Due to the sheer girth of this chapter, I'm breaking it up into sections.
This is part one. Part two should be posted within two weeks, then part
three two weeks after that. All forms of C+C are appreciated, public,
private, MSTs or otherwise.
LE PLUS CA CHANGE...
Oh man! It's another friggin' Ranma fanfic...
By Dave Menard
(deibu_kun@sympatico.ca)
DISCLAIMER: Original characters and situations by Rumiko
Takahashi and others, including SNK, Capcom and Pioneer/AIC.
I'm just ripping them off because I haven't the raw talent to
come up with my own. Fukui-san and Ota-san belong to
themselves, (or Chairman Kaga if certain documents are to be
believed,) and appear here without permission.
WHAT HAS GONE BEFORE: The year is 2015, and the offspring of
the Ranma 1/2 cast take center stage. The annual 'King of
Fighters' tournament is today, and it looks like there'll be
some action in the under-thirty division this year, as quite a
few famous names will be showing up. Bogard, Masters, Masaki
and Moroboshi, as well as the usual gang. Should be one heck
of a show!
Additionally, it appears that Sachiko Tendo and Kobuta
Hibiki have picked up a rider on their bicycle-built-for-two;
Ti-Pi, Shampoo's niece, has taken Kobuta as her Airen, and
Sachiko as her Shield-hand wife. Kobuta is embarrassed by the
whole thing but isn't complaining (would you?) while Sachiko
(who wasn't happy about having ONE fiance) is furious.
For cast list info, check the end note.
**************
CHAPTER SEVEN (PART ONE):
"Welcome back to the first-ever co-ed King of Fighters
tournament! It's been a very exciting day so far, as
competitors from far and wide have converged here to the home
of the 2014 World Series Champion Tokyo Giants (Go-o Giants!)
in the heart of fabulous Downtown Tokyo!"
"Fukui-san?"
"Yes, Ota?"
"For the benefit of viewers who are only just now joining
us, here's a review of the stunning events so far. In a
surprise move, the board has abolished gender categories this
year, a decision that has met with mixed reviews amongst the
competitors. Last year's under-thirty women's champ, the
beautiful and talented Ranko Tendo, had the following words to
say:
'S'about time I had some real competition. These guys'll
never know what hit 'em.'"
"Confident words from Champion Tendo, Ota!"
"You're darn right, Fukui-san! Newcomer Kobuta Hibiki of
the One Righteous Fist School and- I'm not sure this is right,
but I'll read it anyway, - Unryuu School of Pig Sumo, had the
following rebuttal:
'Fighting girls? No, that's not right! Nobody told me I'd
have to fight girls!'
"It just goes to show that chivalry is not dead, Ota."
"You bet! Any words from last year's men's under-thirty
champ, Alexander Bogard?"
"Well Ota, it just so happens that I have him here in the
booth. Any thoughts, champ?"
"Urhm, I, uh... Well, I've known Tendo from way back, and
although I've a lot of respect for Tendo as a competitor, I've
got to say I'm a little uncomfortable with the idea of
fighting women. Still, if there's a woman alive who can
compete with the men, it's Tendo."
"Any truth to the rumour that you and Tendo are
romantically involved?"
"What?! No! I- uh, we just trained together under the
same sensei about four years back, that's all, really... I'm
just glad I won't be faced with fighting her, what with this
knee injury."
"Gracious words from a gracious champion. Tell me, do you
have any picks for the winner?"
"Well, I've got to say that my cousin Ichino's doing very
well, and I'd like to let her know I'm rooting for her. Aside
from that, I'd have to say that Prince Hemlock's looking good.
I'm still smarting from our fight last year."
"That _was_ a close contest."
"It sure was. Under the old divisional system, I'd say
that it was a toss up between Tendo and maybe Masters or
Ichino for women's champ, but that's all academic now. I'm
just looking forward to some great competition."
"Well, you heard the man, Ota. Great competition is the
order of the day."
"That's right, Fukui-san! Let's go to the board and see
the standings for the elimination round!"
UNDER-THIRTY DIVISION A:
RANKO TENDO-----------------
|
|__________
|
|
KIN "GOLDEN BLADE" KUNO-----
NOBOHIKO SARUGAKURE---------
|
|__________
|
|
TOBATSU KUMON---------------
KOBUTA HIBIKI---------------
|
|
|__________
|
GORO HONDA-----------------|
UNDER-THIRTY DIVISION B:
ICHINO BOGARD---------------
|
|__________
|
|
HEMLOCK MUSK----------------
ACHIKA MASAKI---------------
|
|__________
|
|
BURAKURO TARO---------------
LINA GOSUNKUGI--------------
|
|_________
|
|
SUPAAKU MOROBOSHI-----------
CHUGOKU KUONJII-------------
|
|_________
|
|
SHAUNA MASTERS--------------
KEIICHI ONO ----------------
|
|_________
|
|
TI-PI JOKETSUZOKU-----------
"Wow, Ota, there sure are a lot of unorthodox and exotic
fighters in the wings this year! We've got a few from out of
town, and I mean REALLY out of town!"
