My apologies, everyone.  This damn computer sent the message before I even got to put the script up.  Let's try this again... As a reminder, I want you to decide which is better.  The second one is more suited to the characters, but I want to know what you guys think.


BEGINNING #1:

The scene is a city street in Japan in front of a large house. An old man is sitting on the wall with a teenage girl. A handsome, dark haired teen is seen looking up angrily at a larger, shagy haired teen on the street. The two seem to be arguing about something.

Shin: I�m way better than you.
Kirin: Better than the mighty Kirin? Ha! Inconceivable!
Shin: I�ll show you!
Kirin: Ha! You seem hungry from your trip. Have a knuckle sandwich.
Shin: What a crappy pun.

The smaller teen, Shin, dodges the punch easily but it was just a feignt. Shin takes a hard hit to the gut. He is knocked into a wall nearly unconsious.

Shin: You hit hard. You won�t touch me again.
Kirin: Methinks you should give up.
Shin: Yeah right.
Kirin: What? You still intend to fight after recieving Kirin�s Fist of Justice?
Shin: Does a bear shit in the woods?

The smaller boy attacks with a punch to Kirin�s face. It is blocked by Kirin�s foearm. Shin follows up with a kick that could take a person�s head off. Kirin blocks this as well. Shin agrily sends a flurry of punches at his opponent. All are blocked by Kirin�s iron defence.

Kirin: This fight is ended!

Kirin sends a mighty kick to the boy�s midsection. Shin leaps up at the last second and lands on Kirin�s outstretched leg. He then sends a devastating kick to the larger teen�s face. Kirin staggers back grabbing his nose which is now bleeding. Kirin looks at Shin in rage. Shin just grins confidently. Kirin yells and charges at the boy. Shin has no time to react as he is grabbed by the shirt and thrown through a tree. Kirin smiles smugly.

Kirin: As if we did not know who the victor would be.

Shin rises slowly, shocking Kirin.

Shin: Oh yeah? We�ll see about that!

Kirin readies himself.

Shin: Bastard! Take this! Burning Knuckle!!!

Shin�s fist glows with fire as he punches Kirin in the jaw and embeds him in the wall.

Kirin: Curse you, you fiend!(passes out)
Shin: Ha, got ya.
Old man reading a porno mag: That must be tiring.
Shin: It is (breathing heavilly)
Girl: Wow that was fighting!

Seeing the girl for the first time, Shin notes the very short shorts and the view her low-cut shirt gives of her cleavage. He then suffers a massive nosebleed.

Kirin: (Getting to his feet) Kirin is in much pain.

He notices the girl and his demenor changes.

Kirin: Kirin does not believe we have met oh beautious angel. Let us date.

The girl turns, hammer in hand and sends Kirin into lower Earth orbit.

Kirin: Curses foiled agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!!!!!!
Girl: Pervert. Like I�d go out with him.
Old man: I wonder what�ll happen next?

The three are suddenly covered in a shadow as a figure leaps through the air and lands in front of Shin. Shin looks annoyed at having to go through this again. The youth is smaller than Shin is. He looks at Shin menacingly with shadows over his face.  The shadows move and Ryo is really looking at the woman with a huge perverted grin on his face. He carries a large pack with porno mags sticking out.

Shin: You are you?

The boy snaps out of his haze and faces Shin.

Boy: I am Ryo Muhoshin I have come here to train.
Shin: Really? I guess I have to beat your ass too.
Ryo: As if you could.
Shin: Let�s go.
Ryo: Hey, I just came here to train, but if a fight is what you want... then I�ll happily leave your carcass in a trashcan. (Turns to the woman, grins again) I'll deal with YOU later, hee hee.

Shin wordlessly attacks Ryo who merely dodges every strike with no effort. Shin continues his assault but Ryo just yawns.
Ryo: Boring. C�mon, this is pointless. You�re too slow for me.
Shin: Why don�t you attack then, huh?
Ryo: Very well then.

Ryo disapears much to everyone�s amazement. Shin can�t even see the punches which hammer his body. He falls to his knees. Ryo grins.

Ryo: Done.

Shin rises to his feet growling. Ryo sneers but is knocked out cold when Kirin lands on his head. Shin chuckles at the irony of it.

