Nice to hear from you again:
Snippage throughout...
And I shall do likewise...
>Whereas the ground was dominated by the living, the
>massive buildings that were built so close together
>commanded the skies by seeming to stretch all the way to
>the heavens. They hemmed the populous in as though the
>streets were nothing more than an enormous maze designed
>for the gods to watch the indigenous population of
>Zanibat, the largest city on Delabar, scurry around like
>giant colony of lab rats.
like *a* giant colony
I look it over twice and still manage to overlook entire words. *Sigh*
>
>There was but one person manning the massive front desk.
>A single,
No comma; otherwise, it carries the suggestion that she is
unmarried. :)
She is. Hey, with that sort of personality, does it surprise you? On the
other hand, she is as great in bed as she believes. :)
>blonde woman that was young and wore a business
>suit that looked more suited for a boardroom than a
>receptionist.
You've got a sentence fragment, now. Suggest:
There was but one person manning the massive
front desk, a young blonde woman wearing a
business suit more suited for a boardroom
than a library reception desk.
Right. Actually I think I'm going to use all of your suggestions, so if it's
cut, assume I did.
>there might be some sort of cataclysm that would wipe our
>datadisks. Before you is the greatest suppository of books -"
>
>Kei began giggling. "Hey, Yuri. Why not try their War and
>Peace enema? I hear it's long, but satisfying, just the
>way you like it."
HAHAHAHA!!!
Ah, my crude, sexually tasteless humor has finally paid off. :)
>"Did I say something humorous?" the robot asked.
>
>
>"Ha, ha! I can see it now!" Kei interrupted, barely able
>to speak between laughs. "Come to Delabar and see the Ben
>Dover Book Suppository, where you'll leave sore but
>smarter. WAHAHA!"
:) The same thing could be said of hanging out with the Dirty Pair.
Ouch. Bad C+Cer. If I had any biscuits, I wouldn't let you have them. :)
Was hoping the 'Ben Dover' word play wasn't too obscure, despite how old the
joke is. It's one thing to hear it said out loud to get it, but reading it
might not be quite so obvious.
>
>Conroy made no effort to hide his jealousy. "I don't know
>how you manage to pick up so many women. Good looking ones too."
ones, too."
Must be that majestic worker-ant personality that lands him all that
female company. :P
Nah, It's that 'I'm really a secret agent/assassin pretending to be a
worker-ant' thing. Sort of like a bland version of James Bond. :)
>Another one came at them from the side and forced Kei to
>open fire. She was beginning to get worried. Not so much
>for herself, but for Iria, who was now on her own. True,
>the bounty hunter had done all right operating alone for
>years, but that did nothing to assuage Kei's fears. If
>anything happened to Iria while she was dealing with a
>pack of rolling garbage cans, she was never going to
>forgive herself.
Oh, the indignity of a 'garbage can' taking *you* out. ^_^
Heh.
>Smoke filled the air and the room became hotter as the
>incendiary device had done its work too well despite
>being muted. All too combustible books had caught on fire
>all around and it was spreading, becoming a miniature
>inferno.
Suggest: The all-too-combustible books had caught fire, and it was
spreading, becoming a miniature inferno.
Okay.
>
>It was time to risk using the prototype. In theory,
>activating it should be no problem for it had worked in
>the testing facilities. But that had been under ideal
>conditions, and one of the suspected drawbacks of the
>device was that it wasn't very durable. After being
>hammered in the explosion and with all of the other
>combat it had seen in the last couple of minutes (an
>eternity, to Alan's perceptions), it would take a minor
>miracle for the devise
device
Knew I was going to miss that one at least once.
>Yuri sighed as Kei shouted "Wait for me," and tried to
>catch up to Iria without giving the raven-haired
>troubleshooter so much as a backward glance. Between what
>had happened with the space station and the library,
>there could no longer be any doubts. It had spelled out
>things beyond a shadow of a doubt.
>
>It had turned into another one of 'those' missions again.
>
>"I'm almost getting too old for this," Yuri sighed as she
>shouted at Kei to wait up because of her bad leg.
Hehehe. The Dirty Pair are holding true to form, all right. ^_^
Only one space station destroyed and several buildings burned down in three
chapters. I'd say it's rather been a slow day for them. :)
>Yep, this is turning out to be a little longer than I
>originally thought. Still, hope you stick around for the
>ride. Hopefully next chapter will be out sooner, once I
>get a little more time to write. Things are still moving
>a little slowly, by necessity as the plot thickens, but
>expect things to move along a little faster in a chapter or two.
Very good, DB. The thick plottens, errr, the plot thickens.
Heh
Look
forward to the next chapter.
Hopefully won't take as long. I'm trying to get a little more out than a
chapter a month, but you know how real life is.
Thanks a lot for the C+C. It means a lot, especially for this fic in
particular since the C+C has been rather sparce for it.
D.B. Sommer