It's finally done. I like C&C; don't you? Mmmm...tasty...
========================================
Shin Slurpee Evangelion
By Jackson Ferrell (TowelMan42@juno.com)
Well, after an incredibly and undeniably long respite from the absurdity
that is Shin Slurpee Evangelion, I afflict you, my readers, with yet
another episode. Standard Slurpee warnings apply. I don't really have
much else to say, so let's get down to brass tacks, okay?
OW! Hey, get those brass tacks out of here! It's just a figure of
speech, you know; it's not meant to be literal. Ooh, my poor fingers.
How will I ever type this out? Um...I'll persevere. Here we go.
-----------------------------
The doorbell rang.
"Doorbell," Misato said to herself, sleepily assessing the situation.
She put down her spoonful of Beerios and glanced at the door. Now, if
Shinji and Asuka had left for school already, that meant she was the only
one in the house. And in that case, she should answer the door herself.
Right. Misato stood up, went to the door, and opened it.
"Hi, Misato-san! How are you!" chorused two of Shinji's friends. What
were their names? Yes, Touji, the one on the right. The other, with the
glasses, was...um...darn. She couldn't remember.
It suddenly occurred to her that they had asked her a question.
"Ah...fine. Thanks," she replied. Still pretty tired. Maybe she'd feel
more alert after finishing the Beerios, or if that didn't work, a can of
beer.
"Is Shinji here?" asked the one in the glasses. Kensuke! That was it.
"We're ready to head off for school."
Shinji. He lived here. Was he here right now? Misato thought for a
few seconds, then determined the answer. "No...think he left already.
He and Asuka, yeah." She nodded. "Left pretty early."
The two boys turned and looked at each other. "This can't be good,"
Touji said, causing Misato to wonder just why they didn't want Shinji
going to school. Especially when they had just said they were going
there with him. Touji cleared his throat. "Okay, well, we'd better be
heading off too, if he's not here."
"G'bye, Misato-san!"
"G'bye, Misato-san!"
"Yeah," Misato said. "Bye." She closed the door and returned to her
Beerios.
*****************************
Shin Slurpee Evangelion
SLURPEE 0:7 - Ironic
Featuring All-New Songs by Five Iron Frenzy!
*****************************
Disaster had struck, Touji was certain. Reports abounded of Shinji and
Asuka holding hands on the way to school. The rumor mill was flying that
day; even as he'd entered the school building, a girl he didn't know at
all had come up to him, holding a pencil and clipboard, and asked him his
opinion on the recent developments between his best friend and worst
enemy. They sat next to each other in class, and he was certain they
were sending messages back and forth over the computers. He hadn't
really _seen_ them sending anything, but he was certain nonetheless. And
for that reason, he called an emergency top-secret lunch meeting of WHAC.
"Gentlemen," he addressed the other two members, "disaster has struck."
"Tell me about it. I'm _sure_ I failed that algebra test."
"That's not what I meant, David," Touji explained. "Have you two
noticed how Shinji and Asuka have been behaving? Like toward each other?
I've seen worse examples of PDA, but considering who we're talking
about, it's extreme!"
"Yeah, really!" Kensuke affirmed, leaning back in his desk. "Shinji has
so little spine, I never thought he'd get together with anyone. Let
alone Asuka. And how can he stand _being_ around her, even if he finds
her attractive?"
Touji nodded. "I dunno, but it's obvious that we have a new and worse
problem on our hands. What are we going to do about it?" A pause
occurred, and then David spoke.
"Well, I have no idea. I've been thinking about this, and I determined
that I don't have quite the connection to Shinji that either of you do.
It's true that the two of us are fellow Eva pilots, but that's more of a
business relationship than anything. Frankly, I'm only a member of this
club because I hate Asuka.
"And another thing I've been considering, what good is it to join a hate
club? I don't hate Asuka so vehemently that I'm going to devote my
lunches to the cause. I'd rather be reading Marx right now. ...I guess
I just don't think it's healthy to be that serious about something so
negative. Asuka's not my most favorite person in the world, by far, but
that's no reason for me to antagonize her. Do you know what I'm saying?"
"That you want to quit?" Kensuke said incredulously.
"Yes."
Touji thought about the things David had said. "Uh, okay," he finally
concluded. "I guess if you have no reason to be in this, there's no
point in making you stay a member."
