Greetings, Latin D!
Hey, Morgan!
I guess I can't hassle you with "When's chapter 6? When's chapter 6?"
anymore, can I? Hmmm...
When's chapter 7? ^_^
Um, seeing all the revisions I'll have to make... Look for a chair. ^_^
Well, I _could_ offer excuses for the delay. I could... and I will. ^_^
Sounds fair. I'll even listen to your excuses... before I condemn you! ;b
That's because you don't know the astonishing number of excuses I've made
up. You'll fall asleep before I finish!
"Away for some time", "busy with other works" and a lots of others
work.
Sorry; I'll try to be quicker next time. Someday, I'll be as fast as
Morgan Hudson, or Jamie Wilde, or Sparky Clarkson, you'll see.
Well, to do that, you'll have to master the ancient fanfic writing speed
technique, the dreaded "Fanfic Typing On An Open Fire" post!
That's where we set fire to a computer keyboard and force you to write
spamfics until you can finish a chapter without burning your hands. ^_^
Well, a technique is a technique... I'll try it after finishing the "Bakusai
Keyboardtsu" training. That's where you make your little brother hit your
hands with a keyboard, till they are strong enough to type for hours on end.
You have no idea how hard answering to this C&C is going to be. My fingers
HURT! ^_^
Yeah, right. ^_^
No, honestly: EVERYBODY has to do it. Really! ^_~
So THAT'S why so many fanfics are never finished... ^_^
Anyway, I'd like to thank Trevor Hoffert, Wanderer D, Henrique M.
Holschuh,
Larry F and Con_Man for prereading. Without them, you could find lots
of (not so) interesting errors in the fic.
A finer bunch of gents never lived! Although, they DO make my job as a
C&C'er much, much harder...
I love them! Besides, it's not like you didn't have anything to say about
this chapter. ^_~
And I, as always, am begging for any and all C&C you can send me.
Public is wonderful, but I prefer public, okay? Pleeeease...? Drop me
a line, and telll me what you think of the chapter.
I always do, my good friend! And, using my great mental powers, I detect a
sense that you might possibly prefer public... ^_~
I always said you were shrew and perceptive... Now I know why no one
believed me! ^_^
After the long-winded notes, let's get on with the fic, shall we?
Woah! I thought we had already started! :D
Heheheh. Yes, because there was SO much action in my notes...
All joking aside (for about three seconds), please keep in mind that the
views expressed in this C&C belong solely to the overworked and slightly
warped tangle of burnt fuses and frayed wires that I call my brain. If you
disagree with anything I say, feel free to plug your ears, hum loudly and
off-key, and wait for the nice men in the white coats to carry me away.
Um, if I plug my ears and hum loudly while reading a mail, the nice men in
white coats will come after ME. So, I guess I'll have to pay close attention
to every little comment you make. ^_^
___________________________________
SILENT BATTLES
A Ranma 1/2 / Robotech crossover
by Latin_D (latin_d@uol.com.ar)
___________________________________
Chapter 6: Choices And Memories
Oh, goody! Where'd I leave my popcorn?
HOMER: Don't have a clue. *burp*
Thrusters ignited, and the SDF-1 trembled with the unbound power
of its colossal reflex engines. The white-blue novas of its drives
Yay! A nitpick! See, I think the phrase "blue-white" is slightly more
appropriate than "white-blue". Y'see, "blue-white" implies that the
thruster
wash is mostly white with a bluish tinge. "White-blue" suggests the
opposite.
...Ooookay. ^_^
Seriously, do you really remember whether they were "blue-white" or
"white-blue"? It's been a long time since I've seen the anime.
Well, that ought to do me for the next little while. I always feel better
after the first one. ^_^
Really? Well, I don't. I have to nitpick and nitpick, and maybe later
nitpick a little more. It's as addictive as Protoculture, I tell you!
lit
the lonely Pluto for the final time, and so the starship began the long
trip back home. Left behind was the corpse of Macross Island, a new and
mysterious satellite of the ancient planet. In the chunk of frozen
seawater that still adhered to the fragment of earth, however, the
May I just mention here that your openings get better and better? I wager
that most of the time spent on these chapters goes into getting a great
opening. The imagery and word choice are both very good.
Thank you. I, much as you, believe in the importance of opening, if only to
set the reader into the right mood. It took me some time, but I like the way
this one turned out.
supercarriers Daedalus and Prometheus were missing. After being made
airtight and operational once again, both carriers had been linked to
the battle fortress in record time, and were now integral parts of it.
