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Here we go again...
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-- File: valium1.txt
V Is For Valium
By
Kevin Callahan
What can I write? The good times are over. It's just too
much, I can't take it anymore. I'm just too depressed, too
tired, too stressed to go on. Don't be sorry that I am gone.
It needed to be done, I just can't live anymore. I look down
as a write this, and all I see is a scared little girl in
need of supportive hands that just aren't there. You try, oh,
I know that. Don't be insulted, but you're no longer good
enough. I need a parent figure, something more than even
Artemis can give me. True, he's a leader, a helper, an
informer, but he is only a cat. I long for human contact that
is more than just casual, more than just lust. You a... were
my best friends, I know that, but you could, still, after all
we've been through, be only that.
Don't blame yourselves, it isn't your fault. None of you
will be expecting this, I know that. There's nothing you could
have done, don't think there was, you'll only torture yourself
needlessly. No one made me do this but myself. Funny, I never
thought I'd die alone, I always thought I'd die with you by my
side... Who'd think, the great Sailor V reduced to suicide!
That'll sell a lot of movies. Another six months, I'll be
unknown, and I'll be obsolete as you continue your battles. Now,
for what you're all waiting for, I'm sure. Who gets what. Oh,
come now, don't be so shocked, it's the only proper thing to do.
To Usagi, I bequeath my Sailor V collectibles. Everything
I've gotten in return for playing said role is hers. I know,
despite being the leader, Usagi, you always held a place in your
heart for the awe my presence engendered. You were always my
biggest fan, and I've always loved you for it. To see the
innocent wonder on your face was worth every hard deal I struck,
every legal meeting, every attempt to make sure they didn't
find out my chief negotiator was, in fact, a cat. You made it
all worth while, I wish you still did.
To Ami, I give my library. It's in very good condition,
for, as you well know, Ami-chan, I so rarely used it. I've
always admired your intelligence, and your ability to suck
knowledge up as if through a straw in a delectably strawberry
milkshake. I wish I had your abilities... yet another thing
I've failed at. I should have paid more attention in school
when I had the chance, but it's too late now. I know you will
take good care of my books. They have more to say to you,
anyway.
To Rei, I leave all the equipment I've acquired through
tours and specials. I bet you didn't know Sailor V had her own
studio. I do. I also know that you have far more talent than
I ever did. You're like a goddess when you sing. Your voice
lifts people farther than my transparent popularity ever could.
You're the talent. I'm just a fraud. You deserve all the
equipment I have to give you. A voice like yours should never
go to waste.
To Makoto, I send the cookbooks and recipes I never
could get right. My hands always got in the way, and my eyes
never saw the right directions. Generally my concoctions were
deadly, causing those that tasted of them to gag repeatedly in
my presence. I've never been able to express myself in the
ways of nurturing, as I have so often seen you to do. You can
end so much sorrow with a cake, with a story, with just
sitting there and listening. I've always felt so safe with you.
I never worried if you were there. You'd protect me when I was
fragile. That's the way it was. The way it WAS. No longer,
my dear Mako-chan.
I love you all deeply, but I can not let that get in my
way, or I'll just end up hurting you. I'm grabbing the bottle,
and taking out the pills. I won't even know what happened a
second after I do it. I'll never remember, I won't remember
anything. No pain. That's the great thing about these. You can
be run over by a tank and not feel it... Or you could jump off
a building, like the one I'm looking down from. Please...
forgive me, minna-san, I can't bare eternity without your
forgiveness.
Sayonara
Aino Minako