Hi,
Based on the commentary here, I made edits throughout the story. I tried to
tone down the crying and giggling a bit. I made other minor edits to try to
better express Ranko and my view of her personality. I didn't mean for her
to come across as weak, just emotional, and so I went through the whole
story and edited places where I realized that wasn't coming across well.
There have been no changes in the plot, just the prose.
One example: when Shampoo and Ukyou attack Genma, instead of saying "Please
don't hurt him!" Ranko says "I won't let you hurt him!". There are lots of
small changes like that.
Rather than post the whole mammoth thing here again, I just updated the
version posted at Steve's site. If you want to look it over, it's at:
http://www.zebra.net/~spardue/anime/
I plan to post the story to rec.arts.anime.creative in a few days, so if you
want to comment on the revised version, please do so soon. After that, I'll
convert it to HTML, and Steve will link to that version, too. Eventually
(very eventually) I will have my own fanfic page, and give Steve back the
huge amount of real estate I am taking up on his site (thanks, Steve!). The
text files for the chapters have already moved to my web space, and Steve is
linking to them.
If you want a preview of the HTML, I already did the first chapter as a
test:
http://homepage.mac.com/dgoldsmith/gd/daughter-1.html
This was based on Joseph Palmer's templates for XHTML and CSS. Thanks,
Joseph!
Thank you to everyone for your comments (even the people who told me they
didn't like it...). While I didn't agree with everything, getting other
people's perspectives helped me to improve the story; it's better for this
latest editing pass. I know my next story will be better as a result of all
the comments on "Genma's Daughter", too.
Thanks again!
Deborah