Disclaimer

   Save for Senboi (Who as an AMG character is the
property of Mr. Fujishima) these characters are the legal,
moral and intellectual property of Miss Rumiko Takahashi.

   Boar Gets Girl by Small Pink Mouse

   Forward

   In the world we know Ranma was able to sabotage the
first date that Ukyo had set up between Akane and Ryouga by
impersonating Ryouga's "Lost Fiancee". Shattered at the
notion that "Even though it was only for a second I have
betrayed Akane in my heart!" Ryouga ran off in apparent
heartbreak to be followed by the others who were concerned on
his behalf. However when he ran through the sprinkler Akane
and Ukyo inexplicably failed to see his transformation to
P-chan (Presumably he had turned a corner and transformed out
of their sight!) but there were other worlds in which the 3
were a step faster....

************************************************************

   It had happened. Ryouga's transformation to P-chan had
taken place in front of Ukyo, Ranma and Akane. Completely,
graphically and undeniably. It's all right, said the small
portion of Akane's mind that wasn't gibbering, we've only to
avoid making a scene that would draw public attention. Ranma's
used to these transformations and Ukyo looks to be the sort to
take these things in stride. We've only to pretend that
nothing's out of the ordinary and-

   "P-p-p-pig!", stuttered "Uchan".

   DRAT!, thought Akane, well it's still all right. I can
count on Ranma to help cover...

   "That's right, Dear!", she said out loud in her best
kawaii voice, "A four legged animal that says 'Oink,oink', eats
acorns, and has four hooves. In this case a particular pet. My
P-chan. How nice of Ryouga to..."

   "RYOUGA'S TURNED INTO A P-P-PIG @_@;;!"

   "Now how silly!", said Akane desperately, as curious
passerbys began to turn their heads and stare, "The fact is..uh!".
Come *on*, Ranma!, were her thoughts as she spoke, I desperately
need your help in ever I'm to pull this off.

   And Ranma, ever quick to come to a maiden's aid, saw that
*Uchan* needed help.

   "OH DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT UKYO, YOU AREN'T CRAZY, RYOUGA
REALLY DID TURN INTO A PIG!", he said, slapping her on the
back, sending her sprawling, and inadvertantly blowing the
remnants of Ryouga's secrets before the entire world. The
passerbys who had paused all turned and move more hurriedly.
As they did, Akane pictured each and every one of them rushing
to tell all the world's reporters and the subsequent headlines
in newspaper and television alike. Little popping sounds could
be heard all around her forehead as she visualized these
headlines. *And then inspiration came!*

   Perhaps it was the voice of Senboi, Demon of Unhappiness
- Third Class, whispering in her ear, or maybe it was the
phrase "Cute fiancee meet uncute fiancee!" cutting deeper and
festering more virulently in her heart than she would ever
want to admit, but Miss Akane Tendo had no trouble finding
*precisely* the words to say.

   "I think I know precisely what we should do!", stated
our Akane in a voice as sweet as poisoned maple syrup, "Ranma,
I wish to speak privately with Ryouga. Why don't the two of
you go on a date together to the Cat Cafe and *plan your
wedding there*?"

   "Wedding?", gibbering with shock as she was, Ukyo still
perked up considerably at the sound of that word.

   "Oh certainly, wedding! In fact, I suggest that you ask
for a girl named Shampoo as your waitress while you're there.
She's a romantic sort who just loves planning these things
and if you let her know you're planning to marry Ranma the 2
of you should get along like house on fire."

   Houses on fire.

   People running and screaming.

   Buildings collapsing.

   Sometimes big explosions...

   Akane smiled and added, "For added effect I suggest that
you tell her I sent you and let her know that Ranma designated
you as his "cute" fiancee. I'm certain that when you do you'll
be surprised at the way she throws herself into the spirit of
things.

   Even with her wits so scattered to the 4 winds that she
could no longer tell good advice from bad Ukyo Kuonji still
had the instincts of a lady. "T-t-thank you!", she said,
before running off with Ranma. Ranma's reproachful glance
towards Akane, on the other hand, seemed to imply that he
would rather she had thrown him into a pit of hungry cats.

   But Akane was already taking Ryouga's clothing and
P-chan, no *Ryouga*, in the direction of the nearest hot
water she could find.

