(I was going to add more to this...but couldn't think
of anything that wouldn't open up more plot
lines....oh well...maybe I'm just tired...this is
posted with permission from the author of (sur)Real
World)
"Akane," the girl in question looked up from a
doomed brick to regard her oldest sister. "Ranma is
waitressing isn't he."
"Yeah, they talk about his 'cousin' Ranko on the
show from time to time,"Akane agreed. "WHAT!" the
brick died, as did the other five underneath it.
"About it? Why should I care what that baka is
doing?"
"Well, you remember when he was working at the
Nekohanten for Shampoo and her grandmother?"
"Are you talking about the stereo sounding of 'I
hate boys,'" Nabiki asked as she joined her sisters.
"Oh, that." Akane hmphed as she set up a few more
bricks. "One of the few times that he made sense."
Nabiki and Kasumi decided against commenting on that
remark.
"Did anyone ever figure out why he went off the
deep end like that?" Nabiki asked. "I mean he had
been getting irritated with the groping the whole
time, but for a couple days there even Ryouga and Kuno
were avoiding him. Come to think of it, its happened
a couple of times since then, never as bad though."
"Well, he was already depressed and angry that
first time," Kasumi said as she nodded. "It was the
same reason Akane was on edge as well."
"That can't be," Akane paused. "I was... oh...oh
my." Nabiki, meanwhile, merely burst out laughing.
"Nabiki that isn't funny."
"I hadn't thought of that," the middle Tendo
admitted, as she calmed down. "Explains a few things
though, what brought this up?"
"Because Ranma is waitressing as his job on that
show," Kasumi noted.
"So wha....oh...think we should warn them?" Akane
asked.
--------------------------------------------------
*ring**ring**ring*
Nuku Nuku: "Moshi moshi!...no Ranma-san is not
here...mm-hmm mm-hmm...OKAY!! URD-SAN, PHONE!!"
Urd: "I'm coming, I'm coming..."
Nuku Nuku: "She's coming...okay...are you
Akane-san?...Ranma talks about you all the time when
we play...what's that breaking sound?...Oh, here's
Urd-san."
*Urd comes around corner*
Urd: "Thanks Nuku Nuku...hello, whatever it was, it
wasn't my fault...I've haven't done any...oh...one of
Ranma's harem? That sounded oddly like a wall being
knocked down, are things okay over there?....a
condition? What kind of...okay, I'll ask him about
it...moody, irritable, over-reactive....gotcha, thanks
for the warning....Do you want me to relay any
messages for you?.....that's usually my kid sister's
schtick, but I can handle it."
*sets phone in the cradle*
Urd: "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that she
just said that Ranma had periods."
*heads back for the TV room*
--------------------------------------------------
Ranma was having a bad day. A bad day even by his
standards. To understand the depth of what "bad"
means in this case, one should consider that Ranma's
normal day generally involved at least one battle to
the death (not counting Kuno, who is something more
like "stress relief"), maybe two or three attempts to
drug his food, by the two crazier women in his life.
Then of course he had to try and to talk to his best
friend, and "cute" fiancee, without leading her to the
wrong conclusions. Of course, no day would be
complete without getting malleted by his "uncute"
fiancee, several times. Finally, he had to deal with
getting groped by happosai, and having to suffer
through the fathers' latest "operation true romance."
Now that the level of "bad" is at least somewhat
determined, more specific information can be provided.
First of all, he, or she at the moment, was on her
period. Normally she would just avoid the situation
by avoiding her female form. Considering Ranma
preferred to remain male whenever possible anyway,
this wasn't much of a change from any other day. The
problem was that he had been hired as a waitress and
not a waiter. It wasn't like he could walk in and
say, "Hi, I'm Ranko and I'm really a guy, I just have
this curse that turns me into a girl, but since I'm on
my period I'd rather not deal with it. Do you mind?"
This made her irritable on its own, which was blown
somewhat out of proportion by her situation. This did
not reach the level of "bad" by itself, however. Nope
the level of "bad" came from outside his control, to a
certain degree at least.
"Does Ranko seem a little...on edge today?" Washu
asked as the redhead made her way to their regular
table with some drinks. A cute smile was plastered on
her face as she made her way through the tables.
Until, of course, Ataru goosed her. Which is part of
why she had been having "bad" days.
Washu, Urd and Kasuga watched as "Ranko's" smile
vanished, her eye started twitching, and a frightening
blue aura began to emanate from her. Washu and Urd
watched their drinks shaking on the tray and in dismay
decided that they would probably have a wait another
minute to get them.
The tray and drinks went up smoothly, Ranma whipped
around grabbed the offending lecher, turning him to
face her.
"PERVERT!!!"