"There sure are, Fukui-san! I asked the judges about
that, and they simply said that it was unfair to exclude folks
from competition just because they're from off-planet. Jurai
and Oni both have treaties with Japan, so they're just as
welcome here as our fighters from overseas."
"Fair enough, I say. This is, after all, a contest to see
who is the greatest fighter of them all, and-"
"Fukui-san!"
"Yes, Ota?"
"I've just received word that the first match in division
A is about to start!"
"All right, let's go down to the field, where Ranko Tendo
of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, last year's
women's under-thirty division champion, is about to face off
against Kin "The Golden Blade" Kuno, an up-and-coming star of
the Greater Tokyo Kendo circuit, who I believe is also Tendo's
_cousin_!"
"That's right, Fukui-san! Challenger Kuno is in fact
Champion Tendo's cousin. It looks like fighting runs in the
family. The Kuno family has a long and illustrious history in
the sport of Kendo, and as we all know, Tendo is the daughter
of Ranma Tendo, who was champion of the men's division for an
unprecedented eight years running before he withdrew from
competition, and the late great Akane Tendo, a former women's
champion."
"Truly, a Modern Dynasty in the making, Ota."
"You'd better smile when you say that, Fukui-san! Anyway,
it looks like the competitors are about to enter the ring!!"
*****
Ranko took a quick sip of gatorade and re-tied her hair
into a short ponytail. Then it was a few quick knee bends as
she rolled her head around her neck. With a short exhalation,
she turned to her corner.
"Any last words of encouragement, Pops?"
Ranma stood stoically beside the Anything-Goes banner ,
arms across his chest. "Mm-hmm. Kin's quick, and sneaky. Don't
count her out just 'cause she's a weapons-user; she knows a
bit of AGMA herself, not just kendo. I'm not telling you
anything you don't know yourself, kiddo. Just try to keep your
moves fresh. That flying side-kick you've been using so far?
Drop it. She'll have watched your matches, she'll know to
expect it. Above all, keep fluid, be like water. Kendo is a
very rigid discipline, and she won't be able to counter
improvisation very well."
"Gotcha," Ranko nodded. "And improvisation is what
Anything-Goes is all about. Thanks, Pops."
"No problem. Just keep up the intensity you've shown so
far, and you'll have no trouble. Remember, though; fight
clean. No disabling strikes, she's family."
Across the ring, Kin was getting encouragement of her
own.
"Remember, daughter dear, that the dullness of the fool
is the whetstone of the wit. Use thy mind to the utmost; thou
canst outthink this opponent easily."
"Yes, father." Kin nodded, as she tightened her hakama's
strings. "Though she be my kinswoman, I shall still prevail,
for she has not a tenth of my cunning and daring."
"Okay, kiddo," Nabiki added, putting away her cellular
phone. "You've already beaten the point spread by making it to
this round. That was Yuu at Golden Harvest just now; they're
definitely interested. Even if you lose, you've come out way
ahead. Winning this round'll just be gravy. Tasty gravy, but
gravy nonetheless. Give it your best shot, but don't be afraid
to concede if things get too rough for you. No sense in taking
the chance of ruining those photogenic looks, hmm?"
"Yes mother. Fear not! Never shall I, the Golden Blade of
Furinkan High, allow my fair visage to come to harm, nor in
any way damage my chances at scoring yon humongous endorsement
contract."
"Great honey, just great. Could you lay off the lingo in
private, though? Bad enough your father-"
"Sigh. Okay, whatever Mom. I'll kick her butt good,
though. 'Kay?"
"Fabulous. Give 'er hell, sweetie." Nabiki bussed her
daughter on the cheek and dragged her soliloquising husband
back to the bench.
*****************
The announcer had to yell into the microphone to be heard
over the obnoxiously-loud driving music being played over the
stadium speakers, whipping the crowd into a frenzy.
"Alright, ladies and gentlemen, the fight has begun! In
the white corner, from the Anything-Goes School of Martial
Arts, 19 years old, a Virgo with blood type A, last year's
Women's Champion, Ran-kooooooooo... Tendo!!"
The crowd cheered mightily. Tendo was a popular
competitor. Flashy yet skilled, and good-looking to boot. Not
a few folks in the stands were waving "Ranko, Gambatte!"
banners, too.
"And in the black corner, representing the Kuno school of
Kendo, Captain of the Furinkan High girl's Kendo club, sixteen
years old, a Scorpio with blood type AB negative, Kin "The
Golden Blade" Ku-noooooooo!!!!"
Another loud cheer went up. Kuno was another popular
contestant; her flashy antics and good looks had been embraced
by the crowd, and her soliloquies made great copy in the
papers. Though a first-time competitor, she was already making
waves.
The two bowed to each other and took their places; Kuno
assuming a rigid offensive stance, while Tendo took a looser
defensive stance, arms akimbo and feet apart.
"Hajime!!!" called the referee, and it began.
Kin made the first move, taking the fight to her opponent
with a flurry of her trademark credit-card shuriken. Ranko
evaded most of the barrage, plucking a few out of the air and
returning them with interest, forcing Kin to deflect them with
her bokken. In that instant, Ranko took advantage of the
opening and executed a foot sweep that knocked her cousin
down, nimbly springing over Kin's answering slice.
