Just one thing, you should replace Nyquill with someone from Ranma.
After all, he appears to be the only character you haven't. It's
distracting to some people when you do that, cause they keep trying to
figure out who the person might be.
My personal suggestion is this: Put Shinosuke, the kid from the
Ryugenzawa story in there instead. He has absolutely no memory, so he'd
probably forget why he was there, who the bride was, and what he was
supposed to do. 'Vexed could become increasingly more frustrated with him
until she just clobbers him and leaves.'
Or if you don't know who that is, just use another bit character.
Someone like Sentaro, from martial arts tea ceremony.
-----
Also, you should change Shampoo's dialouge in the scene where the car is
being shot at. Something like.
"Aiya! We is being shot at!"
--------
Another thing that seemed to glare out at me, why put happy as the
President of the Facefaults? Principal Kuno would have been a much better
choice for the role. I'd suggest changing that, rather than have him in a
role like Nabiki's stooge he would be funnier here. His personality fits
the roll almost perfectly.
Happosai would be much better served as Yogurt. Although I'm asuming
that you saved that role for Cologne for some reason. You'll get better
jokes out of it if you use happy instead. Cologne is a one joke horse,
she's ugly. Happy is not only ugly, but perverted and self centered too.
--------
I read about the Manda idea, I suggest you go with it.
-------
Well, that's all I can think of at the moment, it's a great fic even
with it's mistakes. [Not that there are many of them.] I'm interested to
see how you'll handle Yogurt in this though.
Oh well, Ja ne.
Carrotglace