"WHAT?!? You're just going to let him quit, like that?"
"Thanks for understanding," David said to Touji. "Guess I'll be reading
some old-school communist propaganda now, so I'll catch you later." He
left, with Kensuke still railing.
"You can't just drop out on us now, in our direst hour of need! Don't
let him get away with this, Touji! ...Oh, isn't that just like you,
Bever, wimping out when things get difficult!" he called down the hall to
the retreating form of the 4th Child. "Well, mark my words, WHAC will
never forget this dissention and treachery! I, Kensuke Aida, swear
on...er...my math textbook, that I will never rest until you have paid in
full for your evil!"
Touji laid a hand on his friend's shoulder and pulled him back into the
classroom. "Shut up, Kensuke."
"A hot dog?" Asuka asked.
"Uh, yeah," Shinji replied nervously, scratching the back of his head.
"I thought you'd like it, 'cause you always want American food...I, I
wrapped it in tinfoil to keep it hot."
"It's cold," she said coldly. Then, she thought better of it, smiled,
and said, "But hey, I've eaten cold pizza before. Thanks, Shinji."
Shinji was stunned. His mind, acting on autopilot, concluded that the
best thing to do was nod, sit down, and open his own lunch, which
contained a peanut butter sandwich which simply couldn't stack up against
the superlative sandwiches of Suzuhara-sama. So he sat.
Asuka sat too. "Hey, Eva practice today? I forgot to ask Misato."
**And darned if I'm gonna ask Ayanami,** she thought.
"Yes, of course," Shinji affirmed.
"Great! I get to out-synch your butt! You know you can't stack up
against me, Third Child. I was 5 points your superior against the
Thirteenth Angel."
Shinji shrugged and took a drink of soda. "Can't argue with that..."
**No, no, no!** Asuka shouted inside her head. **Dummkopf!** Asuka
still tended to think in German from time to time, even after so much
time spent in Japan. **Doesn't he see when I want a challenge? Can't
even trash-talk! And that's a sure way to end a conversation,
there...'Can't argue with that'! What do you say if he just agrees with
you?**
Shinji was thinking, as well, which was probably why he was so quiet.
**She said 'thank you.' That's so strange; I don't think she's ever
thanked me for fixing her lunch before. Wow. Say, this is a really good
sandwich.**
Asuka recalled last night. The tsunami hadn't done much damage to the
city; the school was still intact, and most of the buildings she'd seen
that morning looked okay. **Well, that's what you get when you live in
an Angel-resistant city.** She decided _not_ to think about the fact
that she and Shinji were, in a sense, going out. That they had kissed
last night. Because thinking about such things would require much
thought, and she would rather talk. Much less difficult than thinking,
except with Shinji.
Shinji was still quiet. Asuka tried to think of things to say. So the
silence continued for a little longer, before Asuka said:
"Hey, let's skip!"
Shinji appeared puzzled, his left eyebrow rising. "Skip? ...uh, all
right..." He stood up and began skipping.
"No! Brainless baka! I meant skip school!" It was a great idea, an
idea deserving of being conceived by her magnificent brain. "Come on,
let's have some fun."
Shinji had always had a critical spine deficiency; now, his critical
spine deficiency was pulling him in two different directions. He burst
into sweat and stammered, "Uhm, u-uh, well..." On the one hand, he had
no desire to get busted by his teacher and get into trouble. On the
other hand, he desired to make Asuka happy by going along with her great
idea, and he knew her pride would be hurt if he didn't. Not that she'd
show it or anything.
"Well?" she asked him impatiently. "You're not chicken, are you?"
**Sensei's gonna kill me,** he thought.
The word "chicken" triggered a Five Iron Frenzy song in his brain. **No
cathartic plot to thicken; to quote the vernacular, I'd say that you're
_chicken_!** Reese Roper told him inside his head. **We're goin'
nowhere! And it's happenin' fast!**
"Sure!" he said, enthusiastically. It would be fun, and he was tired of
going nowhere fast.
Asuka smiled. "Thought so. Let's blow this joint."
-----------------------------
"Hey," Jackson Ferrell said, defending himself to his audience of fellow
anime freaks. "I know it was kind of forced, but we haven't had a single
song all episode yet. And besides, the whole 'fic has been going nowhere
fast for quite some time. So you can't blame me."
