Greetings, FFMLers.
I've been hanging around for a while, and now I figure I'm ready to post
this.
This is the first part of my second fic.
My first, "Embryonic Eclipse" was recently MSTed by Improficroast, to be
released soon.
The second, "MECHAnoia" is an original story, spoofing the whole
X-Files/Neon Genesis Evangelion/Neon Exodus Evangelion thing.
C&C of all sorts is greatly appreciated to the point of almost being
insisted on.
Thanks much,
Echo "My ex-girlfriend spends her time writing NIN fics" Albarn
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-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: Mechanoia1.txt
NOTE:
[Internal Monologue]
|Text on a paper or sign
<:> Artist: "Song playing on soundtrack" <:>
OR
<:> SFX: "Effect" <:>
========================================================================
MECHAnoia by Echo Albarn
halo one: cheerful assimilation
========================================================================
<:> Metal Gear (NES): "Indoor Music" <:>
The folder said:
|THE CONTENTS OF THIS FILE ARE CLASSIFIED CODEWORD LEVEL SECURITY
|National Security Agency/Black Ops
|Mechanical-Electronic Conscious Humanoid Automaton (MECHA) Project
Now, being a complete anime geek in my high school and college
days (Okay, so I'm still an otaku. Sue me.), I knew exactly what I was
getting into. So I asked the suit, "Giant Robots, huh?"
This guy, what appeared to be a spook, looked at me like I was
something that the cat didn't want to finish last night. "Yes." he goes.
"Giant Robots".
"And you expect me to pilot them?" The whole while, I was thinking
how dumb this all sounded. But there I was, sitting in a room in the
basement of the Pentagon.
"Are we going to have to speak on this 5th grade level all day?
YES, we have giant robots. YES, you're going to pilot them. NO, you
don't have a choice, you're not going to cop out on your country."
"I could move to England and smoke weed. Bill Clinton did."
"Do you want me to beat the hell out of you?" He changed the
subject. "According to your profile, you've been living for this
moment."
[That damn profile,] I thought, [why'd I have to write that I was
big on Anime?]
"Yeah, but I figured you were gonna hire me as a janitor or
something."
"We have an opening in our project, and you are going to fill
it. It's not a janitorial position."
[This is AWESOME! But I can't just let him force me around...So:]
"Says who?"
"Mr. .44 Sig-Sauer says so."
"Ah..."
[Well, there is something to be said for going with the flow...]
Shortly thereafter, there were three of us walking down an armor-
plated corridor. It was me, to my left, the graying spook from before,
and to my right, a woman who looked like the subject of "Hot for
Teacher" crossed with the hard-nosed attitude of an uber-feminist. As
was soon to be seen, there are certain penalties Fate delivers every
now and again to people who aren't listening.
"You'll be given a barracks room here, that will be arranged
shortly," Spook said.
[Smile and nod.]
"You're being given a security clearance..." Feminazi continued.
[Smile and nod.]
"Which means, of course, you'll be forced to leave your former
life behind."
[Smile and---WHOA!]
<:> SFX: Record Scratching <:>
I stopped dead in the middle of the hallway. The two agents halted
in front of me.
"Not only are you making me pilot the robot, you're pulling a
"disappearance" on me, too? This is really not fair, I am after all, a
human being. I've got a life, a house,"
"Liar." Spook interrupted.
"...and a girlfriend."
"Bullshit!" Feminazi coughed.
"Well, dammit, do you expect me to take this lying down?"
Spook looked at the Feminazi and shrugged. "Yes," he said.
Then there was a sharp pain in my back and everything went dark.
====================
<:> Jimmy Page: Guitar Solo from "Dazed And Confused" <:>
When I woke up, the world swam. Large lumps of it refused to
stay still, and I tried to reach out and grab onto them; if not to
steady myself, then at least to stop the world's sickening motion. It
was at that point I noticed the straps.