"Uh..." Ataru didn't get anything else out before
he began he experienced perhaps the most painful slap
he had every felt. This was followed shortly by what
had been named in Nerima the LEO kick as he went
through the roof, rocketing past Washu, Urd's and
Kasuga's drinks, which had just started on the way
back down, still moving smoothly.
Kasuga idly wondered if Ranko was a telekinetic of
some kind as the tray seemed to float into her hands.
Urd and Washu were blinking, trying to figure out how
many times Ranma's hand had connected in the space of
that "one" slap.
The redhead arrived, grumbling to herself and
ignoring the standing ovation from the other women
that were in the restaurant.
~I don't believe I actually slapped him, that's so
girlish,~ Ranma was thinking. "Here're your drinks
guys."
"Hey! Where's that delivery..." Ataru landed back
in the restaurant coming through the same hole he had
made going out. "Morobishi! You have deliveries to
make...this is NOT your break time!"
"Uh, Ranko," Urd said cautiously. "Are you feeling
okay?"
"Oh yes, I just love being groped by ever pervert
in the restaurant," Ranko answered sarcastically. "I
think they're misreading the grab and go sign myself,
but, oh well." Kasuga wisely decided not to move a
muscle while Ranko deposited his drink. "I can't
believe I said that, its so...grr...
anyway, you're food will be out in bit, but I got to
go. Nuku Nuku is out 'playing' with her 'friends' so
I'm the only waitress here."
"Yep, I was right," Urd said as soon as Ranma was
out of earshot.
"Oh definitely," Washu said.
"What are you talking about?" Kasuga asked
nervously, already guessing the answer.
"You don't really want to know, hon," Urd said.
"That's what I thought." Kasuga swallowed and
started drinking.
"She still seems set on acting like a boy though,"
Washu said tapping her fingers. This, if anything,
frightened Kasuga even more. He was well aware of the
pair's matchmaking-plans for Ranko.
"Well, let's wait for her break, maybe it will take
her mind off things," Urd suggested with a shrug.
Kasuga suddenly had an incredible desire to run as
soon as he finished his food. Even Ranma was
impressed with how fast he ate after returning with
the food.
"I guess he had to be somewhere," Ranma muttered to
herself as Urd watched her temporary housemate and
co-worker scamper off with some mild confusion.
"HIII!!!" Nuku turned to look at Ataru peeling
himself off a wall, and then glanced at a few other
male restaunteers that sported slap marks, black eyes,
and were often near glaring girls and women.
"Ranko-san has been playing without Nuku Nuku?"
"Tendo-san," the manager called out. "You can take
your break now, Nuku-Nuku, are there going to be any
more interruptions?" He smiled as the pink-haired
android shook her head cheerfully.
"Finally," Ranma sighed, and then felt a hand on
her shoulder. He turned around to see who it was.
His thoughts began running through the check list.
~Female, good, not a fiancee, good, not Akane....no
comment....Urd...possibly bad.~
"Since you're on your break Ranko-chan," Urd
suggested quietly. "Why not spend it with us girls,
it might take your mind off...certain matters?"
"Uh...sure," Ranma said slowly. Before he could
say anything else he was sandwiched between Urd and
Washu at their table. Neither noticed the girl's skin
color was suddenly matching her hair color.
"You know, Ranko," Washu began. "We're moderately
concerned about you."
"I'm just having a bad day, okay!" Ranma snapped,
no longer embarrassed. "Besides those jerks deserved
it!" There was a scattering of nods among the woman
at that shout. At least between Urd and Washu he
couldn't be groped by any of the jerks that seemed to
have swarmed to the restaurant today. ~Perverts, all
of them perverts.~
"That is not what we're worried about, dear," Urd
said. Ranma recognized this speech, at least he
thought he did. This was his mother's "how are you
going to get a boyfriend speech". The one she seemed
intent on giving everytime "Ranko" made an appearance.
"We're worried about your social life. If you keep
acting like one of the guys, and if you do that
they'll never ask you out."
~I was right,~ Ranma sighed.
"You can be a fighter and still be feminine," Washu
added. "I could introduce you to my daughter if you
want proof."
"And what makes you think I WANT a boyfriend,"
Ranma asked wearily, adding this to his list of "bad"
day things. Ranma glanced around for anyone giving
her funny looks. He noticed Urd and Washu trading
looks and a young woman in the booth next to them
looking at him appreciatively. "I...already
have...someone I like. Okay!" he said firmly in a
restrained, hissing voice, twitching as he said it.
He noticed the woman that had been eyeing him sigh in
slight dismay and return to her meal.
"Oh...that's different then," Urd said, the goddess
relaxed her stance away from interrogation mode for a
moment.
"Certainly," Washu agreed.
