Deborah Goldsmith wrote:
I consciously based a lot of chapter 13 on the story in manga volume 11
where Ranma poses as "Yoiko", Ryouga's little sister. Shirokuro has puppies
and is one TV, just like in that story. Little snatches of the dialogue from
that episode are in chapter 13, though they are sometimes said by Ranko now,
where Akane said them in the manga. One big difference is that Ryouga's
parents are home, a change I made because it suited me. :-)
You might want to put some thought into how it happened though. For example,
having Nodoka do something that leads to them being home.
I didn't think getting a GPS receiver was a miracle. I thought you just had
to walk into a store and buy one.
<shrug> Not that they would be any use to an Hibiki. They can't read maps
or follow simple directions.
I find myself compelled to agree with Mr. Noakes to a large
degree. While this Ranko may be a better person than Ranma, (she's
certainly nicer), she isn't nearly as interesting or likable. You
(and the characters in the story) may see this person as basically
all the good bits of Ranma without the unpleasant edges caused by
unwanted maleness...but I (and I suspect not a few other readers) see
Ranko as Ranma with all the unique and fascinating bits of his
personality removed and less desirable traits inserted.
Ranko *does* come across as a whiny crybaby, and as someone
who's lost their fire. I know from your comments that you didn't
mean this, but this is how it looks. No amount of having other
characters in a story praising another character's good points will
make the reader believe the character has them if they aren't
effectively conveyed.
I guess I can't agree with you. I'm detecting an undertone here that you
think this story is anti-male. I worked very hard to make sure it was not.
As Ranko says, she does not look down on boys, she just isn't one and
doesn't want to be one. I certainly don't believe Ranko is a "better" person
than Ranma; she's just a girl, where Ranma was a boy (or acted like one).
What puzzles me is how Ranko magically lost that Ranma hoof in mouth disease.
This indicates that she was deliberately saying insensitive and hurtful things
to be
"manly". This does not make me think well of her. Nor do I think tact is one
of
biological perks of being female.
I think guys are great (cute, too). I don't think women are better than men,
or vice versa. I would never, ever want to be a man, though. Most of the
women I know feel the same way. So does Ranko. If you're a guy and you have
a hard time believing this, then imagine being a woman and see how you feel
about it.
...Ok. I've done that. I feel fine about it.
I find it hard to believe that anyone could go through the kind of
experience Ranko has while maintaining a stiff upper lip. I still think her
emotional fragility is realistic given the trauma she's suffered, and I
think she is visibly recovering from it by the end of the story. She's on a
more even keel.
As to whether Ranko is an interesting, worthwhile person, well, that's a
matter of opinion. Part of the story is about her coming to believe she has
self-worth, even though she is not Ranma anymore.
Some specific suggestions: Everything tends to go waay too
smoothly for Ranko and company once she decides to go en femme.
there need to be more roadblocks; people who like things and Ranma
the way they were, and aren't afraid to say so.
*Why* do there need to be such roadblocks? None of the Tendou sisters need
Ranma to be Ranko. Genma feels far too guilty to fight back, and he and
Souun have known all along that Ranko is a girl. Nodoka desperately wants
Ranma to be Ranko again. Who would fight it, and why would they fight it?
For the sake of making her suffer?
Akane for a start. Look how she reacted in the blow to the head story.
The school administration because it creates very confusing paperwork and
adjustments. Ryoga, who has lost what he enjoyed more than anything else
in the world. Kodachi. Ukyo. Shampoo. None of whom
have demonstrated an inclination to accept things as anything except what
they want them to be. Happosai, who no longer has a worthy heir to the
school. (That Ranma's a girl isn't necessarily a problem. That Ranma's
a girl who doesn't care about martial arts and wants to become a concert
violinist says that the school of Anything Goes Martial Arts dies with
Happosai and the dads.)
If there is one actual mistake in the story, it's getting rid of
Ranko's curse too early. Having to deal with the fact that her body
will sometimes be male whether she wants to be or not would add more
dramatic tension to Ranko's situation; and remind us that this *is*
in fact Ranma, whatever else has changed.
I think there is plenty of dramatic tension: Ranko is having to cope with a
whole new world.
Really? Seems to come naturally and without effort. If I recall the earlier
chapters correctly, she seemed to change to feminine speech without effort
and positively welcomed the opportunity to dress femininely. Apart from
her "I'm a girl so I have no right to a competitive drive" complex there didn't
seem to be many problems. But I'll admit that I stopped reading it three
chapters
or so ago. (I think. I've lost track.)
I'd also like to point out that Ranko is under no obligation to remain Ranma
just to make someone else happy who happens to like Ranma the way he is: not
the other characters, not the readers.
It's precisely because Ranma was such a larger-than-life character that
Ranko finds herself unsure how to find her own self-worth as Ranko. Ranma
was a very hard act to follow: as Akane notes early on, he's like some
historical figure who was half myth; a demi-god. That's why Ranko keeps
belittling herself by saying "That was Saotome Ranma, not Saotome Ranko."
Does that sound like someone who thinks Ranma was a monster, or had no
worth?
Absolutely. It sounds like someone ashamed of who they were to the point
where they are pretending it was someone else to me.
Again, not the issues I wanted to cover in this story, but a perfectly valid
approach to take (any takers?). I suspect my Ranko would call on her friends
and family to help her were this to happen. I think Ranko, Ryouga, Akane,
Ukyou, Shampoo, Mousse, and Cologne all working together could handle any
threat like this. Saffron might be more of a challenge.
Hunh. Why is Shampoo even there any more? If I was her, I would have gone
home the moment I accepted that Ranma really was a girl...unless I wanted to
check
and see whether she was a _lesbian_ girl.