Jackson returned to typing, well aware that his readers _could_ in fact
blame him.
-----------------------------
The teacher, in all his absentminded glory, utterly failed to notice the
absence of Shinji and Asuka. He resumed the morning's lecture, droning
on about the Second Impact (surprise!). On the other hand, more
perceptive individuals observed this development with varying reactions.
Girls spoke in hushed whispers of broom closets. Ruri smiled
contentedly, knowing that Shinji, though he was almost certainly with
Asuka, didn't have the courage to do any such thing. Rei made nothing of
the circumstance and stared out the window. So did David.
Touji and Kensuke, conversely, made everything of it. --Dude, Shinji
and Asuka aren't here,-- typed the latter.
--I noticed,-- Touji responded.
--What do you make of it?--
--It's a problem. I fear he's lost to the dark side.--
--Now you're pulling those Star Wars references too. Isn't that David's
department?--
--True. But Shinji's seriously attached to Asuka, if they're ditching
school together.-- Touji sent the message, paused, and followed it up
with: --What'll we do?--
--Something drastic. I don't know what.--
Touji looked around the room, his eyes finally resting on David Bever.
He was a smart one, that David Bever. They could have used his intellect
in this situation. But now, he was gone. The trio was truly down to two
at this point. --We need more members,-- he determined.
--Right on. With such low numbers, we have no power. It's the water
pistol of scheming against the AT Field of love.--
--That's one messed up metaphor.--
--So?-- Kensuke typed, going defensive. He prepared to prepare a
justification of why it wasn't a weird metaphor, but the Angel Alarm
blared, and the Angel attack drills began. Another invader had reared
its ugly head in Tokyo-3. David and Rei departed to combat it, wondering
where their fellow pilots were.
Shinji and Asuka quietly walked along the shore of Tokyo Bay, hand in
hand, enjoying the crisp air and the noonday sun beaming down warmly.
They looked about at the others in the vicinity, who walked, fished, or
sat on benches and engaged in various activities. The two of them
leisurely strolled in silence, walking in the glow of each other's
majestic presence. They would have continued to do so if Tokyo Bay had
not suddenly swelled up and spat a giant green part of itself high into
the air, a column of lime-colored liquid that prepared to crash down to
earth again on the shore.
The occurrence was so unexpected and odd that Shinji initially just
halted and watched it. Then, the blaring alarm in conjunction with this
green presence registered in his head, and he shouted. "Angel, Asuka!
Run!"
"I already figured that out, baka Shinji!" Asuka indeed had, and she
was now running, pulling the Third Child along after her. They ran
through crowds of evacuating people who had left their laptops, fishing
poles, sandwiches, and other articles behind. "We've got to get to the
HQ!"
Shinji decided not to respond, as his attention was occupied with
running all-out. He sprinted through crowds, trying to keep up with
Asuka while simultaneously hoping the Angel wasn't close to them at all.
He didn't dare stop to look back; his ears, anyway, told him that danger
was extremely close indeed.
He shoved through a crowd of men with briefcases, holding tight to the
hand of his Asuka. Unfortunately, the sheer density and superfluity of
these men with briefcases caused his grip to break. Without a handhold
in the crowd, he was jostled and thrown about, one small boy in a sea of
individuals concerned only with self-preservation. **It's amazing how
fast a pleasant experience can turn ugly,** he thought. **Isn't it
ironic. It's like rain on your wedding day.** He was remarkably calm,
in spite of the threat of impending doom and the bruises he was quickly
incurring.
He looked back, and in the face of green amorphous death, his calmness
disintegrated like copper in acid. The Angel was close, gaining, and
gigantic. It didn't fill his field of vision, entirely, but it sure
filled his mind. He was a deer staring into headlights.
That is, until a familiar hand grasped his own and nearly pulled him off
his feet. "Coming through! Out of our way, Eva Pilots take priority!
Clear off, businessmen!" **Asuka is like an angel,** Shinji reflected,
following her blitz of salvation through the mob. He was very glad
indeed.
At a depth of the usual 4K meters, plus a few hundred to the right,
Gendo Ikari frowned. This, in itself, wasn't particularly odd either.