Ah, yes, the SDF-1 as we all know and care for her is finally in one
piece.
It just ain't the same without those aircraft carriers hanging on either
side. Not to mention how difficult it would be to pull off the Daedalus
Manuever without a Daedalus to use. ^_^
More than difficult, it'd be suicidal. ^_^
Now that I think about it, they could use the Prometheus, and create a
Prometheus Maneuver! Talk about alt unis...
As the huge vessel lost itself in the distance, the peace so
common in that forgotten corner of the Solar System was disturbed one
more time. The entire starfield shimmered as one, signaling the
start of
a fold operation. Right beyond Charon's orbit, incandescent motes
appeared from nowhere, dancing left and right with complete freedom
across a large zone of space. Then came larger anomalies: furious
comets, hellish fireballs hot as the Sun. Slowly at first, they began
circling around an imaginary force field, forming a globe of light
brighter than a supernova. Closer and closer to each other they came,
until a terrible explosion disrupted their harmony and dissolved the
sphere, seemingly shredding the universe itself with its might at the
same time. Raw energy poured through the rift, pulling outward and
widening the hole. Ship by ship bridged the long gap of space,
Okay, that alone would bankrupt the special effects budget if they ever
made
a live-action movie of this. Very well written, my good friend! I like the
description: keep it up! ^_^
Thanks! ...Though, now that I think about it, maybe I should cut down on the
special effect. That way, they WILL be able to make a live-action movie with
it. ^_^
crossing
the unique stargate and completing the transition from the far-off
Earth. The irregular-shaped, cylindrical Zentraedi spaceships
multiplied by the minute, more numerous than the visible stars.
Did anybody else ever find it funny that the SDF-1 was basically under
attack by a bunch of pickles? I mean, LOOK at those ships, and tell me
they don't look like giant pickles! How can they be menacing?
I think the reflex cannons, laser cannons, light lasers, laser turrets,
missile turrets, and thousands of battlepods they contain have something to
do with it...
As many before me have said: Silly-looking? Of course... But I wouldn't tell
that to a Zentraedi commander if I were you.
Finally, it was over. The largest Zentraedi armada ever
Err... No.
This is just Breetai's unit. I believe the closest a count McKinney gives
is
"several hundred thousand ships". True, he DOES refer to them as "the
largest armada ever assembled" himself, but there's a tiny problem with
that. Namely, the Grand Fleet and Imperial Fleet.
Remember the Grand Fleet that Dolza comes after Earth with? To quote
Exedore, "four million eight hundred thousand ships with the destructive
force of a supernova". That is the biggest Zentraedi armada ever. When he
is
placed back in command of the hunt, afer Azonia's failure, Breetai is
given
command of the Imperial Fleet, nearly one million ships. Both of these
fleets existed at the time, and both are MUCH larger than this "largest
armada ever assembled".
Er... Yes--and no. I had this same discussion with one of my prereaders.
Y'see, while it's true that both the Imperial and the Grand Fleet are
immensely larger than this one, I believe they had never been used before.
Dolza says as much when he arrives to Earth, and is very surprised about the
power of his own armada, remember? I called it the largest Zentraedi armada
ever "reunited", and that may be the problem. Ever "deployed", perhaps?
arranged itself behind the flagship, showing a grade of coordination
unthinkable for such numbers. An order was sent and, like titanic green
and brown whales swimming through an ocean of blackness, the
nightmarish
dreadnoughts set off after the departing SDF-1.
I like the scene you set here. I can really see the fleet, and you do a
good
job of impressing just how large they are, in size as well as in number.
Thanks again. The first image that came to my mind when I tried to picture
them, was large, lazy whales, so I used it. However, in that scene in "Do
you remember love?" (non canon, but who cares?) where
The Zentraedi had come, and a cat and mouse game of galactic
dimensions was about to begin.
I think you mean "galactic proportions".
Um, I've heard "dimensions" used as synonym for "size" and "extent" many
times before. Like in: "A problem of enormous dimensions." So, unless the
adjective ("galactic" in this case) makes that structure impossible, it
should work all right. I'll check it up.