"Impressive, cousin," Kin called out, rolling sideways to
her feet and avoiding a dragon-stomp from Ranko at the same
time. "But I have taken your measure, and found it wanting.
Have at thee! MILLION-YEN STRIKE!!"
She charged forward with a machine-gun hail of bokken-
thrusts, forcing Ranko onto the defensive and backing her
across the ring.
Kin grinned. She had her cousin on the defensive!
Switching from her Million-Yen Strike, she cut the air with a
loud kiai yell, swinging her bokken in an overhead diagonal
slice.
"GOLDEN... BLADE!"
A golden crescent of ki-energy poured off the blade,
streaking through the air towards Ranko. She leapt upwards,
glancing over her shoulder to see the golden projectile rip a
trench into the turf. The moment of inattention cost her, as
her younger cousin was able to get inside her guard with
another Million-Yen Strike, knocking Ranko to the ground.
Kin came in for the coup de grace, only to find that her
opponent was no longer there. A footsweep later, and it was
Kin's turn to kiss turf. With a growl, she rolled to her feet,
wiping churned earth off her nose.
"You are toying with me, aren't you." Kin stated. It
wasn't a question. She lunged forward with another flurry of
Million-Yen Strikes.
Ranko nodded cheerily. "'Course I am! Just tryin' ta make
sure ya look good for the cameras. Still, not too bad, cuz,"
Ranko answered, bobbing and weaving backward to avoid the
jabs. "I gotta wonder, though, how good you'd be without yer
little stick! KACHUU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!!!!
With a yell, Ranko answered the blizzard of thrusts with
a amaguriken-driven series of grabs, until she snatched the
bokken from the younger girl's grip and jumped back, causing
Kin to topple forward onto her face, her balance disrupted.
With a cheerful laugh, Ranko backflipped to the edge of the
ring, twirling the bokken like a cheerleader's baton, giving
Kin the opportunity to pick herself up from the floor.
"So, you gonna concede now, or am I gonna hafta rough you
up, Kin-chan?"
"Hmph. Your boasting is premature, cousin. Though I may
not be your equal in unarmed combat, I have no intention of
giving up the laurels so easily. Behold, the Golden Blade's
secret technique! YEN STORM!!"
A blinding flurry of 1000 yen notes sprung from Kin's
upthrust hand, momentarily concealing her from view. When the
bills finally floated down to earth, the kendoist was nowhere
to be found!
"What th' hey?" Ranko gasped. "Geez, talk about your
expensive techniques! Where'd ya go, Kin-chan?"
"Hah!" Kin's voice called from everywhere and nowhere,
"That is for me to know, and you to find out! YAAH!!"
A series of invisible punches buffeted Ranko's unguarded
form, knocking her to the ground. In a heartbeat, she was on
her feet again in a tight defensive stance, glancing all
around her.
"Cute. Real cute. Ain't it kinda cowardly to hit someone
from hiding, though?"
Another invisible barrage impacted, sending Ranko
sprawling once more.
"Discretion IS the better part of valour after all, dear
cousin," Kin laughed from hiding. "What one might call
cowardice, another might call prudence-OOF!"
Ranko cracked her knuckles as she stood over the now-
visible Kin, who was holding her stomach and groaning.
"Invisibility ain't much good 'less ya keep yer trap
shut, kiddo. All I hadda do was follow the yakking mouth. Now,
hold still, and this won't hurt a bit-"
A quick strike to a pressure point on Kin's neck rendered
her unconscious.
The bell rang.
"Your winnah! Ran-kooooooo Tendo!!!!!!"
*********************
Up in the booth, Fukui was giddy.
"A spectacular match, ladies and gentlemen! Once again,
Tendo shows just why she's been our women's champ two years
running! And an excellent showing by first-time competitor Kin
Kuno!"
"It sure was," interjected Alex, "For a first-timer like
Kuno to give Tendo such a run for her money... I predict great
things in Kuno's future. Take note, folks. We may be looking
at a future champ."
"Or _not_ looking, as the case may be." Fukui said with a
laugh, "That was a pretty impressive invisibility trick, I
must say. I haven't-"
"Fukui-san?"
"Yes, Ota?"
"I just talked to challenger Kuno, who just came to
moments ago. Apparently, that particular move was the 'Yen
Storm'. According to Kuno, it was derived from one of the
techniques of the Founding School of Anything-Goes Martial
Arts."
"Founding School? Well, that's rather impressive. Say,
Ota, what happened to all those 1000 yen notes? I guess the
groundskeepers are getting some nice tips down there today."
"I'm sorry to say that that was just Monopoly money,
Fukui-san."
"Ah, well, I guess even the heir to the NabTek Industries
fortune can't afford to throw money away. Champion Bogard, do
you have anything to say about Champion Tendo's performance in
that last match?"
"Well, I think Tendo showed a lot of heart out there, as
well as her trademark adaptability. That adaptability is a
founding precept of her school, after all."
"Is it, now?"
