the night and retying him every night
Scene
Genma getting increceingly desperate on ways to keep his son controlled and so
begins using chains and a succession of better locks as Ranma becomes an escape
artist and founder of the Saotome School of anything goes lockpicking.
Scene
Electronic Devices are tried and abandoned after Ranma becomes an expert at
electronics.
Scene
Night after night Ranma vows to escape from Genma and return to his lost love.
And so we continue
After a while Genma manages to drag Ranma towards a small hut located in a valley
filled with springs that all have Bamboo poles sticking out of them. Walking up
to the door Genma gave it a mighty knock and had only moments to wait before the
Jusenkyo guide appeared.
� Oh sirs you come to valley of cursed springs Jeusenkyo � Oh sirs what are you
doing � the guide called out in distress as he watched his customers leap onto the
bamboo poles.
� I won�t go easy on you boy � the older and fatter one exclaimed.
� Prepare to die you old bastard � the younger one screamed in earnest as the
fight began slowly the younger man gained the upper hand and knocked the older one
into one of the springs and to the shock and horror of the guide attempted to hold
his father�s face under the water. Unfortunately luck was with Genma that day,
perhaps by luck , or possibly due to the increased strength of his new form he
managed to break his sons hold and fling him into one of the other springs, and
only by force of will did he managed to pull himself out of the spring and onto
the bank before he succumbed to the black embrace of unconsousness.
End Part 01
By Joshua B. Vote
Glossary
Plane walker: an individual possessing the ability to travel through universes and
or dimensions.
( 1 ) 1000Yen � about 10 dollars
( 2 ) Allways hedge your bets.
What is this, well after learning what kind of person Genma is after the
abandonment of
Ukyou, he opens his eyes and begins to notice things, his father�s lack of morals,
the fact that his father cares for none but himself. In the original time line he
sees this and resolves to be as different from his father as he can and thus
develops the strong code of honor that we know and love. In my time line on the
other hand he try�s to escape Genma and return to Ukyou, Genma stops him and ties
him up, he learns to contort himself and escape from the ropes, Genma uses chains
he learns to pick locks Genma upgrades he learns more. ECT.
Questions / Comments
You can reach me at
joshuavote@usa.net or ashura_productions@hotmail.com or vote1523@students.sou.edu
or you can go to my home page located at kei.animenetwork.com/anime/ashura/
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