Shin: So far, the entire comic has been one big brawl. What next?
Old man: Great, great. I�ll accept you as my student. What did you say your name was?
Shin: Shinryu Hideoshi of the Hideoshi-ryuu. 3rd generation master.
Kirin: Kirin is far from done.
Old man: Who are you?
Kirin: Kirin Oda. Decended from the royal line of Oda. You cannot accept a commoner like him over a demigod such as I.
Ryo: Hey, me too! Both you idiots have to beat me still.
Old man: Great, 3 idiots to deal with.
Boy: Make that 4.
Ryo: How long has he been here?
Shin: Don�t know.
Boy: Since the start. Only you didn�t notice me.

The boy steps out of the shadows. He is dressed in chinese clothing and has his long black hair in a braid down his back. He carries a long bamboo sword as well as a backpack.

Kirin: Speak peasant! What is thy name?
Ryo: Dude! Is that a GUY? Or some chick on steroids?
Boy: I�m no peasant. I am Tatewaki Kotobuki, master swordsman. Do not doubt my masculinity, or you will feel the sting of my blade.
Old man: I don�t need this.
Shin: Master Kyosuke?
Kyo: Yes.
Shin: I gotta use your bathroom.
Ryo: Great! Now lemmie train! Pleeeeease!
Kyo: I�ll take only one of you. The last man standing. Kill yourselves if you like.
Shin: Sure, why not?
Ryo: Pain time. I love fightin�.
Kirin: Kirin shall smite you all.
Tatchi: Ha, I think not.

Shin cracks his knuckles as the four advace towards each other.


(Blackout.  Cut to inside dojo 15 minutes later. All four boys look like hell with bruises and bandages. The girl is in the kitchen.)

Kyo: As you know I am the best martial artist in the world...
Shin: (Whispers) And he�s modest, too.
Kyo: ...people throughout Japan and the rest of the world have come to train under me.  I would love to train them all but tradition and family law require that I only train two people at once... (Continues mumbling while Ryo thinks...)
Ryo: *Gee, how interesting, I wonder if he knows that no-one is listening.* (Sees the stack of porno magazines on the chair.) *Wow! Look at all of those women! That guy has a better porno collection then I do!*
Ryo starts drooling, The rest are half asleep.  Shin scratches the back of his head, Kirin yawns.)
Kyo: So as you see, it was in 1969 that we--

Ryo starts panting.

Tatchi: Uhh... aren�t we here for a reason? What was it again?
Kyo: Are you guys listening?
Tatchi: Uhh.. could you run that by me again?

Everyone gives Tatchi an �If looks could kill� glare.

Tatchi: Ummm... Hehe, never mind.
Shin: This is all exceedingly interesting (Yawns) but when are we going to start training?
Kyo: As I said, I can only pick one of you to train here. Who�s it gonna be?

Everyone looks at each other.

Kirin:  I think the obvious choice is Kirin the Magnificent!!!
Shin: Will you stop glorifying yourself you insignificant bastard! It�s gonna be me!!
Ryo: Shut the hell up!! I�m going to be training here!!!
Tatchi: What are we talking about again?
Shin: It�s obvious we should leave him out, he can�t even remember why he�s here!
Tatchi: Hey!!
Kirin: Let us take this outside.

All race outside and get into a square, facing each other.

Kirin: Kirin is going to teach you miserable curs a lesson you�ll never forget!!
Shin: Quit your yappin� you arrogant piece of crap!
Ryo: I�m gonna take you both out you lousy punks!!
Tatchi: Lets get to it!! (Draws sword)
All get into battle stances.  Tatchi takes a swing at Kirin, who easily dodges but gets kicked in the back by Shin.  Kirin gets up and punches at Ryo, who effortlessly dodges the punch, flips, and kicks Kirin into a conveniently placed pond.  Ryo laughs at Kirin then finds a conveniently placed boulder atop his head, thrown by a very wet Kirin.  Tatchi is busy dodging Shin�s punches and kicks, with no time to take a return strike with his sword.  He takes a few swings and gets punched in the jaw.  Kirin and Ryo are busy attacking each other with a flurry of punches and kicks. Shin appears behind them, and smacks their heads together.  They recover and attack Shin savagely. Kirin manages a kick to the stomach, doubling Shin over.

Ryo: FIELD GOAL KICK!!!

Ryo backs up and punts Shin high in the air, over the wall and into the neighbors yard. Scene cuts to neighbors yard. An Old Man comes out, sets up a lawn chair and umbrella and pulls out a bottle.

