"Yes," Jose said. "Father was sick of watching you fail all
the time, so he created someone who wouldn't: me."

This might just be my mode of thinking, and I'm not sure it's right, but I think a double-hyphen is more fitting than a colon.

As for the fic, well, let's just say I had a pretty contorted look on my face when I finished this sucker.  But I especially liked the beginning with "Shinji, you're fired."  I can't believe I never thought of that.

Fun.

- Jon, who should probably write more, both with this C&C and his own fic, but is lazy.
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