"The 14th Angel seemed to appear out of nowhere," he observed. He called
it a nasty name, then turned his attention to his staff. "Doctor
Akagi--have you determined how it did that?"
"Not for certain," Ritsuko replied, contemplating a screenful of
gathered data. "My theory is that it's able to mask its blood type and
AT field projection, so that we couldn't detect it until it struck."
Noticing the Angel's recorded density and heat energy, she added, "It
appears to be a liquid."
"It must have disguised itself as water," Maya concluded.
"Strange." The Commander pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
"We need a strategy to combat it."
"Hey, why not just throw the Fifth Child at it?" Misato suggested. "He
should tear it to bits in seconds, considering how well he did against
the last one."
"I do not believe it will be that easy, but we shall put
his...skills...to use. Have any of the pilots arrived?"
"Yes, Commander," replied Ritsuko, reviewing recent keycard-access
records. "The First, Fourth, and Fifth Children have arrived, and the
latter two are currently changing into their plugsuits. They should be
ready soon."
Meanwhile, Luke Ferrell was changing into his plugsuit, a blue thing
made of plastic and spandex, with chest and shoulder pads painted yellow.
"Messed-up suits..." he observed.
"Yeah," said a voice from the changing area next to him, in English.
"They're tight, and I don't mean as in phat and pimpin'."
"Eh?" Luke was surprised to hear his native language.
"I mean they're not incredibly comfortable. They're supposed to _help_
your synchronization, but I--"
Luke interrupted the guy next to him. "I heard you okay. But you speak
English?"
"Yeah. Of course. I'm from America. We haven't met, have we?"
"Oh. No, I'm Luke Ferrell, the Fifth Child. I'm from America too.
They didn't introduce me to the other pilots, 'cause I don't speak
Japanese, I guess. But I sorta met the girl in the red one."
"Oh, that's Asuka. She can be a pain, like these plugsuits. Not in the
same way, but...well, anyway, I'm David Bever, the Fourth Child. Pleased
to meet you."
(schupp)
"Yeah, same here."
(schupp)
Fifteen minutes later, a number of things had been accomplished. Three
of the children sat in entry plugs, their Evas prepared to launch, and
the entire city had entered defensive mode. However, Shinji and Asuka
still hadn't arrived. "Can we afford to wait any longer?" Misato asked.
"I believe we can," Gendo said. "Nonetheless, the threat of the Angel
above will remain present until we exterminate it. By constantly taking
a defensive posture, we cannot achieve this, and we have no idea how long
the Second and Third Children may be in coming. Therefore, our currently
available pilots will act as the first strike force, to be backed up by
the other two once they arrive."
"Okay," Misato said, quickly observing the front monitor. It displayed
pilot data: Rei's synchronization ratio was holding at 61.2%, David's at
50.7%, and Luke's at 0.5%. **Oh well--Luke Skywalker he ain't,** she
thought. "Are you three ready?"
"Hai," Rei and David confirmed.
"Huh?" Luke asked.
"Awesome. Disengage the restraints." NERV Technicians called out the
progress of the procedure until all the restraints were off.
"Units 00, 03, and 05 cleared for launch," Ritsuko finally announced.
"On your mark, Major."
"Let's go, then! Evas LAUNCH!"
"Did you just hear something?" Shinji asked. "Like a whoosh, and huge
masses of metal gliding along metal rails?"
"Not a thing. Keep crawling."
So, Shinji and Asuka continued crawling through the underground...er,
crawlspace...in silence. "You know," Shinji said after a few moments, "I
hope--I, I mean, you must have learned from our past experience crawling
around down here, and know where you're going. Right?"
"I'm certain it's a shortcut; it's much more direct than taking the
elevator. I may like you, but I don't like you questioning my authority
as leader, Third Child."
"O-okay, sorry."
"I've got an attack plan," David Bever said, pointing toward the 14th
Angel. Quiescent, quivering, and green, it sat at some three hundred
meters from the Evas' emergence points. "It doesn't look too dangerous,
so you two soften it up from long range. I'll approach on the right
flank and finish it up in close combat."
"A good plan," Rei confirmed, equipping a machine gun. As David ran off
to the right, she began to fire into the Angel, whose AT field halted a
number of the bullets. Those that penetrated caused it to increase
quivering, spattering small green droplets onto the pavement. Luke,
however, wasn't firing anything. His MP Eva was holding its head
instead.
