"Colonel Hibiki!"
Why not Col. Big Noise, or Lucky Fangs, or some such?
Vexxed and the other names were easily resolved into the characters.
##Okay. Yup, that's all. Okay.
"You dare attempt to go over the helmet of the GREAT THUNDEROUS
FACEFAULT!" No sooner had he uttered these words than he lurched
forward
and slammed his face onto the deck. He quickly stood up muttering
about
the curse of their race. A man in the background held up a cardboard
cutout of a lightning bolt.
Priceless.
##Kuno has gotta be the best comic relief character in the books...
Thunder Helmet turned to face Colonel Hibiki. "Now that that
poor,
that that looks akward.
##So so it does.
Terminating the connection, she turned to the rest of the crew
and
ordered, "When the president is feeling better, please lock him in a
safe with a view port so that he may view the capture of the princess
without causing any trouble."
using view twice in the same sentence. Might want to change to
he may witness... IMHO
##Good idea.
"Stop roaring and thundering in my ear!" he grumbled, poking his
left ear.
Very Mel Brooks.
##You're much too kind.
Helmet was about to reply when he saw that the lasers were going
everywhere except at the car. So were the rockets, fishing nets, and
cows. "Hey!" he shouted, lifting his visor. "Who's wasting our
livestock?!"
Should have been pigs IMHO.
##<slaps forehead> Of course!
"Now your hair is gone?" Hibiki finished. Helmet snapped his
teeth
together and glared at the colonel.
LOL
##Watch as obscure references pop up everywhere! Well, not really.
"It's Mousse, not Moose, as in close, not clothes, or heir, not
air," Hibiki explained.
Good Dr. Seuss impression.
##Just wait to the fibbles, greeps, nobbins, and trefflies show up.
"'Lo!" said nearly all the men in the room as they stood up,
facing
all different directions, all of them with glasses on their foreheads
and loose sleeves.
I truely fear for Hots if they all meet.
##MOUSSE1: Hot!
MOUSSE2: Oh, hot!
MOUSSE3: Hot, I love you!
MOUSSE52: Hot!
LONE STALLION: Get off me!
Meanwhile, in a Flairmobile, a young man was asleep at the wheel.
You might want to describe the Flairmobile here. AKA a mobile home with
a rocket strapped to it's hind... or something.
##Sigh. A Flairmobile is just another brand name. I'll figure something
out.
In the back of the Flairmobile, a panda was practicing a kata in
a
small room with posters of Ling-Ling all over the walls. He had the
word
"Belch" dyed into the fur of his chest. Hearing the boy's voice call
him
Priceless.
##If you say so...
from the front of the bus, he stopped and grunted in frustration. He
lumbered up into the cockpit and flicked the "Receive" switch.
I expected him to smack his son in the head after hitting the switch.
##Drat! OOC Genma who doesn't hit his son every five seconds!
"BAKA THE HUTT!" the boy exclaimed, Belch's sign bearing the same
message.
This is quite possibly the only fic written where a Ranma incarnation
calls Nabiki an idiot. Cheers.
##I've broken the barrier! Woohoo!
"A thousand?" Biki questioned with raised eyebrows. "Haven't you
ever heard of inflation? If you factor that in, you owe me..." She
suggest interest
##I suppose.
[The FaceFaults?] *WHACK* Belch's face accidentally hit a button,
and King Tendo's face was replaced by a war scene, the Ewoks versus
the
Pokemon. Quickly hitting the button again, and the king returned.
Who's winning?
##Well, for four hours the battle raged, and no one could determine who
the victor would be. Then, a stray human was turned to stone and every
Pokemon took the time to cry their eyes out. While they were distracted,
a suicidal Ewok threw himself down a ventilation duct and blew up the
planet.
Tendo's head returned to normal, and he nodded reluctantly. "I...
guess I did. Well, Lone Stallion, I'm counting on you!" With a tearful
nod, he terminated the connection.
Great.
##I guess...
[Look! They're locked in the tractor beam of that ship!] Belch
exclaimed, pointing at the scene in front of them. Lone Stallion
nodded
absent-mindedly.
Might be better if you showed the scene.
##Indeed.
"I got everything under control," he said with a confident wave
of
his hand. Grinning, he pushed a large red button. Whenever someone
Now a Warner Bro's joke? You might have to expand the disclaimer.
##I didn't mean to!
"LOCO MOKO TACKY FIC!" he shouted, and a huge orb of energy shot
from the hands, clipping the radar dish off of the top of the
FaceFault
Ship. Belch nodded approvingly.
Outlaw Star does this same thing with the arms, oddly enough.
##Outlaw Star? Who's that?
"...And an orb of energy," the man finished. "And I'm getting a
reading that it was formed from arrogance!"
They can measure this? Sensors these days.
##You bet!
Thunder Helmet jerked his head up at the last word. Slipping the
visor over his eyes, he announced, "Only ONE man owneth such a
ridiculous amount of arrogance, and that man beeth LONE STALLION! I
shall destroy that arrogant fiend!" A man held up a cardboard cut-out
of
a lightning bolt.
I was wondering when the old-style speak would begin.
##It simply wouldn't be Kuno...
The creature shook its head and fumbled around, eventually
holding
Not sure, but I think those its should be it's
##Nope. It's is a contraction of it is, while its is a possessive
adjective.
[We're here to help you!] the creature insisted, eyeing the
princess's fist warily. She lowered it and removed the brass knuckles.
suggest ACME brass knuckles IMHO
##Naw, no Warner Bros here, (on purpose)
"Thou art no doubt marveling at the skill we have presented in
capturing
thou. Our clever scheme to take thy planet's supply of hair is truly
the
should that be capturing thee?
##Indeed.
He was later evicted from Thunder Helmet's dishonor guard.
via an airlock suggesed.
##Heh.
Finishing his speech, Helmet stepped up to the car and fumbled
with
the latch. He looked up at the men surrounding him and fumbled with it
some more. After banging on the door a few times, he flipped his visor
up and asked, "Does anyone got a key or somethin'??
Sound like Ranma now.
##Oh, well.
Colonel Hibiki sighed and stepped up. After a careful analysis of
the door and it's entire surface area, he held up a straight finger.
His middle one?
##No! This a FAMILY fic, thank you very much... <cough>
Great concept. And good to see a comedy fic.
##It was gnawing at my brain. I'm sure you understand.
Leif Johnson
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