ffml-bounce@fanfic.com wrote:
Also slightly smaller thanks to Kichigai, Orlean, Richard
Beaubien, and Michael Hopcroft who all commented on the
last chapter and to everyone whose ever sent me comments
on this series. Those little notes of encouragement are
what makes me eager to work on this. :)
And here is a couple of little notes of encouragement for you, Ammadeau-san (kow-tows)
My first post in the FFML (nods). Good enough a post.
***
Kumiko the Demon-girl
(A Lime-flavored Original Fic)
By Ammadeau
Roy.Fokker@UNSpacy.org
http://www.thekeep.org/~amm/
Chapter 6: Soapsuds
Interesting title. This is, I presume, another gratuitous fanservice fic? :)
That was when Natsume heard a third, unfamiliar female
voice. A voice filled with such anger and sadness that she felt
moved by it even before she could make out the words. Feeling a
bit bad about it, but unable to control her curiosity, Natsume
leaned closer to listen in, thinking that the group had to be just
around the corner from her. She became so absorbed that she
failed to notice her glasses slipping closer and closer to the tip of
her nose.
"...you again, Kumiko, after... after... Somehow, you have
managed to sink even lower. I hope we shall never meet again,"
said the mysterious voice, ringing with a clear note of betrayal.
What could stir such powerful emotions? Despair and
melancholy bound together in a single act? Natsume could only
think of one thing: love. It became clear to her what had just
occurred. This woman had been in love with Kumiko. Whether
she ever had the chance to express that love, and what Kumiko
thought about it, Natsume did not know. That didn't change how
betrayed this woman felt at the sight of Kumiko and Ken together.
It surely must have broke her heart.
That's _one_ way of looking at it :)
"That's my business card, I'm starting my own business.
Just picked them up today," Natsume told her with a nervous grin.
"If you ever want to take me up on my coffee offer, just talk, or
even if you need a place to stay, give me a call. I'm usually
around."
Smooth and subtle, as you said.
Ayame nodded slowly as she slipped the card into her
pocket. "I will keep that in mind. Good-bye, Natsume-san."
"Good-bye, Ayame-san."
Once the beautiful woman could no longer be seen,
Natsume slumped up against the wall with a sigh of bliss. *I think
I'm in love.*
I couldn't believe I haven't seen this earlier... sheesh, it was so obvious a thing to happen too.
Question is... would this Akane-Ryoga like relationship last? The parallel to this is that when Akane/Ayame ever finds out...
Another thing is the type of presuming Natsume does... she may not be as delusional as Ryoga, yet she's living in a fantasy world full of false hopes with the upcoming relationship she has with Ayame. Presuming, of course, they do get a relationship... betcha they do ;)
Ken blushed, not exactly prepared to be enveloped by soft
female flesh, made all the more enticing by the sounds of delight
that she made. He was too busy remembering how to walk to be
concerned about escaping her clutches at the moment.
Ain't all men like that. ;P
Kumiko's eyes narrowed to slits as with a hard tug, the
collar appeared around Ken's neck, bringing them eye to eye. "It's
your stupid apartment, so do something about it, slave!"
I kinda agree with the other c&cer on this... she's quite on the downtrodden side, so why with the sudden anger? I could understand a bit of childish, hurt anger... but this kind of psychotic, demonic anger is reserved for those Kenshinisque, life-and-death moments, ne?
*I really am spineless,* he thought, unable to say anything
that might deepen the hurt she was feeling now.
"Warm," Kumiko said with a small giggle after her brief
storm of tears had passed.
Ken released her, blinking to realize she was back to her
true self once again; red eyes, bat wings, and all. She smiled up at
him, exposing the tips of her fangs, her normally cute appearance
spoiled by her wet and dirty face. He also noted that her body was
still filthy even though she had reverted to her black leather outfit,
causing him to idly wonder how her change worked exactly.
"How about a nice hot shower and a long nap?" Ken asked
her with a smile.
"Umm!" Kumiko agreed with enthusiastic nod, picking him
up and heading for the bathroom.
This type of cute really remind me of that Kumiko pic. :)
*Ayame-san.* As she polished the countertop, her
thoughts kept straying to the woman she had only just met, who
might have well been Kumiko's former lo-- She stopped that
thought before it could be completed, knowing that it would only
stir up sadness or other unwanted emotions in her now.
Interesting... the "I'll be a kind and gentle friend to my love." I've been in one of those situations.
herself up with false hope? Better to crush it now. Ayame was
probably already on a plane bound for home, doing her best to
forget all about Japan and everyone she had met there. For their
paths to accidentally cross a second time... Natsume knew she
didn't have that kind of luck.
Ahhh... cliche' yet quite true... the person-who-has-a-crush-and-keeps-putting-in-their-head-it-won't-happen-but-there-is-still-that-little-pinpoint-of-hope-and-"just-maybe" syndrome :)
"You're supposed to teach me table manners!" Kumiko
interrupted his thoughts as she shook him by the shoulders. "You
promised to earlier, remember?"
I dunno... the execution of this gag wasn't quite at par with the other gags... kinda makes you go "u-huh" instead of "heh." IMO, at least.
"Ken-chan?" Kumiko asked with a blink as she stopped
shaking her slave to study him intently. He looked paler than
normal, which she took as a good sign since it was her normal skin
tone, but the way his mouth just hung open with his eyes shut did
look a bit odd.
heh.
Natsume turned away from the beautiful woman sleeping
next to her, but her thoughts were still filled with Ayame. She had
never met anyone like her before; someone so kind, so gentle, so
obviously interested in other women. However, what Ayame
needed was a friend now, someone to help her get over her loss, to
cheer her up when she's feeling down, and to be an occasional
shoulder to cry on.
Perhaps after Ayame had fully recovered from her loss and
completely gotten over Kumiko, then possibly something more
than just friends...
Aiyayayay... a bit of foreshadowing? I hope Natsume-chan doesn't get sucked up by Ayame so she becomes a full-fledged demon... it's too tragic (and rather _expected_ if that's the angle you're going for, IMO... the bits and pieces of it are there afterall...). The ultimate love sacrifice... sacrificing oneself for the sake of love of the other... if ever so, I would suggest a.) Ayame would do everything under the circumstance not to, but bec. of said circumstances (I dunno... perhaps Natsume died and _didn't_ want to go to heaven but instead etc. etc...) she has tragically get Nastume's life. If it ain't the angle you're going for... well, then we shall see how much of a creative writer you really are ^_~
Ja!
Jules
--
.---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List---.
| Administrators - ffml-admins@fanfic.com |
| Unsubscribing - ffml-request@fanfic.com |
| Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
`---http://www.fanfic.com/FFML-FAQ.txt ---'