"Luke!" David called. "How come you're not firing?"
"Head hurts..." he responded, his voice strained. Eva-05 staggered,
seemed to regain its balance, then fell to its knees. Its hands caught
it and held it, lying on the ground, looking like it might throw up. If
Evas could throw up.
Rei continued firing. "If you do not feel capable, you might want to
return to HQ. Will you be able to fight?"
"I think...I think I...aghhhh!" The Eva held its head. "AGGGGGHHHHHH!
No--I, ow--aaaaaaAAAAAAAAA--" Abruptly, as before, Luke's comm channel
cut out. The Eva's eyes flashed reddish-purple with a momentary flicker
of unearthly light. It rose to its feet.
"Hey, you all right now?" David asked.
"RAAAAARRRGGHHHHHHHH," responded Unit 05, charging madly across the
cityscape, completely unarmed, rushing the Angel.
"Holy crap!" Hyuuga exclaimed. "It happened again--this time the
pilot's synch percentage is 166.4%! How is this happening?"
"Augmented mental instability," Gendo replied evenly.
Everyone expressed their awe at the increase in percentage. Ritsuko
pulled out a pocket calculator.
Roaring and howling, Unit 05 blitzed toward the green blob of
God-knows-what, which began to emit aquamarine energy blasts. In spite
of incurring hits from these, the berserk mecha charged onward, leaping
into the air and ripping through its target with steel fingers. It bit
and clawed and tore.
"Dude, that thing is insane," David exclaimed, watching from behind a
building, progressive katana drawn. This mania was all-new to him.
As the Eva continued to unleash its insanity upon its target, a plane of
red energy briefly flickered behind it. Then, suddenly, it found an AT
field pressing at its back, shoving it into the Angel. It thrashed
around inside, thrusting its head outside the Angel and emitting a cry of
pain. The AT field pushed its head back in, contracting against the
green blob.
Rei observed where the splattered drops of Angel had fallen previously,
due to the attacks of her and Luke. The pavement was melting in those
spots. "Oh," she said, understanding.
"Okay, screw close combat," David decided, retracting the progressive
katana and placing it back in his Eva's shoulder. He grabbed a pair of
Uzis. "How are we going to get him out of there?"
"However you do it, do it quickly," Misato urged through the comm
channel. "His armor integrity is already at 50% and falling--and at such
a high synch-rate, you can bet he's feeling every bit of it."
"Roger," David confirmed. "Rei, you and I will distract it with
gunfire. Hopefully it'll let up its defenses enough for him to get out.
Target the right side there. Ready?"
"Ready."
"GO!"
Eva-03 leapt onto the building in front of it, Uzis spitting bullets,
while Eva-00 emptied its machine gun into the same point. As green
sludge spattered from the wounds, the Eva pilots detected increasing
weakness in the AT field at that point. "Keep it up, and hope he has the
sense to get out through that hole," David advised. Rei, inside her
plug, nodded.
"Armor integrity is down to 23%," Misato reported. "He can't hold out
much longer."
The pilots continued their assault. Finally, Rei called, "Cease fire."
The targeted area took a grey tint, and then a screaming, roaring mass of
scarred and pocked metal burst through in an explosion of goo. The
howling thing-only-barely-recognizable-as-an-Eva fled the Angel, running
away with a bad limp.
"Okay," asked David, "now what?"
"Maya," Doctor Akagi said.
"Yes, sempai?"
"Carry the Fifth Child's synch percentage out to six more decimal
places." Maya looked skeptical, but obeyed the order. One of the
numbers on the screen changed, slowly adding digits to its end. The last
four were zeroes. "166.375%. Just as I thought; the third power of
5.5."
After a moment's pause, Shigeru Aoba observed, "Okay, this is just
_weird_..."
Meanwhile, back up top, the Angel lurched. It hurled itself into the
air, several hundred meters above the heads of Units 00 and 03. The
former had only a second to roll out of the way before the green blob
came crashing to the ground, the force of its impact launching pavement
fragments into the air. Rei quickly began to distance herself from it.
David fired another round from an Uzi at it. "I guess that's what," he
said, taking cover behind a building to avoid counterfire. The
aquamarine energy blasts exploded against the building's facade. "We
need a plan."
