(That's CybersIx, not CybersEx. Perverts.)
$Cybersix? What is that?
Erm. Ahem. I think this is a first. I don't think anyone else has
posted a C6 fic to this list.
This is supposed to be humor. If it works, I'm happy.
Oh, yeah. I'm Erin. (Waves)
$First fic?
Disclaimers: Cybersix was created by Carlos Trillo, Carlos Meglia,
and is copyrighted to the aforementioned Carloses, and TMS-NOA, a
Canadian-Japanese venture. Eva belongs to Anno and Gainax.
The Newest Pilot
A Fan Fiction
It was a rather quiet day at NERV headquarters, and Gendo Ikari
had gathered the three pilots in his office. He had a reason, of
course. It wasn't like he was a sadist, and enjoyed watching
innocent, helpless children sweat it out under his gaze. Except
for Rei. Rei didn't sweat. But if she did, each precious drop
would be worth more than diamonds...But this isn't a lemon, so
back to our point.
$Cute for a spamfic, but don't make it a habit.
"I have gathered you here today," Gendo intoned, and
smirked internally as Shinji withered in his seat, "to make an
announcement:
"Shinji, you're fired."
$Ayep, ayep, A#1 quality one liner there. Cute.
Shinji gasped and seemed to shrink even more. "Father, no!
How could you -"
But the rest of his self-pitying diatribe was cut off when
Asuka jumped out of her seat and began to dance around the room,
singing loudly in German.
$Off key, of course.
Rei watched them both, no emotions registering on her
beautiful, flawless face. Rei was too perfect for emotions...But
since this isn't a lemon, we aren't touching that with a thirty-
foot pole.
$A Rei fan, eh?
"Silence!" Gendo bellowed. Shinji's mouth clamped shut and
Asuka froze mid-dance. "That's better," he continued. "Shinji,
you're being replaced by someone more competent," I hope, he
thought, "than you are."
$And that Yui should think is even cuter, and want to protect even more
when he's the pilot.
He touched a hidden control panel on his
desk and a secret door opened beside them
A small figure goose-stepped its way into Gendo's office,
and stopped only a foot away from his desk. And completely and
totally coincidentally, it was also close enough to see up
Asuka's skirt. But, since this isn't a lemon, it was a
coincidence. Really.
The boy (for, indeed, it was a boy) smirked at them, the
light reflecting off his pince-nez, and succeeded in looking
rather menacing.
"Who is this spore?" Asuka yelled.
Alas, it was only a look.
Gendo cleared his throat. "Shinji. This is your new
brother, Jose."
$Say what Jose?
"What?!" Shinji and Asuka yelled in concert. Rei simply
raised an eyebrow.
$And, coincidently enough, that's about the same amount of emotion she
showed in the entire NGE series, combined into one expression.
"Yes," Jose said. "Father was sick of watching you fail all
the time, so he created someone who wouldn't: me."
$Can't agree with the :.
"Yes," Gendo added, a note of pride in his voice. "Jose is
not only my son, he is also my clone."
$Minime! That's funny.
"What?!"
"This isn't possible..."
"That would explain why I have not seen a stork."
$Who said that? I really hate it when there isn't more indication who is
speaking.
"Father?" Jose piped in, and shattered the din. All four of
them turned to watch as he spoke. "I have a request to make. I
want you to get rid of the stupid redhead. She's too loud."
$And her choice in underwear is sooo outdated.
"What did you call me?"
"A stupid girl."
"Why you little..." she snarled, taking a step toward the
diminutive clone, her intent quite plain.
"I don't have to take this." Jose gestured vaguely. "Boys,
get her!"
It took him a few moments to realize that, no, he didn't
have any huge, green bodyguards, and by then, Asuka was on top of
him. Yep, Gendo cloned Jose, but forgot the Fixed Ideas. Sucks to
be him, eh?
$Hmm, personally, I don't like the forth wall break.
While Asuka pummeled the newest pilot into chunky salsa,
Shinji and Rei quietly let themselves out - Rei because it was
getting boring, and Shinji because he didn't want to be next.
Gendo pinched the bridge of his nose as Jose's screams grew
to fill his office. Next clone, he wouldn't bother making an
announcement to all the pilots. And maybe he would replace the
German girl as well. She had her uses, but she was far too
violent for his tastes. Another Rei would fill the position quite
nicely.
$Make a mini-Rei! Hell, make lots, and then stick Asuka in a room with
them. By the time she gets out she'll be stark raving mad.
Funny. Worth a read. And someone needs to send this to Lara Bartram.
Thanks for the laugh.
Kichigai
ICQ# 37606443
http://come.to/Kichigai
"People don't want handouts! People want hand jobs!"
--Connecticut Governor William O'Neill at a 1998 political rally.