************************************************************

   *Splash!*

   "Um..." *BLUSH!* "...Underwear."

   flip!

   "Shirt."

   flip!

   "Pants."

   flip!

   "Sweater."

   flip!

   "Back-urghhh-pack. Hyah!"

   flip!

   "Well, that's the last of it!", Akane said from her
place around the corner, "Care to grab a Coke and maybe
we can talk it over?"

   Silence.

   "Ok, would you like to grab a Pepsi and talk things over?"

   Silence.

   "Well I don't think UcChan's is open right now, and at the
moment I'm not in the mood for the Cat Cafe, so if you don't like
my ideas you're going to have to think of something yourself."

   Silence.

   "Of course," Akane added with a touch of desperation,
(*You* try being cheerful for two people and see how *you* like
it!), "...You could just sulk and pout and walk away leaving me
to wonder what and why and how I've done wrong, but I don't think
that that would be very nice. Do you?"

   The silence that followed was one that Akane started to
picture as lasting forever in the void of her babump-babumping
heart when Ryouga stepped around the corner and said,
"A-actually, if you don't mind, I'd rather go for tea or
cocoa even if it is summer. I-I've a preference for warm
liquids at the moment.

   Akane's heart began to sing. "That's good!", she said,
putting her arm through his, "Because I rather think we've
a thing or two to catch up on!" Ryouga's eyes glazed over as
she patted his hand, and she sheperded him gently in the same
way she had seen Kasumi guide Dr. Tofu.

************************************************************

   "Uh!", began Ryouga. As a conversational gambit this had
lost whatever impressiveness it had ever had, even in his own
ear, upon the fifth repetition but something in the fond gaze
that Akane-chan had turned upon him suggested that she was
prepared to be charmed by this utterance for as long as he
chose to utter it. Relaxed by her manner he decided to try a
new variant on his tried and tested approach.

   "Uh, I guess I'm in trouble now!", Ryouga did have the
notion that there were a hundred and one better things for
him to have said but the words were quite beyond recall.

   "Why ever do you say that?", she asked in the tone of
voice that every woman has learned from Eve.

   "Well, because I've seen you naked..." *blush* "...I'd
heard all the secrets you'd confided to me when you thought
me no more than a dumb beast, and I...never-came-forward...to
tell-you-the-truth about who I was!", Ryouga concluded in a final
burst of anxiety as his voice speeded and slowed by turns.

   The smile that had come onto Akane's lips from the moment he
had emerged from the alley fled abruptly as she saw Ryouga's very
distress. She reached across the table and took his hand as
though to stay him from running away. "All right!", she said,
"Let's take this in order...

   You've seen me naked? So has Ranma. *You* never called me
uncute.

   It's true that when I thought you nonsentient I told you the
secrets I would never have wanted *anyone* to know. You kept them
safe.

   As for not coming forward to tell me that you were P-chan...My
father, as I recall went 16 years without bothering to tell me
of a marriage contract he'd made on my behalf. I've a sister  who
never bothered to inform me of the cottage industry that she'd built
out of selling pinups of me to the local samurai drool-boy. I've
a future father-in-law who never bothered to let me know that he got
his notions of marriage and marriage contracts from the pre-Shogunate
period when polygany was legal and that by this contract I'd just
been inducted into the Legion of Co-wives. Oh, and speaking of
co-wives, did you notice that I've a fiance who neglects to mention
such minor little details as the acquisition of an Amazon bride
while on his training journey? *And you expect me to be mad at you
because you've kept your secrets as well as mine?* SHEESH, TAKE A
NUMBER AND STAND IN LINE ^_^;! If I went around killing everybody
who'd kept secrets from me I'd be a kinless, friendless orphan by
now. So no, as far as I'm concerned Ry-chan, _you_are_not_in_trouble_!"

   Akane, to her internal distress, found herself tossing
her hair and rolling her eyes as she paused to gather her
wits. "Ok, if-it-is-*quite*-necessary!", muttered the corner
of Akane's mind that concerned itself with her self-respect,
"But batted eyelashes are out!"

   "Even if it means the difference between winning him and
losing him o_O?" queried the part of her mind that concerned
itself with reproduction. Akane's self-respect hoisted a white
flag.