~Dodged that bullet.~
"So tell us about..him." Urd smirked. "What's he
like?"
"Or do we have to pump your 'cousin' for
information," Washu asked.
~Oh, what the hell, its not going to get back to
Akane,~ Ranma thought. ~They're talking to Ranko, not
Ranma.~ "Well...they have great fighting spirit, and
certainly nice sometimes, totally clueless in the
kitchen..." Ranma's eyes got a little dreamy as she
recalled Akane 's attempts at cooking. Then she
blinked. ~I'm missing AKANE'S cooking!! I'm going
insane!!~
"Is that all there is?" Urd asked.
"Hey, look, my break is almo..." Ranma's escape
attempt was cut off by some red ribbon or something
that pulled her back down into his seat. She glared
at the mad scientist next to her. "Washu-chan...LET
ME GO!!!"
"You have ten minutes left, Ranko," Washu reminded
her. "Get back to talking."
"Grrr..."
"We could explain to everybody why you are so
touchy today," Urd whispered. She was rewarded with a
low growl before the redhead shrugged her shoulders
and finally gave in.
"Okay, okay," Ranma reluctantly continued.
"Anyway, my..significant other, is a martial artist,
could be great eventually, can already do things with
mallets you wouldn't believe..." That comment tugged
at a memory in Urd's mind, but she couldn't quite
remember what it was.
~Oh, that's right, Ranma's fiancee asked me to
mallet him and tell him Ranma no baka,~ Urd thought.
~That's...hmmm...interesting love triangle here.~
"I'm much better though, and I think it makes them
angry. They're always calling me a pervert or hitting
me, I don't dodge because it would just humiliate
h..them, and they keep accusing me of....cheating.
But they never take the time the to listen to me! I'm
not the best listener, but I TRY!"
"Men always are dense," Washu commented. Urd
snickered while Ranma suddenly looked uncomfortable.
"Uhh...right," Ranma said. "Look I'd like to get
back to work now, no offense, but when I'm working I
can at least work in some training."
"You and your cousin," Urd shook her head. "You
grew up together didn't you."
"You...could say that," Ranma nodded. "Can you let
me go now, or do I have to get out myself?"
"As if you..." Washu blinked as the ribbons flexed
out Ranma leaped out of them. "Hmm, I'll have to
improve the response time on the retraction." Washu
watched as the ribbons contracted back into their box.
Ranma relaxed as he saw Washu and Urd leave after
finishing their food. That left only the perverts to
deal with.
"Psst, if it doesn't work out call me," Ranma again
flushed bright red as the young woman from earlier
slipped him a note. Looking down he saw a phone
number.
"Err..thanks," Ranma swallowed. "But I'm not
interested."
"Of course not," she slurred the phrase
suggestively.
~Perverts and les...les...~ Ranma shook his head
clear as he moved away nervously, the woman smirking
at him. While technically Ranma's female form was a
lesbian, getting her to admit that was amazingly
difficult. Especially considering that she had no
problem with saying how much she disliked the idea of
being with a guy.
Fortunately for Ranma, the rumor of her sexual
preference was an isolated event. At least with the
men he could vent the frustration out.
~Shift's almost over, shift's almost over shift's
almost over.~ Ranma was distracted enough that she
didn't notice where she was going, until she bumped
into something...or rather someone.
"Once again its the pig-tailed beauty," a voice
spoke up.
"Excu..." Ranma cut off from his polite apology as
he suddenly had the misfortune to be kissed by Mikado
Sanzenin again. ~AGAIN!!! HE DID IT AGAIN!!!~
The last time this had happened Mikado had been on
the ice, and Ranma had been more or less composed
before it happened. If Akane hadn't been there Ranma
probably would have settled for merely beating him up
rather than outright humiliating him. As for this
situation. Well, Mikado was almost completely out of
luck.
Ataru nodded at the young man's bravery as Ranma's
battle aura began to overwhelm the lights. Mikado
never saw what hit him, and according to reports
didn't wake up for another two weeks afterwards,
muttering about "such passion she has that it
overwhelmed me."
--------------------------------------------------
Mamoru was the first unfortunate housemate to
encounter Ranma, in male form, though still far more
irritated than his normally high patience level would
allow. Not to mention that he had spent quite a long
time in girl form and his blood chemistry was a long
way from normal for a male at any point. This does
not include Ataru, who had been part of the cause of
Ranma's current mental state.
The almost never present Tux-Boy bumped into the
irritated martial artist while on his way out to a
senshi meeting.
"Sor..." Mamoru cut off as he Ranma pushed him back
into the house shoving him back
"Don't touch me! What's the matter, you're little
harem not enough?" Ranma snapped. "Tux-Boy the
pedophile wants to aim at someone who's actually
nearly an adult? Pervert! All of you! Perverts!"
