I believe SKJAM used this title for a teaser story he
released ages ago but my story has nothing to do with
that fanfic. I've been hesitent to send this as I've
not added anything to it in about two months but it
has been sitting here long enough that I think I'll
at least air my dirty laundry...
Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi as well as Viz Video,
Shogakukan and whoever else happens to hold the rights. I
am not writing this to make money but I hope no one else
steals my ideas contained within. That said, please sit
back and enjoy the show.
Halfway There Productions Presents
It Seemed Like a Good Idea At the Time
by Warr
Prolog
Souan Saotome again peered closely at the foreign girl standing
before her. The gaijin had dark hair and green eyes but her
most peculiar feature was the small gem imbedded into the skin
just below her right eye. Souan had been training in China with
some Amazons before she had wandered off in search of new
challenges. Just a week out from the village, she had found a
merchant's carriage that had suffered attack. There was a plush
carpet roll that had been left behind. Stranger still was the
girl Souan had found sleeping inside the roll of carpet.
Unraveling the girl had led Saotome down an unexpected road and
into her current position.
Souan thought for a moment before speaking, "So, you've
granted my first two wishes and I still have one more? Okay,
I know. I wish that my legacy will span the ages!"
The forienger tried not to look too exasperated when she replied,
"That's really not a good idea. Are you sure that's..."
Still feeling giddy from her first two wishes, Souan was not in
the mood for the lecture and interruption, "Just do it!"
"Okay, you're wish is granted. Good luck."
Just as before, Souan felt no tingle, no tell-tale signs that her
wish had been granted but knew it was true all the same. She
closed her eyes and said a little prayer of thanks to the gods
before opening her eyes to find her benefactor gone. She wasted
no time pondering her good luck before heading off to her next
training ground. It was a place she had heard the Amazons talk
about with both awe and trepidation in their voices. Jusenkyo.
*** ^_- *** -_- *** -_^ ***
"This is it? I traveled all this way for some bamboo poles sticking
out of some tiny ponds? Oh well, guess I could practice some of my
aerial maneuvers."
Souan leapt onto the nearest bamboo stick jutting from the pond
below and began her aerial dance from stem to stem. It was
unfortunate that the skies suddenly grew cloudy and a brief rainstorm
caused her to slip upon landing and fall into the pond below. Souan
really regretted never having learned to swim and her last thought
was, "Now how is my legacy supposed to span the ages?"
*** ^_- *** -_- *** -_^ ***
Chapter One
One Thousand Four Hundred and Some Odd Years Later
*splash*
"Oh no, you fall in Nyanniichuan, Spring of Drowned Girl. There
very tragic legend of girl who drown in spring one thousand five
hundred year ago."
*** ^_- *** -_- *** -_^ ***
Pantyhose Taro cursed the day he'd been born and whatever gods had
decided to have fun at his expense. Not only had the old freak not
given him his new name, but he'd just had a really crappy month in
general.
"When will I ever be rid of this cursed...?" Taro trailed off when
he noticed what appeared to be a Persian rug left alone on the path.
"What's this? I wonder if I can sell it and get some money for food.
Huh-huh. The original owners don't seem to be around. Huh-huh."
Bending down, he unrolled the pink and red rug with a flourish. It
unraveled, showing off a white and pink tasseled edges, an intricate
Arabian pattern in the middle and a sleeping female. It was the
woman encased within who caused Taro to stand in surprise.
The pantyhose clad youth stood back and into a casual defensive stance
as he stated, "This isn't some stupid trap so hidden friends can try
and rob me, is it? Huh-huh. If so, you're out of luck."
"I'm afraid not, bucko. My name is Jenn Fortune and I'm a Jinniyah.
Because you unraveled me, you get three wishes."
Taro still wasn't convinced and stayed alert as he began to probe Jenn
for some answers to his questions. "Huh-huh. What the hell is a
Jinniyah? Are you Gong De Tian? Where's your wishing pearl?"
Jenn, for her part, looked annoyed as she attempted to take stock of
her position and answer the effete looking boy at the same time.
"Where am I? You look Asian. I take it I'm still in China? Korean?
Don't tell me I'm in Japan. The last time I was there... well, it
wasn't pretty. I think the Americans were about to bomb the place.
As for me, Djinn and Jinniyah are part of Arabian mythology. I
myself, am from Mesopotamia.
"Not that that matters. You unraveled my rug so you get three wishes.