"Yes, it certainly is. I think we can all remember
watching her father's bouts years ago and seeing that same
fluidity of style that makes a master of the Anything-Goes
School so hard to beat."
"Now, you've mentioned that you and Tendo trained under
the same sensei when you were younger. Tell us, did she ever
manage to use that 'fluidity of style' to defeat you?"
"Err, well... Oh, look! Looks like it's time for a
commercial. We'll be right back!!"
****************
Back in the locker room area, Ranko was being
congratulated by her family.
"You did great out there, Ranko-chan!"
"Aww, shucks Pops," Ranko drawled, grinning. "T'weren't
nothin'. Say, where's Sacchi?"
"Oh, she's off talking to one of her friends, but I'm
sure she'd congratulate you if she were here," Ranma sighed.
"I only hope that- Oh!" He glanced up, seeing Shampoo enter
the room. "Here, Shampoo. What'd you think of my little girl's
showing so far? Chip off the ol' block, isn't she?"
The statuesque Amazon nodded, smirking wryly. "Yes, just
as overconfident and arrogant as you ever were. Still, a fine
performance, child. I noticed you have been trained in the
Amaguriken technique."
"Uh-huh," Ranko said dismissively. "What about it?"
"It IS a powerful technique, is it not?" Shampoo
continued.
"Yeah, I s'pose. 'S pretty handy. Why?"
It is only one of many techniques of the Amazon nation,
passed down over 3000 years of tribal history. If you'd like,
I can show you a few..."
"Really? Cool! But, er, this doesn't mean I gotta join
the tribe or nothin' does it?"
"No, of course not, child." Shampoo soothed. After all,
as her "husband's" daughter, Ranko was _already_ de facto part
of the tribe. "So, what do you say?"
"Sounds good to me! Pops?"
"Er, I don't have a problem with it, I guess. Just, er,
no Bakusai Tenketsu training, huh?"
"Exploding point? That sounds pretty impressive. Why-"
"Just don't, okay?"
A high pitched, cheerful voice, with the volume and
timbre of an air-raid siren cut through the discussion.
"RANKO-CHAAAAAANNNN!!!!!"
Ranko immediately sat up strait as a rail and grinned
madly.
"SEMPAI!"
Ranma and Shampoo were almost bowled over by a silver-
haired comet of exuberant affection that was all over Ranko
like white on rice.
"OH, RANKO-CHAAN! I'M SO-OOO HAPPY TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!!!!"
"SEMPAIII! IT'S BEEN FOREVER!!!!"
The two proceeded to jump up and down in a circle while
maintaining a hug, causing the new girl's endowments to gainax
impressively.
Ranma picked himself up off the floor with Shampoo's
help.
"Who, or what," asked the Amazon, sotto voce to Ranma,
"Is that?"
The newcomer was a girl Ranko's age, maybe a year or two
older, dressed in what looked like some hentai anime fan's
concept of a kunoichi outfit that barely covered her
pneumatically improbable endowments. Her waist length silver
hair was drawn up into a tall topknot that helicoptered
menacingly in her wake.
"Oooh, Pops, Shampoo-san, this is my sempai, Ichino
Bogard! We studied together under her great-grampa. You
remember, Pops, don'cha?"
"Err, Ichino-chan? Is that... you?" Ranma hemmed and
hawed. "My, how you've... grown."
"Uncle Ranma!!" Ichino cried, seizing Ranma in a firm
glomp.
Shampoo firmly resisted the urge to bonbori the girl
upside the head, instead restraining herself to a mere
grinding of teeth. "Well, young lady. It's very nice to meet
you. You seem to be a... healthy girl. Are you competing
today?"
Ichino nodded cheerily, releasing 'Uncle Ranma', who
collapsed into a groaning heap. "Mm-hmm! It's nice to meet
you, lady!" She bowed formally, almost spilling out of her
top. "Are you Uncle Ranma's girlfriend?"
"Girlfriend?" Ranma murmured, eyes wide, a note of panic
in his quavering voice.
"Ah, er..." Shampoo temporized, "It's a little more
complicated than that, child, I-"
"Oh, that's so SWEET!" Ichino bubbled. "You're never too
old for romance!"
"Old..?" A vein on Shampoo's head throbbed.
"Girlfriend..?" Ranma murmured again, looking confused
(an expression that was growing more and more at home on his
face.)
"Um, touchy subject, sempai," Ranko said, dragging the
older girl away laughing nervously. "C'mon, let's get you
warmed up for your match against Hemlock, hunh?"
"Oh, okay!" Ichino responded cheerily as she was dragged
around the corner. "Nice to see you! Bai-BAIIIIII!!!!"
"Friendly girl." Shampoo growled.
"Uh-hun."
"Was she always this... "
"Exuberant?"
"Well, that too..."
*****************
Prince Hemlock of the Musk Dynasty chuckled evilly as he
sucked back a two-litre bottle of Jolt. That is to say, he
wasn't chuckling evilly _because_ he was sucking back a two-
litre bottle of Jolt; sure, he _liked_ Jolt, it was one of the
outside world's redeeming features, and something he intended
to keep around when the day came to lay waste the world and
establish himself as total and absolute dictator of all he
surveyed. No, he was chuckling evilly because he had easily
defeated each of his opponents in the opening rounds, with no
more effort than he would expend in swatting a fly.