Ranma continued on past the stunned Mamoru and up the
stairs toward his room.
"What was that?" Washu asked as she came into the
hallway.
"Ranma seems to be upset about something," Mamoru
said pointing up the stairs.
"Oh kay," Washu said, glancing up the stairs.
"Well, I'm getting back to work."
--------------------------------------------------
It was a couple hours later when Urd and Kasuga
came home through the TV, Kasuga looking normal for
after work. This meant he looked close to being shell
shocked. He wandered into the kitchen and felt
suddenly very nervous. There was a miasma of anger
towards the male gender hanging about the room,
strangely enough the only one he saw was Ranma getting
some soda out of the fridge.
"I hope this isn't another of Washu's..." Ranma
paused as someone tapped on his shoulder. Kasuga had
brief period of warning as Ranma identified the person
that had touched him as male before he was thrown
across the room. "ACK!! Don't do that! Next time you
might get hurt."
A dazed Kasuga stood up trying to process the
"might" portion of that comment. He had no doubt that
Ranma was the source of all the telepathically
muttered "perverts. all of them perverts," but that
made no sense. He briefly considered a simple
telepathic probe, but after a day of his boss's "easy
assignments" he wasn't willing to get into ANOTHER
life threatening situation so soon.
"Hey, Ranma," Urd said as she walked into the
kitchen. "Hey, your fiancee called. Left you a
message." Ranma had stiffened at the mention of
fiancee.
"What was the message?" he asked. He blinked as
Urd smacked him with a plushie mallet that had
materialized some how.
"Ranma no baka," Urd said deadpan. Ranma's face
actually brightened.
"Oh..." Ranma looked up at the television and with
a smirk gave his standard retort. "Jeez, Akane, do
you have to be such a tomboy? What are you going to
do next, try to cook?" He sighed and looked back into
the fridge.
"I needed that."
"Umm, Kasuga, why are you why over there?" Urd
asked. "And why is there a hole shaped like you in
the wall?" Kasuga pointed at Ranma. Urd remembered
the other thing Akane had called about. Something
about a monthly condition that sometimes made Ranma
jittery, moody, irritable. Several things started
clicking in the goddess's mind. She suddenly started
laughing.
"AHHH!!!! How'd Kodachi find me!?" Ranma was out of
the room in a flash. A few moments later a muffled.
"URD!!" Drifted from further in the house.
"Ranma's....jumpy today," Kasuga said quietly.
"He's had a bad day," Urd snickered.
--------------------------------------------------
"Are you certain about this?" Washu asked.
"Yeah, but let's not talk about it when we get out
of your lab, here, " Urd said. "I doubt Ranma would
appreciate this getting out."
"So how do we test this theory?"
Urd smiled.
--------------------------------------------------
"I think your cousin has a thing for your fiancee,"
Urd said idly in front of the TV. She and Washu noted
the flinch and nodded knowingly.
"I never..." Ranma swallowed and glanced at the
"hidden" camera. "What makes you think she likes
Akane?"
"Just things she said," Urd shrugged.
"I agree, now that I think about it," Washu said.
"Though I didn't catch on to it right away."
"So do you like share her with your cou..." Ataru
didn't get to finish as the hand he had placed on
Ranma's shoulder was grabbed and the lecher was thrown
to the ground.
"PERVERT!! I TOLD YOU STOP SQUEEZING ME!!"
"What are you?" Ataru looked up and screamed.
--------------------------------------------------
"Akane," Kasumi turned away from the screen to her
sister.
"Yeah?"
"Have you been training Ranma?"
"Uhh...."
"That first time Shampoo see man use mallet trick."
Everbody seemed to have forgotten the Akane/Ranma
interplay in the face of the sight of Ranma using the
interdimensional mallet.
--------------------------------------------------
"Okay, I believe it," Washu said to Urd. "Now we
just need to figure out how he does it." The two
smiled mischievously.
"I JUST MALLETED SOME GUY!!!" Ranma shouted.
"AAAHHHH!!!" And the pig-tailed martial artist ran up
into his room.
--------------------------------------------------
"Oh good," Kasumi remarked. "By the time he starts
panicking about becoming a girl its almost over."
"I can't believe I've never noticed this before,"
Nabiki said dazedly.
"HEY!! He complained about my cooking again!" Akane
fumed.
=====
"Caffeinated Kender? What's that, a berserk spell?" -
Tribble, Kender Warrior of the Celestial Kingdom
Signed
He of Too Many Names (Thrythlind/Thryth/Luke/Hyperbole/Pika/Pooka)
http://members.aol.com/thrythlind/snake.html
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