"I have an idea," Rei stated.
Unit 03 looked her way. "What is it?" asked its pilot.
"The core must be within the Angel, since it is not externally visible.
I would hypothesize that it is in the center of the Angel. Of our
long-range weapons, our laser weapons would be best suited to penetrating
such a distance. However, in order to accurately target the core, one of
us must enter the Angel and determine the core's exact location."
David thought about that, while avoiding another of his adversary's
flying leaps. "Hey, if Luke's already been in there, maybe his Unit
gathered the data. Um, Doctor Akagi?"
"Sorry, but apparently, when berserk, an Eva can't transmit data such as
that."
"Sounds like a good plan, though," Misato assented. "Go for it!"
"Oh. Well, since you've got better aim than I do, Rei, I guess I'll be
the one to go in..." Eva-03 drew its progressive katana again, dropping
one Uzi. "Ready?"
"Ready," Rei responded, swapping her machine gun for a laser rifle.
"Here goes!" David called, rushing the Angel. A quick slash of the
progressive katana opened a hole in its AT field, through which David
dove, falling into the Angel. "OWWW! Man, it burns!"
"Find the core quickly," Rei advised.
"Gah," responded the infiltrator. "Urgh. Too thick...can't see a
thing." The comm channel remained silent for a moment. "It's hard to
move around in here--gyauOWW! My THIGH!!"
"It's already eaten through the thigh armor is why it hurts," Misato's
voice reported. "Hurry, David; the sooner, the better!"
The Angel fired another salvo of energy blasts at Rei, who attempted to
dodge them. Unfortunately, the laser rifle encumbered her, and her Eva
unit's chest got nailed. She let out a muffled gasp of pain.
Nonetheless, David still dominated the muffled gasp of pain market, due
to his constant burning sensation.
As if sensing the pilots' impending completion of their goal, the 14th
Angel increased the intensity of its attack. Further blasts of energy
forced Rei to take cover, and then to take cover again when they
destroyed that behind which she was taking cover. Weaving from barrier
to barrier, she waited for David to relay the information.
Finally, his straining voice came through the comm system. "There! I
transferred it...to your Eva. Fire quickly...ugh!" And, kneeling to
target, Rei did so.
Fortunately, instead of exploding, the Angel merely ceased movement and
AT-field-havement. David was met with no resistance as he extricated his
Evangelion from the remaining mess. And, equally fortunately, the
Angel's external membrane kept its acidic innards from leaking out and
causing more damage to Tokyo-3's infrastructure. It was another victory
for the side of justi--no, wait, never mind.
"We're here!" Asuka announced, entering Central Dogma, fully plugsuited.
Faces turned. "Are we just in time to defeat the Angel?"
"Actually, you're five minutes late," replied Commander Ikari
impassively. Asuka looked surprised. "What is the reason for your
tardiness?"
Shinji shrugged. "Asuka said she knew a shortcut down here...and we
were stuck in a bad spot when the Angel struck. Big crowds."
"And where was that?"
"Ah, Tokyo Bay..."
"So." Gendo Ikari's glasses, tilted at just the right angle, created a
reflection that masked his eyes. As he moved his head slightly, NERV
technicians two floors up monitored the change and correspondingly
adjusted the lighting, maintaining the reflection. "Instead of being at
school when the Angel attacked, as you should have been, you skipped
school and went to Tokyo Bay. Am I correct?"
"Yeah," Shinji replied, one hand on the back of his head. Asuka didn't
seem up to making any replies; she was still dealing with the fact that
she'd missed fighting Number 14.
"Well. To make up for the missed experience in fighting the Angel, you
have an hour of training: thirty minutes in the sim-plugs, and thirty
more with Chop Chop Master Onion. Furthermore, I do not expect, in the
future, for either of you to behave in such irresponsible ways that would
interfere with your duties as Eva pilots. Major Katsuragi, as your
guardian, will discuss this incident with you and your teacher. Correct,
Major?"
"Right," Misato assented. "Children, you can expect that we'll talk
about this after you're done training. Until then, go get 'em!" And the
Second and Third Children left for the simulation plugs.