Oh sure, winning this contest wasn't exactly high on his
list of priorities; after all, global domination takes a lot
of planning. But it _did_ provide him the opportunity to size
up any future threats to his power. After all, his mother the
king had been laid low in his youth by one of these weak,
pathetic outsiders, so it behooved him to take the measure of
all who might someday oppose him.
Still, with that thrice-damned Alex Bogard out of the
picture this year, he despaired of finding someone worthy of
even the least of his skills. Why, he hadn't even faced a
single opponent who had even given him pause...
******************
Peppy J-pop played over the stadium speakers as the
groundskeepers cleared the field for the next match. In the
stands, a large black pig squatted, humanlike, a soda in one
trotter and three skewers of yaki-tori in the other. A young
man in his late teens sat next to him, munching away on
octopus balls and occasionally conversing with the pig.
Needless to say, the other spectators were giving the pair a
wide berth.
<<Where's Sachiko-chan?>> Ryoga signed to his son, taking
a lazy sip of his soda.
"I dunno, Dad; she said she was going to the ladies room,
but that was half an hour ago." Kobuta glanced around
curiously, but his unwilling fiancee was nowhere to be seen.
"Remind me why you're in pig-form again?"
Ryoga produced another sign. <<Avoiding my cousin Dan.>>
"What's wrong with cousin Dan?"
<<What isn't?>> Flip. <<If you see anyone wearing a pink
gi, hide me.>>
"Whatever..." Kobuta mumbled. He really, REALLY wanted to
go look for Sachiko, but he was afraid his Dad would wander
off if he didn't have someone to keep an eye on him. "Dad, I
gotta go find Sachiko-san. You gonna be okay if I leave you
here for a few?"
The big pig blinked, then grinned fangily. <<You miss her
already, do you? Ah, young love...>>
Kobuta blushed fiercely. "Aw, c'mon Dad... I only just
met her." So what if she's incredibly cute, has a gorgeous
smile... Not to mention her hair smells really nice... "I'm
just worried, that's all. All kinds'a freaks hang around
stadiums. I just wanna go make sure she's all right."
"Make sure who is all right?"
The kawaii voice startled the Hibikis, appearing as it
did almost out of thin air. (Actually, it wasn't quite out of
thin air, more like from above. But I digress...) A well-
rounded figure of an Amazon (And when I say well-rounded, I'm
referring to the shape of her body, not merely the content of
her character. Although an Amazon liberal-arts education can
take you a fair ways, touching, as it does, on cosmetology,
herbalism, 1,001 ways of inflicting severe violence, and many
other wonderful- Ah, but I digress again.)fluttered down from
the heavens smiling sweetly at the startled young Hibiki.
"T-ti-Pi? I, er..." Kobuta swallowed. "I don't wanna
alarm you here, but... Were you aware you've got wings?"
Ti-Pi double-blinked and glanced behind her. "These?" She
fluttered her downy wings demurely, settling down on the
bleacher next to her Airen. "Ti-Pi born this way; come from
Papa's side of family. Papa from Phoenix Mountain, very brave
warrior. One day, he meet Mama while she climb mountain,
decide to attack. Mama fight back, but Bird-People of Phoenix
Mountain too-too good at aerial combat, and Papa beat her. So
Papa marry Mama, then, nine months later, along come Ti-Pi!"
She giggled. "Many people in village think is good omen that
girl from such strong family be born with wings; it good joss,
very lucky for village."
"B-but, you didn't have wings before... Did you?"
"Is like Airen's curse; it come with cold water, and
leave with hot. Is too-too convenient for getting around."
<<I don't understand,>> signed a boggled Ryoga-pig, <<If
you were born with wings, why do they behave like a Jusenkyo
curse?>>
"Ti-Pi no sure. Phoenix people get wings from drinking
water from magical spring of drowned bird many-many generation
ago. Now all peoples from mountain have wings at birth. Is
magic, but also maybe... How you say, hidden? Hidden gene."
"You mean recessive?" Kobuta asked, being somewhat
familiar with genetics from years of pig-breeding. "I'm not
sure if something that big could be recessive..."
Ti-Pi screwed up her face in thought. "Is maybe right
word, Ti-Pi no certain. Japanese not so good. But Airen was
saying something why Ti-Pi show up? Is someone hurted?"
"No, at least... Probably not, but I'm worried about
Sachiko-san. She left a while ago and hasn't come back..."
"Tsk! Shield-hand wife probably go home! She no
appreciate Airen like Ti-Pi does!" she tickled Kobuta gently
under the chin with a wing-feather. "She complain all morning
how she no want to come here, no want to see good fighters
compete. Is silly, but Ti-Pi no mind. Ti-Pi happy so long as
Airen here!"