I was naked and strapped to a table for the second time in my
life. The first was a none-too-pleasurable experience involving an evil
ex-girlfriend, and this didn't seem to have much of a shot at being any
better. What basically amounted to seat belts encircled my wrists,
ankles, and ribcage. Those little sticky-monitor patches were all over
my body, as well, with a few in very uncomfortable locations. The room
was empty, at least, the half in front of me was, and it was painted a
sterile white. I was reminded of the room full of weaponry in "The
Matrix", only minus the really cool guns. The first thing I heard was
a woman's voice over the loudspeakers.
"Hello, there. Are you awake yet?"
She had a voice like an angel, and let's just say I had a tough
time controlling "mini-me".
"Uh, hi?" I replied.
"There we go," she practically cooed, "now we just have to do a
few tests, then you can go catch a few z's."
I licked dry lips, and dreaded the answer to my next question:
"What...KIND of tests?"
There was a brief chuckle, and this person asked, "Well, have
you ever heard of Urotsukidoji?"
<:> John Williams: "Jaws- Main Theme" <:>
My eyes widened, and I got scared.
Really scared.
And when I saw the first tentacle, my heart stopped...
====================
<:> Rush: "La Villa Strangiato: Movements 1-2" <:>
I finished zippering up the grey-green jumpsuit I was given, then
turned around to face the lady whose voice was behind my "test".
"You could have mentioned you wanted to test my fear threshold..."
She smiled, and shrugged her shoulders in her lab coat. "And ruin
the fun? Oh, we couldn't do a thing like that," she giggled.
This person was only about 5 1/2 feet tall, and she had rather
short brown hair, which bounced about as she moved her head.
I looked her in the eye. "And the reason you followed me into the
locker room...?" I asked.
She grinned widely then, and stood one her tip-toes to whisper in
my ear, "Because...I CAN!" She left me then, kinda bouncing her way to
the door. I slumped against a nearby locker and watched her leave.
Rather involuntarily, my vision was drawn towards her nether quarters.
I shook my head as if to clear it, but: [She's cute. Crazy, but damn
cute.]
After a moment, I realized something. [This's a shitload of
lockers...Who else changes here?] I was still rather unnerved by
what had just happened, so I repeated it aloud, "Who *else* changes
here?"
I went down the row of lockers, tracing each blank nameplate with
my fingers, but there was only one Government-Issue Locker with a name
on it.
My Own.
========================================================================
<:> Carl Palmer: "Bach Two-Part Invention in D Minor" <:>
NEXT TIME, ON MECHAnoia, HALO TWO!
SEE
The Giant Robot!
EXPERIENCE
More Government Harassment!
FEEL
What it's like to be 'pursued'!
"THE SUN IS TOO LOUD TODAY", COMING SOON...WATCH FOR IT!
========================================================================
Author notes. You can skip these if you want.
Ahem. Firstly, I would like to point out that this is not a
self-insertion series...Series...I can't believe I'm actually going to
make this a series...But anyway, I just write better from the first-
person point-of-view, so we have an as-yet unnamed male main character,
An aging spook, An evil woman in charge of things, and a sadistically
cute woman in charge of other things...Yeah, all I need now is some more
pilots, a megalomaniac, and the lack of heart to kill the entire cast at
the end, and I can be Hideaki Anno, too! This fic does seem to parody
Evangelion slightly, but that was not originally the intent. It looks
like it will be now, however. Even though this part is short, expect
future bits to be longer, as I try for some actual character
development... Whaddaya want for nothing? Rubber Biscuit?
-E.A
P.S.: I got the idea for inserting a soundtrack into the story from the
people over at Eyrie Productions, Unlimited. I did not, however, get the
idea of creating my own production company from them. M.I.T.D. has been
the name that I work under in student video production for several
years. Just giving credit where credit's due.
========================================================================
"MECHAnoia, halo one" (C) 2000, Echo Albarn/Mirror in the Dark Prod.
========================================================================