Ranma Saotome was not particularly given to fear. Actually, his
only phobia involved cats, and he only suffered it because of one
unfortunate episode. For years he had been convinced there was nothing
in this world
Crazy Steve (from Braveheart) : Stephen be my name, and I'm the most
wanted man on my island! But, we're not ON my island, more's the pity...
See, "this" world refers to the one Ranma is in AT THE MOMENT. And the
world
Ranma is "in" at the moment isn't Earth. I think you may want to just say
"nothing on Earth", to remain clear.
Crap! You're so right, it's scary. How the heck do you notice these things?
Will fix.
that could scare him; neither dangerous animals (cats did
not count in his mind), nor dragons and other supernatural beings, nor
even homicidal demons could phase him in the slightest. That is, until
he started living with the Tendos. It was then that Ranma had
encountered one of the true horrors of life: an enthusiastic woman.
A terror that every anime male shares.
For reasons beyond my grasp...
With, of course, the exception of our
favorite Golden Boy, Kintaro Oe. He finds enthusiastic women to be VERY
educational... ^_^
I know nothing about Kintaro, sorry. ...For some reason, I feel like like
I'm losing a great joke. ^_^
Be it her fiancees, or later Nodoka, women had always caused him
all sorts of problems. The worst came with his curse. Since that
Interesting approach. Whether deliberately or not, it can be argued that
the
one woman who has truly made Ranma Saotome's life miserable is none other
than Ranma Saotome.
Wow, that's deep, my friend. Is it still you, Morgan? Or something took
control over your body? ^_^
Seriously, who knows what would've happened if Ranma hadn't been cursed?
There're enough alternate universe stories out there to realize that things
could've gone much, MUCH worse for Ranma.
Besides, there was something about Lena that reminded her of her
mother. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact they were
ARRRRGH! >_<
Oooh, this sounds bad...
Okay. You're my friend, so I'll warn you this time. I don't mind whether
you
refer to the female Ranma as a he or a she. That's not what this is about.
However... PLEASE STICK WITH ONE! In the last paragraph, Ranma was "he".
Now, Lena reminds "her" of "her" mother. You do it a few more times later
on, too. You even switch in mid-sentence once or twice. Please, please,
watch that.
My bad! This was the problem. In my initial draft, I used only feminine
pronouns for the whole scene. However, one of my prereaders believed it was
confusing, especialy because it was the first time I mentioned Ranma in this
chapter. Another good point he made is that I shouldn't assume that readers
would remember that Ranma was in a she in that moment, as that had happened
last chapter.
So I changes all the feminine pronouns (if you say I changed in
mid-sentence, then I must've forgotten some) and made that reference about
him being in his cursed form before switching. I was sure that would be the
right thing to do, that everyone would be happy with it, and that it might
even bring peace to the entire world... I was wrong. ^_^
Anyway, I'll go back to referring to Ranma as a she during the entire scene,
and trust my readers to remember such details. Thanks for the catch!
women, or with that air of nobility that surrounded them. Both had the
same gentle but firm demeanor, too. She could hardly refuse talking to
her, and running away was out of the question, so she decided the only
option left was endure it and try not to screw up.
She just was thankful she didn't carry a katana around.
Huh? Ranma's thankful that Ranma doesn't carry a katana? Since when did
Ranma ever carry a katana?
I know that's not what you meant, but it's what you said. Remember how I
mentioned that "he" or "she" always refers to the last man or woman named?
Well, you can't have two different "she"s in the same sentence. You also
made it sound like Ranma didn't want to refuse talking to herself.
If both speakers are of the same gender, try to make it clear who is being
referred to. Instead of "she", try "Ranma", or "the red-haired girl".
Instead of "her", try using "Lena", or "the older woman", or such. A bit
variety can help keep heads straight.
Again, you're absolutely right. This is something I tend to overlook,
although I DO remember what you'd said. Next time, I'll try to not make the
same mistake... or maybe I'll find some really good excuse so as to not look
so bad. ^_^
'I really should already have answers for this kind of
questions,' Ranma thought, silently berating herself. "Uh, well,"
Yeah, you think he... er, she... (Damn! Now I'M doing it!)
But you're doing it on purpose. ^_~
would have a
convenient story or two prepared for just such an occassion...
Ranma, planning ahead? Way too OOC! ^_^
she
lamely started, brainstorming for a believable story, "I guess you
could say we first met in China..."
Sorry, but that reminds me of one of the many funny scenes in Futurama.