   "But Ry-chan," Akane said as she batted her eyelashes,
"There's one thing I need to know. Why'd you do it? Why did
you spend so much time as a pet when you could have been
living a normal life instead?" As Akane sought to use body
language to put Ryouga at ease her eyelashes looked as
though they were attempting FTL Morse Code.

   And Ryouga, sensing that this was the moment of truth,
realizing that he would never have a better chance to
declare his love, believing this to be the one moment of
"now or never", found the courage it takes to....

   ...goggle like the village idiot and go "Uh!..." (but
it was a very soulful "uh" all the same).

   Did Akane hit him over the head with a brick, denounce
him on the spot, and walk off in a huff never to return?
C'mon gals, if it had been the guy *you* had decided upon
would you let him off the hook as easily as that? Instead,
she turned to Ryouga and said, "You don't have to answer
that just now if you don't wish, (Though I will come back
to that in a while and I do hope that when I ask a second
time you will be able to answer me as friend to friend!) but
could you answer another question in the meantime?"

   "Y-yes! Sure! Anything!"

   "Pwomise?", pleaded Akane as her eyes grew wide, her
lower lip protruded, her fingers played tremously with a lock
of hair and her head tilted to one side *just as she had seen
Asuza do*!

   "*Lisping*?, demanded the small corner of Akane's mind
that had been previously heard from, "I don't recall
authorizing lisping! And what's with the rest of the business
you're using? Don't you remember the contempt you felt for
the girls who did that sort of thing? What are you thinking?"

   "Shut *UP*!", replied Akane to Akane, "This is *important*!"

   Akane's pride growled and retreated someplace subterranean.

   "Pwomise?", Akane repeated, with a beginning tremble of her
lower lips, and Ryouga, wisely responding to the unspoken threat
of waterworks from the eyes if he refused, solemnly thumped his
chest with his fist and said, "Dearest Akane-san, I so promise!"

   "When we were contesting the Golden Pair why were you and
Ranma fighting upon the ice?" To the Ryouga who had turned to
stone she added, "You *did* say at the time that you would
explain it to me later, and this *is* later. Besides," she
continued, as she belatedly remembered to bat her eyelashes and
sound like an imbecile, "You pwomised!"

   "We were f-fighting..."

   "Yes?"

   "Over..."

   "Yes?"

   "Who-would-get-you!" *Blush!*

   Jack and pot! Now it was time to start reeling him in...

   "Why?", Akane's eyes were quite big, and she had no trouble
making her voice childlike and kawaii.

   "Because I-I challenged him over who would get you"

   "Why?"

   "Because..."

   "Yes?"

   "I lo-lo-like you!"

   Akane tasted those words and found them to her liking.
The ears of Eve had heard what Ryouga had said and had
translated them correctly. Later on she intended to extract
a more articulate confession of affection from him than that,
but for now "lo-lo-like" was a very good beginning indeed.

   And a *darn* site better than anything she had ever
gotten out of Ranma!

   "And I love you as well, Ryouga!", she said as she
tilted her head upwards for a kiss.

    ...And it was at this point that a voice spoke inside
Ryouga's head, saying "Hi, I'm your conscience!"

   "Nicetomeetcha.", replied Ryouga with as much politeness
as he could muster under the circumstance, "Now go away, I'm
busy!"

   "With another man's fiancee.", came the flat reply.

   "Yeah, with...another man's fiancee?"

   "You *did* know that Akane and Ranma are betrothed,
didn't you?"

   "Well, yeah, but what's that got to do with...Hey, wait
a minute! I've been trying to kill Ranma, marry Akane, and
been staying with the Tendos under false pretenses for several
months now. If you're my conscience howcum I never heard from
you on this before now?"

   Pause.

   (Internal blush! Internal fidget! Internal scuffing of shoes!)

   "It...It took a while to find you, OK?"

   "Are you saying *you* got lost?"

   "I DON'T GET LOST ^_^;! Uh, I just had trouble making out
the coordinates between you and the rest of the world in
relationship to me, OK?" Then, a little more brightly, "But
I'm here now! And just in time too!! (And aren't you glad!)."

   "...!"