Old Man:  Ahhh! A nice cold beer!!

Old man is immediately slammed into by Shin, who gets up, and jumps over the fence screaming �I�ll get you!!�  Beer is spilled all over the lawn, Old Man is folded up in the chair.

All four fighters are breathing hard but decide to keep fighting.  They all jump together and fight in a cloud of smoke for about fifteen seconds, cloud moves all over the yard.

Ryo: None of you are gonna stop me. Hahahahaha!

Ryo tosses out some grenades which explode before any of thewm can get away, Ryo included. White out for a few seconds. There is a large crater taking up most of the screen, all four fighters are lying in it, unconscious and blackened. Kyo�s grandson, a boy a little younger than them, starts laughing uncontrollably.

Kyo: Hiroshi, you shouldn�t laugh like that, it isn�t polite.



BEGINNING #2

The camera pans around the streets of a small suburb in Tokyo, Japan. The camera stops and centers on a house of substantial size. A wooden sign that reads "Kyosuke Dojo" can be clearly seen. Voices can be heard just inside the wall. A boy is standing in front of the sign, with a large backpack on.  He is wearing a worn white martial arts gi without sleeves.  His unruly black hair and clothing mark him as a wanderer.

Boy: *Yep, this is the place.  At last, the Kyosuke dojo.*  I'll be the best martial artist in the world after I train under this guy.
Voice: Better than the mighty Kirin? Ha! Inconceivable!

The boy looks up to see a large teenage male with a bag of groceries in hand.

Large boy: Ha! Thou seemest hungry. Perhaps a knuckle sandwich will quench thy hunger.
Boy: God I hate crappy puns. (clutches his stomach)

The larger boy is about to attack when a woman's scream is heard.

Voice: Do I hear a fight?

The three are suddenly covered in a shadow as a figure leaps through the air and lands in front of them. The youth is smaller than both of the combatants are. He looks at them menacingly with shadows over his face.  The shadows move and it is revealed that he has a large goofy grn on.  It is alsao revealed that he has a pair of panties on his head. He carries a large pack with porno mags and various women's underwear sticking out.

Yet another voice: Stop you pervert!!
Boy: Wha--?

All of them turn to see another boy with a yard long braid and a bamboo sword, who advances on the pervert.  The boy is wearing a chinese outfit and a maoist cap. While handsome, he looks almost feminine.

Boy with sword: How dare you--

The gate to the dojo opens and an old man in a martial arts gi is standing before them.

Old man: What is going on here?
Boy: Are you master Kyosuke?
Old man: The same.

All of them stop and turn to him, bowing at the same time.

All: I have come to train under--

They all look at each other.

Kyo: Well, I would love to train all of you, but family tradition requires me to only train two students.  And I'm already training my grandson, Hiroshi, so only one of you will be able to train.

Large boy: In that case, the obvious choice is the mighty Kirin!
Pervert: Who?
Boy: Woah, wait a minute, It'll be me!
Swordsman: For what?
Kyo: Woah, woah! Before you guys beat the crap out of each other, I think I need some introductions.
Boy: My name is Shin Hideoshi, heir to the Hideoshi family dojo.
Large boy: The mighty Kirin Oda is pleased to meet you.
Swordsman: My name is... uhhh... oh yeah. Tatchi Kotobuki... I think.
Pervert: Ryo at your service.  I have come to train under you.
Shin: No you're not.

Shin cracks his knuckles as the four advace towards each other. Suddenly several female voices are heard yelling.

Girl1: Pervert! Give us our panties back!
Girl2: Hey! Who is that cute guy in the white?

Shin looks around.

Shin: Hey! Where's Ryo? AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Shin runs directly into a wall as a mass of women surge toward him.  He shakes his head, then smashes through it and collapses.  The women sprint through the alley.  After they pass, Ryo sticks his head out of a garbage can that looks far too small to fit him.  He is videotaping the girls running from behind with a mini-camcorder.  Shin staggers to his feet and shakes his head.  Kyosuke is holding a bottle of sake and watching with intrest.

Kyo: A little shy around girls, eh?

Shin attempts to attack, but falls to the ground halfway there.

Tatchi: (to Ryo) I got half a mind to deliver you to those girls bound and gagged.
Ryo: You don't have half a mind period.
Kyo: I think you'd better all come inside.