Why should you be sorry? I love Futurama!
Zap Brannigan : Why, Leela! I believe we've... met.
Bender : (whispers to Leela) He means you guys did it!
[LATIN_D sits at a confortable chair, gently tapping an expensive-looking
pen on his chin. MORGAN lays at a nearby couch.]
LATIN_D: So, Mr. Hudson, when do you think this fixation of yours began?
MORGAN: I really don't know. I _think_ it was around the time Diana, my dog,
had puppies. I was so...
LATIN_D: *Interesting...*
^_^
Not that I'm one to talk, seeing all the hentai jokes I made in my last Dark
Crusade C&C. Oh, well, at least we're _happy_ perverts... ^_^
'Who's this Kyle?' silently wondered Ranma, and decided she
Kyle, dear Ranma, is the guy we all want you to go and kick square in the
nuts. Trust us, you'll enjoy it as much as we would. He's an ass. I'm
pretty sure Kuno could (and WOULD) beat him like a human pinata.
Is it me, or you really hate Kyle? ^_^
would
find out later. "Anyway, I lived in a small village that he visited in
one of his trips, and we became friends." 'Hey, I'm good at this!' she
thought, happy with herself.
Oh, poor, poor, Ranma. Absolutely no idea what he's getting both of his
selves into, is he? ^_^
He HAS to put his foot in his mouth. It's canon! ^_^
though, so don't be surprised if you find me there." It was better to
cover her tracks, she reasoned, as what had happened that day could
easily happen again.
(smacks self in forehead) Yep, that's Ranma all right. Open mouth, insert
foot. I'm surprised he doesn't choke on his knee. ^_^
Heheh. He has too much practice to choke. The gag reflex is virtually
non-existent nowadays...
*runs away from the flow of hentai jokes*
lost, and Max busy helping with the rebuilding, all Lena had left was
Jason. However, the child had lately spent more and more of his free
time with Ranma, studying the Art. The young martial artist felt a bit
guilty because of this, and decided she would try to take a bit of that
loneliness away.
I notice that "Ranko" didn't notice her transformation into Ranma's
girlfriend, did she? It's good to see that you're keeping the Ranma 1/2
flavour of gender switching and romantic confusion, even in the more
serious Robotech setting.
Robotech, despite some moments (which I can count with the fingers of my
hands), is SERIOUS. Yes, with caps. If I didn't use some of Ranma's most
comic aspects, it could become pretty dark, and I don't want that.
standing on line, waiting to get the frugal rations of food that the
army distributed. The biggest problem was that the ship hadn't been
prepared for supporting the entire population of Macross, and while the
food supply saved from the shelters was considerable, Gloval had wisely
decided that a careful handling of the resources was in order.
The food supply seems far less considerate when one realises it has to
last them from Pluto to Earth. The shelters wouldn't have quite THAT
much food in them, and since the trip is going to take them a little
over a year, it's a
good thing that Gloval was smart enough to ration from day one. It's
easier than trying to impose rations only after the supply starts running
out.
Gloval was clever, all right. However, I think the ration system lasted only
for some time. I mean, the life in Macross never seemed frugal or spartan to
me, and there was that one time when a woman gave the Zentraedi spies food
for free.
"Oh, but you _have_ to stay a little longer." Ranma's surrogate
aunt seemed very disappointed. "There's so much I want to ask you. I'm
very fond of Ranma, you know, and I want to learn more about him. He's
just so... reserved! By the way, Ranko, is he as healthy as he seems?"
Lena asked, winking mischievously.
"Healthy?" Ranma repeated, nonplused. Lena just stared at
Typo : nonplussed
Why, yes, it is! And here I though I had caught them all. This one is MINE!
her,
and soon realization dawned on Ranma, closely followed by panic.
Ah, the usual Saotome denial: dramatic, emphatic, and FAR too late to do
any good at all. ^_^
Heheh. Well, at least his denials make me laugh, so they ARE good for me.
^_^
Lena giggled upon seeing her reaction. "You needn't get so
flustered, my dear. It was just a joke!"
It's a good thing that Lena didn't decide Ranko was too shy for her own
good, and started trying to help her "win over" Ranma.
No, but she may still decide to help Ranma get over her shyness...
Lena turned to Ranma. "Stay here; I'll be back in a moment!" She
practically ran out the door, for once forgetting to act demurely.