   "Uh, Ryouga is something wrong?", Akane felt her heart
leap into her throat as her eyes opened to see Ryouga standing
in hesitation. She had bet her heart on this and now it looked
as though she had rolled two 'ones'.

   Ryouga responded with a rueful smile, "Just a crisis of
conscience. Would you believe that only now had it occurred
to me that you're engaged, and that in trying to win your
love I would be guilty of trying to lead you astray?"

   Relief warred with annoyance within Akane's breast but
both were overwhelmed by the sudden flow of sympathy that
poured from her heart like warm water from a tea kettle.

   "You dear man.", she whispered, "You dear, sweet man!
Ryouga, let us retire to that park bench over there that we
may talk. There are things you need to know about me if we
are to go any further and you are the one man to whom I
would Tell All."

************************************************************

   I hope I don't look as vulnerable as I feel, Akane thought
as she searched Ryouga's face for something that would give her
the courage to speak. I've been unclothed before this man, why
is it so hard to bare my soul to him? It was just then that an
an irrelevant part on her extracurricular studies in English
Literature rose up to haunt her. The English word 'nude',
she had read, was derived from the Latin 'nudus' which meant
'unclothed'. The word 'naked' on the other hand was supposed to
have originally referred to any such lack of costume but rather
to the state of being without weapons or clothing and therefore
defenseless. The turn of mind that had made these words synonyms
was indeed a practical one, but her mind writers like Heinlein
and Niven were not wrong when they insisted that there was a
distinction between being naked and being nude.

   In that moment her eyes met Ryouga's and it seemed to her
that his were two large and glowing pools that reflected a large
heart of precious glass. Precious, *fragile* glass that would
surely break if she did not find the right words to say in time.
Enough of this, she told herself, it's time to get naked!

   "Ryouga, you can only lead me astray if there's something
to lead me astray from. The existence of an additional fiancee
whose betrothal preceded mine did call the engagement into
question. And as far as I'm concerned, 'Cute Fiancee meet Uncute
Fiancee' sorta settled the question.

   Life with Ranma has been pretty exciting and no mistake
about it, but in it's essence it's always been an emotional
roller coaster ride, and on any ride of this sort the time
comes when you must ask yourself if the lows have become lower
than the highs. If they have, or it it's reached the point
that you have days of lows for every minute of joy that you
experience, then the only sensible thing to do is to look for
a safe place to jump off at and seize it the moment it comes.

   And Ryouga, that safe place is you!

   I think it's legitimate to ask whether marriage should
be a mix of complementary strengths or of similar strengths.
If the former then yes a marriage between myself and Ranma
might have been a good idea *If only we could have found some
common ground*! For without such common ground a marriage of
that sort is like the union of sulpher and nitrogen in the
wrong proportions. The damage that is done is not the fault
of either chemical (For both are innocent of ill intent and
both are good in and of themselves) but the damage that is
done by their wrongful union, while the fault of the fools
who arranged it rather than of the individual elements
themselves, is grievous all the same and is therefore to be
avoided."

   Ryouga pondered. "You'r right. It *is* legitimate to
ask. I myself would be inclined to say that, with the
initial agreement to be united and the desire to be united,
either mix would work but that the higher degree of
probability lies with the mix of complimentary strengths
than with the union of similar ones for in the latter one
blow at the same weakness might bring down two at once while,
with the former, the strengths of one partner may serve to
shield the frailties of the other and..." Whatever else he
might have remarked was lost for he grimaced then and said,
"I've just spoken if favor of the idea of you marrying Ranma
haven't I? For in truth you and he are very different. He
tends to be mercurial, energetic and imaginative the way
Shampoo is..."

   "Unreliable, arrogant and sly the way Shampoo is!",
muttered Akane.

   "While you are steadfast and tenacious in the same way
that I am stubborn..."

   "I *like* stubborn!", insisted Akane.

   "And by the standard of complementary traits being
better than similar ones I think I've just implied that
Ranma would be better than me as a husband for you."

   Akane shook her head in negation. This wasn't working
at all.

   "No, Ranma *wouldn't* be better than you!", she said.

   But Ryouga continued to hesitate.