Kobuta sighed, but couldn't help smiling. Ti-Pi sure was
affectionate; and confusing to boot. Imagine marrying someone
because they can beat you up. All very sensible, eugenically
speaking, but hardly romantic. "All the same, Ti-Pi, I'd feel
better if I knew where she was. Would you mind keeping an eye
on Dad while I go look for her?"
"Ti-Pi have better idea! We look for Shield-hand wife
from above!" And with that, the winged Amazon snatched Kobuta
up in her arms and leapt out, and up, and up... Until the pair
were circling high above the field like the Goodyear blimp, or
the ubiquitous hovering camera-bots that panned and scanned
the stands for footage.
"Aiie!" Kobuta yelped, clinging tenaciously to his flying
bride.
"We find Shield-hand wife easy this way!" Ti-Pi chirped,
scanning the crowd for the petite redhead. Kobuta merely
whimpered and clung tighter. The winged Amazon glanced down at
her Airen, his face nestled in her cleavage.
"Ooh, Airen! If want to do _that_ with Ti-Pi, have but to
ask..." Ti-Pi cooed seductively. Kobuta immediately became
aware of where he had hidden his face. It was warm, and soft,
and jiggled pleasantly when you poked it. Kobuta sniffled back
a nosebleed and unwrapped himself from the winged girl, all
ready to deny any hentai intentions when he realized something
very important.
Generally, when one is being held aloft by a flying
person or object, it behooves a body to keep a firm grip on
the person or object itself. If one should _fail_ to keep said
firm grip, then one is likely to fall.
At that moment, Kobuta cursed the law of gravity.
"HAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPPP!!!!!"
A thousand faces looked up at the plummeting boy and
gasped. Ti-Pi squeaked with dismay as she dove after him,
rescue in mind. Screams echoed across the field.
The wind thundered in Ti-Pi's ears as she drew her wings
to her sides, streaking after her falling beau. She reached
out to him, but he was flailing madly in blind panic, and she
couldn't catch a hand. The ground was rushing rapidly up to
greet them.
"I'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieeeeeee" Kobuta
whimpered, eyes firmly shut, only to have the breath knocked
out of him by a pair of slender arms grabbing him about his
midsection and arresting his descent. He blinked hard, and
opened his eyes.
"I'm... not gonna die?"
"Not if I've got anything to say about it, Ko-chan," a
husky voice purred in his ear.
"Achika?!" Kobuta gazed up into the yellow, cat-like eyes
of his childhood playmate. "Acchan! It IS you!"
The girl winked coyly, eyes peering out from under a
spiky mane of blue-black hair. Kobuta looked down, and
realized that they were hovering a good ten feet off the
ground. He gulped loudly. "So, whatcha doing?" Achika asked
innocently.
Kobuta grinned. "Oh, er, I was in the neighborhood
and..."
"Just thought you'd drop by, huh?" The half-alien girl
finished with a smirk. "Ew. Stinky joke. Just for that, I
should let you drop."
"A-heh."
A titanic whumph! of braking wings announced Ti-Pi's
arrival.
"Airen is all right?"
"Uh, yeah, just a little shaken up, that's all." Kobuta
gave a sickly grin. "My fault, I shouldn't have let go-"
"Airen, who is Spiky-hair girl?"
"Uh, this is-"
"Hey! What's the big idea of dropping my Ko-chan like
that?!" Achika snarled. "You lookin' for trouble, Tweety-
Bird?"
"Who you call Tweety-Bird, Hedgehog-girl?"
"Who're YOU callin' Hedgehog-girl, Birdbrain?!"
"Who you call Birdbrain, Dummy?"
"AIRHEAD!"
"DUMMY!"
"AIRHEAD!"
"DUMMY!"
"Ah, girls?"
"WHAT?!?!" they chorused.
"Er, down first, fight later. Please?" The two girls
blinked, glanced down, glanced at Kobuta, and quickly dropped
to the ground, depositing the rattled boy on his feet. "THANK
you."
The crowd gave a round of applause, figuring that this
was some kind of halftime show. The embarrassed trio took
their bows and made their way off the field. Once back in the
dressing room area, the two girls whirled on each other.
"Where was we?" Ti-Pi asked.
"You called me an airhead, and I called you a dummy."
"Was other way around, dummy! You call Ti-Pi airhead!"
"Man, d'y'know you've got the MOST annoying speech
pattern?"
Ti-Pi squeaked in rage, and produced a war-trident from
nowhere, assuming a martial stance.
"Oh ho, y'wanna throw down with me, do ya? Fair enough!"
Achika stepped back, and a crackling blue energy sword sprung
into being in her fist.
"GIRLS! PLEASE!" Kobuta pleaded, "Can't we all just get
along?"
"Nope. Don't think so, Ko-chan. This little featherbrain
has it comin'." Achika snarled.
"Airen, this is woman's business. You go wait, Ti-Pi come
give you snugglies soon, is okay?"
"SNUGGLIES?! You little tramp!" The half-alien ground her
teeth together. "What kind of a shameless hussy ARE you,
anyways?"
"Is not shameless to have snugglies with husband!"
"HUSBAND?!"
Kobuta slunk away, head hanging. Oh, well. Maybe he could
find Sachiko, he thought. She's gotta be in a better mood...