When the front gate was safely closed, she rushed towards the
kitchen, where she knew she could find hot water. She also wanted
See, here you go again. The last "she" you mentioned was Lena. Now "she"
is rushing to the kitchen. Turn that first "she" in your paragraph into
"Ranma", please.
Gotcha. Consider it fixed.
Jeez, you make one mistake... throughout the entire text. ^_^
meet Minmei, but becoming male first sounded like a good idea. In a
matter of seconds she had located a faucet, and once again Ranma
marveled at the efficiency and velocity of the building crews. In
YAY! IT'S TIME FOR SOME MATH!
Math? Aw, man, I'm no good at math...
A building crew can't have velocity. Unless, that is, you fire them out of
a cannon. Velocity, you see, isn't speed. They're closely related, but
velocity is actually the derivative of speed. Velocity is a measurement of
how quickly a thing's speed is increasing.
Long story short, change that word. Maybe just have Ranma marvel at the
efficiency of the crews. "Speed" is a tricky word too, mathmatically
speaking.
Ookay. I really didn't know all that, but my physics teacher will be
delighted that I actually learned something useful. ^_^
To tell the truth, that was my damn Spanish showing its really ugly head.
"Velocity" is frequently used in many common phrases, and sometimes I don't
catch myself in time and use it. Won't happen again (yeah, right).
then that he heard the front door being forcefully thrown open one more
time. Ranma jerked his head back in surprise, forgetting,
unfortunately, about the faucet.
That must hurt. I actually did it myself, a time or two, and I can
sympathize with the poor guy. There's nothing quite like getting a metal
faucet rammed into the back of your skull to let you know it's going to be
a bad day. ^_^
Heh. At least you're not one of the best martial artists in the world, ne?
"Ouch!" Clutching the back of his head in pain, he hurried out
of
the kitchen into the main room. There he was able to see Uncle Max and
Mayor Tommy Luan entering the restaurant--and dragging the unconscious
form of the infamous Rick Hunter with them, he noted with relief.
Infamous? That's a pretty good one, actually. If Rick were awake, he might
even like it. ^_~
Especially if he compares it to the other adjective Ranma will use, yeah.
^_^
"Hey, Ranma!" Tommy Luan gasped as he wiped his brow with a
handkerchief. "You can't imagine how happy I'm of seeing you! Come
That sounds a bit awkward, especially for a politician. Maybe "You can't
imagine how happy I am to see you!", instead.
You're the master in dialogue, m'friend. Will change, of course.
"Sure," Ranma said, not turning around, "no problem." Only when
he reached the first floor did he realized the real meaning of this new
turn of events: there was only one spare bedroom in the White Dragon,
and it was the one he was currently occupying, so that meant... Oh,
crap.
This was going to be messy.
Ranma Saotome... and Rick Hunter... are going to be ROOMMATES? Oh, I don't
think "messy" can BEGIN to describe this one... I almost can't bring
myself to look! ~_~
And yet... I can't look away... O_O
Heheheh. Wait till next chapter, and... let the carnage BEGIN! ^_^
---
"Sensors register defold activity, sir!" Vanessa's voice cut
through the bridge with infinite clarity.
No, there's no such thing as "defold" activity. Like how nobody can ever
un-explode a bomb. Folding is folding, no matter what end of it you're
watching.
You think so? The anime wasn't precise (not even close) but according to
McKinney's descriptions (which may not be the most accurate, but they're
still canon in this fic), the spacefold is a process with a beginning and an
end. The application of energy needed to leave the space-continuum may not
necessarily be the same that when entering to it.
But this is a can of worms I don't want to open, so I'll simply use
"spacefold activity".
And YES, I know McKinney uses the phrase. Robotech : Genesis, chapter 21,
page 185. He didn't always know what he was talking about.
Well, I knew I'd heard the word somewhere, but I wouldn't have been able to
find the exact reference if my lie depended on it. So, either you looked for
it, or you have one helluva memory. Whatever the case, thanks for the
effort.
On top of which, it was an unidentified tech who said that. Vanessa Leeds'
exact words were "Radar reports unidentified object, bearing
six-two-seven-seven, possibly of alien origin."
Well, I really try not to copy the exact words--not that I'd remember them.