Asuka hadn't been herself, Shinji reflected, after dinner, as he tackled
his science homework. During training, she had seemed substaintially
less aggressive than normal, behaving more like Ayanami would. No, even
Ayanami approached her training with a quiet determination, whereas Asuka
seemed to just be going through the motions. And then, when Misato
talked to them about what they'd done, she hardly said anything, merely
nodding periodically. Even when Misato asked her why she had skipped
school, she just shrugged and muttered, "Doesn't matter." She hadn't
said much at dinner, either. And hey, where was she now?
So, our fearless hero emerged from his room and found Misato having a
beer in the living room. "Uh...Misato-san? Have you seen Asuka?" he
asked.
"Yeah," replied Misato, pointing, "she's out on the deck, just sitting
there. Do you have any idea what's going on?"
"The deck?" Shinji asked. He looked out the window, where a figure sat,
holding its knees, its red hair soaked with rain. It was hard to see,
for the glass and the rain. "I don't know."
"She's been so down today. I have no idea why."
Misato sipped her beer slowly, her eyes locked with those of her ward.
She waited a few moments, then said, "Maybe you ought to ask her."
Shinji turned his gaze back toward the window, partly to break eye
contact with Misato. He squinted. "Er," he decided with more resolution
than was customary for him to decide things with, but still a modicum of
resolution, "I'll go find out." He opened the door and stepped out into
the rain.
"Go away," said Asuka into her knees, in a tone of voice that did not
communicate, "I need comfort." Rather, it communicated, "I don't need
your comfort, I'd rather be alone right now, and I don't want to see or
be seen by anyone, so just _go away_!" It was extremely difficult for
Shinji not to give up and go away at that point.
On the other hand, as he tried to turn and leave, he found that it was
utterly impossible for him to give up. "I-I can't," he said. And he sat
down beside Asuka. In the rain.
"Why are you, uh, out here?" he asked tentatively, after a moment's
silence.
"Because I _walked_ out here," Asuka told her knees fiercely.
"Okay. Um, I'll just sit here, then...i-if that's all right." Thus the
conversation died a painful death.
However, it was resurrected when Asuka observed, "I like the rain." She
paused. "I think I'd hate it if things were better. You know?"
"No," Shinji said.
"Well, I never get a chance to defeat any Angels. I have the skill--I
know I do! But it seems like fate or something is conspiring against me,
and I always get injured, or come late, and that Communist cretin gets to
be the hero--"
"Communist cretin?"
"Bever. He beat the last two Angels, and I got hospitalized and missed
that one entirely! Just because my shortcut wasn't short enough! Why?
Why!" She was shouting, and Shinji supposed this to be a good sign.
Shouting Asuka was familiar, at least.
"I don't know," Shinji said. "But you only missed two. And you helped
a lot with the 13th."
"It's not fair! I want my own victories! All I want is just one
victory to call my own, where I don't get hospitalized or end up being
second banana to some head case!" She stopped shouting, then added, more
quietly, "I just want to win...to...protect people. And I end up needing
protecting. It's not fair..."
Asuka trailed off, and Shinji looked over at her, her wet bangs
plastered over her forehead. She was looking into her knees again, so he
carefully put his arm around her. In silence they sat together, becoming
thoroughly soaked, holding back the rain.
-----------------------------
Jackson intended to end SLURPEE 0:7 with some 'Yan Can Cook,' but he
couldn't figure out for the life of him when it was on, or on what
channel, even with the help of two different TV Weeks. So, he said,
"Forget it," and decided to finish things off in a different way. He
made a mental note to apologize to his fans, who certainly deserved some
Yan at this point.
-----------------------------
Rei swam. She swam the butterfly, but not in that thrashing way that
some swim it, aggressively kicking up water with much power and little
grace. Rather, she swam it with surprising fluidity. After a few laps,
she switched to freestyle, then floated on her back for awhile, staring
at the ceiling. One might have wondered what she was thinking at such a
time, and one might be surprised to find that it was very little. While
swimming, Rei simply swam.
Rei herself was surprised when, as she climbed up the ladder, a voice
called, "Hey, Rei." She turned her head to see the speaker.
David Bever waved from a deck chair, holding an SDAT and headphones in
his other hand. He must have entered rather quietly, not to be detected
by Rei. "How are you?" he asked.