************************************************************

   Enough!, decided Akane. Dry logic wasn't working and
Asuza's tactics were not direct enough to carry the day.
There was but one set of techniques left to try - the mistress
of this particular school of flirtation was distinctly *not*
Akane's favorite person (her attitude towards wall, doors and
other women's fiancees was still a thorn in Akane's side) but
her ability to get her point across to the opposite sex simply
could not be denied so...

   G L O M P H ! ! ! !

   "Ryouga date Akane ^_^!"

   "Uh, uh yes!"

   Thank you, Shampoo-sensei!, thought Akane in the privacy
of her mind.

   And then...

***********************************************************

   "AKANE TENDO, THANKS TO YOU I AM A MAN ^____^!", cried
Ryouga as he moved to hug her with an embrace that would
have severed light poles. Akane, alarmed at his ardor would
have dodged, but as she started to do so the memory of a
story that she had read concerning a mountain climber
popped into her mind. Fear had caused him to give up
mountain climbing but, because he was already halfway up a
mountain at the time he made this decision he found that he
would have to change his mind a second time no matter which
way he had went.

   But pondering this had caused her to hold still when
she'd meant to dodge and now it was too late for Akane Tendo.
Later she would compare the experience to being kissed by an
affectionate jackhammer after having the air pumped out of
your lungs by a loving vice, for Ryouga, in the grip of the
confidence that Akane's demonstration of affection had given
him, loved with an ardor that outstripped both his wisdom and
his intended gentleness.

   But he *was* gentle in intent and his kisses, while
rapid in delivery, seemed jolts of electricity upon her lips,
cheeks and forehead that went directly to the pleasure
centers of her brain. So this is what oxygen deprivation
feels like, thought Akane with wonder as her bodice grew
tight and a pleasant warmth filled her system. Suffocation
seems *nicer* than I'd've thought, she decided as her mind
began to fade. Ryouga did pause and draw back in alarm when
she moaned and went limp. But by then it really *was* too
late for Akane Tendo for her own arms reached out to pull him
back and she was returning both embrace and kisses with a
strength and fervor that was the equal to his.

   Time passed in a way that was both an eternity and a
instant. But at last the moment came when they had satisfied
themselves lip to lip and drew apart mussed of hair, rumpled
of clothing, fatigued of body and happy of heart. They stared
at one another as though at the first day of Spring after
a decade of Winter and when they came together a second
time their embrace had the comfort and gentleness of
experience. The next time they drew apart occurred when Ryouga
became vaguely aware that a quarter Moon had somehow replaced
the afternoon Sun. The way a distant clock rang 12 times
seemed to confirm this impression. It occurred to him that
Mr. Tendo might be concerned and it would be a good idea
were they to return to the Tendo residence. Akane looked
cutely pensive for a moment before she agreed.

************************************************************

   "Of course," she said while brushing her hair and making
a vain attempt to smooth out her clothing, "We *are* going to
have to talk to Daddy! I'd like you on hand when I explain to
him that if Ranma is entitled to multiple fiancees I jolly
well am as well and that you are my choice for that role!"

   "^_^;;", said Ryouga.

   Akane reached out and patted his hand.

   "By the way, as far as seeing me naked goes? Let's call
it even because I *did* see you as I was tossing your clothes
to you. Not bad! Maybe we should get together sometime to
conduct a mutual inspection?"

   "Just kidding ^_^!", she said while blood spurted from
his nose in a manner that reminded her of a newly discovered
Oklahoma oil well. Hearing those last 2 words his face
scrunched up in a manner that suggested that all the sorrows
of the world had fallen upon his head and Akane was moved to
stand on tiptoes to kiss him on the forehead as she added,
"But Ry-chan? If you are what you should be as a Fiance
(Which I already think you to be!) then the next time I propose
that I won't be kidding at all!"

   Ryouga said nothing as he blushed quite crimson and he
looked everywhere but at her, but his hand clasped hers quite
firmly and gave hers a tender squeeze as she led him in the
direction of the Tendo residence. Akane deemed that answer
enough and time proved her to be correct.

The End (Cue the Ballad of Ryouga and Akane ^_~!)

BTW if there's *any* Romance cliche I've left out please send C&C
to Mangaaddict@hotmail.com and I'll try to include it in the sequel.
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