MY memory isn't what it used to be (which is especially frightening,
considering I'm 17). ^_^
But who's being picky? ^_^
DO I have to answer, and was this question purely rhetoric? ^_^
was simply too powerful, and the SDF-1's capabilities to repel its
advance had been greatly damaged now that the main gun was reduced to a
last resort option. Lang's diagrams determined that the modular
tranformation needed to fire it would all but destroy Macross city, and
Gloval refused to subject the refugees to such chaos again.
All he could do now was wait--and pray.
Heh. Great line. ^_^
Thanks! For almost the entire war, Gloval had to deal with thousand of
unknowns and uncertainties--and this says something about his ability as a
commander, don't you think?
Minmei's umpteenth retelling of her adventure in the bowels of
the starship was cut short as a smiling Roy Fokker walked into the
restaurant.
Speaking of the restaurant, you've neglected to point out that it's open
for business now. This is some time after Rick and Minmei were found.
Rick is also awake, and Roy should be here to talk to him about joining
the RDF.
Ah, yes, I will correct this. In fact, it's a very good suggestion, as it'd
give the readers some reference on the timeline.
In truth, it was not an unusual sight those days; Roy had
stopped
by from time to time in the past weeks to inform Minmei's relatives of
the (lack of) progress in the search for her and Rick. From the casual
conversations Ranma had frequently held with the blond man, he knew
that
Roy had a special relationship with the young pilot. In fact, he had
once referred to Rick as "Little Brother", despite the fact that they
were not related, as Roy himself had admitted.
I'm surprised Roy didn't give Ranma the whole story about Pops Hunter's
Flying Circus, and the whole story about how he and Rick had known each
other for so long, and how Roy had practically been part of the family,
and such.
You really think Roy would do that? So early in their friendship? I always
saw that part of Roy's life like a sore spot for him, and deenitely not
something he would include in a casual chat. However, as their relationship
evolves, that talk will probably happen.
Roy strolled up to the table shared by the Lynn family and Ranma
and flashed one of his patented grins. Ranma's trained eye observed the
secure, confident, evenly-measured steps he employed, knowing them to
be
reserved to accompished martial artists, and made a mental note to get
him as a sparring partner.
Heh. Yeah, between Roy Fokker and Max Sterling, I often wondered if Kyle
was
really as hot as he seemed to think he was.
Um, I don't know about Roy. In fact, as you well know, I hadn't remembered
about his martial arts background until you told me. So I'm going to take
advantage of the lack of referenced and punctual information to make as good
as I want. ^_^
But, taking into account that brawl at the White Dragon (the day Kyle
arrived to the SDF-1, IIRC), Kyle is definitely a better fighter than Max.
Of course, part of it may just
be my utter disgust and hatred of Lynn Kyle. The only thing that guy ever
did right was die. ^_^
Heheh. If you keep this up, I may try to show the good, benevolent and
honourable side of Kyle's character, just to piss you off... That is, if he
actually has one. ^_^
"No, please, there's no need; I'll come back later. After all,"
Roy said, smirking, "poor kid needs as much beauty sleep as he can get.
Besides, I also wanted to talk to Saotome here."
See, the problem here is that it sounds as if this is, like, the same DAY
that Minmei and Rick were dragged in, and that Rick is still sleeping. He
should be up and about by now.
Yes, I'll add some time reference, all right. More about this at the end.
Where is he?
In the wings, waiting for my call.
"Oh, is that so, Fokker?" Ranma asked, a grin of his own in his
lips. He didn't know who was the first one that had used the last name
to call the other, but now it was almost a tradition whenever they met.
"Well, let's go outside."
I've got a very bad feeling about this. I sense a major change in canon,
and it's not one I'm fond of. See, this bodes ill for the future of a
certain
Rick Hunter...
There will be changes; after all, why the heck would Ranma be there for, if
that weren't the case? But I don't understand why you think this would be
bad for good ol' Rick.
Together they left the White Dragon, Ranma trying to hide his
curiosity. They stopped at the sidewalk, standing side by side and idly
watching the busy street. After a moment's hesitation, Roy turned and
faced Ranma.
"Well, y'know we're short-handed nowadays, dontcha?" Seeing
Ranma
nodding hesitantly, he continued, "I'll be blunt, Saotome, we need
pilots. There're more Veritechs than people capable of flying 'em, >
and--"
AAAAAGH! NO NO NO NO NO!
YES! YES! Um, maybe it WASN'T as good for you as it was for me, ne? ^_^
You just put Robotech at a ninety-degree angle to itself, my friend.