Rei didn't answer. She finished climbing out of the pool, picked up her
towel, and walked over to him silently. "Why do people ask 'How are
you?'" she inquired.
"Well...some people do it because it's preferable to the silence. Gives
them something to talk about. Other people ask from ulterior
motives--sucking up, or concealing their hate for someone else.
Sometimes they ask to check up on you, and see if you're in good
condition, like a swim coach might after a meet..."
Rei recalled that Gendo had asked her, "How are you?" after the Angel
was defeated.
"...And finally, some people just wonder how you're doing and hope
you're doing all right. That's me," David said.
"I am fine." Rei thought a moment. "Are you?"
"Well, yeah. Thanks for asking."
"I thought you might not be, having been inside the Angel."
"Nahhh," David denied, reaffirming his fine-ness. "Since actual damage
to the body is minimal, the medics can fix you up easily. Once I wasn't
synched up with the Eva, most of me stopped hurting. Anyway...I wanted
you to hear this song. It's cool." He held out the SDAT to her.
She slipped on the headphones and pressed the 'play' button. A strange,
off-beat, twanging guitar line pumped itself into her ears, followed by
maniacal laughter.
"Oh don't you cry for the mom and pops," sang a familiar voice, "nothing
but dry eyes for integrity's demise. Hulking machines grind and whistles
blow! Corporate Darwinism crushes everything below! Advances in
efficiency, increasing productivity, are narrowing the margins for our
liberty..." The ominous, mechanical-sounding song continued, with
blaring brass and electric guitars.
After the song finished, David grinned at her. "What'd you think?"
"Interesting. What is it called?"
"'Giants,' by Five Iron Frenzy. It's about the abuses of Capitalism,
and monopolies. Did you catch the Adam Smith reference?"
"No...I find it difficult to make out the lyrics over the loud music.
May I see the lyric sheet?"
David handed it to her, and Rei read.
"Hello, Suzuhara residence."
A pause.
"Commander Ikari? Um...yes, this is Touji. How are--"
Another pause.
"You...what? For real? This isn't some kinda joke?"
A third pause, as Touji listened carefully.
"Oh. Yes, I understand. That's completely fine with me." Touji, once
again, paused. "A meeting? At NERV Headquarters, tomorrow? Yeah, I'll
be there." With this, Touji hung up.
"Dude, that was Commander Ikari?" asked Kensuke from the couch, holding
a controller, his finger hovering anxiously over the start button. "What
did he have to say?"
"He...uh...wants to join WHAC..."
-----------------------------
Jackson Ferrell did the usual, which is to say that he turned on his
midi of "Fly Me to the Moon," stood up from his computer, and began to
speak.
"Okay, I'm sorry that 'Yan Can Cook' didn't make it into this one!
Really sorry! The thing is, I've got this commitment to basing every Yan
segment in Slurpee off an actual 'Yan Can Cook' episode. And you know,
if I can't figure out when it's on, I can't watch eps to base it off of!
Sorry! I promise, I'll get some in when I can...
"Now, for the Special Thanks, and this Slurpee has a very Special Thanks
indeed. I'd like to thank you, my readers, for all the commentary you
give me, for reading my stuff, and for your patience as I took my
sabbatical. I know you wanted more Slurpee RIGHT NOW, but you've all
been exceptionally patient, and for the most part nobody's emailed me and
asked me how number 7's going. You guys are swell! Thanks also to
Alannis Morrisette, whose name I'm not sure how to spell, for 'Ironic.'"
Jackson assumed a dramatic tone of voice for the preview of SLURPEE 0:8.
"Is it the end for Rei Ayanami? The 15th Angel attacks Tokyo-3, and as
usual, the Evangelions are deployed to combat it, but Rei's entry plug is
violently smashed in the battle! What will happen? Will NERV have to
bring out a fresh clone? Will Rei confess that she "wants to unite with
Ikari-kun?" And how does Gendo's membership in WHAC relate to his Evil
Plan to Save the World? Find out next time, in SLURPEE 0:8 - Where the
Zero Meets the Fifteen!
"...Well, so long, and thanks for reading this," Jackson said, waving.
The midi finished. He turned it off and went to go have a granola bar or
something.
WANT MORE SLURPEE? Old Slurpees are available at
<members.tripod.com/~tina97>.
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