***********************
She wasn't.
She had a fairly good reason, too. Aside from the whole
fiance thing. Really.
She was annoyed because she'd been stuck in the washroom
for close to forty-five minutes now, trying to convince her
best friend (Of course she's your best friend, her mind
repeated. Otherwise you'd've left half an hour ago...) to come
out of the stall she'd barricaded herself into.
"Chugoku Kuonjii, come OUT of there!"
"Nonononononono! I saw him! He's here!
OhgawdsI'msonervousssss!!!!!"
"For the last time, Keiichi is NOT here! Auntie K'd never
let him compete in these things; smartest one in the whole
nutty family, if you ask me."
"Are you sure? Reallyreallreally sure?"
"Sigh. Just get out here!"
A dark-haired, bespectacled face peered over the top of
the stall. "Promise?"
"Promise! Geez! Look, you can't hide in there all day!
You've still got a match, right? Right?"
"Yeah..."
"And you want to win it, right?"
"Uh-huh..."
"THEN GET YOUR FANNY OUT HERE NOW!"
Chugo 'eeped' and ducked back into the stall. Sachiko was
just about to kick the door down, damn the torpedoes, when
Chugoku emerged, looking sheepish.
"Sorry, Sacchi."
"S'okay," Sachiko mumbled. Chugoku's puppy-dog eyes were
extra-large and puppy-like thanks to the magnifying effect of
her thick glasses. "I can't stay mad at you, you know that..."
"Thanks. Y'know what?"
"What?"
"It probably _wasn't_ Keiichi-sama anyway."
"Yeah, that's the spirit!"
"Yeah... It was just some other totally hunky dreamboat
with gorgeous brown eyes and perfect hair, and that sexy
little dimple when he smiles.... Oh god, it WAS him!" The
mistress of hidden-weapons-style okonomiyaki martial arts
began to squeal, hopping around on one foot.
Sachiko blocked the path back into the stall as a
precaution. "Wrong! It wasn't Keiichi. It was just some other
guy who happens to look a lot like my cousin, is all. C'mon,
we'd better go find Kin. Maybe she'd like an ice cream after
losing to my bully of a sister."
"Ice cream..? Oh, but I can't! I've got a match later!"
"There's a 131 flavours in the fo-od court..." Sacchi
tempted. Chugo chewed nervously on her bottom lip.
"Can I get red bean flavour?"
"Whatever you want, honey..."
***************
"And we're back! It looks like the pitch has been
repaired, and officials are setting up for the next match-"
"Fukui-san?"
"What is it, Ota?"
"I've just received word that Ichino Bogard will be
accompanied to the field by none other than Ranko Tendo!"
"Wow! Sizing up the competition, is she?"
"Actually, Fukui-san," Alex interjected, "Tendo and my
cousin are old friends. This is probably just a show of
encouragement."
"What a gracious champion!"
"Well, I suppose-"
"Fukui-san?"
"Yes, Ota?"
"I've just heard from Prince Hemlock, Ichino Bogard's
opponent in the next match, and he had the following words to
say:
'It matters little who Bogard brings to the field, she
will still fall before my awesome might. I'll do to her what I
planned on doing to her coward cousin. Moo-hoo-hoo-ha-ha.'"
"Wow, strong words from Hemlock, do you have any
rebuttal, Alex?"
"Hemlock may be one hell of a fighter, but he's got a
thing or two to learn about sportsmanship. I say, he's _lucky_
that I'm out of the running this year, or I'd hand him his
head. I'm confident, however, that Ichino-chan'll show him a
thing or two."
Ota continued breathlessly. "Hemlock himself is one of a
few members of various noble houses with us today, I might
add. Hemlock, as some of our viewers may or may not know, is
the heir-apparent to the Musk Dynasty, one of the many
splinter nations that arose after the collapse of the PRC in
'09. The area is renowned for its natural beauty, located as
it is in the beautiful Byankala Mountain Range, some of the
most scenic real-estate in all of China. So his title as
Prince is quite legitimate."
"Fascinating stuff, Ota. Hold on, it looks like the
contestants are entering the field!"
********************
As Ichino stepped onto the field, dressed in demure
hooded robes not unlike a wedding kimono, her theme music
began to play. It started out as a simple flute and shamisen
melody, which lasted about two bars.
That's when the bass kicked in.
The traditional melody metamorphosed into an up-tempo
neo-techno beat, and the kimono came off, flying high into the
air, revealing the silver-tressed kunoichi dressed in her
scanty check-out-my-two-best-friends ninja outfit. Ichino
leapt up and down, waving at her fans, causing a chain
reaction of nosebleeds that traversed the stadium like 'The
Wave'. The men in the crowd (those who remained conscious,
anyway) went bananas, whooping and hollering. Ichino Bogard
fan-club banners were unrolled, cheering sections were formed,
and women smacked their dates upside the head for ogling.
"Sheesh, Sempai," Ranko shook her head, a rueful grin on
her face, "Don't be shy, now..."
The announcer waited until the hollering died down to a
dull roar before beginning.