Roy Fokker just DIDN'T ask Rick Hunter to join the RDF. That means that
Rick WON'T, because after the modular transformation, he's supposed to
accept Roy's offer, which was just not made.
This was my take on the subject: Roy _suggested_ Rick that it'd be for the
best if he became a pilot. However, after the battle where the SDF-1
transformed, Roy was _determined_ to get him ("Even if I have to ram his
head against a wall." were his exact thoughts) to join the RDF. Of course,
Rick saved him the trouble, as after saving Minmei's life, he took that
decision on his own. Even then, I'm sure Roy would've convinced him, one way
or the other. As the old path had already been explored by McKinney (and so
well I'd never be able to compete), I decided to make a change, and try to
make him a pilot for other reasons.
Don't get me wrong. I understand that Ranma needs to be in the cockpit of
a VT. He can't really do much for the plot if he isn't. However, Rick
Hunter
ALSO needs to be in the cockpit of a VT. And as of now, he won't be. You
just removed the main character from his own series!
But why do you think that was the only possible way that Rick could've
decided to become part of the Army? As I see it, Rick was destined to get
involved in the First Robotech War, and would have sooner or later.
Robotech without Rick
Hunter is like Tenchi Muyo without Tenchi Masaki. It's like Sailor Moon
without... Sailor Moon!
Sailor Moon without Sailor Moon would be... Sailor V! ^_^
Seriously, I agree with you on the importance of Rick in Robotech. It was
never my intention, please believe me, to take him out of his righteous
place in a VF cockpit. However, you must understand that with Ranma there,
Rick will fall second in order of importance.
"Not interested, thanks," Ranma interrupted, frowning.
"C'mon, Saotome, I think you'd do great, really. You may not
have
any instruction, but that's no problem at all; these babies practically
fly themselves! We could surely use someone like you with us, agile and
with quick reflexes." He would have continued, but in that moment, a
familiar female voice echoed through the city.
Okay, here's the thing. Why not just have Rick at the table with Ranma and
the Lynn family? Roy can talk to them both at once, and make the offer to
each of them. Maybe one of them says no (Rick), and the other teases them
into accepting ("What's the matter? Afraid I'll make you look bad?").
Maybe Ranma only joins because he thinks Rick would get killed without
someone watching his back, or the like. This would be a big change from
canon, where Rick says no, and it would get both Rick and Ranma into the
RDF.
This certainly is a possibility, but I have another idea. Go to the end,
where I explain what I'll do to fix some of the mistakes I made in this
chapter. Just to not repeat myself... And yes, I'm lazy. ^_^
As an added bonus, Rick could actually be IN THE CHAPTER. As something
other than a prop or part of the scenery, I mean. One of the things you do
best
is show the way that Rick and Ranma play off of each other and get on each
other's nerves, and that's part of what I love the most about this series.
I'm already chuckling at even the thought of Rick and Ranma having to be
wingmen.
Ah, yes, that's one of my most common mistakes. Some people have told me
that I focus on Ranma too much, and overlook the Robotech cast. No more, I
swear! I'll make the appropriate changes--though, you must understand, the
main reason the chapters focus on Ranma is that, till the moment, I haven't
deviated from canon that much.
See, I really like Rick Hunter. Please keep in mind that he is also one of
the main characters, could you?
Yes, of course. Don't worry, he'll still be a big part of the story. And if
everything goes well enough, he may even be part of this chapter.
<SNIP TO END>
Okay, Max's story about how he was a child and joined the army was a
really nice touch, and I liked it a lot. It's nice to see you paying so
much
loving attention and detail to the minor characters of this series.
Max might even become a main character in this series, or at least he'll
show up frequently enough. And thanks.
The fight scenes were stellar (pun not intended), and I loved the way you
got into Breetai's head while he was watching the battle unfold.
Thanks. Breetai is, IMO, one of the most interesting characters of Robotech.
I still wonder how the heck did he change so much after the final battle
against Dolza.
In fact, I only have one problem with the whole rest of this fic.
Was this sentence really needed? ^_^
The park scene.
Ow, I liked that one. Lesee...
You do realise that you basically just pasted Ranma's name over Rick's,
and replaced Minmei with Jason, right? This entire scene was supposed to
be about Rick deciding he wanted to join the RDF, to help prevent the
disasters he sees (and impress Minmei). Instead, just like in the scene
with Roy, we see Rick wearing a Ranma mask.