You can ask for most anything although you cannot wish for more wishes
or that I make someone love you. I can't change a person's heart."
Taro looked happy for the first time in a long while when he finally
responded, "My first wish is easy. I want a new name."
"Haven't you ever heard of a legal name change? People have them done
all the time. What is your name, anyway?"
"Never mind my name," the lad cum monster snarled, "I wish my new name
was Awesome Taro!"
"You wish, wierd though it may be, is granted."
"And for my second wish, I wish that Happosai would get his just
desserts."
"Who's Happosai? Never mind, I don't think I want to know. Your second
wish is granted. Do you know what you want for your third wish?"
"Well... Huh-huh. I already know that I'm the best, but I wish I was
the greatest martial artist ever!"
"Are you sure about that? I mean, the other two wishes were okay, I
suppose, don't screw up this last one. Please!"
"Are you going to grant my wish or aren't you?"
"Fine, wish granted."
Taro felt a change come over his body similar to that of his change into
cursed form but wouldn't think much of it until later. It wasn't like
he could really test the wish until he met another martial artist to
spar against. He looked around for the genie to thank her but she was
gone and her rug back in its raveled and rolled-up position.
*** ^_- *** -_- *** -_^ ***
Awesome Taro was pissed. Girls laughed at his new name worse than they
ever had at his old name and his new appearance didn't help things at all.
Gods! What had ever come over him to make him make that final wish? But
he trudged on, carrying with him the large, tasseled, pink and white
Persian rug that was the cause of his current depression. He was giving
serious consideration to that 'legal name change' thing that strange,
begemmed girl had mentioned.
He approached the town with some trepidation. Who knew who would recognize
him and laugh at his name or new look? It must be done, though, he must
have his revenge, so he entered the small coastal town and headed towards
the docks. Finding a small merchant shop, Taro entered and began the
bargaining process.
"How much will you give me for this rug? It's in good condition but I
wouldn't recommend opening it until it's well on its way to wherever
you plan on selling it."
The merchant gawked at the propositioning customer before he managed
to stammer out, "Ar- Aren't you...?"
"NO! No, I'm not. Look, do you want the rug or don't you? I'm sure
someone else will give it to me without all the hassle."
"Good condition, you say?"
"Excellent."
"Um, I can give you 12,450 yuan strait out or I can give you 14,500
in-store credit. My larger shop is just around the corner and has a
fine selection of rugs, antique furniture and miscellania."
"Just give me the cash and don't tell anyone you saw me, okay?"
The merchant counted out the money, exchanged it for the rug and
waited for his customer to leave before yelling for his wife, "Fuun!
Fuun-chan, get down here! I just bought a rug from Bruce Lee!"
*** ^_- *** -_- *** -_^ ***
Ranma and Akane were going to be at school on time, for once. The
last couple weeks could be counted as the calmest Nerima had seen
in quite some time and Ranma had been thanking his lucky stars. He
had also been counting down the days until these days of normalcy
disappeared and things went back to Nerimian Status Quo.
Saotome was running atop the fence and turned to his running partner
to bed the question, "Hey, Akane, how long has it been since all those
jockey straps, lederhosen and other clothes appeared in the sky to
crush Happosai? It's been really quiet since he fell into that coma."
"I don't know. A couple weeks." Akane's reply matched Ranma's estimate
of time. "You starting to feeling unlucky? Grandfather Happosai had
been close to punishing you for saying he was no true master of our
schools before his accident. Why, did you have something to do with
those clothes?"
"I wish." he replied. "Let's try to get to school on time today. It
might freak Miss Hinako out if we were on time everyday this week."
With that, Ranma and Akane sped off for school.
End Chapter One
This idea came to me after watching the episode of The X-Files entitled
Je Souhaite and seeing the previews for the upcoming movie Bedazzled,
which stars Brendan Fraser and Elizabeth Hurley. The first involves
a genie, the second the devil. They both grant wishes, but the results
are never quite what the person who made the wish, desired. I'm hoping
for audience laughter so any comments good, bad, ugly are appreciated.
I have some ideas for future chapters though any help would be digested
and thanked. Additional chapters.... will be released as my muse
allows.
Thanks for reading,
Warr
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"Would you prefer to be conscious or unconscious during the
mating? I would prefer conscious, but I don't know what your
... pleasure threshold is."
-- G'Kar to Lyta Alexander in Babylon 5: The Gathering