"LADIEEES and GENTLE-MENNNN! PRE-senting, in the black
corner, representing the Shiranui School, 20 years old, a
Cancer with blood-type b negative... ICHINOOOOOOOOO
BOGARD!!!!!!!"
The crowd went crazier, if it was possible. The ovation
lasted until the sound of a mighty gong echoed across the
field.
"AND in the WHITE cor-NERRR... Heir to the throne of the
Musk Dynasty, 21 years old, weighing in at an impressive one-
hundred and seventy-five kilos, His Majesty, PRINCE HEM-
LOCCCCCCKKKK!!!"
To the sound of cheers (hey, even badguys have fans) the
heir to the Musk Dynasty descended from on high, eyes and
fists sizzling with ki-energy as he flew to earth.
The houselights came back up, the contestants took their
places, and...
"HAJIME!!"
Hemlock took his time circling the kunoichi; that is to
say, he used only a fraction of his speed, so he was moving at
about eighty kph as he circled Ichino like a miniature
whirlwind.
"Give up now, foolish woman!" he dopplered, "None can
stand against one who is the scion of both Dragon and Wolf!"
Ichino kept silent and focused, waiting for the Musk
warrior to make his move, tracking him slowly with her inner
eye. His speed was truly inhuman, his power level off the
scale. Her cousin Alex might've been able to defeat him once,
but she was beginning to suspect that Hemlock had had a bad
day, and Alex had had a very very good one.
In an eyeblink, Hemlock charged, rushing the girl, one
fist drawn back holding enough ki-energy to detonate a
mountain. "Time to die, Bogard!!" Hemlock snarled.
Ichino simply jiggled her breasts.
Hemlock stopped dead, two feet away, and stared.
"Are those..?"
"Yep, they're real!" Ichino giggled, gainaxing wildly.
Hemlock's ki-fist fizzled out as his eyes took on a
glazed and hungry look.
Oh sure, the Musk of the 21st Century are not as isolated
a people as they once were. They have trade with their ancient
rivals, the Amazons, they are a force in world politics, they
even have running water in their Great Citadel. The days of
the average Musk warrior growing up unaware of the female of
the species were long gone.
Of course, Royalty tends to stick to tradition...
Hemlock's mother, the King, was a woman, (at least part-
time,) and he'd journeyed abroad many times; over the course
of the years he'd become quite used to the sight of covered
breasts, to the point where he could resist the urge to stand
and drool mindlessly at the mere sight of them. Instead, they
simply drew his eye like a magnet, just like every other
heterosexual male on the planet.
However, in the course of all his wanderings and
diplomatic jaunts, he had never, _ever_ seen a naked breast.
Until today.
Oh, it wasn't _completely_ bare, you understand. You
couldn't exactly see the nipple. But there was definitely some
of the 'nippular area' in view. It was enough.
Prince Hemlock was awestruck. Tentatively, carefully. he
extended his hand to touch the sacred object. His outstretched
fingers gently brushed the Holiest of Holies for a fraction of
an instant, before his arm (and the rest of him) fell slack,
as Ichino struck him unconscious with one whack of a folded
steel battle-fan.
"YOUR WINNAH!!! ICHINO... BOGARD!!!!!!!"
*********************
"Congratulations, Sempai," Ranko snarked. "You've just
set the cause of feminism back fifty years."
"Oh, pooh." Ichino pish-poshed. "It's not my fault I'm
too much woman for the big-bad Prince to handle..."
"I dunno, Sempai. I think he'd've given it the ol'
college try, at least..."
********************
TO BE CONTINUED!
END NOTE TO CHAPTER SEVEN:
This chapter, more than any other, requires a hats-off to
my inspirations. A hearty BANZAI to RpM and Twoflower, whose
works "The More Things Change Prt.2" and "MTCFF ULTRA"
respectively have influenced this chapter greatly. I hope that
these gentlemen take this the way it was meant; as a tribute
to their works, which have provided many hours of enjoyment to
me and (no doubt) countless others.
CAST NOTES:
Permanent Cast:
Kobuta Hibiki - 17 year old son of Ryoga and Akari
Sachiko Tendo - 16 year old daughter of Ranma and Akane
Ranko Tendo - 19 year old daughter of Ranma and Akane
Chugoku Kuonji - 16 year old daughter of Mousse and Ukyo
Ti-Pi - 16 year old daughter of Koruma and Lung Lung
Burakuro Taro - 18 year old son of Pantyhose and Kodachi
Kin Kuno - 16 year old daughter of Tatewaki and Nabiki
Achika Masaki - 16 year old daughter of Tenchi and Ryoko
Keiichi Ono - 17 year old son of Tofu and Kasumi
Nobohiko Sarugakure - Son of Sasuke and (censored)
Lina Gosunkugi - 16 year old daughter of Hikaru and Miyo
Dave Menard
-------------------------------------
Fanfiction pages: http://spghome.tripod.com/
"Just as there are laws of Conservation of Matter and Energy, so there are
in fact Laws of Conservation of Pain and Joy. Neither can ever be created or
destroyed.
But one can be converted into the other."
-Spider Robinson, 1977