Well, in my favor I must say that Ranma is also facing the same
decision--and probably has much more problems with it that Rick ever had. I
agree that the scene with Roy was a big mistake, for reason I'll explain
later on (yes, way down. Sorry).
However, there were two reason I chose the park for the scene with Jason
(which wasn't even necessary, as there were pylons rising and descending all
over the ship). Firstly, it'd give the readers a temporal reference as to
where exactly in the Robotech timeline I'm currently in. I didn't need Rick
(heck, I didn't WANT him) there, so why not to use it? Secondly, I didn't
like the way McKinney wrote that scene. There were too many gaps, too many
missing bits (Minmei is slipping from Rick's grasp, this close to
death--Minmei is safe), and, to be truthful, I don't see Rick as _that kind_
of hero. Jumping over a cliff sounds like Ranma, but seems unnatural (to me)
for Rick.
I want to see Ranma WITH Rick Hunter, not INSTEAD of Rick Hunter. As your
friend, I feel it only fair to warn you that you seem to be taking that
direction in this chapter. Rick was all but non-existant, and his two good
scenes were given to Ranma, with Rick himself nowhere in sight.
A big error, I admit, and one I intend to solve in the revision. However, I
believe (I hope) I can write many non-canon good scenes for Rick, and will
try to.
With someone like Ranma Saotome added to the mix, you can't stay in canon
for long. I look forward to seeing how old enemies and familiar tactics
start to get twisted around, and I want to see how Rick and Ranma together
overcome these new problems. The whole war could go in a new direction,
and that is what I want to see.
There will be changes, as that's what crossovers are all about. In my rush
to get to the funny, interesting parts, however, I rushed Ranma's internal
struggle and forgot about Rick and Lisa--my bad, again.
I don't want to sound like I didn't enjoy this chapter. It was very well
written, and the characters were all well portrayed. As I've already
mentioned, the descriptions were vivid, and the imagery astounding. My
only real complaint is the strange absence of Mr. Hunter from our plot.
I'm
sure it wasn't even deliberate on your part, but I felt that it needed to
be
pointed out.
My pan was to keep Rick out of the picture for one chapter--and only one
chapter--so readers could focus on Ranma. I guess I overdid it, and I
realize now a whole chapter is too long a wait for seeing our favourite
young, cocky pilot insulting Ranma.
Please remember that you don't have to listen to me if you
don't want to.
You have GOT to be kidding me. The day I don't want honest, frontal C&C is
the day I stop writing. You can't even start to imagine how much this helps
me.
Maybe, if I may suggest, you can turn away from canon a little further
than you have? If Rick and Ranma agree to join earlier (due to each
other's
ribbing), maybe you could spend a chapter or two showing the two of them
in training? After all, Rick WILL be a better pilot that Ranma, just as
Ranma
will be a better fighter than Rick. It might be a good way to show them
beginning to get along, or at least antagonise each other less.
I have planned to spent at least a chapter showing Rick and Ranma's
training, but not the way you described. I shouldn't give spoilers, but what
the hell. What I plan to do is actually delay Rick's decision, and, while
making Ranma become a military trainer, a martial arts instructor working
for the Army.
As always, the decisions are yours, and as always I will be on the edge of
my seat waiting for the next chapter of Silent Battles. An amazing
chapter, all told, and a fine addition to the story! I look forward, as
always,
to your next work, pal, and however you decide to take, I promise that
I'll
still be here to read it.
Thanks, and, fine as it may be, it apparently is what I needed. Read the
revision, and tell me what you think, please.
In fact, I reccomend that everybody give this fic a gander. It's worth the
time, and probably one of the better cross-overs on the list right now.
It's got great action scenes, good dialogue, and personally speaking,
there's nothing I find funnier than when Rick and Ranma start arguing and
insulting each other. It's good stuff, people! Read it!
Yeah, read it! I promise I'll add more scenes with Ranma and Rick arguing if
you do! Really! ^_^
Well, that's my piece said. Farwell for now!
Thank you very, very much for the wonderful, insightful and lots of other
good adjectives C&C, pal! I'll do my best to fix and mend this chapter, and
maybe when you read it again, there won't be so many weak links. Rick will
show his u--handsome, I guess, face in this chapter. This, I swear! ^_~
See you, Morgan!
Latin_D