(Blackout.  Cut to inside dojo 15 minutes later. Shin looks like hell with bruises and bandages. The girl is in the kitchen.)

Kyo: (Holding a bottle of sake, red-faced) As you know I am the best martial artist in the world...
Shin: (Whispers) And he's modest, too.
Kyo: ...people throughout Japan and the rest of the world have come to train under me.  I would love to train them all but tradition and family law require that I only train two people at once... (Continues mumbling while Ryo thinks...)
Ryo: *Gee, how interesting, I wonder if he knows that no-one is listening.* (Sees the stack of porno magazines on the chair.) *Wow! Look at all of those women! That guy has a better porno collection then I do!*
Ryo starts drooling, The rest are half asleep.  Shin scratches the back of his head, Kirin yawns.)
Kyo: So as you see, it was in 1969 that we--

Ryo starts panting.

Tatchi: Uhh... aren't we here for a reason? What was it again?
Kyo: Are you guys listening?
Tatchi: Uhh.. could you run that by me again?

Everyone gives Tatchi an "If looks could kill" glare.

Tatchi: Ummm... Hehe, never mind.
Shin: This is all exceedingly interesting (Yawns) but when are we going to start training?
Kyo: As I said, I can only pick one of you to train here. Who's it gonna be?

They are interrupted as a young woman enters the room with tea.

Kyo: Allow me to introduce my lovely granddaughter Azusa.  Which unnya wants to marryer?
Azusa: You're drunk again, grandfather.
Kyo: That's enuff, you gobactathe kitchen.

As Azusa passes Ryo, he casually grabs her ass.  Before Tatchi's sword is halfway out, Ryo is knocked to the ground by a massive hammer wielded by Azusa.

Kyo: So anyway, who's it gonna be? Who's gonna train here?

Everyone looks at each other.

Kirin:  I think the obvious choice is Kirin the Magnificent!!!
Shin: Will you stop glorifying yourself you insignificant bastard! It's gonna be me!!
Ryo: Shut up!! I'm going to be training here!!!
Tatchi: What are we talking about again?
Shin: It's obvious we should leave him out, he can't even remember why he's here!
Tatchi: Hey!!
Kirin: Let us take this outside.

All race outside to tha backyard and get into a square, facing each other.

Kirin: Kirin is going to teach you miserable curs a lesson you'll never forget!!
Shin: Quit your yappin' you arrogant piece of crap!
Ryo: I'm gonna take you both out, then go back inside and... hehe...(Pictures Azusa in his head)
Tatchi: Lets get to it!! (Draws sword)
Shin: Finally! So far, every fight in the manga has been interrupted.  We finally actually get to fight!!
All get into battle stances.  Tatchi takes a swing at Kirin, who easily dodges but gets kicked in the back by Shin.  Kirin gets up and punches at Ryo, who effortlessly dodges the punch, flips, and kicks Kirin into a conveniently placed pond.  Ryo laughs, then finds a conveniently placed boulder atop his head, thrown by a very wet Kirin.  Tatchi is busy dodging Shin's punches and kicks, with no time to take a return strike with his sword.  He takes a few swings and gets punched in the jaw.  Kirin and Ryo are busy attacking each other with a flurry of punches and kicks. Shin appears behind them, and smacks their heads together.  They recover and attack Shin savagely. Kirin manages a kick to the stomach, doubling Shin over.

Ryo: FIELD GOAL KICK!!!

Ryo backs up and punts Shin high in the air, over the wall and into the neighbors yard. Scene cuts to neighbors yard. A middle aged man comes out, sets up a lawn chair and umbrella and pulls out a bottle.

Man:  Ahhh! Mango juice!!

The man is immediately slammed into by Shin, who gets up, and jumps over the fence screaming "I'll get you!!"  Juice is spilled all over the lawn, The man is folded up in the chair.

All four fighters are sweating and breathing hard but decide to keep fighting.  They all jump together and fight in a cloud of smoke for about fifteen seconds, cloud moves all over the yard.

Ryo: None of you are gonna stop me. Hahahahaha!

Ryo tosses out some grenades which explode before anyone can get away, Ryo included. White out for a few seconds. There is a large crater taking up most of the screen, all four fighters are lying in it, unconscious and blackened. Kyo's grandson, a boy a little younger than them, starts laughing uncontrollably.

Kyo: Hiroshi, you shouldn't laugh like that, it isn't polite.



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