What can I add after a tag like that?
How about "Ooops."
Let's try this again.
Ja Ne!
Slacker
=====
Always listen to experts. They'll tell you
what can't be done, and why. Then do it.
--Lazarus Long
I am...(Drumroll, please)...Slacker!
KSC, Knight of Discordia, Lord of Discord
Member of the Church of Ami & Makoto
"All Hail Eris! Eris All Hail! Hail, Hail! Hail, Yes!"
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail - Free email you can access from anywhere!
http://mail.yahoo.com/
-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: Revenge.txt
-- Desc: Revenge.txt
I hate Mondays. I always have and I always
will. Personally, I think Mondays are a waste
of time. Most of the bad thing that have
happened to me happen on Mondays. And today I
was about to get a whole new reason to hate
Monday.
It started out like any other Monday: Get
up way too early after staying awake way too
late Sunday night. Go to work. Try not to slip
into catatonia. (This working for living thing
SUCKS.)
Get off of work and go to classes. Try to
stay awake during class. Who knows, something
important might be said.
After classes, go home. Dump my books and
gear in my room, slip into my ratty old shorts
and t-shirt, and go to the computer. Same as
usually, right?
Well, then it got weird.
******************
"Ah, time to feed my addiction." So
saying, I went to check on my e-mail. <Wonder
if there's anything interesting from the FFML?>
I poured through the latest offerings.
<Another banned thread? What is that now? Three
in the last month? Sheesh.>
Then I had a pleasant surprise. "Hey!
Wilson wrote me back. Wonder what he has to say
this time?"
As I read through the message and sipped at
my Dew, one part jumped out at me.
"He going to do a Revenge fic? Is he nuts?
You'd have to be crazy to write one of those
things! Ain't no way, I'd EVER write one of
those!"
"You say that like you actually have a
choice in the matter."
<Okay. Who was that?> I turned my head and
looked to my right. Sitting on the couch in
front of the TV were two women, one with red
hair and one with black. In bikinis. The red-
head was wearing silver, and her friend was
wearing yellow.
<They look like the... Nah.>
"What the hell?" I muttered. "Who are you,
and what are you doing in here?"
"We're the Lovely Angels, of course. And
you're the author know as Slacker. And this...
is a Revenge fic." The redhead announced with a
nasty grin.
"Right." I looked at my Dew can. "What the
hell's in this? I gotta cut back."
"Hate to burst your bubble, chum, but we
ARE the Lovely Angels and you are so screwed."
Kei announced with glee.
"Why? I haven't written anything with you
guys in it. The closest I've ever came is that
spamfic...." <Oooooh, damn.> "You guys are
canon, right?" <Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease, let
them be canon!>
In response, Yuri grinned, revealing slight
fangs. She then cracked her knuckles, reached
behind her, and pulled out a red umbrella.
<Oh, DAMN! Okay, I'm screwed.>
I decided to play nonchalant. "So, what are
you going to do to me?"
By the grins on their faces, I didn't
succeed.
<Right then. Time to leave.> I bolted from
my chair and proceeded to run out the door. The
fact that they weren't even trying to chase me
should have alerted me that something was up,
but I wasn't exactly coherent at that point.
I turned to look behind me to see if they
were behind me, which is why I was surprised
when I slammed into someone. I hit the ground on
my ass, of course. The other person wasn't even
moved.
<Wha? Who?> I looked up at him. Black hair.
Earrings. Bracers. Vest. Sash made out of
pantyhose. <Oh, SHIT!>
"Um, hi?" I managed in a pitch I hadn't hit
since puberty.
"Do you know what I'm going to do to you?"
Taro asked in a remarkable pleasant tone.
"Let me go?" I asked in a hopeful voice.
Taro just grinned in response. It wasn't a
nice grin.
The next thing I know, I'm in pain. Quite a
lot of pain, too. And I'm screaming like a
schoolgirl. (Hey, I don't have high pain
tolerances, okay?) Then, thankfully, I passed
out.
***************
I came to in a dark alley. Taro, Ranma, and
Ryoga were all towering over me in male form.
"Nice of you to rejoin us." Ranma calmly
commented. "Have a nice nap?"
"Not really. So is this the point where you
hose me down in Jusenkyo water?"
"Well, I was in favor of that option, but
Taro convinced us that it had been done to
death in the original set of Revenge fics."
Ranma replied.
"So what are you going to do?" <No
Jusenkyo. Thank god.>
Ryoga spoke up "Well, we said to ourselves
`What would be the absolute worst thing we
could do to you?' We had a lot of really nasty
ideas picked out, too. Then Taro, sadistic
bastard that he is..."
"And damn proud of it." Taro interjected.
"Ahem." Ryoga continued "Any ways, Taro
came up with a very nasty evil idea. So we used
it. Normally, we wouldn't even do this to the
nasty demon that hell could produce, but... you
stuck us as girls for 150 years. You earned
it."
I started to stand up and eliminate some of
the height difference between us. (Hell, at 5'
10" I'm taller than Ranma and Ryoga.) Then I
realized something: I was standing up. And my
legs were really cold.
I looked down. I was wearing a sailor fuku.
A PINK sailor fuku. <Oh, no.>
I reached up to my hair. Weird hairstyle,
check. Pink? Check. <Oh, GOD, NO!>
Then Taro tossed me something. I grabbed it
by reflex. It was a mirror. I looked into it.
Red eyes framed by pink hair stared back. I was
in the body of Chibi-Usa. I could feel cheesy
attack phrases trying to work their way into my
mind already.
I did the only ting you can do when you're
confronted with something like that: I
screamed.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
And then I passed out, again.
********************
"You know, that really was a bit harsh for
a single spamfic." Ryoga commented as they
walked away from the alley.
"You didn't take a look at his computer."
Taro retorted.
"What do you mean?" Ranma asked.
"He was writing a sequel."
"Oh." Ryoga thought about that for a while.
"Okay, then."
**********************
I came to in the alley again. This time
though, I wasn't on the ground. I was being
held to the chest of someone.
"Small Lady? Are you all right?"
I know that voice. I looked up. Green hair,
red eyes, tanned skin. Sailor Pluto. And she
was holding me in her lap. What do you know,
every cloud has a silver lining, after all.
********************
Author's notes:
What can I say? I can hear flames being lit
now. I was reading the Revenge Wars and I
thought `You know some of these babies are
really good. To bad no one's written any for a
while.' Then Andrew Wilson sent me three
paragraphs or so of what a revenge fic of his
would look like. Then after I challenged him to
write it, he told me to go first.
So now I have just one thing more to say
before I go: Tag Andrew, you're it.